Neutralpov
New member
- Joined
- Jun 29, 2009
- Messages
- 310
YESSS
It is so weird to finally have someone else see what I couldn't put in words. Thanks, these threads are good stuff. I felt that for a long time in my gut but it is something you can't get mad at someone for, especially if they are genuine. But the thing is over too much time it becomes a problem that our gut picks up on, and I couldn't explain it.
There is a book on this topic of ENFJ marriages, (I believe How to Stop Elderly Abuse- it is based on type, don't let the title scare you. It is the precursor to Power Dating Games: What's Important to Know About the Person You'll Marry by Anne Hart) and it says that ENFJ will resent Fi because it withholds affection and we ENFJ's won't admit or ask for it but we in fact do need it.
All in all it is good to hear the human side of this, meaning it isn't because people don't care, and I am not stupid for doing what is best for myself. Which is really hard to do when it means hurting someone's feelings. It has really made me take a look at my needs and really view them as worthy, which I forget in my group leader status-no longer.
Finally, it was only two years ago that I finally realized that INFJs do a very poor job of reading what I don't express. (I don't know if ENFJs have better luck.) I always figured I was an open book to my INFJ friends, so it was quite the shock to realize that I not only wasn't, but that they found my inner depths completely unreadable.
It was only much later I realized that some people need emotions to be expressed for them to be tangible. I can appreciate this viewpoint now, but in the past it was simply something I never considered.
It is so weird to finally have someone else see what I couldn't put in words. Thanks, these threads are good stuff. I felt that for a long time in my gut but it is something you can't get mad at someone for, especially if they are genuine. But the thing is over too much time it becomes a problem that our gut picks up on, and I couldn't explain it.
There is a book on this topic of ENFJ marriages, (I believe How to Stop Elderly Abuse- it is based on type, don't let the title scare you. It is the precursor to Power Dating Games: What's Important to Know About the Person You'll Marry by Anne Hart) and it says that ENFJ will resent Fi because it withholds affection and we ENFJ's won't admit or ask for it but we in fact do need it.
All in all it is good to hear the human side of this, meaning it isn't because people don't care, and I am not stupid for doing what is best for myself. Which is really hard to do when it means hurting someone's feelings. It has really made me take a look at my needs and really view them as worthy, which I forget in my group leader status-no longer.