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Thread: ENFJ and ESFJ Relationships

  1. #1
    Administrator Array highlander's Avatar
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    Dec 2009
    6w5 sx/sp
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    Default ENFJ and ESFJ Relationships

    What do you think about relationships between ENFJs and ESFJs? The focus of this is really on romantic relationships but it also makes sense to discuss your experience in situations where these two types interact in a significant way – such as friendship, at work, etc.

    When it’s working – What are the joys and positive aspects of these relationships?
    - How compatible do you think these two types are in general?
    - Why are they attracted to each other?
    - How to they compliment each other?
    - How well do they understand each other and why?
    - What are they like together raising children?

    When it’s not working – What are the challenges when two people of this type are in a relationship?
    - What are some of the communication challenges they can have?
    - What are the biggest frustrations between these two types?
    - How can they take each other for granted?
    - What happens with things “go wrong” between these two types?

    Advice for couples – What recommendations do you have?
    - What things should each type do to facilitate better communication?
    - What advice do you have for each of the two types?
    - If you are an ENFJ, what advice do you have for the ESFs?
    - If you are an ESFJ, what advice would you have for the ENFJs?

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  2. #2
    Junior Member Array
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    Nov 2009


    This is my brother (ENFJ) and my sister (ESFJ). Of course, growing up together is somewhat different than a relationship, but in this case they clash fairly badly.

    Growing up, my brother was always incredibly keen to please, he'd be the sort of kid you could ask him to go fetch you something and he'd jump to do so. Of course, my sister quickly learned this, and proceeded to take full advantage, and started to treat him like a personal servant. This lasted until he hit his teenage years, (also maybe about the point when he got taller than her) at which point he rebelled a bit and refused to do her work for her. Since then they've really only grown further opposed.

    She gets frustrated to the point of tears by his messiness and general inability to do anything promptly - she expects him to clean up after himself and do his chores when he is asked to and he just doesn't. She gets stroppy at him, he gets stubborn and avoids the issue, and they spiral downwards.

    For the most part, they just ignore each other these days, and any communication is pretty much what needs to be said and that's it.

    In general, I honestly have no idea how these two might complement each other, because there just appears to be zero common ground between the two.

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