Name: Lord Henry Snipthread
Appearance: Gloves, monocle, and plum-purple top hat, sported by a gentleman who is twelve feet tall and as many centimeters wide. On the whole, he resembles a coat rack with fancy clothes on it instead of coats.
Age: Negative 45
HP - 30
MP - 150
Str - 30
Mag - 150
Def - 30
Agi - 150
Weapon: In spite of the fact that he carries a walking cane, his weapon is his mustache. This mustache is crafted from the fur of a wild beast, and it comes in several varieties depending on the beast of origin. Varieties include mint, bacon, and polka-dots.
Gentlemanly Sneeze, an attack that whips up a tornado to blow the opponents off-screen for a few turns. During this time, you can recover in the usual manner or flee from battle.
Civilized Discourse, in which Lord Henry speaks of all manner of highbrow topics. The enemy will find this so impressive that they'll be hard-pressed to harm the gentleman and his comrades. The enemy's attack will drop by 50% for a length of three turns.
Curling of the 'Stache will cause Lord Henry to curl his mustache when in peril. By doing this, he summons a group of butlers which divide themselves between attacking the enemy and throwing themselves before their lord in order to prevent his injury. There are four butlers in all, and each time one of them blocks an attack or performs an attack of their own (this happens once a turn), that butler gets expended.
By nodding a Negative Nod, Lord Henry deals damage to one enemy equal to that which he and his comrades have sustained. Recovered damage doesn't count.
Back Story: Most men live one life; Lord Henry has lived two. His first life saw him as an explorer by the name of Dashly Jones. At the end of Dashly's final adventure, a quest for the Fountain of Youth, he successfully located those waters, whereupon he drank of them. So potent were those waters, however, that his one small sip subtracted more age than he had. In a matter of seconds, he became a child, then a baby, and then was unborn. From there, he went even further and grew up in a strange kind of reverse. This reverse was so reverse-like that even his personality took a sharp turnaround: he became a finicky lord who would sooner choke on caviar than die in a dangerous quest.
At some point it became clear what had happened to Lord Henry, and moreover, that Lord Henry would gradually age until he was reborn as that uncouth explorer. In an effort to prolong his life, therefore, Lord Henry ordered his servants to tie ropes to his arms and feet and then to pull him from either end. He reasoned that since adulthood is intimately connected with an increase in height, this exercise would have a Fountain of Maturity kind of effect. In fact, all that happened was that he got stretched out like a strip of taffy, which explains his peculiar stature.