User Tag List

First 2345 Last

Results 31 to 40 of 45

  1. #31
    Senior Member ICUP's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    MBTI
    ISTP
    Enneagram
    6w5 sx/sp
    Posts
    1,793

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Chloé View Post
    actually thats good example to show what i dont understand abou him ; its that i can give him book and say "this book solved all my problems. blah blah" and NO MATTER what is written in the book, even if it really is "answer to all problems" in it, he will refuse it and say its crap! So he doesnt need to open it chances are 0,1% he will agree with anything from it.
    I don't give mine the book. I read it while he is there.... I'll use someone else as an example first, and say, "my mother drives me crazy. she does <insert annoying behavior>, and I never understood why. I think I've found the answer, right here," and then proceed to read an excerpt from the book. I won't mention his parts until much later on, when he feels comfortable that the book explains other's actions somewhat. I'll read my stuff out of the book, and talk about what parts apply to me, and what things I could change and work on. And then, after time has passed and the book has become comfortable, I will start reading his stuff. Then when he says it doesn't describe him, I have the argument that we've figured out that it fairly-well describes me and others, so why doesn't it describe him at all? LoL..... and that's when I will say that he is being inner-resistant. He listens slowly but surely. And I keep reading it off-and-on, and he hears more each time. It takes time and energy. It's like leading a horse to water, one baby-step at a time. haha.

    My mother is the same way when it comes to accepting the truth about herself and her situations in life. 8 and 9 both have inner-resistance. My mother will even lie and say she doesn't understand things that she can understand, to avoid the topic, and therefore avoid responsibility or the acceptance that there are any negatives or problems at all. I've been unhealthy, gone through a living hell, figured out how to solve it, and done so, and she's still in the stage of trying to accept that there ever was a problem at all. Boy, what help she was.
    ISTP 6w5 sx/sp
    6-8-4/6-9-4 Tritype

  2. #32
    Senior Member Mal12345's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    MBTI
    IxTP
    Enneagram
    5w4 sx/sp
    Socionics
    LII Ti
    Posts
    14,019

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Chloé View Post
    How does an unhealthy 8 look like ?

    In general, what are your experiences with 8s and love? Especially unhealthy ones.

    I dont know many 8s, only one quite well. I am pretty shocked how difficult they can be when unhealthy. There seems to be no right move around them. Everything is a sign that you're enemy. Even if you try to show love, thats "looking down at 8"
    This is an easy question. Unhealthy 8s have no defense against tears from others. They cannot defend against that kind of emotion, and they are not prepared to deal with it. Anger is easier for them to deal with. Avoiding the type 8 only delays the inevitable. Running away only makes them chase you down like a pit bull, either immediately or later, knowing you have nowhere to hide, and then trapping you in a corner somewhere. But 8s know they cannot win when confronted with crying. This might depend on how unhealthy the 8 is, one who is at level 9 might just crush you into oblivion anyway.
    "Everyone has a plan till they get punched in the mouth." Mike Tyson
    “Culture?” says Paul McCartney. “This isn't culture. It's just a good laugh.”

  3. #33
    Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Posts
    61

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Chloé View Post
    My 8 would use self-help books as toillet paper so its better to keep em away from him !
    That's exactly what I did today.

  4. #34
    Member Odyne's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    MBTI
    ENTJ
    Enneagram
    8w7
    Socionics
    SLE
    Posts
    49

    Default

    Unhealthy 8s are quite destructive. So I suggest to either stay away, run away, or fight back if you think you can. Because they can be quite vengeful, and while an average healthy 8 might fantasize about vengeance when hurt, an unhealthy one might enact it. So, run for your life! lol

    As for being in love, I have yet to experience that. But I did feel deeply for some of my partners and I did care for them a great deal. I was awfully caring, and protective. Very supportive and strong like a rock when they needed me. The rough edge tends to soften around them, and I get sweeter and a lot more trusting.

    It's a great feeling, I have to say.

  5. #35
    Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Enneagram
    8w9
    Posts
    90

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Chloé View Post
    How does an unhealthy 8 look like ?
    How can you not imagine what they're like? They're all in jail. Unhealthy 8's aren't capable of love...

    Like Odyne said, "stay away, run away, or fight back if you think you can" is the best advice.


    Here's a hollywood style unheathy 8 (NWS, has strong violence) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qTAmKmw2_Ts

    Real life http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7OzPfYcpe8c This guy's a complete asshole, and a quite disturbing

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oW4nDD4keik This guy is unheathly/average so you could have a conversation with him but only if he wants it. There's no point in even dealing with people like this, you'll just end up worse off.


    As if an unhealthy 8 gives a shit about love lol...

  6. #36
    Emperor/Dictator kyuuei's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    MBTI
    enfp
    Enneagram
    8
    Posts
    13,881

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by ICUP View Post
    My 8 certainly has the knight in shining armor thing going on, but I think it is adorable. I don't consider it unhealthy that he wants to play the role of protector of his people.
    I've been told the same before as well.. It isn't unhealthy to want this role, or even to strive for it. What I feel is unhealthy is when they're delusional about it. That they already ARE in that role, all the time.. They start telling people what to do, and demanding and being overly domineering because they're justifying it via their role as the person's protector.. whether they're asking for protection or not, or even if the advice itself makes sense or not.. I have trouble from time to time reminding myself that people do not have my same moral system, and it is important to respect theirs and let them live their lives.

    My S.O. loves to argue... but if you tell him he does, he will say he doesn't. .....
    I say the same thing all the time.
    Kantgirl: Just say "I'm feminine and I'll punch anyone who says otherwise!"
    Halla74: Think your way through the world. Feel your way through life.

    Cimarron: maybe Prpl will be your girl-bud
    prplchknz: i don't like it

    In Search Of... ... Kiwi Sketch Art ... Dream Journal ... Kyuuei's Cook book ... Kyu's Tiny House Blog ... Minimalist Challenge ... Kyu's Savings Challenge

  7. #37
    A window to the soul
    Guest

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Chloé View Post
    How does an unhealthy 8 look like ?

    In general, what are your experiences with 8s and love? Especially unhealthy ones.

    I dont know many 8s, only one quite well. I am pretty shocked how difficult they can be when unhealthy. There seems to be no right move around them. Everything is a sign that you're enemy. Even if you try to show love, thats "looking down at 8"
    Like your run of the mill wife beater. Incapable of love, loving, or being loveable.

    Lost.

  8. #38
    Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Posts
    61

    Default

    I'm an 8w9.

    When I'm in love, I give up a lot of control. I'm already easy going once I bring someone into my circle. Once you're in my circle, you are in for life until you betray me. If someone betrays me in any manner, I usually scream/yell at them as a tactic to keep them away (I scare until they shit themselves) and then I coldly shut the door. I do forgive but I damn sure don't forget.

    When I'm unhealthy, I'm aggressive and ruthless. I become far too withdrawn to actually interact with others.

  9. #39
    Senior Member Mal12345's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    MBTI
    IxTP
    Enneagram
    5w4 sx/sp
    Socionics
    LII Ti
    Posts
    14,019

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by bionic View Post
    I'm an 8w9.

    When I'm in love, I give up a lot of control. I'm already easy going once I bring someone into my circle. Once you're in my circle, you are in for life until you betray me. If someone betrays me in any manner, I usually scream/yell at them as a tactic to keep them away (I scare until they shit themselves) and then I coldly shut the door. I do forgive but I damn sure don't forget.

    When I'm unhealthy, I'm aggressive and ruthless. I become far too withdrawn to actually interact with others.
    That's a nice description of deteriorating to 5. Is that why you score yourself as introverted?
    "Everyone has a plan till they get punched in the mouth." Mike Tyson
    “Culture?” says Paul McCartney. “This isn't culture. It's just a good laugh.”

  10. #40
    Senior Member Chloe's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2009
    Posts
    2,204

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Nerd Girl View Post
    Like your run of the mill wife beater. Incapable of love, loving, or being loveable.

    Lost.
    something like this.....
    [YOUTUBE="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2B50RUXbs-8&feature=youtube_gdata_player"]huh[/YOUTUBE]

Similar Threads

  1. [E8] Etype 8s in Love....
    By Norqs in forum Enneatypes
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 08-22-2017, 05:48 PM
  2. [INTP] INTP and Falling in love
    By stormyapril in forum The NT Rationale (ENTP, INTP, ENTJ, INTJ)
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: 04-14-2012, 07:34 PM
  3. [INFJ] Help! I think I'm in love with an unhealthy INFJ
    By Strawberrylover in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 15
    Last Post: 07-20-2009, 04:35 AM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO