Mal12345
Permabanned
- Joined
- Apr 19, 2011
- Messages
- 14,532
- MBTI Type
- IxTP
- Enneagram
- 5w4
- Instinctual Variant
- sx/sp
If you're a dom or aux Fe type, you may have a problem that you're not even aware of: inauthenticity, which I loosely define as putting on an act for others, or being what others want you to be - or as my Fe-aux father explained it to me, putting on a front, a "personality" as he called it, which was something he highly recommended that I do.
Not only do you Fe types want to conform to others' social values, you want to be the best at it because (in 'Murica) that is also a social value. This seems to be a win/win living strategy because everybody benefits. You benefit when you conform to social values and are rewarded for it; others benefit because you often strive to put your best foot forward.
But you're lying. And inwardly, somewhere deep down, you know you're lying. Always and consistently putting your best foot forward makes you look good, really good. You may even be a pillar of your community. My ISFJ father was widely celebrated in his circles as a great guy. He would brag to me about how the judge let him off of his DUI charge because the judge said he's a great guy. And if I want the same special treatment then I need to be just like him when I grow up, invisible warts and all.
My Fe-aux father was not all that he was cracked up to be. He was living a lie, and in many ways that was also acceptable because all these other Fe types running society were also lying in pretty much the same ways, and still are. And he was never exposed because they rarely are. The judge let him off of the hook for a DUI. Society protects its own.
This isn't a thread about my father, it's about types who live a lie but find shelter behind society's rules. This is about the Fe function.
Not only do you Fe types want to conform to others' social values, you want to be the best at it because (in 'Murica) that is also a social value. This seems to be a win/win living strategy because everybody benefits. You benefit when you conform to social values and are rewarded for it; others benefit because you often strive to put your best foot forward.
But you're lying. And inwardly, somewhere deep down, you know you're lying. Always and consistently putting your best foot forward makes you look good, really good. You may even be a pillar of your community. My ISFJ father was widely celebrated in his circles as a great guy. He would brag to me about how the judge let him off of his DUI charge because the judge said he's a great guy. And if I want the same special treatment then I need to be just like him when I grow up, invisible warts and all.
My Fe-aux father was not all that he was cracked up to be. He was living a lie, and in many ways that was also acceptable because all these other Fe types running society were also lying in pretty much the same ways, and still are. And he was never exposed because they rarely are. The judge let him off of the hook for a DUI. Society protects its own.
This isn't a thread about my father, it's about types who live a lie but find shelter behind society's rules. This is about the Fe function.