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  1. #21
    You have a choice! 21%'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by KiwiBurst View Post
    What are "emotional needs"? What are examples of some?
    I can only speak for myself. My "emotional needs" include my partner letting me in on his true feelings, my partner listening to me and validating my feelings (not just brushing them aside and saying "Don't feel bad. You think too much"), being sensitive enough to my mood changes (so that he can sense if I'm upset without me telling him outright), being interested in how I feel about things and willing to discuss his own feelings about them, and also understanding what I need to feel loved and appreciated

  2. #22
    Professional Trickster Esoteric Wench's Avatar
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    ESFP. Ugh. Starts out great. Then when I get tired of having "fun" and want to get down to serious matters (I don't mean a relationship commitment. I just mean talking about the meaning of life or other esoteric topics), I realized we were on different planets.

    So now I have fun with my ESFP friends. But I wouldn't date one, and don't expect to have any long theoretical conversations with them.

  3. #23
    morose bourgeoisie
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    I was married to an ISTJ. It wasn't a disaster, but things got in the way anyway. It wasn't her fault.

  4. #24
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    I used to think I had an issue with S but I am realising I dont, if I like the brain, I can be with anyone- maybe not an extreme S. I am an extreme EN and borderline FP and TJ- I switch between ENFP in personal and ENTJ in professional (trained myself) lives so can handle those elements but its the S element that bothers me. Am with a borderline S/N now and so far, touchwood though as an ENFP-ISTJ, we have some very tricky moments!

  5. #25
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    I've never been very successful in the area of relationships. (Am still not.) But, I did have brief relationships with an ESFP and an ENTP.

    The ESFP guy was very sweet, but way too needy and posessive. He also didn't find what the fun was in being eccentric. I always felt like I had to be overtly normal with him...Which is not fun at all!!

    ENTP guy, we didn't last past the end of the day he asked me out. Apparently, he changed his mind because he had just got out of two bad relationships and didn't want to launch into another...then, he texted me about a month later to excitedly announce to me that he had a new girlfriend. <_<

    At the moment, I am so, deathly attracted to another INFP that it almost makes me ill. Not just physically, but I have this emotional thing for him. Even if he looked like a completely different person, but had the same personality, I would still be head over heels for him. And I can tell he likes me too, but we're both too reserved and nervous to move forward about it, so I can already tell it won't work.

    It was said earlier that NT's and NF's shouldn't be paired together. I somewhat agree. I find NTP's very physically attractive, and they're great to have as friends. But, when it all comes down to it, I don't think I could hold out in a relationship with one for too long. I think too many details would dominate. (Although, I can also be wary about my past 'experience'...if it was even that, with an ENTP.)

  6. #26
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    mostly I's and P's have trouble with IP's the most due to rarely being sure and rarely letting people know anything about them.

  7. #27
    Junior Member Poggle's Avatar
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    As lovers, other ENFP's are the worst. No really, two ENFP's should never ever date.

    The worst part is that it *seems* brilliant at the time. At last here is a girl who understands the rubbish I speak, who can read my feelings as quickly as I can read hers, with whom there will never be any misunderstandings, who will sit on my cloud with me...

    ...right up until the point that it's suddenly a disaster. Because you can't have a relationship with no misunderstandings, with no opportunity - ever - to sneak a feeling past your loved one, where everything you feel is spotted whether or not you want it to be, were you have no opportunity to simply be...

    ...but the very worst of it is that one partner will discover this before the other and then (obviously) end it, but then (suddenly) they won't be able to explain why to the other in a way the other understands, because the other will still be stuck to the dream.

    But the guilt and the heartbreak - regardless of who ends it - they will be shared.

    As friends and colleagues, however, other ENFP's are the best, for the all the reasons above. As friends and colleagues it's the TJ's that nark me off with their cold uncaring logical thoughts....

  8. #28
    Junior Member myriah's Avatar
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    I tend to date ESTPs. Our relationships always start out great and then things suddenly fall apart spectacularly towards the end. Siiigh.

  9. #29
    i love skylights's Avatar
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    i've discovered that i prefer to date Js because i am so P myself. the right kind of J helps me to make decisions i feel secure in, and i really appreciate that about them.

    oh, and looking back, i tend to date NFs. interesting.

    Quote Originally Posted by Poggle
    As lovers, other ENFP's are the worst. No really, two ENFP's should never ever date.

    The worst part is that it *seems* brilliant at the time..
    this. this this this. i didn't know about typology at the time, haha. and our likeness was both our source of great happiness and our ultimate doom (DUN DUN DUN). my biggest problem was that i didn't feel like there was any grounding in the relationship. neither of us were particularly rational or particularly organized, and i ended up being the more rational and organized one - not to mention more committed. i'm a big fan of compromise, but being responsible for both of us was both restricting and draining, and the extra effort wasn't really reciprocated on my SO's part. suffice it to say we are much better as friends.

    i have a lot of trouble seeing myself in a relationship with an INTP too, because i have 2 in my immediate family. and while i know and love their wily ways, they tend to always think they're right, and are rather blunt. i kind of like to be finessed. also i would have 3 INTPs around me all the time and that is A LOT of INTP.

    so far, my favorite = ENFJ

    i also had a brief thing with an INFP which was incredibly sweet and fun but also a little too removed-from-real-life for me. we never had anything "official", though, and we didn't break up so much as just fade. i definitely still miss that sometimes.

  10. #30
    Senior Member Chloe's Avatar
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    I had relationship wish few INTs, and all of them were bad. Actually 1 was ISTP too.
    In general ITs, especially INTs, are bad combo for me. Despite what MBTI says, I usually found them too detached and as result boring, and we didnt care about same stuff at all. They were not into having fun at all. Maybe it was just my expirience, I am sure INTs, INTPs ex can be very fun and all.. but my expirience was that they were boring to me. My top 4 priorities are : fun loving, empathic,loyal person with integrity--> I am pretty sure my perfect match could be EF, EsFj, EsFP, ENFP, ENFJ.... I could see all of it work.. especially one particular ESFJ but he's nothing like stereotypes

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