my abode

[AphroditeGoneAwry]

Today i broke ground for my abode in the clearing in our woods. how i got to this place is a story in itself.......my life story, pretty much. lately, i have increasingly felt this need, this drive, to work at something meaningful with my own two hands, using my mind--challenging myself in ways i was always afraid of before. since the woods has always been my solace; and building with rock has always excited me; and the idea of my own space--physical and personal and emotional space--has been whispering sweet nothings in my ear, enticing me with promises of sanctity and peace and near nirvana, i finally acquiesced and picked up the shovel and dug in.

I set out first thing after chores this morning with the baby in the backpack. the baby in some ways makes it easier. keeps it simple. i fancy i am like native women of yesteryear, working at daily tasks while rearing children alongside. i work with him on my back. i set him on the warm earth to feel last year's long grass turned to hay, to touch tentatively the cool, damp, black dirt, to taste the twigs on the ground. i take breaks often, nursing him, or smiling at him in between pulling incessant running roots that don't want to give up their hold on the sacred earth. with warm, morning sun shining on us from the east, i note where my sink will be, where a small garden will catch the most light. i feel happy. as close to content as i have felt in a long time.

 

[ladypinkington]

Wow that is so beautiful. I love the image of you relating yourself to women of yesteryear. Glad that you are feeding your soul.

 

[AphroditeGoneAwry]

thank you for reading. i actually haven't worked on it much since, although i will when i can. the baby just takes all of my time right now. however, i find little smidgits of time whereby to feel my soul. my latest way is that i found this local pub--yes pub--near me (who'd have thunk it?) and i can take the baby and go have a beer or two and everyone is so friendly there just like you'd imagine a pub to be. the owner is this married guy in his 50s from england (so he has that nice accent) and he's so deep! the very first thing he said to me, in the most sincerest way, was how he thinks a child's soul looks down and chooses his parents and the child's soul says, "hey, those are the people i want to be my parents," and about how they are their very own individuals from the beginning. i'm like, "oh joy!" to have a nice friendly pub with an intuitive owner.....so when i'm feeling boxed in by life or circumstance i can get out and know i really am not alone, and just connect with good people.

 

[purplesunset]

I hope that I'm not doing an act of "blog necromancy" here, but I feel that I have to respond.

The images, and the overall mood that you evoked in me as I read this were very familiar to me. Although I'm not a woman, and I'm not nursing a baby. I do, however, recognize being in a forest, and detecting in the air the echoes of past souls that may have very well worked in that exact spot.

That "ambience" that one can get out in the woods is very powerful, and unlike anything else to me. You sound like a druidess (both D&D and Celtic) if you can also detect and tune into these energies of the forest.