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  1. #31
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    Tibby:And hey, have you ever thought someone might actually really love what you're doing when you're revealing and bare and naked, because it eases them to let their own guard down and trust you? I know I love this, and admire people who do it.
    Haha. Yes, I love when people confide in me as well. I suppose it's a little bit of a hypocrisy thing, then. I want to help you, but I don't want you to help me. It is an admirable trait, I certainly admire people who bare their feelings. But, when I myself do it, it just feels wrong. I don't know. lol.

  2. #32
    Junior Member Razvan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Random Ness View Post
    You make me feel warm and fuzzy.
    I like it when I have this effect on people. It makes me, feel warm and fuzzy.

    Quote Originally Posted by musicnerd93 View Post
    Haha. Yes, I love when people confide in me as well. I suppose it's a little bit of a hypocrisy thing, then. I want to help you, but I don't want you to help me. It is an admirable trait, I certainly admire people who bare their feelings. But, when I myself do it, it just feels wrong. I don't know. lol.
    Yeah, me too, I am really afraid that I will be either judged, or misunderstood or scare people away with the intensity of my feelings.

  3. #33
    Kraken down on piracy Lux's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Eckhart View Post
    I have also real, real trouble revealing much about me. I just don't. The problem is obviously when you don't reveal anything about you, then it stands in the way for a deeper relationship between two persons I guess...
    This is what I have found. When I was a teenager and in my early twenties I was very guarded. Now however, I realized (the hard way) that in order to feel the connection I so crave with some people I absolutely have to share that part of me as well, otherwise they don't really know you.. you don't really let them in, and there is usually something missing (for me.) I obviously don't share my very personal thoughts and feelings with everyone or even many people, but that's what makes the ones I do share with special to me. At first it was uncomfortable to share such an intimate portion of myself, but I am so glad that I did. I have developed the best relationships I've ever had with a few people. They wouldn't be as wonderful if I not opened up. I will say it is still hard at times for me and it is an ongoing project of mine. The feeling of someone accepting you even when they see the 'darker side' is just beautiful.
    "It is not length of life, but depth of life." ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

    "Thought breeds thought." ~ Henry David Thoreau

  4. #34
    Senior Member tibby's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lux View Post
    The feeling of someone accepting you even when they see the 'darker side' is just beautiful.
    I absolutely concur.

  5. #35
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    Me too! ^ So romantic. Hahaha.

  6. #36
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by musicnerd93 View Post
    Haha. Yes, I love when people confide in me as well. I suppose it's a little bit of a hypocrisy thing, then. I want to help you, but I don't want you to help me. It is an admirable trait, I certainly admire people who bare their feelings. But, when I myself do it, it just feels wrong. I don't know. lol.
    damn... me too
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  7. #37
    Senior Member KDude's Avatar
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    I love help.. but it does feel weird just outright asking. When someone starts wanting to get a little personal (even if I trust them), I start beating around the bush a lot. Some interaction with other NFJ's I've known becomes slightly stalemated too..where we both think we see something about the other to help them with. OTOH, this has happened with ISFJs too.

  8. #38
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    Quote Originally Posted by mochajava View Post
    There is something very big and real to fear: there are people in this world who will become intimate with you, learn a lot about you, then turn around and judge you for it and/or use it against you.
    This JUST happened to me. About 5 years ago, I told an old friend of mine about the most awful thing that's ever happened to me. Just recently, I find out she twisted the story around and used it against me to gossip to a bunch of asshole girls. Granted, it wasn't worse than anything they've gone through or done, but that wasn't why I was upset. I was upset because it was f'n personal. And no matter how much we don't get along now, there are still things she had told me in the past that I would never have the heart to disclose to anyone else. What pissed me off most, was that I knew better! I was trying to give her the benefit of the doubt. Never will I do that again. My boyfriend on the other hand, he knows everything about me and I know everything about him... and I love it. No judgement, just support.

    Quote Originally Posted by musicnerd93 View Post
    Haha. Yes, I love when people confide in me as well. I suppose it's a little bit of a hypocrisy thing, then. I want to help you, but I don't want you to help me. It is an admirable trait, I certainly admire people who bare their feelings. But, when I myself do it, it just feels wrong. I don't know. lol.
    I feel like I have to constantly show I'm strong. Any ounce of weakness makes me feel way too vulnerable, unless I'm using an example in order to relate to someone who is really confiding in me. Then I will discuss only small issues, nothing really personal. I love when people feel safe enough to talk with me.

    Quote Originally Posted by Lauren Ashley View Post
    I can relate.

    I would share more, but you know... I'm guarded about my emotions.
    yep

  9. #39
    Senior Member Synapse's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mochajava View Post
    There is something very big and real to fear: there are people in this world who will become intimate with you, learn a lot about you, then turn around and judge you for it and/or use it against you. My father is a prime example -- anything he knows about anyone gets turned around and used against them, like a knife. It can be good or bad, but heaven forbid it be something embarrassing or shameful in the eyes of society.

    Intense emotions, sensitivity, and vulnerability are seen as flaws in our society. Maybe we don't want to deal with the judgment, so we withhold these parts of ourselves. I don't think it's necessarily bad, just incredibly exhausting when there's no one around with whom you can "drop the facade". That being said... people are real and more accepting than I'm estimating... but if you are too nice / sensitive, people WILL walk all over you knowing you won't fight back...
    This is true to an extent.

    Until the point of references reasserts back to a restful state of good where you can trust in your positive self essence.

    Having known what its like to be dissected and criticized for everything by my family has taught me to trust only myself.

    Unfortunately I absorbed my families drama and with an amplification of health issues I opened up where I expressed such negativity it was hard to bear. Unfortunately for those friends that were privy to the exhaustiveness, indeed magnitude of my freewheeling expression of depression left. Funnily enough it was infj friends who let me go, I don't think they could see the end in sight with me. All of a sudden I felt like I was in self preservation mode where expressing the depression was doing more harm than good.

    Which it was because it was shaping and influencing minds in directions that were voids. And so after many years of remanifesting the point of energy to a healthy state I can say the vulnerability applies when you are expressing stress points, indeed when health isn't at an optimal level. For then you are drawn into your world and others and absorb them and its a backlog then of uncomfortable issues.

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