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[Other] What Are You Feeling II: The Sequel & The Last Crusade & Search for & Revenge of Khan

Indigo Rodent

Member
Joined
Apr 4, 2019
Messages
236
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
1w9
Dread. Awareness of being left to die. That people who know want me dead for being disabled. I guess disgust too. It's completely inhuman. I'm really sick of it all. I don't have any allies besides my mother. Everyone else is enemy combatants in a war for resources.
 

Indigo Rodent

Member
Joined
Apr 4, 2019
Messages
236
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
1w9
Grief. I think I got to the point where there's absolutely no hope. Like, almost everyone is a fanatical social Darwinist, almost everyone wants me dead for being disabled.
It doesn't matter how exact I'm in describing my history, they still want me dead. Everyone except my mother is pro-genocide.
I don't want to die, but others want me dead.
They want me dead because they are fanatical social Darwinists.
People want save me because they hate disabled people and want us dead. I don't know where I could find people who aren't inhuman monsters.
All my hobbies attract fanatical social Darwinists for some reason.
It doesn't matter I've put in over 1000 hours into working on my art, including over 390 hours into drawing exercises, it doesn't matter that I've shared hundreds of drawings, they still want me dead.
There's no way out.
It's just inhuman.
Disgusting inhuman filth.
 

Indigo Rodent

Member
Joined
Apr 4, 2019
Messages
236
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
1w9
Feeling completely isolated. It's very lonely to be condemned to die for being disabled through people voting with their wallets. It fucking sucks that I catered with my art to community with disposable income and they turned out to be inhuman shitstains.
In the end, disabled people are most hated minority out there.
Feeling utterly dejected. I don't know how long I will be able to keep up.
Like feeling completely drained, despair is overwhelming.
The worst thing is that everything is like it's all pre-ordained. It's like destiny, everything set up from the start to destroy me.
 

Indigo Rodent

Member
Joined
Apr 4, 2019
Messages
236
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
1w9
Feeling completely alone with it all. People aren't helping me despite that I wrote my history and was talking about what's going on for years.
People decided that I need to die for being disabled.
I DON'T WANT TO DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 

Siúil a Rúin

To the waters of the wild
Joined
Apr 23, 2007
Messages
13,268
MBTI Type
ISFP
Enneagram
496
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
Sorry to hear how awful some people are feeling. Hope you all feel better.

I'm not feeling great - my lower back hurts and I woke up with a headache. I'm kinda back to the fibromyalgia type issues since my mother died.

I do like the Fall air that is light and sharp in its coolness. It's in the 30's right now, but later today I will go on a picnic by the lake. I've come to accept a lot about my life right now. I feel an achey, bittersweet acceptance.
 

Infinite Metamorphosis

typology-free life
Joined
Jan 17, 2018
Messages
4,535
There have been some life developments and I have a lot of feelings I need to process. Writing/journaling helps me make sense of things or gain insights. Overall, I'm feeling withdrawn today because I need space and time to do that. I'm good though. Life has good days and bad ones. I don't mistake that for a general sense of unhappiness.
 
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RadicalDoubt

Alongside Questionable Clarity
Joined
Jun 27, 2017
Messages
1,767
MBTI Type
TiSi
Enneagram
9w1
Instinctual Variant
sp/so
vibrating-shaking.gif
 

Infinite Metamorphosis

typology-free life
Joined
Jan 17, 2018
Messages
4,535
I used one of those face/acne suction things that have a camera on them so that you can see what's coming out, and now I feel traumatized. Need to go sit in a corner and rock back and forth now.
 
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