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  1. #11
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    Not in a relationship sense per se, but my experiences with ENTPs lead me to believe that they often don't want to delve into the personal side of things unless it's in the form of them venting. That's perfectly acceptable, but it's so contrary to my own mode of operation that it can be a bit strange--it can feel like it's a problem in getting to know them.

    In reality, it's me taking a wrong approach in attempting to get to know them. Or, it's an incompatibility. In any case, I shouldn't expect them to be any different than they are.

    Quote Originally Posted by INTPness View Post
    I think INFP's and INTP's are similar in this way. Our leading functions (Fi/Ti) would have us "hold something back" from others, keeping our innermost workings fairly private. And I think this has much to do with why other types feel that there's some sort of wall there or that they aren't quite seeing everything.

    I don't think it's something for a potential mate to have anxiety over, it's just a matter of not really wanting to get into the complexity of it (because you likely won't understand all of it anyways), and also a feeling of possibly being judged for it. Plus, it's an introverted function for a reason - it just feels kind of strange/foreign having it exposed.
    I have never heard this expressed and tied to MBTI in such a poignant way. So, good job!

  2. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by Halfjillhalfjack View Post
    Has anyone experienced problems with getting to know _NTPs on a personal level in relationships?
    No.

  3. #13
    Dreaming the life onemoretime's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by greed View Post
    Not in a relationship sense per se, but my experiences with ENTPs lead me to believe that they often don't want to delve into the personal side of things unless it's in the form of them venting
    This is true.

  4. #14
    Senior Member sculpting's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by INTPness View Post
    I believe this "not knowing the inner nooks and crannies" of INTP's has much to do with Ti. I've talked a lot about my frustrations with Fi in other people and it's unwillingness to open up and be honest and transparent. And it is frustrating. But, I must admit that just like an INFP doesn't really care to open up about their innermost feelings, I really don't care to open up about all of the mental projects that I'm engaging in. I do a lot of brainstorming/scribbling and recording of ideas (lots of notepads and random papers floating around) and if someone were to get a hold of those and go through them, I would feel really, really exposed and naked.

    If someone wants to talk about something I'm currently "thinking about"/pondering, I always love that. I'll talk about it with enthusiasm and continue to open up more according to how interested they seem, but it's very calculated. I'm not going to just bare it all. It's usually much too deep, complex, involves a ton of variables/inputs, etc. It would scare people away.

    I think INFP's and INTP's are similar in this way. Our leading functions (Fi/Ti) would have us "hold something back" from others, keeping our innermost workings fairly private. And I think this has much to do with why other types feel that there's some sort of wall there or that they aren't quite seeing everything.

    I don't think it's something for a potential mate to have anxiety over, it's just a matter of not really wanting to get into the complexity of it (because you likely won't understand all of it anyways), and also a feeling of possibly being judged for it. Plus, it's an introverted function for a reason - it just feels kind of strange/foreign having it exposed.
    That was fascinating and explains a lot about Ti. I cant talk about Fi most of the time. Even just telling someone what I feel can make me choke up a little. What I think? -well I am like a little bunny leaving rabbit droppings everywhere I go....thought....thought.....thought.....

    INTPs and I dont really connect-even though they like me. It's more mutual WTF that reaches the point of giggles and then we both just give up and accept each other, understanding we will never really understand.

    ENTPs are much harder, as on the surface it looks like we are in lockstep. A layer deep and the whole thing goes to utter shit. I cant show most ENTPs any Fi, they collapse in on themselves. They say things like "how can you be so sweet?" and they like to touch it, perhaps novelty or curiosity at its strangeness, but once they realize it is not Fe, and it backed up by a fiery Te, they withdraw. It is unpredictable?

    I still like ENTP women very much, and have a few ENTP male friends. However moving forward, I will likely consciously choose not to engage Ne style with new ENTPs IRL. The Fi rejection that always results is too painful to keep repeating. ENFPs already are weird, so to find someone you think understands you, then get shunned is really painful. This is likely me though.

  5. #15
    Badoom~ Skyward's Avatar
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    I just have a problem with approaching an ENTP female. She has a large 'mental penis' and tends to whack people with it if they make a logical error. Since I'm not a whiz with logic, it feels, much of the time, like I'm being whacked for no reason.

    I'm wary because I don't know which way my approach would be taken. She also seems quite private about her own things. Maybe I should just dump my Fe out with compliments and see how she reels in shock

    ( If anyone has any advice/ideas/information for this sort of thing, let me know through PM)

    My best friend since I was 10 was an INTP, we got to know each other because we were the oddballs in the class and liked to make stuff up. Where other kids would be on the playground playing tag, we would be in a secluded part, role-playing amusing things and turning reality into props for our imagination. Nowadays we do the same over the phone and play tabletop RPGs. There were times when things were rough for him (family in hard money times) and I wasn't very supportive, I feel guilty about that, but I wasn't very mature then. It didn't break our friendship at least.
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  6. #16
    Lungs & Lips Locked Unkindloving's Avatar
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    Hmm if my one friend is an INTP like i believe he is...
    We never dated, but trying to share thoughts and gain an understanding of each other was always clouded by his neglect of emotions and my abundance of them. I didn't have a good handle on my intensity, so i would combat all of his intense logic with this naive feeler craziness.
    Also, i would hesitate to inquire about certain topics. I was thought to be more introverted than not back then.

    Since then i have control over my intensity and we will both listen to each other. I've also abandoned a lot of hesitation over the past few years and say/ask what i want to.
    Can you think of any specifics that might be holding it back in your situation?
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  7. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by INTPness View Post

    But, I must admit that just like an INFP doesn't really care to open up about their innermost feelings, I really don't care to open up about all of the mental projects that I'm engaging in. I do a lot of brainstorming/scribbling and recording of ideas (lots of notepads and random papers floating around) and if someone were to get a hold of those and go through them, I would feel really, really exposed and naked.

    I think INFP's and INTP's are similar in this way. Our leading functions (Fi/Ti) would have us "hold something back" from others, keeping our innermost workings fairly private. And I think this has much to do with why other types feel that there's some sort of wall there or that they aren't quite seeing everything.

    I don't think it's something for a potential mate to have anxiety over, it's just a matter of not really wanting to get into the complexity of it (because you likely won't understand all of it anyways), and also a feeling of possibly being judged for it. Plus, it's an introverted function for a reason - it just feels kind of strange/foreign having it exposed.
    Thank you for posting this, it explains everything and with such clarity.
    Agree with it all .

    On the actual topic I've never got to really know INTPs but I've seen two INTPs recently last month at a gathering but not enough to give any input.
    What is Feeling?
    Feeling is primarily a process.....that imparts to the content a definite value in the sense of acceptance or rejection. In the same way that thinking organizes the contents of consciousness under concepts, feeling arranges them according to their value. Feeling, like thinking, is a rational function, since values in general are assigned according to the laws of reason...
    (Carl Jung, Psychological Types, Chapter XI - Definitions)

  8. #18
    Habitual Fi LineStepper JocktheMotie's Avatar
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    I find my experience to be along the lines of Lauren Ashley's post than Orangeappled's, in terms of my reactions to NFs. A tendency to be belligerent? Really? I find that to be very bizarre, as is the idea that INTPs can't help but just spew their emotions onto INFPs because of some sort of instant connection.

    Not discounting your experience. Just saying it's puzzling and doesn't align with my own.



  9. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by Happy Puppy View Post
    ENTPs are much harder, as on the surface it looks like we are in lockstep. A layer deep and the whole thing goes to utter shit. I cant show most ENTPs any Fi, they collapse in on themselves. They say things like "how can you be so sweet?" and they like to touch it, perhaps novelty or curiosity at its strangeness, but once they realize it is not Fe, and it backed up by a fiery Te, they withdraw. It is unpredictable?

    However moving forward, I will likely consciously choose not to engage Ne style with new ENTPs IRL. The Fi rejection that always results is too painful to keep repeating.
    I think you should write more about this Happy Puppy! Like a blog just for this or a manual! I don't quite understand what you are referring to by how Fi seems to be the poison pill in your ENTP-ENFP interactions and what "Ne style" is.
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