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  1. #51
    Google "chemtrails" Bush Did 9/11's Avatar
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    It's been too long since I've flirted. At least intentionally. Though I tend to be aware but stoic enough that I don't do it unintentionally.

    I dunno. You just strike up a conversation and be halfway presentable, and then some stuff happens and then you're on a date or in a relationship or something.

    J. Scott Crothers
    aka "Bush Did 9/11"
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  2. #52
    So she did. small.wonder's Avatar
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    I'm pretty good at flirting with people I know, but crash and burn with strangers (especially if find them attractive ). This is catastrophic because anyone I find attractive gets the idea that I'm not interested, or hate them-- I think it's because I take it too seriously when I feel chemistry.

    Just yesterday I was at the airport and had three instances of this. One going through security, who chuckled at me for stacking those plasic bin things that people had just left all over the place. I did return his smile (but it was probably weak) but went into mind my own business mode. I have no idea why I cannot react normally. Then I passed a kind of good looking guy but thought nothing of it, until I realized 5 minutes later he was waiting in line behind me for coffee. He had a Louisiana drawl when he ordered (sorry, I love that) and while we were waiting for our drinks, he glanced at me a few times and cleared his throat but I just could not make eye contact for the life of me.

    Stuff like this makes me feel so irreparably broken. I won't even go into the last guy at my gate.

    I've had to watch myself with friends and guys I'm comfortable with though, because I can apparently get flirtatious there. *sigh* Why is this so backwards?!
    Find my Enneagram writing here. Also, I'd love for you to take my six question Enneagram surveyEnneagram survey!✨
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  3. #53
    Senior Member riva's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by small.wonder View Post
    I'm pretty good at flirting with people I know, but crash and burn with strangers (especially if find them attractive ). This is catastrophic because anyone I find attractive gets the idea that I'm not interested, or hate them-- I think it's because I take it too seriously when I feel chemistry.

    Just yesterday I was at the airport and had three instances of this. One going through security, who chuckled at me for stacking those plasic bin things that people had just left all over the place. I did return his smile (but it was probably weak) but went into mind my own business mode. I have no idea why I cannot react normally. Then I passed a kind of good looking guy but thought nothing of it, until I realized 5 minutes later he was waiting in line behind me for coffee. He had a Louisiana drawl when he ordered (sorry, I love that) and while we were waiting for our drinks, he glanced at me a few times and cleared his throat but I just could not make eye contact for the life of me.

    Stuff like this makes me feel so irreparably broken. I won't even go into the last guy at my gate.

    I've had to watch myself with friends and guys I'm comfortable with though, because I can apparently get flirtatious there. *sigh* Why is this so backwards?!
    I will find some stupid excuse to talk to the next attractive stranger I meet
    I will find some stupid excuse to talk to the next attractive stranger I meet
    I will find some stupid excuse to talk to the next attractive stranger I meet
    I will find some stupid excuse to talk to the next attractive stranger I meet
    I will find some stupid excuse to talk to the next attractive stranger I meet
    I will find some stupid excuse to talk to the next attractive stranger I meet
    I will find some stupid excuse to talk to the next attractive stranger I meet
    I will find some stupid excuse to talk to the next attractive stranger I meet
    I will find some stupid excuse to talk to the next attractive stranger I meet


    Keep telling yourself that. Also do this. It has worked for me 4 times now.
    .

  4. #54
    So she did. small.wonder's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by riva View Post
    I will find some stupid excuse to talk to the next attractive stranger I meet
    I will find some stupid excuse to talk to the next attractive stranger I meet
    I will find some stupid excuse to talk to the next attractive stranger I meet
    I will find some stupid excuse to talk to the next attractive stranger I meet
    I will find some stupid excuse to talk to the next attractive stranger I meet
    I will find some stupid excuse to talk to the next attractive stranger I meet
    I will find some stupid excuse to talk to the next attractive stranger I meet
    I will find some stupid excuse to talk to the next attractive stranger I meet
    I will find some stupid excuse to talk to the next attractive stranger I meet


    Keep telling yourself that. Also do this. It has worked for me 4 times now.
    I did actually try to think of something, anything to say to him, but everything I thought of seemed weird. I mean, we were strangers at the airport, waiting for coffee. I almost always try to talk to my seat neighbors on the plane, but this was so temporary. In hindsight, I should have said something about liking his accent. On the other hand, he seemed kind of tongue tied too-- but perhaps that's because I was being so stand off-ish. Argh.
    Find my Enneagram writing here. Also, I'd love for you to take my six question Enneagram surveyEnneagram survey!✨

  5. #55
    Senior Member evilrubberduckie's Avatar
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    Hey. You have a dick. I have tits. Your face looks nice. Perfect combo. Take me out to dinner.

    ... it always works.
    "Advance, and never halt, for advancing is perfection. Advance and do not fear the thorns in the path, for they draw only corrupt blood."
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  6. #56
    What Is Life? RobinSkye's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by evilrubberduckie View Post
    Hey. You have a dick. I have tits. Your face looks nice. Perfect combo. Take me out to dinner.

    ... it always works.
    >You have tits
    >No vagina for that dick?

    k.
    Ti = Ne > Ni > Si > Te = Fi > Se > Fe
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  7. #57
    Post Human Post Qlip's Avatar
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    I just remembered that I had an unintended flirting fit a couple of weeks ago. It was Friday and work was winding down with drinks, I ended up talking to our office manager. I figured out that I was being flirtatious, because she dropped no so subtle hints more than once tp me that she was gay. It must have been in my eyes maybe, I've seen it from other ENFPs, I can imagine what it's like when it's on.

    I actually knew that she was a lesbian, and I wasn't actually trying anything. I just get random intense crushes, they're not even romantic. In her case, I was really drawn to the way she carried herself. Also, this is weird, but she always kept her hair up, but when she took it down is was this glorious chopped up mess of roots and frizz.

  8. #58
    Senior Member riva's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by small.wonder View Post
    I did actually try to think of something, anything to say to him, but everything I thought of seemed weird. I mean, we were strangers at the airport, waiting for coffee. I almost always try to talk to my seat neighbors on the plane, but this was so temporary. In hindsight, I should have said something about liking his accent. On the other hand, he seemed kind of tongue tied too-- but perhaps that's because I was being so stand off-ish. Argh.
    Trust me and do what I told you the next time.

    There is nothing awkward about it. You just made a genuine mistake due to misidentification he/she would think. If you do that he/she would only do one of the three reactions mentioned below -

    Say no and turn away
    Say no and smile with you
    Say no, think for a bit and tell you where he/she works

    Try it...

    Telling him he has a nice accent is a direct approach where you are actually complimenting him on something. When you use this on girls it almost always scares them, if you use it on guys it might not scare them but you wouldn't have any conversation material left.

    With my method you have. I'll tell you what you need to do next if the conversation dies down, if you need to know.
    .

  9. #59
    So she did. small.wonder's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by riva View Post
    Trust me and do what I told you the next time.

    There is nothing awkward about it. You just made a genuine mistake due to misidentification he/she would think. If you do that he/she would only do one of the three reactions mentioned below -

    Say no and turn away
    Say no and smile with you
    Say no, think for a bit and tell you where he/she works

    Try it...

    Telling him he has a nice accent is a direct approach where you are actually complimenting him on something. When you use this on girls it almost always scares them, if you use it on guys it might not scare them but you wouldn't have any conversation material left.

    With my method you have. I'll tell you what you need to do next if the conversation dies down, if you need to know.
    Sorry, I think I missed what you were suggesting-- I thought it was merely to comment on something situational (like his accent). I would much rather turn that compliment into conversation, "you have a charming accent, where are you headed?" (since we are in an airport) than make up some crap about recognizing him when I don't. Lying will never fly for me.

    No offense, but perhaps you should consider the Enneagram type of an individual, before you give them advice.
    Find my Enneagram writing here. Also, I'd love for you to take my six question Enneagram surveyEnneagram survey!✨
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  10. #60
    Senior Member riva's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by small.wonder View Post
    Sorry, I think I missed what you were suggesting-- I thought it was merely to comment on something situational (like his accent). I would much rather turn that compliment into conversation, "you have a charming accent, where are you headed?" (since we are in an airport) than make up some crap about recognizing him when I don't. Lying will never fly for me.

    No offense, but perhaps you should consider the Enneagram type of an individual, before you give them advice.
    E4s don't lie? Not even white lies? I didn't know.

    It's a simple white lie.

    Perhaps you would change the opener a bit to remove any lies from it.

    Directly asking someone - especially a female - where they are headed or where their accent is from freaks them out like hell, believe me.

    But with men, it might not, so I guess it might not scare them away.

    Good luck.
    .

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