User Tag List

12 Last

Results 1 to 10 of 19

  1. #1
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Posts
    255

    Default NFs: Do you have problems with getting to know _NTPs in relationships?

    Has anyone experienced problems with getting to know _NTPs on a personal level in relationships?
    I know there might be a huge difference in ENTPs and INTPs....I'm not sure what mine is....
    sometimes I have the feeling I don't really know him at all....his thought etc. It's really strange, because we have a deep connection, I often feel like I don't know him........ doesn't ask too many personal questions....straaaange. because it's really great to talk to him, sometimes feels just like we're strangers....haha, guess I shouldn't spread it all out, this personal relationship blabla.
    just wanted to know if you have similar experiences. I didn't want to complain or anything....

  2. #2
    Phantonym
    Guest

    Default

    Hm. Yeah. It can either be fantastic or make me feel that I'd rather have my teeth pulled. Both E's and I's. I'll tell you one thing, though, you'll never get bored. Frustrated maybe, but bored...nah. Anyway, how much can you really know anybody, people don't even know themselves, so...

  3. #3
    Revelation Lauren Ashley's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Enneagram
    4 sx/sp
    Socionics
    EII
    Posts
    3,067

    Default

    My experiences with INTPs and ENTPs are very different.

    With INTPs I often feel a barrier initially. It seems they are always just out of reach. My attempts to contact the person behind the wall are often thwarted, consciously or unconsciously, by their detachment. Sometimes it's like they were never there in the first place. I found them to be the hardest type to get to know at first, much harder than ENTPs; no comparison there.

    Note the above applies to male INTPs only. Female INTPs I tend to get along with extraordinarily well and I find that we tend to form close relationships in a short period of time.

    ENTPs I tend to get along with right off the bat. They are usually easy for me to approach and get to know. They readily share their opinions and thoughts on various subjects and I often feel they understand my viewpoints. Conversations with them can last for quite long. They are good at getting others to open up and are pretty open themselves. If we do have issues, it would never be about disclosure. Now getting them to be around when you need them... that's something else.

  4. #4
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    4w5 sp/sx
    Socionics
    IEI Ni
    Posts
    7,661

    Default

    I have very different experiences with both also, but in reverse.

    I tend to click with INTP guys fast IRL, and they will even seek me out when they are often passive about relationships. They'll open up to me emotionally rather quickly for people who often don't experience strong emotion. It's a pretty natural friendship/relationship with lots of great conversation, with the main barrier being their tendency to get belligerent and my tendency to be sensitive. The more balanced the INTP, the less this is an issue; there are a lot of things they can say to me that won't offend because I can have a dark sense of humor. I can also learn to take them with a grain of salt when they get cranky. I don't know any INTP women.

    ENTPs are not people I usually click with, but I also don't have problems with them IRL. I've only met one IRL who came off as abrasive & obnoxious.
    I notice I feel rather indifferent to most I come across. I had teachers in HS who were ENTP, and a trend is that they don't usually know what to make of me & so we keep each other at arm's length. Funny how INTPs often know exactly what they make of me.

    My dad is an ENTP and we have never really had an argument, but we also have a very distant relationship. He is pretty much the same towards everyone: condescending and dismissive, but my ESFP sister & step-mom get much more hurt by it. It rolls off my back easily, because I don't take him seriously. My issues with him have more to do with feeling abandoned as a child.

    The other ENTPs I've met usually strike me as funny & surprisingly book smart (behind the goofy behavior), but we never click enough to become close. They're too busy hamming it up and I'm too quiet and not easily impressed with their antics .
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

    INFP | 4w5 sp/sx | RLUEI - Primary Inquisitive | Tritype is tripe

  5. #5
    Senior Member cafe's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Enneagram
    9w1
    Socionics
    INFj None
    Posts
    9,827

    Default

    My INTP is pretty private and I don't think I'll ever really be privy to all his inner nooks and crannies but he's also not intrusive, which is good because I'm pretty private myself.
    “There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.”
    ~ John Rogers

  6. #6
    Banned
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    MBTI
    ENTP
    Posts
    202

    Default

    I often feel misunderstood by NFs... they think they know... or assume things... but theyre completely wrong

  7. #7
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    MBTI
    INFP
    Posts
    669

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by OrangeAppled View Post
    ... INTP... They'll open up to me emotionally rather quickly for people who often don't experience strong emotion. It's a pretty natural friendship/relationship with lots of great conversation, with the main barrier being their tendency to get belligerent and my tendency to be sensitive. The more balanced the INTP, the less this is an issue; there are a lot of things they can say to me that won't offend because I can have a dark sense of humor.
    Yup.
    I-71%, N-80%, F-74%, P-96%

  8. #8
    Phantonym
    Guest

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by SUPER View Post
    I often feel misunderstood by NFs... they think they know... or assume things... but theyre completely wrong
    Well, yes, that's the feeling I get with NT's as well when I'm on the receiving end of being misunderstood.

  9. #9
    Senior Member INTPness's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    MBTI
    INTP
    Enneagram
    5w4
    Posts
    2,158

    Default

    I believe this "not knowing the inner nooks and crannies" of INTP's has much to do with Ti. I've talked a lot about my frustrations with Fi in other people and it's unwillingness to open up and be honest and transparent. And it is frustrating. But, I must admit that just like an INFP doesn't really care to open up about their innermost feelings, I really don't care to open up about all of the mental projects that I'm engaging in. I do a lot of brainstorming/scribbling and recording of ideas (lots of notepads and random papers floating around) and if someone were to get a hold of those and go through them, I would feel really, really exposed and naked.

    If someone wants to talk about something I'm currently "thinking about"/pondering, I always love that. I'll talk about it with enthusiasm and continue to open up more according to how interested they seem, but it's very calculated. I'm not going to just bare it all. It's usually much too deep, complex, involves a ton of variables/inputs, etc. It would scare people away.

    I think INFP's and INTP's are similar in this way. Our leading functions (Fi/Ti) would have us "hold something back" from others, keeping our innermost workings fairly private. And I think this has much to do with why other types feel that there's some sort of wall there or that they aren't quite seeing everything.

    I don't think it's something for a potential mate to have anxiety over, it's just a matter of not really wanting to get into the complexity of it (because you likely won't understand all of it anyways), and also a feeling of possibly being judged for it. Plus, it's an introverted function for a reason - it just feels kind of strange/foreign having it exposed.

  10. #10
    The Architect Alwar's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    MBTI
    INTP
    Posts
    922

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Halfjillhalfjack View Post
    Has anyone experienced problems with getting to know _NTPs on a personal level in relationships?
    I know there might be a huge difference in ENTPs and INTPs....I'm not sure what mine is....
    sometimes I have the feeling I don't really know him at all....his thought etc. It's really strange, because we have a deep connection, I often feel like I don't know him........ doesn't ask too many personal questions....straaaange. because it's really great to talk to him, sometimes feels just like we're strangers....haha, guess I shouldn't spread it all out, this personal relationship blabla.
    just wanted to know if you have similar experiences. I didn't want to complain or anything....
    How old are you two and is this a new relationship? I always ask personal questions in a romantic relationships to make sure our principles and ideals are the same, but didn't when I was a teenager to 22ish. Maybe you haven't lowered his shields yet.

    There is a good post on why many INFJ's and INTP's often get a long well on another board that mentions some initial problems due to the reluctance to open up on both sides, but then it's great after the walls come down if I recall. Much of it seemed to apply to INFP-INTP as well. I'll post the text if I can find it.

Similar Threads

  1. Ne and Se-doms, do you have trouble with bios?
    By Qlip in forum Myers-Briggs and Jungian Cognitive Functions
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: 09-16-2015, 09:08 AM
  2. Replies: 1
    Last Post: 02-15-2012, 10:55 PM
  3. What Tips Do You Have to Get to Sleep At Night?
    By Taizic in forum The Bonfire
    Replies: 44
    Last Post: 11-23-2011, 07:35 PM
  4. [MBTItm] SPs, do you have any advice for an NF on how to better enjoy the "now"?
    By TheEmeraldCanopy in forum The SP Arthouse (ESFP, ISFP, ESTP, ISTP)
    Replies: 27
    Last Post: 06-19-2010, 11:02 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO