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  1. #101
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lateralus View Post
    Assigning emotions is a great debate strategy.
    Like eyerolling? Agreed!


    Under what authority? Is there some central governing body that legislates the definitions of words?
    I'm in tight with the OED. SHHH!!

    Definitions are not created to make people feel good, they're arrived at as a natural part of communication. Their purpose it to facilitate the transmission of an idea, nothing more.
    Lateralus, you just defined "definition".

    I love it.
    eNFJ 4w3 sx/so 468 tritype
    Neutral Good
    EII-Fi subtype, Ethical/Empath, Delta/Beta
    RLUEI, Choleric/Melancholic
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    Researcher: VDI-P
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  2. #102
    Senior Member Lateralus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PinkPiranha View Post
    Lateralus, you just defined "definition".

    I love it.
    Actually, I explained its origin and purpose, which isn't the same as a defining.

  3. #103
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    Quote Originally Posted by Littlelostnf View Post
    When INTP's find someone to share their lives with who truly gets them. It's amazing how much they want their partner to truly understand them...and that my friend is not easy for everyone to do. It's not explicit demands they are implicit.
    Okay, yeah you are quite right. We do place a very high expectation on our mate to "understand" us. I've had to learn this lesson very hard. I don't expect to have to explain things out, but no one is a mindreader.

    Still, you like that? That "floats your boat"?

    What else is an extreme demand by the INTP?

    Quote Originally Posted by PinkPiranha View Post
    Explain.

    Detached observer, in ideology. I stand four-square to that assertion. Try as you might, if you ever have the misfortune of falling for ENFJ, just try to stay on the fringe. I defy you. I defy your 'science', your 'detachment', your 'objectivity'. Once the catalyst hits your surface, kiss your ideology good-bye. Everything will burn away and take new shape. Go ahead. Try and stop it. I can't stop it either.
    Sure, but that fire doesn't last years, does it? Do you (or does he) lose identity? INTPs are quite independent.

    Quote Originally Posted by PinkPiranha View Post
    I'm turbulent. I can't help it. I really can't. I don't know what's wrong with me. I've been this way from the word 'go'. I don't go out for turbulence, but - I don't know. It's a point of deep sadness and mortification for me. Maybe you have to feel some measure of safety to be calm? To stop bucking? I'm trying to learn. But even on my good days, when I'm all right, I'm still feeling the lava moving around under the skin. My sisters and friends say I'm a wild animal and always will be. Is that bad? Because I can't turn it off.
    That does sound a bit exhausting. I don't mind emotion directed towards me in the context of a relationship, but I don't want to talk someone down off the ledge all the time because of the external world.

    Quote Originally Posted by Littlelostnf View Post
    Strong ones don't run..they embrace a fire that doesn't burn...Lava creates new lands on which to plant all sorts of amazing things.
    Sounds good, how often is that true?

    Quote Originally Posted by Tallulah View Post
    Honestly, I think I'd rather have a soulmate than a mindmate. I enjoy meeting people whose brain works like mine, but it doesn't naturally inspire passion in me.
    Mindmates is a bit more than that. I can get along intellectually with more people than the rare mindmate. The passion is there in those cases. Sometimes not willingly.

    Quote Originally Posted by Sunshine8 View Post
    Challenging, energetic without being too intense, space for each person to be themselves, a call to stand as equals - not some prince or princess, a feeling of growth (even if is bought about through conflict at times), a sense of respect for the other person's abilities, a sense of depth - long term prospects for fulfillment on both sides.
    I like that.

  4. #104
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lateralus View Post
    Actually, I explained its origin and purpose, which isn't the same as a defining.
    Hey, Edahn! It's getting all existential in here and you're not even involved. How does that make you feel?
    eNFJ 4w3 sx/so 468 tritype
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  5. #105
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MacGuffin View Post
    Okay, yeah you are quite right. We do place a very high expectation on our mate to "understand" us. I've had to learn this lesson very hard. I don't expect to have to explain things out, but no one is a mindreader.
    How great would it be to just think something and have them know it? I have something like that with my twin and I take it for granted.


    What else is an extreme demand by the INTP?
    By them? I thought the discussion was about what was a demand ON them? I was hoping you were going to say something along those lines.


    Sure, but that fire doesn't last years, does it?
    Yes, it does. It's the nature of the Fe-beast.


    Do you (or does he) lose identity? INTPs are quite independent.
    Here's a matter I was just discussing with Sis last night. The recurring fear by the INTP that they'll be consumed somehow or lose identity. That's not what happens, because quite frankly, I hold onto my identity with an iron grip too, and resent any dilution. Do INTPs pick partners, then, based on the idea that this person hits the "mind" marks but will never "own" the INTP on any level?

    That does sound a bit exhausting. I don't mind emotion directed towards me in the context of a relationship, but I don't want to talk someone down off the ledge all the time because of the external world.
    That's not me, either. And who would want to be around that?


    Mindmates is a bit more than that. I can get along intellectually with more people than the rare mindmate. The passion is there in those cases. Sometimes not willingly.
    So this doesn't happen often?
    eNFJ 4w3 sx/so 468 tritype
    Neutral Good
    EII-Fi subtype, Ethical/Empath, Delta/Beta
    RLUEI, Choleric/Melancholic
    Inquistive/Limbic
    AIS Holland code
    Researcher: VDI-P
    Dramatic>Sensitive>Serious

  6. #106
    Plumage and Moult proteanmix's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PinkPiranha View Post
    That's not me, either. And who would want to be around that?
    That's kinda the impression I got, that you are very strongly expressive and feel everything intensely and I can't help but wonder how that translates into reality. When I've encountered people like that IRL they tend to overwhelm. I'm just wondering how other people view that part of you.

    I am a little concerned that people are going to get the impression that all ENFJs are like that. I know I can be excitable and I'm not ashamed of that, but I wouldn't say that I'm always in an internally heightened state or walk around with my skin turned inside out. How do you deal with being choppy inside for so much of the time?
    Relationships have normal ebbs and flows. They do not automatically get better and better when the participants learn more and more about each other. Instead, the participants have to work through the tensions of the relationship (the dialectic) while they learn and group themselves and a parties in a relationships. At times the relationships is very open and sharing. Other time, one or both parties to the relationship need their space, or have other concerns, and the relationship is less open. The theory posits that these cycles occur throughout the life of the relationship as the persons try to balance their needs for privacy and open relationship.
    Interpersonal Communication Theories and Concepts
    Social Penetration Theory 1
    Social Penetration Theory 2
    Social Penetration Theory 3

  7. #107
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    Quote Originally Posted by PinkPiranha View Post
    How great would it be to just think something and have them know it? I have something like that with my twin and I take it for granted.
    Never known that.

    Quote Originally Posted by PinkPiranha View Post
    By them? I thought the discussion was about what was a demand ON them? I was hoping you were going to say something along those lines.
    The Nin quote was about "choose{ing} a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me". Making enormous demands on others is a demand on the INTP. We'd rather be off in our heads.

    Fe is quite a demand. I find it delicious, but I'd need time to recharge. It's still extraversion.

    Ne is a better way to get more interaction from the INTP. Brainstorm!

    Quote Originally Posted by PinkPiranha View Post
    Yes, it does. It's the nature of the Fe-beast.
    *lights match*

    Quote Originally Posted by PinkPiranha View Post
    Here's a matter I was just discussing with Sis last night. The recurring fear by the INTP that they'll be consumed somehow or lose identity. That's not what happens, because quite frankly, I hold onto my identity with an iron grip too, and resent any dilution. Do INTPs pick partners, then, based on the idea that this person hits the "mind" marks but will never "own" the INTP on any level?
    No, but that fear does exist. I think immature INTPs would probably look for someone that only hits on the mind. They'll realize their mistake eventually.

    Quote Originally Posted by PinkPiranha View Post
    That's not me, either. And who would want to be around that?
    Okay good. But is it okay if you were to get wound up about something, and the guy left the room, came back and doused you with a fire extinguisher? Not that it would solve anything, but because it would be hilariously funny.

    Quote Originally Posted by PinkPiranha View Post
    So this doesn't happen often?
    Often? Probably about as often as your fusion. Though you increase your chances by changing environments.

  8. #108
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by proteanmix View Post
    That's kinda the impression I got, that you are very strongly expressive and feel everything intensely and I can't help but wonder how that translates into reality. When I've encountered people like that IRL they tend to overwhelm. I'm just wondering how other people view that part of you.
    I'm intense. Not loud, or mean, or humorless. I've never had someone step back from me fearfully, if that's what you mean? I won't lie and say that I'm not wound tight. I am. But I'm also deeply loyal, funny, and kind. I off-set my intensity with humor and friendliness. I can control my emotions coming *out* - I just can't control them coming *in* which is incredibly frustrating.


    I am a little concerned that people are going to get the impression that all ENFJs are like that. I know I can be excitable and I'm not ashamed of that, but I wouldn't say that I'm always in an internally heightened state or walk around with my skin turned inside out.
    I'm bringing down the property values? *jest*

    I don't represent ENFJs as a whole. Just myself. I relate to Wolfmaiden's intensity a lot, though she posts as an INFJ. I relate to Disregard's intensity and she posts as INFP. Neither of these people are mean or out of control.

    How do you deal with being choppy inside for so much of the time?
    I spend a lot of time alone. Or I crack jokes with my dad or sister. They naturally lighten my mood. Or I just sit quietly and process through my thoughts/impressions until they achieve a balance.

    I think I wouldn't be so choppy if there wasn't always some nasty storm whipping the water up. I'd like calm. What little I've had of it is Nirvana.

    Quote Originally Posted by MacGuffin View Post
    Never known that.
    The Twin Hive Mind.


    The Nin quote was about "choose{ing} a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me". Making enormous demands on others is a demand on the INTP. We'd rather be off in our heads.
    Noteworthy.

    Fe is quite a demand. I find it delicious, but I'd need time to recharge. It's still extraversion.
    I have to recharge too. Hence, the alone time.

    Ne is a better way to get more interaction from the INTP. Brainstorm!
    My Ni is laying a trap... right.. now....


    No, but that fear does exist. I think immature INTPs would probably look for someone that only hits on the mind. They'll realize their mistake eventually.
    Thanks for the clarification.


    Okay good. But is it okay if you were to get wound up about something, and the guy left the room, came back and doused you with a fire extinguisher? Not that it would solve anything, but because it would be hilariously funny.
    You'd do anything to... never mind.
    eNFJ 4w3 sx/so 468 tritype
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    EII-Fi subtype, Ethical/Empath, Delta/Beta
    RLUEI, Choleric/Melancholic
    Inquistive/Limbic
    AIS Holland code
    Researcher: VDI-P
    Dramatic>Sensitive>Serious

  9. #109
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    Quote Originally Posted by PinkPiranha View Post
    My Ni is laying a trap... right.. now....
    Uh huh.

    Quote Originally Posted by PinkPiranha View Post
    You'd do anything to... never mind.
    You can't allude to something then not... wait! That's the trap!

    *escapes*

  10. #110
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
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    *snaps fingers*

    So close.
    eNFJ 4w3 sx/so 468 tritype
    Neutral Good
    EII-Fi subtype, Ethical/Empath, Delta/Beta
    RLUEI, Choleric/Melancholic
    Inquistive/Limbic
    AIS Holland code
    Researcher: VDI-P
    Dramatic>Sensitive>Serious

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