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insight into my enneagram type?

nyxphei

New member
Joined
Oct 24, 2021
Messages
8
MBTI Type
void
Enneagram
946
Instinctual Variant
sp
Hi, if anyone’s interested I would like to get some input on my main type and also tritype and instinctual variants if possible. I filled out the questionnaire and also included some results of enneagram tests that I have done for extra info. My MBTI is probably INFP and my Big 5 is RLUEI.

1) Context:
a) What is your age range and general location (Country so that cultural values can be taken into account)? Do you have any impairments that may affect the way that you answer this questionnaire? Any religious or political beliefs (or anything else along those lines) that also might have an effect?

18 year old female, living in Australia (thought I really can't say I feel very Australian). Might have social anxiety.


b) Which types are you currently considering? Why are you considering them and why haven’t you decided on one?


Considering either 6w5 or 9w8, possibly 6w7 or 9w1, and tritype wise 469, and if 9w8 459 could be possible or maybe even 359 or 479 (unlikely however I want to explore all options). Previously I have typed myself as 5w4, 4w5 and 9w8. I relate to 6w5 because I have an issue with doubting things and overthinking, and relate to feeling skepticism/distrust. I also have difficulty trusting my conclusions regarding various things however neither do I really trust other’s conclusions either. 5 wing mostly because I value intelligence and am very withdrawn and introverted and not particularly emotionally expressive, however 7 wing is possible as I am interested in new and interesting experiences and ideas. Also there was a certain time in my life when I was quite stressed and became weirdly obsessed with my intelligence and my grades and was very perfectionistic that makes me wonder whether I was disintegrating to 3 because it was really uncharacteristic of me. However, I am not sure whether I am truly anxious or responsible enough to be a 6. 9 is another option because I have issues with sloth and I think I come across as somewhat calm, and disintegration to 6 could be possible since under stress I am certainly more anxious than usual. 9w8 because I am too expressive of anger to be a 9w1 and relate more to 8 than to 1, however 9w1 could be possible because I can be perfectionistic and I have read that 9w1 is more ‘intellectual’ than 9w8.

Haven’t decided on a type yet because I keep doubting myself and finding things that don’t fit me for each type I consider, and also I suppose I haven’t really had that much life experience which makes things a bit difficult.


2) What do you deem as your purpose in life?
I don’t believe in an objective purpose in life, and frequently have existential crises however I see my personal purpose as fully dedicating myself to my interests, continually exploring new ideas and gathering knowledge, and exploring my inner self and striving to be as authentic as possible.


3) Of the seven deadly sins, which one(s) do you relate to the most and the least and why?
I relate most to sloth, due to being pretty lazy (especially physically), and often not doing things just because I can’t be bothered. I also have a procrastination issue leading me to do things last minute and not really put that much effort into things I am not interested in. I also relate to envy as I see myself as lacking and am very frustrated with various aspects of my life and myself and sort of have a chronic “grass is greener on the other side” problem, causing me to envy what I perceive to be the ideal lifestyle.

I relate the least to lust because I haven’t had any sexual relationships, and haven’t really felt sexual attraction to people in real life.


4) Analyzing your relationships with others, briefly describe:
a) The type of people you are drawn to

Usually people who are on the edge of society, seen as weird by other people or who are just not popular for whatever reason, as I myself chronically feel like an outcast so I suppose I relate to them in the sense of being on the outside.


b) The type of people who are drawn to you
I don’t think people are very drawn to me, but probably the same as above.


c) The type of people you are repulsed by
Fake people, people who are overly normal and don’t express their individuality, people who seem overly perfect and impressive, people who are cruel, overly talkative people, etc.

5)What are the traits in others that you admire but you cannot emulate yourself? Elaborate.

Drive – I struggle with sloth but I would like to be more driven in the things I do and put my ideas into action rather than spending most of my time thinking about things.
Confidence – I am not very self confident due to doubting myself a lot and general shyness, which causes problems.
Charisma – I am really quiet and shy so I doubt I come across as charismatic, however I would like to be charismatic in a dark and mysterious kind of way.


6) Describe your relationship with the following:
a) Anger
I am fairly irritable, and tend to lash out when I am angry through shouting and crying. I find it hard to suppress my anger and if I do it is still quite obvious through my expressions/body language. At the most extreme I can get physically aggressive by hitting/throwing objects and slamming doors. Apparently I can appear quite aggressive at times and it can come on very suddenly from an outside perspective, and the anger dissipates quite quickly too. However, I can’t say that I get truly angry that often.


b) Shame
I have been plagued by shame and self doubt my entire life, over various things including my appearance, my social skills, my intelligence, my abilities, past mistakes and behaviour, etc. I am also ashamed if I do not live up to some kind of ideal self that I have created for myself or if I do not act according to my values/am not authentic to my desires.


c) Fear
I’ve had social anxiety literally since I was born, I was always terrified of people and extremely shy however that seems to improving somewhat with age. I worry about various things, and at times just obsessively overthink about things that aren’t very important, but then am fairly calm about some other things that cause people anxiety such as exams. I also struggle with a fair amount of existential angst.


d) Love/passion

I haven’t really experienced serious romantic love. I do get very passionate and obsessive about particular interests, usually obsessing over them for some time before getting bored and moving on.


e) Conflict
I dislike conflict if I am not involved as it is rather loud and unpleasant however I am somewhat used to it since my parents argue every day. I don’t usually purposely initiate conflict myself however if I have an opposing opinion to someone I will maintain my position and won’t censor myself just to end the conflict, unless I don’t know them well and just don’t really want to talk to them. I do enjoy arguing with my father though and at times will say stuff to purposely spark a dispute.


7) What are some of the themes that have played a prominent role in your life (ie. A struggle you’ve been unable to conquer, etc)?

Issues with shyness and self confidence.
Chronic frustration and discontent with things.
Preoccupation with my identity.
Sense of being an outsider and different from others.


8) What is your area of work/study? Why did you choose this and would you change it? If so, what would be your ideal?

I study computer science, and I am pretty happy with this choice in degree so far. I chose it because I am interested in something both intellectually stimulating and creative, and because it has a lot of opportunities. The fact that it pays pretty well and is in demand is also an added bonus. However, in an ideal world where money was not important I would probably want to be some kind of artist or perhaps a researcher of ancient languages.


9) When meeting a new person, what do you tend to focus on?
I mostly focus on their behaviour and the things they say, and in particular how I feel about them and whether they seem interesting as a person.


10) How do you feel about humanity as a whole? What do you feel are some of the biggest problems the human race faces and why?

I honestly don’t really care for humanity as a whole, though I can’t say I am misanthropic but rather just self-absorbed. As such I find it difficult to be genuinely interested in global issues however I do feel concerned about climate change and poverty and in general am bothered by human suffering. Overall I would say I feel somewhat sorry for humanity as everything seems so insignificant in the bigger picture and yet humans continue to struggle for what seems like no particularly good reason.

11) What are some of your hobbies and interests?

Music – I listen to music pretty much constantly, with my favourite genres being gothic rock, industrial, alternative rock, metal (in particular doom/sludge/black), visual kei, art rock, dark wave, experimental and dream pop/shoegaze. I find great satisfaction in exploring new music and in particular finding obscure and strange music that is unlike anything else really excites me. I am also learning to play electric guitar however I don’t play it as often as I should.

Art – I love to draw, usually fantastical/surrealistic things. I also like to spend time just looking at different art. I am drawn to dark/surreal art mainly, with my favourite artists being Francis Bacon and H.R Giger.

Reading – I read fairly often, mostly fiction and prefer stories with dark/surreal elements and those that focus on a specific character whilst deeply exploring their emotions and internal states. I particularly adore stories involving a descent into madness as I am quite fascinated by madness and strangeness. I also read non-fiction mainly in the form of articles, with the topics that interest me being science, psychology, philosophy, linguistics.

Watching movies/tv shows/anime - Unsurprisingly, the stuff I like to watch also tends to be surrealistic, dark and psychological, some of my favourites being Hannibal, True Detective, Mr Robot, and Serial Experiments Lain. I also love David Lynch's work.

Programming – For uni and for fun. Outside of uni, I am currently learning to create games and hopefully will soon implement some overly-ambitious ideas for games that I have.


13) How do you usually hang out with your friend(s)? When answering, think about what activities you tend to choose, whether you hang out with one person at once or many, whether or not you initiate the interaction.

I only have one friend who I mostly talk to online, so it’s kind of hard for me to answer this, however in online conversations I am not really the one initiating things. I would prefer to hang out with only one person as I feel like I get left out in groups since I am very quiet.

14) What is more important, actions or words? Why?
Actions, because people can lie or say things but not truly mean it.

15) Oh dear, you’ve been cursed by a witch! It’s ok though, you get a choice on which curse you will receive. Will you choose:
a) To never be able to experience the sensation of taste
b) To be immortal
c) To lose your memories
d) To be poor for the rest of your life
e) Or to never experience passion
Elaborate on why!

To never experience taste, because I’m not really interested in food.


16) What do you hope to avoid being? If it helps, describe a person who embodies what you avoid/you as a villain, ect.

Regular, bland, cruel, uncreative, fake, dispassionate, simplistic, following the crowd, only caring about status/wealth, unintelligent, not having strong tastes/judgements, being afraid to face the negative/dark side of things, not curious, shallow, closed-minded.

17) How do you relate to obsession? Do you tend to "merge" with others or your interests? How do you feel about the idea of doing this?
I tend to obsess over my interests and I suppose merge with them in the sense of incorporating them into my identity. I haven’t really experienced merging with people however, I always feel too different from others to do that.


18) Organized or messy? Plans and blueprints or impulse and surprises? What are your preferences and tendencies?
Messy, I dislike it when things are too ordered and enjoy a degree of chaos. I like to have a general idea of what I will do but dislike planning in detail and if I do will often abandon that plan if something interesting and unexpected comes up.


19) How do you subjectively view comfort and how do you create comfort in your life and surroundings?

I value comfort in the sense that I dislike exerting myself particularly strongly, like to sleep well, and like my surroundings to match my tastes. However, I am also interested in exploring ideas that make me uncomfortable and indulging in negative emotions, and I am also really attracted to intense experiences that can change my perception of things, such as drugs. Thus I care more about physical comfort than emotional comfort.
 

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Luminous

༻✧†µllê & §†råwßêrrïê§✧༺
Joined
Oct 25, 2017
Messages
9,736
MBTI Type
Iᑎᖴᑭ
Enneagram
952
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
My guess is 459 sp/sx, either 459 or 495. 4sp seems to fit you fairly well. Hudson said, "It's putting emotions above practical needs" (https://www.typologycentral.com/threads/hudsons-27-type-profiles.109541/) which is just how you phrased your answer for 19. 5 seems very clear to me over 6, with your emphasis on knowledge and combined with 4, the interest in the darker sides of things. If not core 4, then likely 9 (not sure on the wing).
 

RadicalDoubt

Alongside Questionable Clarity
Joined
Jun 27, 2017
Messages
1,843
MBTI Type
TiSi
Enneagram
9w1
Instinctual Variant
sp/so
I think this is most consistent with 4w5, this sounds consistent with the reactive triad. I agree with the above that you are likely a sp/sx. The way you describe sloth sounds familiar with the general withdrawn triad and there's a lot more themes of frustration and shame then anger or fear and there is a certain emotional indulgence that I think is most consistent with 4. I sort of saw a bit of 6 in the way you describe connecting to outcastes and the strong tendency to express/distaste for dispassion and would pair with your doubt and tendency to enhance/look towards generating "high" emotional states, hence I think 496 as a tritype makes sense (I see more 9 than 6). 495 could work too, you seem as though you're potentially head last with head influence coming primarily from a wing.
 

nyxphei

New member
Joined
Oct 24, 2021
Messages
8
MBTI Type
void
Enneagram
946
Instinctual Variant
sp
Thanks for your inputs! I’m kind of surprised because I didn’t think I came off so 4ish. 4w5 was what I typed as most recently before I started to doubt everything about my typing lol, partly because of the stuff I read on enneagrammer.com, and while I admit to having a sort of intellectual superiority/inferiority thing going on in my teens I’m really not as elitist or disagreeable or hateful as they portray 4s to be (though my family often tell me I’m too picky and hate too many things), nor do I feel completely alien and separate from the world. Also I’m not sure I’m sensitive/emotional/dramatic enough and outwardly expressive enough to be a 4, I believe I come across as self-absorbed but pretty calm from the outside. Furthermore, I can't really pinpoint any incidences of disintegration to 2/integration to 1 in my life, honestly I feel like I have disintegrated to 1 before in the sense of self-loathing and criticism of myself about not living up to my ideal self (like I mentioned before I had a period when I was obsessed with intelligence and being intellectual as my identity and as such typed as 5w4, becoming quite insecure about my own intellectual abilities causing me to be exteremely frustrated with myself when I made even small mistakes, whilst at the same time also having moments of intellectual superiority and trying to desperately cling to a sense of being deep/gifted). I really can't relate to 2 though, it's the type that seems most foreign to me. I suppose I did have a period of time when I really romanticised mental illness and sort of indulged in a self-image of being sickly and depressed, to the point that I purposely slept less and ate less just so I could feel more tormented and have bigger under eye bags/be more skeletal to give off that tormented vibe, maybe as a way to gain love/attention sort of in a disintegration to 2ish way? I really relished teachers/other people thinking there was something wrong with me. It's embarassing now but I had this ideal self of being some kind of tormented eccentric genius, probably related to reading and becoming obsessed with the book Frankenstein. I still often fantasise about being sick/broken and being kind of pitied by other people, I enjoy indulging in thoughts of being stabbed or going mad, though I am aware that I would definetly not want that to happen in real life and it is honestly quite ridiculous.

The description of sp4 @Luminous linked does fit me quite well, much more than sp6 or sp9 (I never really related to the countertype 4 description except maybe for the part about not being very emotionally expressive, because it seemed very 1ish/3ish and those are two of the types I least relate to), however I am rather stingy and concerned about money so I’m not sure I’m indulgent enough in terms of buying beautiful things at the expense of being broke like described. Of course, I’ve never worked and had much money myself which is why I am so possessive of the money I do have, so maybe this will change in the future. I also feel like much more of a head type than a heart/gut type because of all the thinking and overthinking I do, and at times prioritize what is reasonable over what I feel like doing. So I’m somewhat surprised at the possibility of being head last. I'm also described as being pretty logical rather than sensitive/emotional, in particular compared to my younger sister who is super sensitive to criticism (probably an ISFJ 6w7 629) and in general she is more emotionally expressive and sensitive to other people, whilst I am not as sensitive to criticism because I don't really feel the need to please people. I'd say the main reason why I prefer to keep my emotions to myself is because I feel like no one can truly understand them anyway, and whenever I get upset in public I have felt that people sort of try to cheer me up and I really hate being cheered up because I need to process my emotions fully, and it feels dismissive of people to just try to hurry up and make me feel better. Also whenever I got upset I felt like my mother saw it as silly, even though she is extremely caring I just felt like she was somewhat dismissive which made me feel even worse, so now I mostly withdraw if I am feeling upset, and if I start crying in public I just want people to leave me alone and aggressively push them away until they do.

Also I’ve been researching enneagram and personality theories since I was 13 (with breaks) and still haven’t decided my type which made me think I was one of the indecisive 6s or 9s. Now that I think about it 13 seems rather early to study this sort of thing. The first type I properly considered was actually 9w8 which seems kind of strange for a 4 to mistype as, though I think it is because there was a lot of conflict in my home at that time which made acutely aware of how I disliked conflict and just wanted peace, and when I was younger I was not as dark and pessimistic as I am now but actually quite sunny, though still rather shameful and envious and constantly dreaming about an ideal self/life.

Regarding instinctual variant, is it possible for sp/sx to have social anxiety? Because it seems strange that someone blind to social would worry about being judged negatively, and be somewhat aware of social faux pas. Also, I don’t really experience strong romantic/sexual attraction which made me doubt being sx secondary especially reading enneagrammer’s descriptions of the instincts, however I definetely long to deeply connect to a particular someone. Apart from these things I feel like the vibe of sp/sx fits me more than sp/so when I read the descriptions of those two, in particular the association with death and the underworld is quite appealing to me, and I really resonate with the nicknames for sp/sx on enneagrammer.com over those for sp/so. I’m usually more confused about soc things than sx things, for example I feel kind of repulsed by the idea of belonging to something greater than myself, even something as small as a sports team or identifiying with a fandom or subculture, I just seem to lack the desire to connect with a group of people which frequently confuses others. When meeting people if they do not immediately spark something in me then I don’t even really bother trying to connect with them further, so I find the idea of slowly developing an interest in someone kind of strange, especially with regards to romance (I like to believe in love at first sight). In general I don’t do casual connections anyway and the idea of having some kind of social network is extremely foreign to me, to the point that I only use social media to post my art rather than connect to people. Another thing I find people I know can’t really relate to is my craving for some kind of intensity, I also have a weird attraction to self-destruction despite being very security conscious and not being very destructive in general so far in my life.

So could all this still be consistent with 4w5 sp/sx?
 
Last edited:

RadicalDoubt

Alongside Questionable Clarity
Joined
Jun 27, 2017
Messages
1,843
MBTI Type
TiSi
Enneagram
9w1
Instinctual Variant
sp/so
Thanks for your inputs! I’m kind of surprised because I didn’t think I came off so 4ish. 4w5 was what I typed as most recently before I started to doubt everything about my typing lol, partly because of the stuff I read on enneagrammer.com, and while I admit to having a sort of intellectual superiority/inferiority thing going on in my teens I’m really not as elitist or disagreeable or hateful as they portray 4s to be (though my family often tell me I’m too picky and hate too many things), nor do I feel completely alien and separate from the world. Also I’m not sure I’m sensitive/emotional/dramatic enough and outwardly expressive enough to be a 4, I believe I come across as self-absorbed but pretty calm from the outside. Furthermore, I can't really pinpoint any incidences of disintegration to 2/integration to 1 in my life, honestly I feel like I have disintegrated to 1 before in the sense of self-loathing and criticism of myself about not living up to my ideal self and just general pickiness about everything. I really can't relate to 2 though, it's the type that seems most foreign to me. I suppose I did have a period of time when I really romanticised mental illness and sort of indulged in a self-image of being sickly and depressed, maybe as a way to gain love/attention sort of in a disintegration to 2ish way? I really relished teachers/other people thinking there was something wrong with me. Also I often fantasise about being sick/broken and being kind of pitied by other people, like I enjoy indulging in thoughts of being stabbed or going mad, though I am aware that I would definetly not want that to happen in real life and it is honestly quite ridiculous.

The description of sp4 @Luminous linked does fit me quite well, much more than sp6 or sp9 (I never really related to the countertype 4 description except maybe for the part about not being very emotionally expressive, because it seemed very 1ish/3ish and those are two of the types I least relate to), however I am rather stingy and concerned about money so I’m not sure I’m indulgent enough in terms of buying beautiful things at the expense of being broke like described. Of course, I’ve never worked and had much money myself which is why I am so possessive of the money I do have, so maybe this will change in the future. I also feel like much more of a head type than a heart/gut type because of all the thinking and overthinking I do, and at times prioritize what is reasonable over what I feel like doing. So I’m somewhat surprised at the possibility of being head last. I'm also described as being pretty logical rather than sensitive/emotional, in particular compared to my younger sister who is super sensitive to criticism (probably an ISFJ 6w7 629) and in general she is more emotionally expressive and sensitive to other people, whilst I am not as sensitive to criticism because I don't really feel the need to please people. I'd say the main reason why I prefer to keep my emotions to myself is because I feel like no one can truly understand them anyway, and whenever I get upset in public I have felt that people sort of try to cheer me up and I really hate being cheered up because I need to process my emotions fully, and it feels dismissive of people to just try to hurry up and make me feel better. Also whenever I got upset I felt like my mother saw it as silly, even though she is extremely caring I just felt like she was somewhat dismissive which made me feel even worse, so now I mostly withdraw if I am feeling upset, and if I start crying in public I just want people to leave me alone and aggressively push them away until they do.

Also I’ve been researching enneagram and personality theories since I was 13 (with breaks) and still haven’t decided my type which made me think I was one of the indecisive 6s or 9s. Now that I think about it 13 seems rather early to study this sort of thing. The first type I properly considered was actually 9w8 which seems kind of strange for a 4 to mistype as, though I think it is because there was a lot of conflict in my home at that time which made acutely aware of how I disliked conflict and just wanted peace, and when I was younger I was not as dark and pessimistic as I am now but actually quite sunny, though still rather shameful and envious and constantly dreaming about an ideal self/life.

Regarding instinctual variant, is it possible for sp/sx to have social anxiety? Because it seems strange that someone blind to social would worry about being judged negatively, and be somewhat aware of social faux pas. Also, I don’t really experience strong romantic/sexual attraction which made me doubt being sx secondary especially reading enneagrammer’s descriptions of the instincts. Apart from these things I feel like the vibe of sp/sx fits me more than sp/so when I read the descriptions of those two, in particular the association with death and the underworld is quite appealing to me, and I really resonate with the nicknames for sp/sx on enneagrammer.com over those for sp/so. I’m usually more confused about soc things than sx things, for example I feel kind of repulsed by the idea of belonging to something greater than myself, even something as small as a sports team or identifiying with a fandom or subculture, I just seem to lack the desire to connect with a group of people which frequently confuses others. When meeting people if they do not immediately spark something in me then I don’t even really bother trying to connect with them further, so I find the idea of slowly developing an interest in someone kind of strange, especially with regards to romance (I like to believe in love at first sight). In general I don’t do casual connections anyway and the idea of having some kind of social network is extremely foreign to me, to the point that I only use social media to post my art rather than connect to people. Another thing I find people I know can’t really relate to is my craving for some kind of intensity, I also have a weird attraction to self-destruction despite being very security conscious and not being very destructive in general so far in my life.

So could all this still be consistent with 4w5 sp/sx?
I think a lot of this could be consistent with 4w5 sp/sx (and I could be totally wrong with the implication of you being head last; A strong wing would also intensify the heady feel of the type). You are not the only 4 I've heard who struggles to relate to type 2, especially by core fears and base behavior (and I think this would be intensified by soc last; What you describe in your last paragraph makes me pretty confident that you were soc last, the "sexuality of the sexual instinct does not necessarily have to be actually sexual especially since it would be a bit weird if people with certain sexualities were barred from being certain types; Lumi can probably describe that far better than me since I am very sx last). What you described as 2 disintegration is actually pretty on point with disintegration to 2 though tbh, it doesn't mean you become characteristically 2. Sp4 is the least outwardly broadcasting of the 4 subtypes especially with soc blindness (since the soc 4 archetype is the one that specifically broadcasts vulnerability and is most outwardly expressionate). Sp4 is known for being the archetype of someone who silently endures shame and, paired with 5, a type that is very analysis heavy, could appear fairly rational. Especially sp4s (and people as a whole) are not inclined to share their emotions with people who will not understand them, which leads some 4s to be very internalized about expression or to express in alternative ways (eg. music) that are less likely to be misinterpreted or are more personalized (and even secretive). 5 is also very much about "information is sacred," 4w5 is often less outwardly expressive and private than 4w3 generally speaking. 9 and 5 would also dull emotional expression, Lumi could've been right in seeing the 5 in you (although so far most of your expression dulling seems either situational or 9 based, hence I'm still partial to 9 second; You know yourself best though if you really do feel as though it is unfitting). 4, especially 4w5, is consistently described as intellectual and analytical and is often motivated to be such. Perhaps it is common for 4 to be of the melancholy temperament, but I don't think every 4 is highly dreary as a person since they value emotions as a whole, positive or negative (and generally, it does sound like you have a lot of 9 influence).

I don't think 9w8 is a weird mistype either for 4, albiet maybe a bit less common than a mistype as 1 or 5 (it's about on par with a mistype as 6 I believe). Many true 4s will not immediately identify with 4 often because the descriptions because the descriptions are very romantisized and some heavily demonized (the sx4 description, while fitting a portion of sx4s for example (especially the unhealthy ones), is often hyperdramatisized). 4s whole thing is having a very subjective and sometimes romanticized sense of identity because they connect deeply to themselves and their emotions and are also image types which sometimes generates a challenge in relating to more generalized descriptions and especially considering your background would give a connection with the 9 archetype. Your motivations behind why you behave this way is very 4, however, based on how you describe it. You seem to connect strongly to your emotions and uncomfortable topics, which is also uncharacteristic of e9 (ie. I love things that are traditionally uncomfortable as a 9, but will immediately backtrack as soon as they have a personal connection or is outside the realm of my control, which is a common example of how 9 would deal with this).

All in all, what you describe here sounds very 4, but if that really doesn't resonate with you, I think 9 would be more likely than 6 because I see more reasoning for 9 than 6.
 

nyxphei

New member
Joined
Oct 24, 2021
Messages
8
MBTI Type
void
Enneagram
946
Instinctual Variant
sp
Thanks for clearing my doubts, and also your insight as a 9 yourself. I suppose it just feels weird to consider myself a sp/sx 4w5 since I feel like they are really romanticised in descriptions and considered rare, plus a lot of people seem to mistype as this type. To be honest I'm no longer overly attached to identifying with a certain type anyway (like I did when typing as 5w4), I just want to find something that fits.
 

Luminous

༻✧†µllê & §†råwßêrrïê§✧༺
Joined
Oct 25, 2017
Messages
9,736
MBTI Type
Iᑎᖴᑭ
Enneagram
952
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
the "sexuality of the sexual instinct does not necessarily have to be actually sexual especially since it would be a bit weird if people with certain sexualities were barred from being certain types; Lumi can probably describe that far better than me since I am very sx last)
https://www.typologycentral.com/threads/instinctual-zones.106991/

Yes, the three zones of sx according to Hudson, are attraction, exploration/edge, and fusion/merging. Having difficulties holding yourself to what isn't interesting to you, what you're not attracted to, what doesn't spark you, being dedicated and obsessive about what does spark you, merging with it, and enjoying exploring and the edge (it seemed most of your interests were attractions to an edge of darkness?) are reflected in your answers. Then your answers also make clear that soc isn't where you spend much time.

If the stuff on enneagrammer about 4s seemed really off, I wouldn't think 9 is unlikely. You've got the 9 issue of rumination going on, and 9s can be very daydreamy and idealistic (they tend to look for happily-ever-afters as opposed to 4s being more okay with unhappy dark dreams). With your having 4 in your tritype, sx second, and a possible 8 wing, that would add a lot of fire, reactivity, and more darkness to 9. I thought I was a 4 at first, but am a 9 (which I saw partly due to the people over at enneagrammer).

Regarding social anxiety, I don't think there's any reason one couldn't have it and be so blind. It may be something unrelated, as in it's chemical, especially if you've suffered with it from a young age. Or it could be related to how it's more difficult for us so-blinds to naturally find the bonds we do want and need as humans (I've struggled with that). Regardless, I hope it continues to ease for you and that you'll find more confidence and satisfaction.

You seem a very intelligent and thoughtful person, with a lot of depth and insight. Whether you're a 4 or 5 or 6 or 9, learning more about the types and how they can be healthier versions of themselves, is going to be helpful to you.
 
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