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View Poll Results: Fi ONLY: Do you feel safe to freely share your thoughts about Fi on TypoC?

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  • Yes

    23 63.89%
  • No

    13 36.11%
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  1. #311
    Vaguely Precise Seymour's Avatar
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    ^ That was actually very helpful. I've never reported someone (although I'm familiar with the functionality), partially because it seemed either too extreme or whiny/petulant to do so. Knowing that it can be "is it just me, or is this post way out of line?" kind of input about something that feels inappropriate is helpful. Granted, mods have limited time, so one shouldn't ask that about every less-than-positive post.

    I guess it's ironic that "sounding whiny" should be an impediment to reporting, since apparently that often how we some across in public posts despite our best efforts.

  2. #312
    Strongly Ambivalent Ivy's Avatar
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    We really do depend on you guys reporting things. Especially if more than one person reports the same thing, then we know it's less likely to be a personal squabble where someone is just reporting a person they don't like. As for limited time, you're right, but I would greatly prefer to monitor reported posts for forum problems, and then only read the parts of the forum I'm actually interested in reading for my own purposes.
    The one who buggers a fire burns his penis
    -anonymous graffiti in the basilica at Pompeii

  3. #313
    Iron Maiden fidelia's Avatar
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    Yeah, I find that if a person reports a post, even if some mods don't get to it right away, there's always someone who does. I don't think of those people as being whiny (unless they are only reporting to get their favourite enemy du jour into trouble) and I really appreciate having a heads up. To me prevention and proactivity is a lot better than acting after things have already gotten messy. A lot of trouble is head off-able if we know about it in time. We also appreciate people who care enough about keeping the forum a pleasant place to be that they are willing to let us know if something needs attention. It's kind of like having a place in the city where people could report things like burnt out street lamps, vandalism, signs that have been knocked over and so on. It's not a matter of getting people into trouble, so much as making the forum a pleasant and productive place to be.

  4. #314
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    Dial 911.

  5. #315
    reborn PeaceBaby's Avatar
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    ^ don't laugh, reporting a post does feel like we are doing the equivalent!

    -----

    Quote Originally Posted by Seymour View Post
    ^ That was actually very helpful. I've never reported someone (although I'm familiar with the functionality), partially because it seemed either too extreme or whiny/petulant to do so. Knowing that it can be "is it just me, or is this post way out of line?" kind of input about something that feels inappropriate is helpful. Granted, mods have limited time, so one shouldn't ask that about every less-than-positive.

    I guess it's ironic that "sounding whiny" should be an impediment to reporting, since apparently that often how we some across in public posts despite our best efforts.
    I thought the same thing. It is ironic, isn't it?

    -----

    Edit: Talking about possibilities, not certainties. Talking about one possible future, not the present.

    One problem I can see happening is that Fi users continue to be reticent to report, but those that do get branded as "whiny" ... for reporting.

    Another issue is that since we've MOL established Fe users don't feel offended by what Fi users do in discussion, it's hard to see how this is eminently helpful. Perhaps some sensitivity to what offends, "Well this doesn't bother me but seems to be a trend to bother those other folks."

    Seriously, we already know that people find some Fi users "sensitive" and "whiny" so one tries to be stoic and independent for the most part. The last thing I am interested in is being in a situation where I report bad behaviour and the mods feel like, "Oh look, another post reported by 'Fi Person X' :rolli:"

    Maybe it's good to think of the old customer service rule here, if one person complains, there are probably 10 unhappy people who didn't and who remain dissatisfied.
    "Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one."
    Eleanor Roosevelt


    "When people see some things as beautiful,
    other things become ugly.
    When people see some things as good,
    other things become bad."
    Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching

  6. #316
    Iron Maiden fidelia's Avatar
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    Whoa, wait a sec - where did we ever say that those Fi users who report posts get branded as whiny? I don't see them that way, and I don't think the modstaff does. Now reporting something isn't an absolute guarantee that action will be taken for every reported post, but it certainly isn't disregarded either. It really bothers me to think that there would be an assumption that anyone really believes that I would immediately discredit someone reporting something just because I'm a Fe user. I've tried especially to participate in these threads because I DO want to understand Fi perspective and take it seriously.

    I've noticed a lot of times where Fi users make some generally comment about the mods. When I follow up on it, they say, "Well, you aren't like that" or "I forgot about you" and yet we're all often maligned publicly to the forum, and sometimes people assume that since they are older members, they must have more information that they don't have access to. This seems terribly unfair. I try very hard to act fairly, even when I don't completely agree with someone. Therefore it does feel like an attack on my character when those kinds of statements are made. If there is an issue where you think one of us is consistently acting unfairly, I really wish it would be addressed with me, rather than just making a non-specific and negative statement about us as a group. I know PB that you and I have gotten into it in the middle of threads, but that does not mean I do not take you seriously or value your input. If I've made you feel that way, I sincerely apologize.

    EDIT: Perhaps this is an example of skylights admonition to look for the feeling tone instead of the words themselves. In that case, I will try to take that under advisement.

  7. #317
    reborn PeaceBaby's Avatar
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    ^ Whoops, let's take a time out. If this comes across as critical I apologize, but I think we are misunderstanding each other. To clarify, I said "One problem I can see happening..." - my post above is just an Ne style "possibility" post, looking at the future.

    This post was thinking out loud to potential issues Fi-ers could face by increasing their reporting. My impression (and yours too I think) is that Fi-ers are hesitant to report posts, for many different reasons. What would happen with a drastic increase in Fi reporting? Would it have the effect of making the mods feel we are "whiny" just in a new way?

    I didn't say this already is happening. No worries.
    "Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one."
    Eleanor Roosevelt


    "When people see some things as beautiful,
    other things become ugly.
    When people see some things as good,
    other things become bad."
    Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching

  8. #318
    Iron Maiden fidelia's Avatar
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    Alrighty then. Continue .

  9. #319
    this is my winter song EJCC's Avatar
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    I haven't read most of the thread, but I was invited here, so I guess I'll answer the OP, from the perspective of a lesser Fi user (but an Fi user nonetheless):

    If, by "sharing thoughts about Fi", you mean talking about the function in general, yeah, I feel perfectly safe talking about it. It's a function. There are eight of them and we talk about them. Whatever. But if you mean talking about my Fi personally, I don't feel so comfortable talking about it. Why? Because it's irrational. If I talk about it, I'm inviting a debate, and if someone tries to debate me, I'll lose, and not only will I lose, but I will lose in a crushing and humiliating way. It's a lose-lose situation. I wouldn't be willing to step up like so many ENFPs do and loudly Te-ize my Fi, and take down the opponent with it, because if/when I get the instinct to do that, I realize that doing that would make me look like I was just getting all emotional and angry in lieu of actually using evidence, so I would generally just choose to give up, instead of continuing with the argument and embarrassing myself.
    ~ g e t f e s t i v e ! ~


    EJCC: "The Big Questions in my life right now: 1) What am I willing to live with? 2) What do I have to live with? 3) What can I change for the better?"
    Coriolis: "Is that the ESTJ Serenity Prayer?"



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  10. #320
    Member Manis's Avatar
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    Skipped right to the end of this thread. All the discussion seems very interesting but I don't want to have to trawl through all that.

    I think the problem with Fi is that it's the absolute most subjective function. It's so hard to describe it's often not worth trying - sometimes you know the other person's just not going to get it. The constant need in our society to justify yourself and everything you're doing has been one of my major stumbling blocks in life, as I'm sure it has been to many other Fi users. The way I've found to deal with it has been to care less about what other people think; to try to be as unapologetic as I can; and to value my individuality above all else, none of which has been particularly successful. As to how safe I feel to share these kind of thoughts: I've actually said a fair bit more on this subject in this post alone than I generally do to friends and family, but I think that's more the need to vent than anything.

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