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  1. #21
    Senior Member cafe's Avatar
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    I've experienced a fair amount of trauma and manage to have a pretty functional and happy life, but I don't think I bounce back super-quick and things that I can't resolve can preoccupy me for quite awhile. I don't ask 'Why me?' This planet is full of tragic happenings and I'm not some special person who should be exempt from the human condition. I do ask 'How can I fix this or prevent it from happening in the future?' and 'How can I help others who are having this experience/How can I help prevent other people from going through this?'
    “There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.”
    ~ John Rogers

  2. #22
    Senior Member sciski's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by proteanmix View Post
    Is understanding, knowing, or even being concerned about why the trauma occurred or is occurring and its effects on you and those around you important to being a resilient person? Basically, do you have to understand why ("Why me?!?") in order to be resilient?
    I'll answer this in a more general sense--I don't think understanding is required for a person to be resilient.

    The mark of resilience is the person who gets up (and keeps getting up) after being knocked down by circumstances beyond their control. Understanding is not necessary for the person to get up. The person may be resilient through pride, stubbornness, ignorance... any number of things.

    Is dwelling on why something traumatic occurred a hindrance to resilience
    I think there is an exception for those who absolutely need to understand a situation before they can move on. In these cases the 'dwelling' time is used as a tool to enable a person to move on. The person is consciously trying to achieve resilience through understanding. In this case it's not a hindrance.

    However, if the dwelling time is unproductive and merely consists of the continuous reliving or reanalysis of the event, with no learning or development, then that is a hindrance to resilience. Because the person is ultimately stuck in the circumstance (by dwelling) and not getting on with their lives (thus not achieving resilience). Thus dwelling, in this circumstance, is a hindrance to resilience.

    [quote]is there something out there like resilience that factors in time necessary to process adversity and tribulation and still emerge favorably?[quote]

    It sounds like you're getting at some sort of standardised scale of trauma/adversity and a prescribed/recommended amount of time that an average human should take to get over trauma/adversity, depending on its severity on the scale... Basically, no.

    If you remove the time variable in resilience, i.e. instead of rebounding relatively quickly and consistently (let's say about a year from onset of event) to rebounding around 5 - 10 years after onset of a traumatic event would you consider that resilient or something else?
    Removing the time scale seems to make the question of resilience easier to answer--if they weren't actually overcome (ie physically or psychologically altered for the worse) by the adversity, doesn't that mean they're resilient? They just took their time to get over it.. but get over it they did.

    Interesting questions... good for thinking about at 2am my time.

  3. #23
    Senior Member _Violence_'s Avatar
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    I want to answer yes, but I will say no.

    Because only by doubting ourselves will we feel a need to toughen our resilience.

    And as a result, become more resilient.

  4. #24
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    Nah, not really resilient here, especially emotionally.
    ENTj 7-3-8 sx/sp

  5. #25
    Senior Member Saslou's Avatar
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    Yes sir.

    What doesn't kill you makes you stronger .. And i am definitely stronger
    “I made you take time to look at what I saw and when you took time to really notice my flower, you hung all your associations with flowers on my flower and you write about my flower as if I think and see what you think and see—and I don't.”
    ― Georgia O'Keeffe

  6. #26
    `~~Philosoflying~~` SillySapienne's Avatar
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    Generally speaking, very much so.

    But there are times when I just want to cave into myself, implode, disintegrate, give up, or give in.
    `
    'Cause you can't handle me...

    "A lie is a lie even if everyone believes it. The truth is the truth even if nobody believes it." - David Stevens

    "That that is, is. That that is not, is not. Is that it? It is."

    Veritatem dies aperit

    Ride si sapis

    Intelligentle sparkles

  7. #27
    Senior Member ceecee's Avatar
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    Very much so. One reason is that is simply my personality. The other is that I seriously doubt anyone around me would allow me to not be resilient.
    I like to rock n' roll all night and *part* of every day. I usually have errands... I can only rock from like 1-3.

  8. #28
    Senior Member Bubbleboy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by proteanmix View Post
    Resilience is:

    From wikipedia

    As resilient attitude can be:

    It seems to me that the a major component emotional and psychological resilience is time-dependent; the turnaround between the trauma and the rebound is relatively short, i.e. the beginning of a traumatic event or episode and maybe a year from onset even if the event is still happening resilience has kicked in.

    Is understanding, knowing, or even being concerned about why the trauma occurred or is occurring and its effects on you and those around you important to being a resilient person? Basically, do you have to understand why ("Why me?!?") in order to be resilient?

    Is dwelling on why something traumatic occurred a hindrance to resilience or is there something out there like resilience that factors in time necessary to process adversity and tribulation and still emerge favorably? If you remove the time variable in resilience, i.e. instead of rebounding relatively quickly and consistently (let's say about a year from onset of event) to rebounding around 5 - 10 years after onset of a traumatic event would you consider that resilient or something else?
    I don't believe being stoic is an admirable trait. It can leave you desensitized, and it helps hide problems instead of solving them. Being resilient never did me any favors.
    I'm not clever enough to have a signature.

  9. #29
    morose bourgeoisie
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    I used to think I was pretty resilient, but there are limits to everything, you know?
    I think truly resilient people are emotionally honest with themselves. They are less likely to repress bad experiences, so they cope and adapt more quickly. Those of us who have pushed away emotional pain (for example, from the death of a loved one) still have the piper to pay, and he will call in the debt at some unspecified future time.
    So, I guess resilience isn't a personality triat so much as a result of letting painful experiences find a path to the surface...imo.
    So it can be learned. OR so I'm told.

  10. #30
    Senior Member WoodsWoman's Avatar
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    Yes - I'm not dead yet.

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