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  1. #501
    Lay the coin on my tongue SilkRoad's Avatar
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    So you do have an omniscient perspective we're not aware of.
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  2. #502
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    Quote Originally Posted by SilkRoad View Post
    So you do have an omniscient perspective we're not aware of.
    again, if you want to represent your side with a little dignity and treat INFJs who have doorslammed people as indeviduals you might want to avoid the word "we"... there are INFJs who are capable of rational thinking and do not view it as an omniscient perspective.

  3. #503
    Lay the coin on my tongue SilkRoad's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mane View Post
    again, if you want to represent your side with a little dignity and treat INFJs who have doorslammed people as indeviduals you might want to avoid the word "we"... there are INFJs who are capable of rational thinking and do not view it as an omniscient perspective.
    Ok. I am saying, from my personal perspective, that you are acting as though you can read minds and can discern the ins and outs of dozens/hundreds/thousands of individual situations that you know nothing about.

    Also, if you wanted to treat us with respect and as individuals, you might have wanted to avoid (in your initial lengthy post in this thread) informing "you INFJs" en masse that this is "our ugliest fucking side." Little bit of a blanket statement, don't you think?
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  4. #504
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    Quote Originally Posted by SilkRoad View Post
    Ok. I am saying, from my personal perspective, that you are acting as though you can read minds and can discern the ins and outs of dozens/hundreds/thousands of individual situations that you know nothing about.
    i am "acting as though" i understand that by doorslamming someone you are limiting a critical source of information about your decision and causeses for doorslamming from accessing your mind - the other person's side. the reason i can know your doing so is because it's intrisitct to the action itself. like i said, if your not doing that - if your not blocking off communication from them, i don't even consider that a doorslam.

    and your right about that - that wasn't my best choice of words.

  5. #505
    Lay the coin on my tongue SilkRoad's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mane View Post
    i am "acting as though" i understand that by doorslamming someone you are limiting a critical source of information about your decision and causeses for doorslamming from accessing your mind - the other person's side. the reason i can know your doing so is because it's intrisitct to the action itself. like i said, if your not doing that - if your not blocking off communication from them, i don't even consider that a doorslam.

    and your right about that - that wasn't my best choice of words.

    And it seems you feel that limiting your intake of information is always bad? Now we may be getting somewhere. I think this is something that you are going to find INFJs frequently/usually disagree with you on.

    Yeah, I could see that as P vs J (in part), actually.
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  6. #506
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    Quote Originally Posted by SilkRoad View Post
    And it seems you feel that limiting your intake of information is always bad? Now we may be getting somewhere. I think this is something that you are going to find INFJs frequently/usually disagree with you on.
    you can never actually know if it's bad to not know it or not until you have the information.

    let's say i'm trialing someone for assault, and i think that shows me the person is violent and should be locked away, and i might have thought very hard about that, but there's evidance that the person they assualted was actually holding a gun against their family and demanding their wallet, but as far as i know at the time the extra bit of information might be anything, it might be that the assault took place in a candy store, which would be ireleavent. do i stick firm to my decision based on the information i already had, or do i give leeway to the new information so i might be able to reeveluate my choices better? when is stubborness in the face of potential new information ever a good idea?

    when is doing all of these:

    a reasonable course of action?

  7. #507
    Lay the coin on my tongue SilkRoad's Avatar
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    Yes. I take your illustration on board, I think.

    However, allowing new evidence doesn't normally go on forever, does it? There comes a time when a decision has to be made...

    What I am saying is that I (as an INFJ - a bit different for different types, no doubt) cannot take in new information indefinitely, especially if doing so is placing me in a position which is consistently exhausting, demoralizing, draining, potentially dangerous...etc. Eventually there will be a cutoff point.
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  8. #508

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    One of the biggest problems with door slamming, is that it very easily leads to miscommunication. Time goes by and then both sides have to guess and make assumptions, many of which are false or incorrect. All of this leads to problems and the spreading of misinformation.

    The erros of fact my infj has made after the fact due to self isolation is pretty staggering. The more time that goes by and less check ins the more the errors of fact and miscommunication, self absorption, and believing the worst.

  9. #509
    4x9 cascadeco's Avatar
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    Esoteric brought this up, but to expect an IxxJ to continuously 'float' without requiring and working towards closure is the same as expecting an ExxP to reach definitive decision points/closure as a lifestyle. The two will always have inherently different approaches: it's what makes them vastly different. For myself, I don't 'expect' ExxP's to become like me.. it's just not fair to them and also would take away what makes them THEM. I also would only be with an ExxP if they were ok with how my primary preferences were: and I with them. The success between the two will only occur if both are in the end not trying to morph the other into someone they are not.
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  10. #510
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    Quote Originally Posted by SilkRoad View Post
    Yes. I take your illustration on board, I think.

    However, allowing new evidence doesn't normally go on forever, does it?
    ...actually yes it does, cases can be reopened with new evidance and brought back to courts...
    (not to go offtopic but that's the main argument against the death panelty - difficult to revoke it).
    what's different from country to country it can be done passively (allowing new information to be brought forth) or actively (reopening cases every several years to examine them)...

    there's a reason that those systems are in place - a public decision making system has to acknowlege its own humility and capacity to make mistakes and is under a lot of social pressure to prove that its decisions are fair, or it risks public scandals in which the new information is given to the press instead and the system can loose it's legitimacy in the public eye.

    you are under little to no such pressure for humility and fairness in your decision making, only the golden rule and curtesy.

    edit: a.k.a. what @BalanceFind said.

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