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  1. #621
    Senior Member substitute's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CzeCze View Post
    Perhaps you just happen to know a lot of immature ENFP types? Perhaps it's the skittish nature of Fi when presented with "a threat". Perhaps it's a common issue with ENTP vs ENFP relations?
    Nah, I think it's just that you're a particularly well rounded ENFP. Like jen said, I think there are a few on this forum who have become more well rounded, maybe because they get the growth opportunities here that they might not get elsewhere.

    What is it the Enneagram says about those "health levels" of the different types? It's a scale, can't remember what to what, but say it's 1 to 5, with 5 being the most mature and wise and awesome form of that type and 1 being the most immature, brattish and screwed up form - they reckon most people are at about level 2 or 3 these days and it's only the much much older ones or the ones who've used psychology/typology for self-improvement who've got anywhere near 4 or 5.

    Sorry, like I said my Si sucks!
    Ils se d�merdent, les mecs: trop bon, trop con..................................MY BLOG!

    "When it all comes down to dust
    I will kill you if I must
    I will help you if I can" - Leonard Cohen

  2. #622
    RETIRED CzeCze's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lauren Ashley View Post
    The ENTP's Fe is a salve for interpersonal friction, while the ENFP's Fi seems rigid and unyielding.
    I can agree with the salt of truth in this.

    Fe makes it easier for ENTPs to get along with people regardless of how they actually 'feel' about the person or situation. It's a light kinda of "whateva, let's just have a round and move past this" kind of energy.

    The irony is, ENFPs in general probably "care" a lot more about the actual issues at hand causing the friction. Fi doms can't act light and cheery and fun when a situation is really hitting our values - to do so would be fake.

    Actually, this is a sore point for me. I don't understand why ENFPs get slammed for "trying to make everything better" and "glossing over friction" and then when ENTPs do it they score brownie points for being 'team players' and 'suprisingly gracious'.

    I think it's because there are different expectations and even stereotypes associated with being an NT or an NF.

    Beyond cognitive functions, the ability to be cheerful and even charismatic and make people 'forget their troubles' and 'move past things' is in itself a neutral thing.

    There are times when you shouldn't move past things, when people shouldn't necessarily feel hunky-dory about things - that's what Fi is about. I guess it's funny that I hear criticism that ENFPs want to always gloss over conflict and then I hear the criticism that ENFPs want to say within conflict.

    So yeah, sometimes Fi probably does feel unyielding. I know people have expected me to be a lot "nicer" and "more loving" in certain situations and because I totally did not approve of what was going on, I was anything but.

    There is a time for levity and for leaving a situation for later, but it irks me to no end when people try to blow off interpersonal conflict because they can't be bothered or don't care personally about the matter at hand. It's really easy to make things light and get people to "move on" when you yourself have no emotional or other investment in what's going on.
    “If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you.” ― Oscar Wilde

    "I'm outtie 5000" ― Romulux

    Johari/Nohari

  3. #623
    Senior Member BlahBlahNounBlah's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ergophobe View Post
    In my experience ... ENTPs come off as less dramatic and attached than they really are. Your last sentence rings true - they really do seem to be more frustrated and upset than they let on.

    ^
    Likes Alassea liked this post

  4. #624
    half mystic, half skeksis jenocyde's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CzeCze View Post
    There are times when you shouldn't move past things, when people shouldn't necessarily feel hunky-dory about things - that's what Fi is about.
    I agree with much of your post, but to be fair, I must mention that not everything is a problem. I feel like I have to carefully watch every single word I say and how I say it, so there are no problems perceived. And me being a prickish ENTP, there are bound to be hurt feelings. I try though. I just wish my irl ENFP friends also tried a bit harder to just hear what I say at face value without searching for hidden meanings. Believe me, I say exactly what's on my mind, nothing is hidden.

  5. #625
    half mystic, half skeksis jenocyde's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ergophobe View Post
    ENTPs come off as less dramatic and attached than they really are. Your last sentence rings true - they really do seem to be more frustrated and upset than they let on.
    Yes! I get frustrated and upset, I just don't always want to indulge in that feeling so I let it go. It's not productive.

  6. #626
    Senior Member BlahBlahNounBlah's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jenocyde View Post
    I agree with much of your post, but to be fair, I must mention that not everything is a problem. I feel like I have to carefully watch every single word I say and how I say it, so there are no problems perceived. And me being a prickish ENTP, there are bound to be hurt feelings. I try though. I just wish my irl ENFP friends also tried a bit harder to just hear what I say at face value without searching for hidden meanings. Believe me, I say exactly what's on my mind, nothing is hidden.

    The reading between the lines wouldn't bother me if it was consistent.

  7. #627
    Senior Member BlahBlahNounBlah's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jenocyde View Post
    Yes! I get frustrated and upset, I just don't always want to indulge in that feeling so I let it go. It's not productive.


    Seconding this. I don't see the point in it.

  8. #628
    Revelation Lauren Ashley's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ergophobe View Post
    In my experience (small N =3 - fair disclosure seemed in order since I raised this point), ENTPs come off as less dramatic and attached than they really are. Your last sentence rings true - they really do seem to be more frustrated and upset than they let on.
    The ENTPs I know sure seem dramatic when they are debating. This ENTP I know starts waving his arms in the air and gets this crazy look in his eyes whenever he debates philosophy.

  9. #629
    Senior Member BlahBlahNounBlah's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lauren Ashley View Post
    The ENTPs I know sure seem dramatic when they are debating. This ENTP I know starts waving his arms in the air and gets this crazy look in his eyes whenever he debates philosophy.


    That's different!

  10. #630
    Allergic to Mornings ergophobe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CzeCze View Post
    The irony is, ENFPs in general probably "care" a lot more about the actual issues at hand causing the friction. Fi doms can't act light and cheery and fun when a situation is really hitting our values - to do so would be fake.

    Actually, this is a sore point for me. I don't understand why ENFPs get slammed for "trying to make everything better" and "glossing over friction" and then when ENTPs do it they score brownie points for being 'team players' and 'suprisingly gracious'.
    I think the problem may arise for both types for not knowing there is friction until it is brought up. Once it is brought to ENFPs' attention, I agree, ENFPs do care deeply about the issues/values and thier own values include egalitarianism and respect for other people so it makes sense that they would acknowledge and remedy their own failings in this respect.


    So yeah, sometimes Fi probably does feel unyielding. I know people have expected me to be a lot "nicer" and "more loving" in certain situations and because I totally did not approve of what was going on, I was anything but.
    Stop living my life, NOW! Please?

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