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Just got out of a schizoaffective episode, type me


Dec 13, 2013
Instinctual Variant
1) Context:
a) What is your age range and general location (Country so that cultural values can be taken into account)? Do you have any impairments that may affect the way that you answer this questionnaire? Any religious or political beliefs (or anything else along those lines) that also might have an effect?

I am in my mid 20's and left in a former abyss of darkness and madness thinking that my nature effects the nature around me, such as passion leading to others falling in love or into cock fights, although I am never at the house, I am usually not talking to other people, instead reading books. Pass Go and collect $200, 1,2,3 go and beat the timer as the great buddha blasts nature, in all seriousness I am a conservative Christian that was given a second chance by Jesus Christ, even if it is a mirage of wishful thinking I would never be able to leave it as it feels so real, more real and intimate than any hallucination, vision, or illusion that I have had. I believe that the philosophers stone can be answered through kinesthetics and the senses, otherwise I am a big fan of science from radiation therapy to the power of the sun, the sun linking with the heart, battery, fridge, in thermodynamics, as if it was 5G internet or the Wardenclyffee Tower, I am a Ukrainian, with Ukrainian cultural values, although I spent my life in America, there is vortex in my cortex telling me that there is an animate universe and inanimate universe going in reverse after reading William James Sidis, in a single frame, created by God, all goes to decay in the light of entropy.

b) Which types are you currently considering? Why are you considering them and why haven’t you decided on one?
I am considering ISFP, INTJ or ESTP. I have yet to consider ISFJ.

2) What do you deem as your purpose in life?
I dream the purpose of my life is to come to better understand myself, and live for a higher purpose, unlike the obsession of something like the perfect crime, modeling, or chess, I can't help but be obsessed with Christianity, and want to live for Christ with a passion of dedicating my life to the church.

3) Of the seven deadly sins, which one(s) do you relate to the most and the least and why?
I relay to greed the most, as I can be self-centered, self-obsessed, and a daredevil, sadly I am a materialist and don't want to be swayed by the lust of money leading to a life of being a self-absorbed collection of protein and would instead want to focus on a spiritual existence.
The Sin that I least find in myself is Lust, I don't lust, and the thing concerning having sex with 100 women was masturbation on a semitruck, in all seriousness instead of warping my existence with the joke of growing older with a particular woman that turned out that she didn't like me, I don't undress women, although I would like a heart pendulum to cover my cold heart, and have me feel something as I go pass in this life. I have been in a relationship with two people and they both died, I am not looking into getting into a relationship or having sex and would instead like to focus on self betterment and getting healthier. Although I do love Molly Blooms soliloquy from Ulysses.

4) Analyzing your relationships with others, briefly describe:

a) The type of people you are drawn to
I am drawn to Christians or secularists who are up for a deep conversation or having a fun time, I love going to connect groups and contributing and loving life, I consider myself to be social but I can be quite and an observer instead not enjoying parties except for family gatherings and events like church Friendsgiving.
b) The type of people who are drawn to you
I find that religious people are drawn to me, people that enjoy talking about Christ, from the solemn cold prophet to the bubbly butterfly. I remember back in college I drew almost anyone with my social personality but due to being meds i am more cautious in my speech and therefore I talk to allot less people, I haven't put much thought before.
c) The type of people you are repulsed by
I am repulsed by prideful people that think they're too good for humanity, or nature.

5)What are the traits in others that you admire but you cannot emulate yourself? Elaborate.
I wish I can emulate smiling more, I solemnly smile and love seeing people that are constantly smiling and fluctuating their voice in joy to sadness, and are just generally emotionally free.

6) Describe your relationship with the following:

a) Anger: I get angry allot and can be very argumentized especially if I see perceptive injustice or if I believe I am in the right.

b) Shame: I feel shame when I go against the moral absolutes and feel like I'm doing something immoral.

c) Fear: Rudolph wasn't allowed to monopolize in the school yard so he became a cannibal. LOL!

d) Love/passion: I am very passionate but don't fall in love easly.

e) Conflict: I can get in conflict easily but try to avoid it and and can be avoidant instead of correcting my behavior and resolving it, although there have been many times that I sought resolution.

7) What are some of the themes that have played a prominent role in your life (ie. A struggle you’ve been unable to conquer, ect)?

I have an addictive nature towards fun and adventure and I struggle with being sober minded and always in control of my actions.

8) Answer only one of the following:

a) [College aged and above] What is your area of work/study? Why did you choose this and would you change it? If so, what would be your ideal?
I chose Cyber Security and Forensics so I can do it for the military but I would like to study nursing now that I can't be a part of the military that way I will be able to help others more.
b)[Under college aged] What do you plan on studying/working as in the future? How did you go about deciding this? If this is not your ideal area of pursuit, what would be?

9) When meeting a new person, what do you tend to focus on?
I tend to focus on there body language.
10) How do you feel about humanity as a whole? What do you feel are some of the biggest problems the human race faces and why?
I feel that humanity is generally fallen and each individual needs to focus on being the best person they can be with the gift of grace. People need to focus on being kind, forgiving and accepting forgiveness, Aloha.
11) What are some of your hobbies and interests?

My hobbies and interests are coffee and books, currently reading Anna Karenina, looking forward to Ulysses, war and peace, Infinite Jest, The last temptation of Jesus Christ and The tribes and the states. I also enjoy watching shows, movies, stretching and weight lifting, I believe that the Ryan Gosling Drive is the greatest movie of all time, although that is open to debate.

13) How do you usually “hang out†with your friend(s)? When answering, think about what activities you tend to choose, whether you hang out with one person at once or many, whether or not you initiate the interaction.
I do initiate the conversation, I hang out on a monthly basis in both one to one and in group, I need some interaction time.

14) What is more important, actions or words? Why?
Actions prove a persons words, you will know a person by their fruits.

15) Oh dear, you’ve been cursed by a witch! It’s ok though, you get a choice on which curse you will receive. Will you choose….
a) To never be able to experience the sensation of taste
b) To be immortal
c) To lose your memories
d) To be poor for the rest of your life
e) Or to never experience passion
Elaborate on why!

To be immortal, not much of a curse, I am greedy for life and it can lead me to be a great soldier like fox green ban from seven deadly sins.
16) What do you hope to avoid being? If it helps, describe a person who embodies what you avoid/you as a villain, ect.
I hope to avoid being someone that is stuck up or a mad scientist like Neo cortex from the crash bandicoot serious, having a devilish laugh and always plotting schemes.
17) How do you relate to obsession? Do you tend to "merge" with others or your interests? How do you feel about the idea of doing this?
I do tend to merge with other and their interests and mine, I relate with obsession towards things that give me fulfillment or purpose from time to time when I find an artist or a song that I particularly like I can't help but continuously listen to it for hours, and once I start a mix on youtube I can't help but listen to it till the end.
18) Organized or messy? Plans and blueprints or impulse and surprises? What are you preferences and tendencies?

I have an internal system but looking at my sensory life I can be impulsive and messy. Although I keep my surroundings clean I am not meticulous about it.
19) How do you subjectively view comfort and how do you create comfort in your life and surroundings?
I would love to live a comfortable life, but if I don't I am okay with it, I don't live to eat but instead eat to live, and happiness isn't bought with a price.