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Thread: Others Anger

  1. #1
    I could do things Hard's Avatar
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    Default Others Anger

    A facebook post made me think of this.

    E1's are often labeled as the types that have a strong link to anger and anger suppression. One thing that is never really brought up though, is the relation to other peoples anger. As an E1, I find that when someone else is angry and they're showing it, my respect for them starts to go down pretty sharply. Even if it's justified I want to roll my eyes and say "suck it up". I'll find I either have no sympathy for them, or want to punish them in some regard for acting on it. It's an emotion that I seldom experience and have very good control over, and when it does come out it's quick and minimal in impact.

    There is a distinction though, it's acting upon anger that I take much more issue with. In others it sort of boils down to "you should be able to control your anger, and if you can't, that is your fault and you should suffer the consequences". It also makes me realize that I have a stronger connection to anger than I think of (as I usually think of it as the one thing that doesn't fit quite right for me in regards to enneagram). I will think "anger is an emotion you do not act upon. Ever, under any circumstances. You simply don't. Do do so is wrong and makes you wrong." In an ironic twist, it sort of triggers my anger "How dare you be angry! I will make you stop!"

    Do other E1's experience this type of response? What do other types think of this?

    Tagging other E1's: @EJCC @fidelia @SD45T-2 @Magic Poriferan
    MBTI: ExxJ tetramer
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    External Perception: Nohari and Johari


  2. #2
    this is my winter song EJCC's Avatar
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    About 75% of that. My distinctions:

    1) I sometimes get catharsis from other people's anger to the point that I laugh out loud at it (and sometimes I do that with my own anger -- I call it "rage laughter", for lack of a better name)

    2) If they're acting on their anger in a way that makes sense and is justifiable, then I'm fully in support of it. But I experience exactly the same frustration you described in the OP, with people who "act irrationally" or "have no impulse control". Ultimately I find those to be much greater sins than letting out anger -- and I try to never commit those sins (and I feel pretty awful and hypocritical when I do)


    Edit: I think I used to be more like that than I currently am. Honestly I was reading it and flashed back to when I was a teenager. I think recently I've forced myself to not be angry when I see people venting about things, because so many people in my life have been the sorts of people who vent a lot. I've told myself that the "good friend" thing to do is to ignore my own feelings and think about theirs instead.
    ~ g e t f e s t i v e ! ~


    EJCC: "The Big Questions in my life right now: 1) What am I willing to live with? 2) What do I have to live with? 3) What can I change for the better?"
    Coriolis: "Is that the ESTJ Serenity Prayer?"



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  3. #3
    Senior Member prplchknz's Avatar
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    @Hard some of your posts you do seem angry, especially when it comes to rules. I remember you getting what seemed like really angry (could be wrong) because someone got in trouble for breaking a rule or something, and me and a few others thought it was justified (I don't remember the exact situation) and you kept insisting that it was against the rules and it didn't matter if it was justified or not that because it was written that they should get punished and you were very stubborn. I think i have came up with a scenerio where it was life or death if the person obeyed the rule (death if they obeyed, but life if they broke it) didn't matter they broke the law should be punished was your point of view. I look at rules very differently than you, which is fine. I'm very angry but i'm also not a 1. e1s sometimes don't make sense to me. they sometimes come across too rigid.
    In no likes experiment.

    that is all

    i dunno what else to say so

  4. #4
    Iron Maiden fidelia's Avatar
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    Very much identify with what you said, Hard! Could have written a lot of that myself!

  5. #5
    this is my winter song EJCC's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by prplchknz View Post
    @Hard some of your posts you do seem angry, especially when it comes to rules. I remember you getting what seemed like really angry (could be wrong) because someone got in trouble for breaking a rule or something, and me and a few others thought it was justified (I don't remember the exact situation) and you kept insisting that it was against the rules and it didn't matter if it was justified or not that because it was written that they should get punished and you were very stubborn.
    Yeah I think it's a pretty typical 1 thing, to think that you're detached but actually come across as angry. I'm certainly guilty of that. There's this sample phrase that comes up in 1 descriptions, that's something along the lines of "I'm NOT angry, I'm just trying to FIX this thing that is CLEARLY BROKEN".
    ~ g e t f e s t i v e ! ~


    EJCC: "The Big Questions in my life right now: 1) What am I willing to live with? 2) What do I have to live with? 3) What can I change for the better?"
    Coriolis: "Is that the ESTJ Serenity Prayer?"



    ESTJ - LSE - ESTj (mbti/socionics)
    1w2/7w6/3w4 so/sx (enneagram)
    want to ask me something? go for it!

  6. #6
    Senior Member prplchknz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by EJCC View Post
    Yeah I think it's a pretty typical 1 thing, to think that you're detached but actually come across as angry. I'm certainly guilty of that. There's this sample phrase that comes up in 1 descriptions, that's something along the lines of "I'm NOT angry, I'm just trying to FIX this thing that is CLEARLY BROKEN".
    ok so are 1s typically attracted to law enforcement? like cops, I can see an 8 but i wonder how many 1 cops their are. oh oh judges probably lot of judges who are 1s.

    I too come across angry at times and don't feel angry. but then i get angry because people are saying i'm angry but i'm not. but i think the mechanisms for that is different. though in that situation i was angry, cuz i'm also stubborn and get all indignant and like well fine he/she not gonna listen to reason i'll just hope they fall.
    In no likes experiment.

    that is all

    i dunno what else to say so

  7. #7
    this is my winter song EJCC's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by prplchknz View Post
    ok so are 1s typically attracted to law enforcement? like cops, I can see an 8 but i wonder how many 1 cops their are. oh oh judges probably lot of judges who are 1s.
    Oh hell yes.

    Quote Originally Posted by prplchknz View Post
    I too come across angry at times and don't feel angry. but then i get angry because people are saying i'm angry but i'm not.
    ~ g e t f e s t i v e ! ~


    EJCC: "The Big Questions in my life right now: 1) What am I willing to live with? 2) What do I have to live with? 3) What can I change for the better?"
    Coriolis: "Is that the ESTJ Serenity Prayer?"



    ESTJ - LSE - ESTj (mbti/socionics)
    1w2/7w6/3w4 so/sx (enneagram)
    want to ask me something? go for it!

  8. #8
    Senior Member prplchknz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by EJCC View Post
    Oh hell yes.
    is that why you were happy when you finally became a mod?

    yup so many times. especially on here. though I've never been tased.
    In no likes experiment.

    that is all

    i dunno what else to say so

  9. #9
    this is my winter song EJCC's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by prplchknz View Post
    is that why you were happy when you finally became a mod?
    That's why I was happy when I was finally able to become a mod, yes. I'd wanted to for years, probably since 2010 or 2011, but didn't have time until recently.

    I think it's safe to assume that that's also why @Hard is a former forum moderator, and why @SD45T-2 is a law enforcement enthusiast.
    ~ g e t f e s t i v e ! ~


    EJCC: "The Big Questions in my life right now: 1) What am I willing to live with? 2) What do I have to live with? 3) What can I change for the better?"
    Coriolis: "Is that the ESTJ Serenity Prayer?"



    ESTJ - LSE - ESTj (mbti/socionics)
    1w2/7w6/3w4 so/sx (enneagram)
    want to ask me something? go for it!

  10. #10
    Senior Member prplchknz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by EJCC View Post
    That's why I was happy when I was finally able to become a mod, yes. I'd wanted to for years, probably since 2010 or 2011, but didn't have time until recently.

    I think it's safe to assume that that's also why @Hard is a former forum moderator, and why @SD45T-2 is a law enforcement enthusiast.
    def not a 1 then, the idea of having to enforce rules and be a model citizen is not appealing at all to me.
    In no likes experiment.

    that is all

    i dunno what else to say so

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