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Thread: Shutting myself off ... and becoming a jerk

  1. #21
    Senior Member Array toast's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2009


    Quote Originally Posted by monocycle View Post
    I don't know what it is. Most people would describe me as passive, friendly, caring, and supportive. I don't feel like that at all anymore.
    Maybe its being passive that's stressing you. I don't know but the "google" example reminds me of how I get when I am tired of walking on eggshells. I suppose as an I, you may not have the same dynamic to this... I have to be careful about nearly everything I say with some people, because even when I am saying something fairly "gentle" to me, the intensity of how I say it seems to crush people... Its like I have some aura of judgment about me, and I have to watch it. After too much of this checking what I say & how I say it, I get this uncontrollable floating hostility that can be triggered by anything. Impatience like you described seems to be at its core. There are a few people who I can be around when this happens, because they are the ones who I don't really have to watch myself around in the first place, & then they can handle it when I am in your position.

    It doesn't happen very often, but when it does it is just as you described. I also avoid these people for a while after I feel better, like I'm turned off to them. I think maybe a part of that is an anxiety that they will expect more from me cause I "dissed" them, or that they will simply act awkward... but it just feels like I have no interest in seeing them.

    I usually just tell them I am stressed & busy, which never really feels dishonest. Eventually they come around again & things are fine & I feel renewed. I don't believe I've ever permanently lost friendships because of it.

  2. #22
    にゃん Array runvardh's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    6w7 sx/so


    I'd probably try to get rid of the Fi doms and work on feeling less guilty about it over time. The ENFP on the other hand, maybe you just need a break more often than you think.
    Dreams are best served manifest and tangible.

    INFP, 6w7, IEI

    I accept no responsibility, what so ever, for the fact that I exist; I do, however, accept full responsibility for what I do while I exist.

  3. #23
    Senior Member Array alexx's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2008


    Been here that's for sure. It was in my mid-20's. I ended up distancing myself from anyone who annoyed me or tried to deal with them in small doses.

    Eventually I got over it. It was a stage thing going from "the nice girl" getting walked on to just having enough of everything and growling for a while.

    It passed.

    89% Extroverted ~ 68% Intuition ~ 84% Feeling ~ 89% Perceiving
    Enneagram: 2w1 SO/SP Socionics: ENFp
    Cognitive Process
    Se 30.4% Si 19.1% - Ne 38.4% Ni 26.4% - Te 23.1% Ti 20% - Fe 46.4% Fi 35.8%
    Sanguine | Phlegmatic
    Right Brain Dominant

  4. #24


    it feels so yesterday, its helpful to remember these things.

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