• You are currently viewing our forum as a guest, which gives you limited access to view most discussions and access our other features. By joining our free community, you will have access to additional post topics, communicate privately with other members (PM), view blogs, respond to polls, upload content, and access many other special features. Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free, so please join our community today! Just click here to register. You should turn your Ad Blocker off for this site or certain features may not work properly. If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact us by clicking here.

[Type 9] Type 9s - What type are you drawn to?

highlander

Administrator
Staff member
Joined
Dec 23, 2009
Messages
25,497
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
6w5
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
Type 9s - What type are you drawn to? Why are you drawn to them?
 

Kasper

Diabolical
Joined
May 30, 2008
Messages
11,590
MBTI Type
ENTP
Enneagram
9w8
Instinctual Variant
so/sx
6s, and to a lesser degree 5s.

6s show appreciation of me in a way that other people take for granted, around 6s I feel valued.

5s don't put any pressure on me to be different to who I am, it's easy and there's room to breath.
 

_eric_

New member
Joined
Oct 8, 2012
Messages
285
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
9w1
Instinctual Variant
sp/so
I'm very much attracted to 4s. This sums it up how I feel about it and how I've experienced the dynamic really well, I love it and it's exactly what I've always wanted, long before ever finding out about typology stuff. There is just something about them that sucks me in like a black hole haha. :) :wub:

http://www.enneagraminstitute.com/4and9.asp
 

Ism

New member
Joined
Jun 21, 2008
Messages
1,097
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
9w1
8/7s? :v

I'm attracted, romantically or otherwise, to people with a lot of presence/control. Others, too, but I don't know what kinds of types those would be.
 

tinker683

Whackus Bonkus
Joined
Nov 8, 2009
Messages
2,879
MBTI Type
ISFJ
Enneagram
9w1
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
8's seem to almost universally elicit some sort of primordial response from me. It's a little unsettling just how drawn I can be to even the most ill tempered 8's. That being said, I've yet to find an 8 that finds me remotely interesting :shrug:

7's a close second, their fun loving nature tends to put me at ease. 4's, 1's, and 5's tend to draw me as well
 

mcgooglian

New member
Joined
Oct 11, 2008
Messages
139
MBTI Type
ISTP
I find that a good portion of my friends either tend to be 7s or 8s. I like that they can handle my craziness and my bluntness. Plus, whenever I'm with 7s, I always tend to become the brains and come up with most of the crazy ideas.
 

mintleaf

Member
Joined
Jan 2, 2013
Messages
500
Enneagram
6w5
Instinctual Variant
sp/so
Other 9s. There's something I read about 9s that I identify with very strongly, more so than anything else I've read w/r/t my personality types:

9w1s have an “ego in having no ego”, as opposed to the 9w8 ego in being able to be apathetic to what’s pointless. They can be unusually intuitive and cerebral as well as creative and fantastical. They have a knack for synthesizing various theories and viewpoints. Sometimes they can seem like 4s (individualists) and 5s (thinkers) except they idealize “flow” and don’t take things to the same extremes. It’s tough to narrow down the possibilities and discriminate the way they see everything as interconnected. They feel ambivalent and out of touch with what their instincts tell them. They repress and ignore negative urges in themselves but get frustrated with those who disturb the peace. In response to being disturbed themselves they might initially be taken aback or dazed and then say everything is okay.

I feel so relieved when I'm around people who are also like this. We tend to have very similar ideals and anxieties because of the traits described above, and it makes me feel less alone. Not to sound melodramatic.

I'm really drawn to 7s, 6s, and 5s, too. 7s are fun and I identify with their lack of direction, 5s are fascinating (especially 5w4s). I don't really know why I like 6s so much -- I've dealt with a good deal of anxiety in the past, but I don't think that's it.
 

Lightyear

New member
Joined
Jul 3, 2008
Messages
899
Well...

Am drawn to 1s because they are inspiring, I take a step back if they turn into complete fanatics for their cause who only see black and white.
Get along brilliantly with 2s as long as they give me space to breathe, I love how caring they are.
3s are interesting to observe but I find them often hard to relate to. I find their characteristic of hiding their real self behind an image unsettling since I want to know people for who they really are.
4s are brilliantly creative and sensitive but can be too much drama and leave me feeling emotionally drained, like everything is grey and horrible in the world.
5s are great to talk to for seeing different viewpoints and learning but a shared emotional understanding can be lacking.
6s can be very loyal friends but also stiffling in their urge to control things because they are so anxious. I once had a 6-boss who was unable to see the bigger picture and desperately tried to prevent any potential accidents from happening to her children, but to such a degree that it turned ridiculous. Sometimes you just have to chill out, go with the flow and take the things as they come
7s are flighty but fun. Mature 7s who have overcome their flightyness are great, fun company. 7s and I share the same positive outlook on life and Alice in Wonderland nature.
8s are love-hate for me. Love their decisiveness and efficiency, do not appreciate them steamrolling over people and bossing me around unless they know what they are doing. React to them with passive-aggressiveness but tend to get along with them in general since I am a peacemaker who is more likely to accommodate than to argue.
9s are pleasant company and havens of peace and mutual understanding.
 

Vilku

New member
Joined
Jan 4, 2012
Messages
406
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
4w5
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
1's: i feel like they can appreciate who i am in my core, which anyone rarely sees and even less understand, cause my deeper feelings are withdrawn due their fragility and this world just happens to be too mean to them unless someone takes special precaution to protect and nurture them, for them to emerge from hiding.

8's: much same as for 1's, but in a more hands on way, which i too appreciate greately.

6's: much the same as aforementioned two, but little more lightheartedly, which i take as a downside.

4's: they provide stimulation for my empathy which doesnt leave me bored, but thats pretty much it =\
 

Chaotic Harmony

New member
Joined
Jul 13, 2009
Messages
1,436
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
9w1
Instinctual Variant
sx
I married a 1....And now the I have to be perfect and right all the time personality is driving me insane. I wish he'd just loosen up a bit.

My BFF is most likely an 8...And he's pretty much been my rock for a long time.

I'm drawn to 4s initially, but over time grow bored... And if I could find a 7 I think I'd be in heaven. :D
 

cafe

New member
Joined
Apr 19, 2007
Messages
9,829
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
9w1
I dunno. I am attracted to my husband who tested 1w9 and is an INTP. I like him because he is principled which makes him trustworthy and predictable in a lot of ways. He does think he's right most of the time and most of the time, he is. He isn't an ass about it, but when I ignore his suggestions, more often than not stuff blows up in my face. Of course, he's learned the same thing about not listening to me. If I feel strongly enough about something to speak up, it's a good idea to pay attention.

I don't know if 1w9s are supposed to be funny, but my husband loves making me laugh. We have fun talking about current events, religion, and politics and solving the world's problems.

He really isn't picky about most external stuff unless it's his own stuff and not everything, just stuff he uses every day and doesn't want to forget to take it with him to work and stuff that has sentimental value and books. He doesn't fuss at me for being a slob or anything. He is very safety conscious and risk averse, so there are things I make a point of doing to honor his wishes that I might not otherwise do that way. I also make an effort to tolerate the double checking of locked doors, etc gracefully.

I handle the money and as long as the basics are covered and he has money for lunches, he doesn't care how I spend what's left over. He complies with reasonable requests unless he's grinding on WoW or something.

We're both conflict avoidant, but we've figured out how to negotiate peacefully for what we want. Or rather, I have. He's low maintenance but very stubborn, so I just sort of flow around him like water around a rock a lot of times. Other times I'm bossy and he humors me. I may be a 9, but I'm still a firstborn and mother of four. ;)

So whatever that means.
 

Kayness

Bunnies & Rainbow Socks
Joined
Jun 22, 2012
Messages
348
MBTI Type
ISFP
Enneagram
9w1
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
I like types that are more extroverted than I am..which is not very difficult.

I like Sixes a lot but only some of them, but then again I guess it's because Stephen is one.
 

Flâneuse

don't ask me
Joined
Jan 16, 2014
Messages
947
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
9w1
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
1 - Healthy Ones are inspiring to me, and I'm often drawn to them as friends. I admire their consistent self-discipline and conscientiousness, as these are qualities that I only possess on and off. I click more with FJ Ones because I find that Fe's gentleness softens the One-ish tendency to be judgmental and critical; TJ Ones can be a bit too rigid and impersonal. I find that my values are often similar to those of xNFJ Ones, but they tend to be more action-oriented and outspoken, which inspires me to try to do the same.

2w1 - Really lovely people, especially ISFJs and ENFJs. The connection I have with ENFJ 2w1s, especially other women, is amazing. Our personalities are vastly different, but once we start talking we realize how we both view the world through a human-centered, idealistic lens and have many of the same values; an ENFJ 2w1 friend of mine is almost like a mindmate for me. I'm holding off judgment about 2w3s as a group until I can meet enough to form a decent sample size; the one 2w3 I've been in close and prolonged contact with probably has histrionic personality disorder.

3w4 - usually just as friends. I've been attracted to 3w4 men before, but nothing ever happened.
- We can bond over being mild art and culture snobs.
- We both have a tendency to get on a high horse that we have no business being on, and can point this out to one another when we aren't self-aware enough to see it in ourselves.
- I have a strong 3w4 or 4w3 fix and I can understand the drive to act like your ideal self in hopes that you'll actually become it.

Fours - Drawn to them as friends. I haven't been close to any male 4s.
- Having insightful, understanding Type 4 friends (and a few family members) has been such a gift for me. Especially if they're xNFP, they intuitively get me better than any other type (except for other 9w1s), and I can usually offer some of my own understanding in return, as Four-ish issues are something that I also struggle with, though to a lesser degree than they do.
- We appreciate each other's quirkiness instead of being put off by it like some.
- We usually emotionally respond to events in opposite ways, which can be helpful by encouraging each of us to curb our maladaptive ways of coping. They help me emotionally connect to reality when I numb out: seeing my 4w5 mother's grief over her own mother's death helped move me beyond my initial numbness/helped unstop the flow of emotional energy. I can help them calm down when they're letting something hurt them more than it should: I helped reassure a 4w3 friend in high school whose low self-esteem was further harmed by ostracism that it wasn't her, but the people who were cruel to her, who had something wrong with them.

5 - I like them but they're hard to get close to.
I think they're fascinating, but I'm pretty certain that I come across as dippy to them. Our thinking styles are very different - mine is holistic and fuzzy (I sometimes need to write in order to organize my thoughts), while their thinking seems much more structured, detailed, alternately broad and microscopic. (I'm NOT saying all Nines are fuzzy-headed, just that I often am.) Fives are scarily articulate if you can get them talking; my verbal expression tends be awkward if I'm trying to explain something with any complexity. Still, if I could find a Five whose interests and ideas overlapped with mine (and who could tolerate my relative simplicity), it would be fulfilling for me: my thoughts are like a skeleton, just bare bones, while theirs have tendons and muscles that feed my imagination and encourage me to flesh out my own ideas.

7: When it comes to romantic and sexual attraction, I'm more drawn to Sevens than any other type (even after being badly hurt by one). They are charismatic, usually sweet (or at least nice), mentally stimulating, and have an inspiringly exuberant love of life (when healthy). We can have a blast being silly together, but (especially with Ti- or Ne-using 7s), there's usually a cerebral side to them as well. Because we both have a certain broadness and randomness to our thinking styles, conversation with them can be easier for me than with many other types.

sp-last 9w1: I've known two of them well (one ENFP so/sx and one INFP sx/so), and they were both immensely openhearted, huge-hearted, generous, patient, and unique. The sx/so wrote amazing poetry and was spiritual in the most sincere way (something that fascinates me because I've never been spiritual). They also have the energetic charm of a Seven, but are even kinder and gentler.
 

Yeah...Nope.

New member
Joined
Feb 3, 2014
Messages
28
MBTI Type
ERMM
Enneagram
5w4
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
Married a 6w5 enfp. We just clicked right from the get go. We have our disagreements, of course, but we have basically accepted our idiosyncrasies.
 

gromit

likes this
Joined
Mar 3, 2010
Messages
6,515
I feel a kinship with e7s and e4s, drawn to them as friends, although I don't think I've dated any of those. Maybe one e4 in college...

I think a lot of the ppl I've dated could be 6s and maybe a 5...
 

CheshireCat

New member
Joined
Oct 20, 2013
Messages
83
MBTI Type
GOO
Enneagram
954
Sixes keep popping up.
Perhaps I don't have to worry about being abandoned?
 

Kasper

Diabolical
Joined
May 30, 2008
Messages
11,590
MBTI Type
ENTP
Enneagram
9w8
Instinctual Variant
so/sx
Please explain. Is it because you think a 9 will?

My guess is it's commenting on a potential positive outcome of the 6/9 combination with the 6 sticking in it because of the loyalty that can be given even if the 9 doesn't feel worthy.
 
Top