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How do you handle patterns of behavior and feelings that you do not understand

Ghost of the dead horse

filling some space
Joined
Sep 7, 2007
Messages
3,540
MBTI Type
ENTJ
Understanding has been my key to success in life. I've sometimes used that key and sometimes not, but the key is there and I'm happy to have it. I haven't feared the unknown because I've had the capability understand what I've wanted, for the most part of life.

Now we don't understand ourselves fully and I for for one, do not. I sometimes explore some new feelings, situations and themes which are unknown, and I'm in some kind of control. Some situations, feelings and patterns also throw me into the unknown. Control doesn't mean there's understanding and understanding doesn't mean the same as control, but there's some overlap.

So here's a questionaire after the preface.

*Do you have patterns of behavior where you don't act on your full understanding? Is improvisation, thinking outside the box, going to new situations, going to places you've never been to, pushing your mental limits, or what? Please elaborate.
*What do you rely on if you don't understand it?
*How does it feel to have behaved in ways you did not expect?
*Do you enjoy these situations where you do something unexpected, or are you perhaps seeking to end that kind of behavior?
*What mental processes you usually rely on to understand something? Are rational thinking processes a priority for you, or perhaps emotional?
*Do you like to have control or to lose control?
*If you try take control over some issue, do you try to act first, or understand it first?
 

Ghost of the dead horse

filling some space
Joined
Sep 7, 2007
Messages
3,540
MBTI Type
ENTJ
Do you have patterns of behavior where you don't act on your full understanding? Is improvisation, thinking outside the box, going to new situations, going to places you've never been to, pushing your mental limits, or what? Please elaborate.
I've made a plan, I'm following it up but at a sudden it doesn't seem like worth following up anymore. New situations have come up and I now wonder if I should reshedule, plan up again, take a new course. Why it feels like that? Often I continue from other unfinished plans so many of the plans end up being continued, and finished, but I can't explain where these feelings come up. It's unconscious.
What do you rely on if you don't understand it?
There's the belief that I can continue on some kinds of plans even if there's no consistency and certainty in executing them. There are loose ends that I leave and then I can pick up the loose ends later.
How does it feel to have behaved in ways you did not expect?
It's exciting, surprising and frustrating. Satisfying as well when I know I've been able to surprise myself. Being too much in control of myself was a problem for me in the past. Then again, not being control of myself means repeating different kinds of mistakes, and it's a different kind of disappointment.
Do you enjoy these situations where you do something unexpected, or are you perhaps seeking to end that kind of behavior?
I try to schedule in some unexpected things. Often I handle surprises well so they are a delight for me. There's the problem that I can't seem to be able to turn random ideas off completely. Even though I've found out that consistency is the way to perform some long task optimally, I might wake up tired some morning and I don't feel like doing the chores and routines set for that day. Some tasks might go undone a long time because I feel about them differently. I would like to reduce that kind of inconsistency in my behavior.
What mental processes you usually rely on to understand something? Are rational thinking processes a priority for you, or perhaps emotional?
Conscious factual rationality is the way to go for me, supplemented by unconscious moods and inner life
Do you like to have control or to lose control?
It's about alternating the two of them and knowing which tasks benefit more from either approach
If you try take control over some issue, do you try to act first, or understand it first?
I go by some proto-understanding, it's not a full understanding, but it's a partial understanding. These kinds of partial understandings can come quickly, and them I'm ready to act. I'm prepared to add more understanding to my behavior and my actions as I go.
 

highlander

Administrator
Staff member
Joined
Dec 23, 2009
Messages
25,200
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
6w5
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
*Do you have patterns of behavior where you don't act on your full understanding? Is improvisation, thinking outside the box, going to new situations, going to places you've never been to, pushing your mental limits, or what? Please elaborate.

I don't ever act on "full understanding" because it's impossible. I lead with intuition and follow that with logic. The direction can always change if new facts or information presents itself that contradicts what I thought. It's hard to describe how I make decisions but there is so much uncertainty in the world, I rely on a kind of divining rod approach. I can make decisions very quickly or can take much more time for something that's really important.

*What do you rely on if you don't understand it?

Again, I rely in intuition. I believe what Ni types do is collect and amass a huge amount of information and then discern the insight out of that which is then tested by logic and facts. The accuracy of the insight or conclusion definitely corresponds to the quality of information that's input though. I can be completely and entirely wrong if I lack information or have bad information.

*How does it feel to have behaved in ways you did not expect?

I don't recall a time when I've done that. I believe I know myself pretty well.

*Do you enjoy these situations where you do something unexpected, or are you perhaps seeking to end that kind of behavior?

Can't answer because of the answer to the last question.

*What mental processes you usually rely on to understand something? Are rational thinking processes a priority for you, or perhaps emotional?

I described the mental process above. I'm very rational/logical on the one hand but trust my intuition more on the other. It's a way of taking shortcuts. I can get to the answer without a tremendous amount of analysis. Then I can test my thinking by asking others what they think.

*Do you like to have control or to lose control?

Have control obviously but then control is an illusion of sorts. I'm not hung up about it.

*If you try take control over some issue, do you try to act first, or understand it first?

Ask questions, say what I think and hear what others have to say, facilitate a dialogue, etc. I don't seek to consciously control things but suppose I can and often do.
 

тень

Eclipsing
Joined
Jun 20, 2018
Messages
5,842
MBTI Type
TiNi
Enneagram
649
Instinctual Variant
sp
*Do you have patterns of behavior where you don't act on your full understanding? Is improvisation, thinking outside the box, going to new situations, going to places you've never been to, pushing your mental limits, or what? Please elaborate.

I act with what I know, but change it as I go along when I receive new information. I definitely am aware of how things can play out, and I am not always certain my way is best. But yeah, you can't just wait for certainty.

*What do you rely on if you don't understand it?

If I don't understand something, I look for patterns and try to predict how something may happen with what I have. I will also compare it to similar past experiences if given enough time. In the moment though, I trust gut feeling.

*How does it feel to have behaved in ways you did not expect?

Depends on if it resulted in a positive, or negative outcome. Sometimes I learn something, sometimes I feel like shit.

*Do you enjoy these situations where you do something unexpected, or are you perhaps seeking to end that kind of behavior?

See above.

*What mental processes you usually rely on to understand something? Are rational thinking processes a priority for you, or perhaps emotional?

I don't really go through life thinking "Is this logical?" or "I am using logic?". I just know, and understand things, or do not. I act on that feeling, and sometimes I have to double check. If I don't understand something at all, I will figure it out using what I can.

*Do you like to have control or to lose control?

I probably have too much control in my life. I wouldn't miss losing some of it.

*If you try take control over some issue, do you try to act first, or understand it first?

I only take full control over myself, not others or situations. I will only take control of an issue if it is affecting me directly. I usually seek to understand first, definitely. I can formulate a plan of action over something for years in my head before actually acting on it.
 

silverknightgothic

i'm ready, aim and fire
Joined
Sep 20, 2017
Messages
4,952
MBTI Type
LEFV
Enneagram
461
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
I hope what I say makes sense and doesn't just sound like a bunch of bullshit.

*Do you have patterns of behavior where you don't act on your full understanding? Is improvisation, thinking outside the box, going to new situations, going to places you've never been to, pushing your mental limits, or what? Please elaborate.

As people have said above me, I can't reach a point of "full understanding." I do like doing my research before I jump into new things; it not only gets me prepared, but if I'm interested in whatever I'm about to do, it can get me excited. It's always most effective to just jump into something for me to understand it rather than just reading about it, and actually doing things is a great way to challenge myself mentally.

*What do you rely on if you don't understand it?

If I don't understand something right away, I do tend to fall into frustration that I'm too stupid to ever understand it. I'm too dumb to understand a lot of things, so I just try to become as educated as I can about it. If I gather as much information as I can inside my mind on a topic, I can try filling in the holes. I'm a details person, but if I get enough of it, I can connect it and find the big picture with enough brainpower.

*How does it feel to have behaved in ways you did not expect?

I become scared of myself whenever it happens. I feel sort of possessed, in a way, and then try to analyze WHY I partook in the unexpected behavior. I really want to understand myself as best as I can.

*Do you enjoy these situations where you do something unexpected, or are you perhaps seeking to end that kind of behavior?

I seek to end it. I want to understand why I do the things I do. I hate not knowing.

*What mental processes you usually rely on to understand something? Are rational thinking processes a priority for you, or perhaps emotional?

I try to understand new information through rational thinking. Not sure how to explain it. It's sort of a combination between my head and gut. I'm always looking for things to make sense to me through both past experiences and information I already know that I think connects to whatever I'm trying to understand. Of course, emotional reasoning comes into it, but I try my best not to be guided by my emotions, which can be rather difficult at times.

*Do you like to have control or to lose control?

I can never have enough control. I end up in a lot of guilt whenever I do end up losing it. I've noticed that I don't have the best control over my emotions, which is one of my least favorite aspects of myself.

*If you try take control over some issue, do you try to act first, or understand it first?

I perceive myself to be a fool whenever I act without understanding something first. I only do that when I lose control, actually. I think it's important to have at least some sort of idea about something before I can do it.
 
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