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[MBTI General] Those Who Take Offense to Other's Appearance

Schizm

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Sep 10, 2007
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Edited for objectivity.

Continue discussion if desired.
 
Last edited:

Totenkindly

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The types who have criticized my appearance in the past have been SJ the majority of the time from what I gather. I am male who has in the past let his hair grow out a bit. Why does this offend certain SJ's?

One thing to note is the age of the person criticizing you. In the 1960's, in the United States, long hair on men was socially a [purposeful] sign of disrespect for the government and/or reigning authority... rebellion against the norms.

By the 1980's, long hair on young adult males did not really mean this at all, any longer (IMO); but it was still associated with rock music, drugs, rebellion, etc., a lack of "discipline." (and it was still a direct assault on the "gender" barrier, with many male rock stars wearing female hair styles as well as makeup).

Nowadays with the cultural changes that have occurred, I think it is not a big deal at all, really. But still, any Baby Boomers and/or older generations are prone to see it as rebellious. Gen X'ers and younger are more prone to see it as a sign of individuality.

Side Note: I have also been harassed by an ESFJ for my choice of clothes and criticized by an ISFJ. Why do some SJ's think they have the best sense of style?

I would correct this to say they think they have an understanding of "appropriate" style. It's not necessarily the clothes and hair that are contentious, it is the manner and place in where you exhibit them and how.

Without details, there is no way to assess what is really going on. There are just generalities that might or might not apply to your situation.
 

INTJMom

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I agree with Jennifer. My ISTJ mother thinks there is ONE WAY to do everything - her way. Her way is based on what is right and good for all mankind; it shows discipline and respect. It obeys authority.
 

proteanmix

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When I worked at Victoria's Secret I was on entrance detail trying to entice people to buy Heavenly or some fragrance. I remember this guy was walking down the corridor wearing a belt with "FUCK" flashing in multicolored lights on the buckle. Another time when this woman was wearing a less discrete version of J.Lo's Emmy dress and men were walking into the trash cans because they were so busy looking at her.

Most of the time, I really don't care what people are wearing as long as they don't stink. I actually like creative dressers. If the people I mentioned were wearing that stuff at 2 AM at a club, no I wouldn't think it was unusual. But there is a line somewhere and the people above crossed it. I think it's because I consider malls a family environment, although the mall I worked at it wasn't unusual to see people dressed like they were on a runway.

I'm not sure why these people would be offended by the length of your hair. If your clothes don't fit properly or are dirty then I can see a comment. But I'm going to be honest, it's not like I don't clown people for what they're wearing so I'M PART OF THE PROBLEM!!! What I don't get is when I see people walking around in shorts and flip flops in the middle of January. It took me the longest time to realize that maybe, just maybe, they're not cold. It's like contemplating infinity to me, my mind just wobbles and shakes and then I pass out in the bathroom.
 

spirilis

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It's like contemplating infinity to me, my mind just wobbles and shakes and then I pass out in the bathroom.

that seriously made me laugh out loud.

proteanmix passed out in front of the toilet? No vodka needed, just a mathematical limit problem...
 

Varelse

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ISFJ comments about my clothing: "I don't like that color on you. Don't wear it." (After I've had several other people compliment me on it.)

"That shirt is too immodest. Don't wear it." (When I'm wearing a tank-top that doesn't have spaghetti straps, or a low neck, etc. Just a tank-top).

Such seems to be related to some definition of style, modesty, etc, that the SJ in such assumes is universal, because that's what they use.

Personally, about the only thing that would annoy me would be something like the belt Proteanmix mentioned-if it is a public place where families are common.
 

INTJMom

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Yeah. I can't stand the f word being so common.
 

Luke

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SJ means introverted Sensing. Which means trying to avoid unpleasant or undesired physical stimulation. So if your clothes are an eyesore or (God forbid) causing unwanted sexual stimulation... you are probably going to get some criticism from SJs.
 

sassafrassquatch

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Being offended by someone's appearance and being an asshole are two different things. I think tattoos are stupid and ugly but I wouldn't tell a person with tattoos, "Hey... 'mere. Your tattoos are stupid and ugly." I'd say the problem is people who can't keep their J to themselves.
 

Metamorphosis

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ISFJ comments about my clothing: "I don't like that color on you. Don't wear it." (After I've had several other people compliment me on it.)

Ugh. I Hate it when people comment on my clothing that don't know me well and make it constructive. I went back to a restraunt I used to work at once a few months after I had left and a waitress I knew walked up to my table.

Her: Black doesn't suit you. You shouldn't wear it.
Me: *blank stare* Well, it was good seeing you. *ignore*
 

Athenian200

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I wouldn't criticize someone's clothing to their face... but I might talk about it to other people (whom they didn't associate with and whom I trusted) after the fact just to vent. I mainly dislike people walking around with their pants down around their knees, with boxers showing. It's really annoying, and they have to use one hand to hold them up. It's so ridiculous.

Also, one person I knew wore these really ugly pink shoes with holes in them (I think they were called Crocs), and yellow eyeshadow. I kept wondering if I it was a bad idea for me to be seen talking to someone dressed that way, and then chastising myself for being selfish, judgmental, and shallow.
 

GZA

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I don't think I'd care if someone wore a fuck belt in the mall, personally.

Anyone here from Toronto? Theres a guy who used to walk around downtown Toronto in 2005-mid 2007 dressed only in shorts, boots, and a santa claus hat, even in winter.

zanta_5July07.jpg


He got harassed by the police on a daily basis (police are generally SJ's, right? Is that an unfair generalization?) for dressing oddly and doing knuckle push ups while saying "yes yes yes!" and "merry christmas!". He actually became quite famous and popular, but he also had an online hate community. A lot of people think hes crazy, but hes actually totally sane, hes just in character. Look up "Zanta" on Youtube to see him in action.
 

cafe

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I probably wouldn't care about the belt buckle unless I had my younger kids with me.

It bothers me when parents allow their pre- and early-adolescent daughters to dress provocatively.

I don't want to see any body parts or clear outlines of body parts that normally reside in some kind of undergarment.

If think your clothes, hair, make up, or whatever looks funny or bad or ugly, so what? I didn't ask the general public what I should wear when I got up this morning. Why should they ask me?

I haven't had too much of a problem with people, SJ or otherwise, commenting on my clothes in a negative way since my much-loved ISXJ grandma died. I'd love to hear her complain about my holey jeans and take me to the store to buy me new ones and make me turn around and bend over to make sure they weren't to tight on my bum. I miss her.
 

Siúil a Rúin

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Here is a description of how Si dominant people view the concrete world. They have an inner sense of how concrete objects are suppose to be. When something comes into conflict with these expectations, Si thinking will reject it. It can cause unnecessary conflict, but these types also provide a stabilizing force to society. (SJ = Si as primary or secondary function)

typelogic-ISTJ said:
For both of the IS_J types, the sense of propriety comes from the clear definition of these internal forms. An apple "should" have certain qualities, against which all apples are evaluated. A "proper" chair has four legs, (and other qualities this poor INTP can only guess). Jung viewed introverted sensing as something of an oxymoron, in that the natural direction of senses is outward toward the object, rather than inward and away from it. One has the sense that Introverted Sensors are drawn more to the measure of the concept of the perceived object than to the experience of that perception.
 

Totenkindly

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typelogic-ISTJ said:
For both of the IS_J types, the sense of propriety comes from the clear definition of these internal forms. An apple "should" have certain qualities, against which all apples are evaluated. A "proper" chair has four legs, (and other qualities this poor INTP can only guess). Jung viewed introverted sensing as something of an oxymoron, in that the natural direction of senses is outward toward the object, rather than inward and away from it. One has the sense that Introverted Sensors are drawn more to the measure of the concept of the perceived object than to the experience of that perception.

Experientially, the bolded part resonates with me. There is an inexplicable "detachment" from things I have experienced when relating to ISxJs, they like to remain in control of themselves and seem to really dislike the experiential aspect of perceptions -- they'll measure and evaluate and compare, but to actually just "BE" inside the perception itself and mastered by it? They seem to be very uncomfortable doing that. It takes a lot for them to "let go" sometimes and be part of the experience, rather than critiquing it.
 

Economica

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I'm not sure whether this is unique to SJs but something that really frustrates me is the unwritten rule that one should not wear the same outfit/piece of clothing too often, especially if one is female. I didn't get it in school and I don't get it now; so long as the clothes are clean and appropriate to the occasion, why should other people care about my lack of wardrobe variety? :steam:

I conform at work and school since there are other variables with which I would rather fill my weirdness quota, but I have no qualms subjecting friends to my favorite skirt most every time I see them. No complaints or invitations to go shopping yet. :D
 

Recoleta

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I'm not sure whether this is unique to SJs but something that really frustrates me is the unwritten rule that one should not wear the same outfit/piece of clothing too often, especially if one is female. I didn't get it in school and I don't get it now; so long as the clothes are clean and appropriate to the occasion, why should other people care about my lack of wardrobe variety? :steam:

Lol...this doesn't bother me at all. I'm probably the one mostly likely out of all of my friends to wear the same exact outfits over and over again. I'd say I might have a 2-week rotation worth of clothes that I actually wear. In a given week of going to school and whatnot I'm likely to wear the same pair of jeans for 3-4 days in a row. So long as they stay clean and don't smell there's no problem.
 

Recoleta

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Experientially, the bolded part resonates with me. There is an inexplicable "detachment" from things I have experienced when relating to ISxJs, they like to remain in control of themselves and seem to really dislike the experiential aspect of perceptions -- they'll measure and evaluate and compare, but to actually just "BE" inside the perception itself and mastered by it? They seem to be very uncomfortable doing that. It takes a lot for them to "let go" sometimes and be part of the experience, rather than critiquing it.

:yes: Well said Jennifer, I know I'm like this. The best example in my life of this concept is getting drunk and the whole "bar scene." I don't see why people enjoy or even put themselves in the position where they are stupidly drunk. I have been around plenty of people who use alcohol for a good time, and some who use it as an escape. Either way it never ends up well. I've had friends puke everywhere, fall over and blackout, get themselves very sick, and just make poor choices in general. Voluntarily putting myself in a situation like that has no appeal to me. I stay very detached and analytical in those situations. I do drink socially, but in moderation. The worst I've been is pretty tipsy and that was in the company of my close friends...people I know I can trust and will take care of me.
 

ygolo

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Most SJ friends I have don't criticize my appearance under normal circumstances. But if I am going out, or going to business function, they'll have plenty of "criticism" (as will most people).

IMO, this is a good thing, and I usually seek it out, since I am not that great at knowing what make sense by myself.

My brother on the other hand (ISFP, I think) will ignore comments and do his own thing, then get all sorts of compliments on his sense of style.
 
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