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Help me figure out my Enneagram type!

bwaves

New member
Joined
Sep 9, 2020
Messages
5
I have taken every Enneagram test on the Internet (including the official one that I had to pay for), and I'm still not sure what my type is. For a long time, I thought I was a 6... but I have doubts about it fairly often. The tests I've taken have given me every result except for 2 and 8. I've studied each type in depth on multiple websites, and still, I really have no idea. I always thought of myself as someone who was very self-aware, but reading about these types makes me feel like I don't know myself as well as I thought.

Please direct me to a questionnaire I can fill out so that you all can help me figure out my type!
 

bwaves

New member
Joined
Sep 9, 2020
Messages
5
Maybe this will help:

People see me as easygoing but I am actually very uptight. People think I get along with most everyone - I can easily talk to people and relate to people - but deep down, I don't enjoy very many people's company. I get extremely overstimulated and anxious when I'm around a lot of people, and I have to spend time alone (or with my significant other) to recharge. I like to talk about what I believe in (socially, politically, and spiritually) and will stand up for what I think is right in that sense, but I avoid personal/relational confrontations at all costs; I will never confront someone about how they've treated me (unless it's my significant other, who I am very straightforward with). I am extremely conscious of how I talk to people. When I realize I've come across as rude, I feel extremely guilty and reflect on it for several days. I think I'm good at reading people's body language and picking up on how they're feeling. When someone upsets me, I withdrawal and avoid them. I've lost many friends this way because I become so sad/mad about how they've treated me, I resent them. It's easy for people to upset me because I take everything personally. I realize all of this makes me sound like a type 9, but the people closest to me (my family members and significant other) would NEVER say that I'm non-confrontational or submissive - I'm very outspoken/opinionated with them. I just hold everything in when it comes relationships with friends, coworkers, etc. I'm a very responsible person who follows the rules and gets things done in a timely manner. I'm never late and, in general, I worry a lot about how my actions affect other people. That being said, I am not a good friend (which seems contradictory) because I don't really like to be around other people. I don't go out of my way to take care of people or be emotionally supportive, but I absolutely will be if I'm face-to-face with them for fear of coming across as rude. I have never cared about being popular or trendy, and I really don't like to be the center of attention. Some people in my life may find this surprising because it is so easy for me to talk to people and be relatable. My friends and coworkers would describe me as funny and goofy, and that's true to an extent, but I can also be very temperamental/sensitive/moody/introspective in private. I don't like to adhere to a strict schedule if it's set by other people, but I do like to follow a schedule if I'm the one who created it. I don't ask people for advice, and I don't ask for help; I like to figure things out on my own. I am an independent thinker. If someone tells me what to do, I will go along with it in public but always do the opposite in private. I like to explore and be adventurous, but I am not a thrill seeker. The things that excite me in life are things I find comforting, like going to the beach, trying a new coffee shop, picking apples at an orchard, going hiking, etc. I am also a very imaginative person who is constantly daydreaming, thinking, wondering, etc. When I find something I'm interested in, I spend weeks learning about it; I get very obsessive, and it's all I care/think about. I'm not someone who needs to be in control in a work or social environment (I let others take the lead on projects at work because I'm not very passionate about my job, I let my friends choose where to eat, etc.), but when it comes to making personal decisions, I'm very controlling and like to do things on my own. I don't seek input, and I don't want people to make decisions for me when it's something I care about. I also really care about social issues and am constantly advocating for things I care about. My significant other, whom I've been dating for 10 years, says the number one word he would use to describe me is "caring" - what he loves most about me is how much I care about fighting for people (and animals) who can't fight for themselves. It's something I feel guilty about because though I am very passionate, charitable, advocatory, etc. I'm not a very good/caring friend to people I know personally. It makes me feel conflicted inside.
 

bwaves

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Joined
Sep 9, 2020
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5

1) Context:
a) What is your age range and general location (Country so that cultural values can be taken into account)? Do you have any impairments that may affect the way that you answer this questionnaire? Any religious or political beliefs (or anything else along those lines) that also might have an effect?
I'm in my twenties and live in the United States.

b) Which types are you currently considering? Why are you considering them and why haven’t you decided on one?
Type 1: I'm a rule follower. I have a strong sense of right and wrong. I'm very critical of myself, and I feel guilty if I perceive myself as not being hard-working enough, healthy enough, social enough, charitable enough, etc. (but I feel that criticism is the most present when I'm in an anxious/depressed state). I've always done things "the right way" or "by the book" and am not a thrill seeker or someone who is rebellious. However, I am not in any way perfectionistic... I can definitely go with the flow in order to avoid conflict, and I don't feel bad doing things "half-assed" if it's something I don't care about. If I'm not passionate about a task (like at work) I will get it done on time but not with full effort.
Type 4: I'm very sensitive, moody, and introspective. I spend a lot of time reflecting on who I am and how I spend my time. I'm introverted, and sometimes, I fear that I'm also self-absorbed. I'm a dreamer. However, I have never really cared about impressing people with my individuality. I don't withdrawal to protect my image - I withdrawal because people drain my energy. I'm very relaxed in terms of how I present myself physically and aesthetically.
Type 5: I'm extremely perceptive and observant. I love to learn, and I dive head first into topics I'm interested in and become obsessed with them. I don't like to take people's "word for it" - rather, I like to research things and figure them out on my own. I don't trust most people's opinions or advice, unless they're people very close to me, like my parents and significant other. I don't like when people tell me what to do or act like they know better than I do (though I would never let them know that - I would go along with what they say, and do what I want in private). However, I don't feel like I'm quite as quiet or detached as a 5. I also don't think I fear being incompetent or incapable - I already believe that I am competent and capable.
Type 6: I am very responsible and a rule follower. I've always been fairly secure and would not do something to risk de-stabilizing my life. I play things pretty safely. I can be very suspicious of people if I have a reason to question their character. I'm also extremely anxious (I have an anxiety disorder), which drew me to this type. However, I don't rely on others to make decisions, and I'm not very loyal to friends (though I am to my family and significant other). I don't need constant reassurance.
Type 9: Nowadays, this is the type I feel most drawn to. I will debate politics/social issues/spirituality all day long.. but I avoid personal/relational confrontations at all costs. If I have a problem with someone, I just avoid them. I've lost a lot of friends this way because if I feel like someone has been rude to me, I just resent them and block them out of my life. My way of "standing up for myself" is just cutting the bad people out, and I think it's because I can't handle confrontation. I'd also rather let people in groups makes decisions for me (like letting a coworker take the lead on a project or letting a friend decide where to eat). I always feel like my opinion on those things isn't as "strong" therefore I should let someone with a stronger opinion decide. I'm extremely conscious of how I speak to people, and I make a real effort to make sure I don't hurt anyone's feelings. I overthink every single interaction I have with people. I'm also very perceptive and feel like I can really pick up on people's body language and mood. However, I do really fight for the social/political issues I care about, and I will call out hypocrisy in other people's views if I feel like they're not doing what's right. It's the personal/relational confrontations that I can't do.

2) What do you deem as your purpose in life?
To make real change in the issues I care about (animal welfare and human rights) and find my way spiritually/become closer to God. I really want my career to revolve around something I care about and can advocate for.

3) Of the seven deadly sins, which one(s) do you relate to the most and the least and why?
I relate the most to pride (because deep down, I do think that I have this notion that I'm better than other people - I'm doing things the right way, I'm fighting for the greater good, etc. and I'm ashamed of that arrogance) and sloth (because I feel guilty when I'm not being my best self).

4) Analyzing your relationships with others, briefly describe:
a) The type of people you are drawn to
Relaxed, intellectual, introspective people who can have long, meaningful conversations with me. I don't like small talk, and I don't like awkwardness. I like people who are confident and not "trying too hard". I really don't like obnoxiousness, and I'm not drawn to people who "party".

b) The type of people who are drawn to you
People who like to really dive deep into their emotions and issues they may be dealing with. People tell me I'm a good listener, but I think I'm just good at reassuring them. I don't like to hug people or be very emotionally involved, but I am good at helping them feel better in other ways. I am good at sensing people's deeper feelings and intentions, and it allows me to tell them what they want to hear.

c) The type of people you are repulsed by
People who say exactly how they feel all the time with a blatant disregard for how it might make other people feel. Blatant honesty really turns me off. I really don't like show-offs or people who constantly need to be the center of attention. I really hate immaturity. And most of all, I really cannot stand to even be around people who are not compassionate (in this context, I mean socially/politically). If someone can ignore the suffering of others, and all they care about is "me me me" it infuriates me.

5)What are the traits in others that you admire but you cannot emulate yourself? Elaborate.
Loyalty to their friends. It's extremely draining for me to be around people for long periods of time (because I have to make such an effort to be nice/likable), so I avoid a lot of social interactions... but I do love my close friends and wish I would make more of an effort to spend time with them. I also wish I could stop worrying about everything - what I say, how I come across, whether or not I'm "doing enough", etc. I have constant anxiety, and I constantly feel guilty for letting that anxiety get in the way of being a really charitable, supportive, happy, generous person.

6) Describe your relationship with the following:
a) Anger
I hold a lot of anger in, and I really only let my significant other and parents see it. My anger makes me cry. I am angry at people who don't care as much about certain issues as I do, and I am angry at people who treat me poorly despite my effort to be kind to them. I can also be angry at myself for not doing enough.

b) Shame
I feel extremely ashamed when I feel like I'm being hypocritical, self-serving, or arrogant. I feel like I'm fairly self-aware, and I reflect on my actions a lot and feel ashamed of myself. I like the person I am (at my core), but sometimes my anxiety pushes me away from that person, and then I feel shameful for not being my best self.

c) Fear
I have an anxiety disorder, so I don't feel like I can really answer this one. I'm anxious/fearful a lot.

d) Love/passion
I've been with the same person since I was in high school. I love him, and we're best friends. Not much more to it than that.

e) Conflict
I already expanded on this a lot.

7) What are some of the themes that have played a prominent role in your life (ie. A struggle you’ve been unable to conquer, ect)?
I have a lot of family issues, and I get really stuck in my head about them sometimes. Don't really want to expand here.

8) Answer only one of the following:
a) [College aged and above] What is your area of work/study? Why did you choose this and would you change it? If so, what would be your ideal?
I work in communications/writing/marketing/design. I would like to continue to do this, but for a nonprofit or some other company that advocates for what I believe in.

b)[Under college aged] What do you plan on studying/working as in the future? How did you go about deciding this? If this is not your ideal area of pursuit, what would be?
N/A

9) When meeting a new person, what do you tend to focus on?
Whether or not they're polite. Do they have good manners? Are they making an effort? Are they really listening to what I'm saying, or are they brushing me off? What does their body language suggest (eye rolls, arms crossed, facing away from me, raising their eyebrows, etc.)? Are they saying things or acting a certain way to get attention?

11) What are some of your hobbies and interests?
Going on walks, hiking, trying new coffee shops, vacationing at the beach, listening to music, hanging out with my boyfriend and dog (my best friends in the whole world), cooking, and journaling.

13) How do you usually “hang out” with your friend(s)? When answering, think about what activities you tend to choose, whether you hang out with one person at once or many, whether or not you initiate the interaction.
I almost never initiate hanging out with my friends, but if it's up to me, I choose to catch up over coffee (short and sweet) or grab breakfast/lunch/dinner. Sometimes my friends want to go shopping with me or have movie nights at their houses, but I get anxious leading up to things like that because I have less control.

14) What is more important, actions or words? Why?
Both equally.

17) How do you relate to obsession? Do you tend to "merge" with others or your interests? How do you feel about the idea of doing this?
When I'm face-to-face with other people, I will try to relate to their interests. However, I really do my own thing personally. My interests are usually very specific and odd. When I find a topic I like, I completely submerge myself in it, and it's all I care about for weeks.

18) Organized or messy? Plans and blueprints or impulse and surprises? What are you preferences and tendencies?
Completely in between. I have always followed the rules and done things the "right way" which makes people think I'm very organized and methodical. I do like to plan and be prepared, but when push comes to shove, I can be very flexible.

19) How do you subjectively view comfort and how do you create comfort in your life and surroundings?
Comfort to me is being alone or just with my significant other or family. Comfort is not being forced to be someone I'm not. Comfort is being able to say how I feel, truly, without fear of being disliked for it. I create comfort around me through warm scents (cinnamon, clove, vanilla, pumpkin), warm blankets and cozy clothing.
 

Luminous

༻✧๖αη-∂яασι∂н✧༺
Joined
Oct 25, 2017
Messages
9,708
MBTI Type
Iᑎᖴᑭ
Enneagram
952
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
Hmm. I could see 1w9 or 9w1 as your core, both of them come across so strongly. Maybe [MENTION=34313]RadicalDoubt[/MENTION] will have some good input. A fear of being corrupt and not good enough seems to come up more strongly than a fear of loss of connection, so I would lean toward the 1w9.

However, I am not in any way perfectionistic... I can definitely go with the flow in order to avoid conflict, and I don't feel bad doing things "half-assed" if it's something I don't care about. If I'm not passionate about a task (like at work) I will get it done on time but not with full effort.

I think the key here is the bolded. When they are things you care strongly about, you're more apt to be assertive and very critical.

I'd guess 1(9)62, possibly sp blind.
 

bwaves

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Sep 9, 2020
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Hmm. I could see 1w9 or 9w1 as your core, both of them come across so strongly. Maybe [MENTION=34313]RadicalDoubt[/MENTION] will have some good input. A fear of being corrupt and not good enough seems to come up more strongly than a fear of loss of connection, so I would lean toward the 1w9.

Thank you for your insight! It's been extremely helpful. I really researched both 1w9 and 9w1 to try to figure out what I relate to more. It's been hard because I definitely relate to type 1s in that I desire to have integrity, be a good person, make the world a better place, etc. - "desire" is the key word because I don't feel like I'm very good with follow through (whereas all the type 1s I know are very hard-working and diligent). I also have high expectations and am often harsh/critical of myself and others. But I also relate to type 9s in that I desire to be in a peaceful state, both internally and externally, which is why I am often SO detached from people outside my family circle... because the amount of effort I put into being warm/nice/polite is exhausting... and I put in all that effort because I am deathly afraid of ever coming across as rude/insensitive/uncaring. Again, I am only like that with friends, coworkers, and people outside my immediate family. With my family and significant other, I am very opinionated and am not afraid to stick up for myself. Not sure if that matters. It feels like the desire to keep the peace drives my life just as much the desire to be a good person. That's where I'm struggling.

My ability to relate so strongly to type 1s, type 5s, type 6s, and type 9s is what's making me think I'm a type 9. Is that silly? I also feel like me mistyping myself as a 6 for the past year (during a time when I've been especially anxious) could mean I'm a type 9 rather than a type 1?

The only other thing is that I don't think I'm as agreeable as 9s seem to be. I will go along with what other people want to an extent (if it doesn't bother me), but if I'm uncomfortable, I leave the situation. I don't let people walk all over me or tell me what to do. I really like to be in control of my time and energy, so for example, if someone wants to go shopping with me, I will go but make up an excuse to leave when I get tired/antsy. I won't say why I actually want to leave for fear of coming across as rude, but I also won't say nothing.
 

Luminous

༻✧๖αη-∂яασι∂н✧༺
Joined
Oct 25, 2017
Messages
9,708
MBTI Type
Iᑎᖴᑭ
Enneagram
952
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
The only other thing is that I don't think I'm as agreeable as 9s seem to be. I will go along with what other people want to an extent (if it doesn't bother me), but if I'm uncomfortable, I leave the situation. I don't let people walk all over me or tell me what to do. I really like to be in control of my time and energy, so for example, if someone wants to go shopping with me, I will go but make up an excuse to leave when I get tired/antsy. I won't say why I actually want to leave for fear of coming across as rude, but I also won't say nothing.

9s can be very stubborn. They can appear to be more easy-going than they actually are. Sort of like it's all cool until someone crosses one of their boundaries, and then all hell breaks loose and the boundary-crosser may be confused at the 9's sudden and drastic change of demeanor.

The Enneagram Institute has this about misidentifications between 1s and 9s:
Usually this mistype is caused by confusion about the wing and dominant type: is the person a Nine with a One-wing or a One with a Nine-wing? In some cases, with a strong wing, this can be a difficult call. Both can be idealistic, philosophical, and somewhat withdrawn. Neither feels comfortable with their anger. Usually, the Nine's reluctance to get into conflicts is the easiest way to discern these adjacent types. Average Nines want to maintain peace in their lives, and while they may hold strong personal convictions, they generally do not want to argue about them with people–especially people with whom they have an emotional attachment. For Ones, however, the principle is foremost, and Ones will drive home their point to convert the other to their view, even if it risks creating upsets and arguments. ("The truth is the truth.")

While Nines can be hard workers, it does not take much to convince them that a break would be useful. They enjoy down time, and tend to have difficulty shifting gears from relaxation to activity or vice versa. Ones are extremely driven and have difficulty tearing themselves away from their various projects to take a rest or relax. They feel anxious when they are not being productive (like Threes), and want to get back to work to avoid attacks from their superego.

Another distinction can be found in how the two types handle stress. Nines initially become more emotionally disengaged and resistant, but eventually become more anxious and reactive as they go to Six. Ones, initially become more fervent in their efforts to convince the other that they are right, but then collapse into moodiness and a tight-lipped testiness as they go to Four.

So:
-How willing are you to argue about something with someone you are emotionally attached to? Say it's a situation where whether you agree isn't going to make a difference practically. Whether you argue or not, nothing concrete will change. Would you argue with them?
-How easily do you take breaks from working?
-Under stress, do you withdraw and become more stubborn, then get more anxious and reactive? Or become more reactive before withdrawing?
 

bwaves

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Sep 9, 2020
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-How willing are you to argue about something with someone you are emotionally attached to? Say it's a situation where whether you agree isn't going to make a difference practically. Whether you argue or not, nothing concrete will change. Would you argue with them?
-How easily do you take breaks from working?
-Under stress, do you withdraw and become more stubborn, then get more anxious and reactive? Or become more reactive before withdrawing?

-I don't ever start arguments with my friends. I only ever "argue" with my boyfriend and my parents because I don't fear that the potential conflict would cause any real damage to our relationship - I know I can be myself and speak my mind with them, and it's a "safe space" (whereas with anyone else, I am too scared to be confrontational/argumentative). To answer the second part of your question, no, I don't think I argue just for the sake of arguing. 99% of the time, I really try to be easy to get along with. Even if I'm anxious, I'd much rather just remove myself from the situation than stick around and talk about it.
-I take breaks from work very easily. I am a much happier person just spending time at home journaling, reading, learning, going on walks, etc. than I am when I am "getting things done" in a work environment.
-I am really not sure what I do first under stress. It probably depends on the type of stress. I don't know.
 

Doctor Anaximander

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 27, 2013
Messages
19,313
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
5
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
Probably 9. It’s often the case that people drawn to multiple type descriptions with none feeling like a clear fit will eventually land on 9. The crown, it embodies aspects of every other enneatype, meaning 9s might be more likely to see themselves in other types as well. The 9 has a tendency/strong potential to lose sight of their own needs, goals, dreams as they will not only sacrifice them but forget them to preserve the greater good or happiness of their family, workplace or social circle. Possibly the type that would turn down a raise and promotion or simply not seek it out so they don’t have to compete with their best friend applying for the same promotion—even if they literally are more qualified and they’re the one who got their best friend recommended and hired to the company

The stuff you wrote about how you feel and process anger seemed possibly 9 or 1 and reminded me of my own bottled up anger (I am 9w8. most people just see what they describe as a calm, fairly stoic surface, until I have to go into what I call “protect the bullied” mode—engaging in conflict to prevent further conflict and maintain peace, basically)

Also how you experience pride and sloth makes me think likely gut type, probably 9 or 1. Not sure on the wing
 
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