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Thread: INFJ + ENFP = Transcendental Romance. INFJ + ESTJ = Duality. Any thoughts?

  1. #111
    Diving into Ni-space Array Crescent Fresh's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2011


    Quote Originally Posted by fidelia View Post
    I like ENFPs but find that they have a habit of collecting more people than they have time to maintain friendships with. Every now and then they tend to clean house. They are very outwardly warm with acquaintances and friends, which can make you feel closer than you really are. Therefore they sometimes they have a tendancy to seem...fickle, even though I think they are sincere. They also do seem to like having some internal space that is private and to themselves - more than you might initially see. I also find the Fe (INFJ) vs Fi (ENFP) can sometimes be a challenge. However, I like them and think they're interesting, fun, great people.

    I wish I had bumped into this thread earlier, everything is spot-on here.

  2. #112
    Rape Holess Array Starry's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2010
    7w6 sx/sp


    ^^while I don't deny that there (must be) are ENFPs that actively seek-out new friends (collecting people)...I, myself, have not witnessed this irl. What I have often observed, however, is other people 'collecting' the ENFP...and then the ENFP becoming subject to that new relationship because of an inability to say 'no'. And I think this is where the 'cleaning house' comes from.

    fwiw - I do think this is why I find myself attracted to INxJ...because I don't feel like I am being 'collected'. I do not feel like I am somehow becoming someone's source of entertainment or a 'project'. I feel like I am being seen for all my layers...and as an intellegent person. Not some sort of trained monkey.

  3. #113
    Member Array Tofu562's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2009


    I like meeting new people, but I stick around my core of close friends most of the time.

  4. #114
    In orbit Array
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    4w3 sx


    Quote Originally Posted by LadyJaye View Post
    A person will show up immediately on my radar, but I need time to assess them before I move in on their space, or let them move into mine. And, it has been my experience that INFJ's tend to keep their distance too - like they have to be sure I won't mangle them or something. But, then they pounce without warning. It's always a surprise, and I'm never sure what I said or did that finally made them feel safe enough to jump on me.
    I haven't read the whole thread but this would be an apt description. My husband who turned out to be ENFP (once I managed to catch him in flight and glued him to the computer seat to do various tests to humor me) and I met at a bar and it was love at first sight. I saw him and my inner voice said "That's your future husband". He stopped in his tracks to stare at me and apparently had decided he was going to marry me. I had come there to work though, so I had to postpone this inevitable meeting. He kind of sneakily circled around me observing and then made a subtle move coming to chat me up about what I was doing. I was a little dismissive as I really had to work first. I knew he wasn't going anywhere and he knew I was "in the bag".. ;D When I finished he was sitting at a table with some girls admittedly to make me jealous. It was so obvious what was going to happen though that I just marched there and said "Looks like you need company" He said "I've got company" pointing out to some really fetching girls at his table. There were no more seats at the table. I said "Not the right company" and said "Scoot over" and sat on half of his seat. He just laughed and we were like meatballs and spaghetti ever since. Been married four years now. We've had maybe three or so fights and generally only because of stressful outside situations like bills and other things neither are too great at handling, but I can't say that anything in his personality bothers me. I just really enjoy his company. I only get moapy if he's away for too long doing favors for everyone, as he does tend to bring out people's incompetence and his phone rings constantly. It irks me. And there was a problem with me using the slightly passive aggressive sarcastic tone with him. He had really no problem with my grievance, but with the delivery. I try to remember to be extra sensitive and loving in my delivery if I have to "have talks". He does get enough of people being unfairly critical for mistaking his genuine attempts as something else. The most infuriating memory to me was two of his family members criticizing him for not giving them an actionplan in advance (which I know all too well he actually does not have. No plan-Action! He's already excecuting the plan as it comes, perhaps) they said "That's our ***, always larger than life!" and rolling their eyes. I was fuming! I just thank god someone is a little larger than life!!!

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