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New member
Nov 29, 2020

On Reddit, I've been typed as both an ENTJ and ENFJ. The ENTJ typing makes sense but the ENFJ doesn't fit with my self-image. Self-image isn't a reliable indicator of truth though. Am I an ENTJ or ENFJ?

How old are you? What’s your gender? Give us a general description of yourself.

I’m a 29-year-old male. At my best, I consider myself ambitious, determined, intelligent, driven, and effective. I seek to make the world a better place and use all my resources to ensure that happens. At my worst, I’m a snail living in a shell avoiding the world as much as possible. I have no confidence in myself or my ability in interacting with others. This has been my default state for most of my life.

Is there a medical diagnosis that impacts you’re mental/compartmental stability somehow?

Social anxiety Depression Aspergers PTSD

Describe your upbringing. Did it have any kind of religious or structured influence? How did you respond to it?

I had traumatic experiences ensuring I didn’t trust anyone and I suppressed emotions, particularly anger and my sexuality. Before the trauma, I was an adventurous and curious child who enjoyed climbing and learning, especially about science and religion. I developed my own languages and created societies with my toys.

What do you do as a job or as a career (if you have one)? Do you like it? Why or why not?

I’m a restaurant manager. I like accomplishing long-term targets, setting ambitious goals for my team, and nurturing my team. Using outdated systems ill-suited for accomplishing the aims of the business frustrates me. Ultimately the job is a stepping stone hoping me develop my traits and overcome my mental health issues. So far the plan is working but albeit slower than I’d like.

If you had to spend an entire weekend by yourself, how would you feel? Would you feel lonely or refreshed?

Self-indulgent, passive, and lonely.

What is your relation with movement and your surroundings? For instance, do you prefer a sport or outdoors event? If an outdoors event what is it? And why? If not what type of activities do you tend to engage I?

I’m not active frequently but when I do exercise it’s mainly running outside or indoor HIIT. I have spells where I’m very active, then spells where I’m not active at all. I lack discipline exercising all the time. I’m considering doing Muay Thai once my local lockdowns have ended.

How curious are you? Do you have more ideas than you can execute? What are your curiosities about? What are your ideas about - is it environmental or conceptual, and can you please elaborate?

I learn to facilitate accomplishing my goals. Ultimately I want to make the world a better place at the macro-level and I see enough ways to do it which would be impossible for me to execute all at the same time.
They’re conceptual ideas about making the world a better place. For instance, developing a complementary demurrage currency system so that local areas can create their own money supply rather than using deficits to stimulate economic demand. The value of the money would depreciate over time if not spent. Essentially the benefits of Keynesian spending without the debt.

Would you enjoy taking on a leadership position? Do you think you would be good at it? What would your leadership style be?

If I have the power to enact the change I want so as to accomplish an ambitious goal, then I’d enjoy leadership. I prefer leading when there’s a lot of improvement that can be done. If little can be improved then the challenge would be mundane and sterile.

Are you coordinated? Why do you feel as if you are or are not? Do you enjoy working with your hands in some form? Describe your activity?

I can be very coordinated but it requires conscious effort. I can be clumsy occasionally. I do have periods at work where I need to get hands-on doing some of the operational work of the kitchen rather than instructing the team.

Are you artistic? If yes, describe your art? If you are not particularly artistic but can appreciate art please likewise describe what forms of art you enjoy. Please explain your answer.

I’m not artistic. I occasionally write. I’ve contemplated directing a play or film. These aren’t pronounced parts of my personality. During the lockdown when we’d do weekly artistic sessions as a family, I’d usually lecture my family about a subject matter that interested me rather than does something artistic.
I do enjoy going to the British Museum and the Louvre. I like the aesthetics and historical significance of ancient art, e.g. statues and paintings.

What’s your opinion about the past, present, and future? How do you deal with them?

The present is the means to set the future in motion. I’ve deliberately neglected the present to sabotage my future. The future is where the ultimate destination lays, the present is means to an end until the present is the destination. The past is both archaic but a source from which to learn from.

How do you act when others request your help to do something (anything)? If you would decide to help them, why would you do so?

Peeved if it interferes with my plans, but I will help.

Do you need logical consistency in your life?

People aren’t logically consistent so no. The paradoxes of people add a charm to them but when it leads to ignorance or poor behavior that hurts others that makes me angry. Then I’d want them to be logical.

How important is efficiency and productivity to you?

Effectiveness matters. Once active productivity does matter

Do you control others, even if indirectly? How and why do you do that?

Yes I am very controlling, but I avoid controlling others because of my fears (see below). I want my environment organised so it's better suited for ensuring success happens, yet I’m prepared to not do what’s necessary because of my fears which I resent. Since being a manager I’ve worked on my fears and I am willing to control people by influencing them and giving them instructions.

What are your hobbies? Why do you like them?

Reading, exercise, and blogging. They are all doing something helping me accomplish my ultimate aim.

What is your learning style? What kind of learning environments do you struggle with most? Why do you like/struggle with these learning styles? Do you prefer classes involving memorization, logic, creativity, or your physical senses?

I prefer a mixture of theoretical learning so that the big picture is understood, then a hands-on approach applying the knowledge.

How good are you at strategizing? Do you easily break up projects into manageable tasks? Or do you have a tendency to wing projects and improvise as you go?

I’m good at it but I can take on more than I can chew. Breaking projects into manageable workloads has been an issue.

What’s important to you and why?

Being a success. Making a difference to the world utilising my intellect. Influencing the lives of others for the better.

What are your aspirations?

Making the world a better place.

What are your fears? What makes you uncomfortable? What do you hate? Why?

I fear my emotions like love and anger. I fear my own power and what I can do with it. This fear has defined me making me very passive as an individual. I fear success as a result.

I hate callousness and ignorance. I hate ineffectiveness especially when the actions are for a good cause. I hate fear and weakness, which leads to hating myself.

What do the “highs” in your life look like?

I’m energetic, charismatic, knowledgable, and wise. I lead others inspiring growth in others. I’m sure of myself but leave room for others to be magnificent as well.

What do the “lows” in your life look like?

The exact opposite to the highs. Very low energy. Passive, even sloth-like. I make no attempt to lead others. I engage in self-pity about how bad things have been making loads of excuses. I consume a lot. I say little. I live in a shell basically. This is how I’ve been most of my life.

How attached are you to reality? Do you daydream often, or do you pay attention to what’s around you? If you do daydream, are you aware of your surroundings while you do so?

I’m very detached from reality at times, I do spend a lot of time daydreaming. I know when to switch off daydreaming though instinctively. When I’m in a dangerous area I do switch to being very aware of my environment. At work, I focus on the areas of my environment that will achieve our goal ignoring other parts.

Imagine you are alone in a blank, empty room. There is nothing for you to do and no one to talk to. What do you think about?

Decide what I’m going to do once I’ve left the room (set a life agenda) and then leave the room.

How long do you take to make an important decision? And do you change your mind once you’ve made it?

If the decision is deemed irreversible then I take a long time. Like switching diets isn’t recommended so I’ll spend time researching the best diet before deciding. Once decided I stick to it. If the decision can be changed, if wrong, then I’ll make decisions fast then not change it unless wrong (which it usually isn’t).

How long do you take to process your emotions? How important are emotions in your life?

It takes a while for emotions to register. They are important but I’ve also spent a lot of time suppressing them - the important ones like love and anger.

Do you ever catch yourself agreeing with others just to appease them and keep the conversation going? How often? Why?

Yes. Social anxiety is the main reason. When the anxiety isn’t kicking in then I become disagreeable, but not for the sake of it.

Do you break rules often? Do you think authority should be challenged, or that they know better? If you do break rules, why would you?

No, unless the rules stop me from accomplishing a goal or moral principle requires me to do so (which is very rare).

What is the ideal life, in your opinion?
Making the world a substantially better place and having your contribution known throughout the annals of history. Influencing others, especially loved ones, for the better so they can live a fulfilling life full of purpose and achievement.

A reply I gave about being concerned with others:

I've never been typed as an ENFJ before. The typing has spiked my curiosity because perhaps you're seeing a side to me I've never seen before. I'll add some remarks below which, hopefully, explain my motivations for being interested in others. Just to test your typing.

I'm focused on growing others so they become the best version of themselves. The world would be much better objectively speaking if we got the most out of everyone and that entails everyone living fulfilling lives reaching their full potential. It does piss me off when others lack the ambition to do something greater with their lives than just make do, both for personal and moral achievements. Especially on moral issues, I become contemptuous when people put mundane concerns above doing what's necessary to tackle climate change. I don't mind a lack of vision as that can be coached, but ambition is an intrinsic motivation to that person. Ambition cannot be taught.

I'm not interested in the day-to-day concerns of individuals or groups though. That's a big turn off in conversation. I'll feign interest but it gets tiring very quickly. Talk to me about your goals in life, where the world can be improved, or suggestions to make the world a better place; and I become interested in the conversation.


Opal Star

New member
Aug 4, 2020
Instinctual Variant
I think that you are an ENFJ 3w2. As for your tritype, I'd say that you are ENFJ 3w2 - 7w8 - 9w1 so/sp.

The reason why I think that you are an ENFJ and not an ENTJ is that you mention things such as making the world a better place, helping others, and your people-focus makes you an Fe-dom. Your focus on effectiveness and goals comes from your enneagram type, which is 3w2. Enneagram 3s are very driven.

Welcome to the forum.


Never-retiring Millenial
Mar 26, 2017
I think you are ENTJ, perhaps just softer, even though I might be tempted to say ENFJ Enneagram 3 as well.

I could see you as ENFJ 3 in terms of dichotomy, but I really don't see yourself in terms of Fe at all. Fe, specially in Jung, is concerned with public opinion, since Fe is also about adjusting your feelings to the purposes of your life and also about adjusting yourself and your feelings relates to the others - you would be more concern about being the suitable man in the eyes of others. Te, in other instance, is about being suitable based on some sort of criteria, being 'efficient', more these kind of stuff where you fit way better. Your goals seems to be more attached to either your inner visions or some sort of thing related to efficient, and NOT be more attached into pleasing somebody else - I am not being shallow, Fe is about these things I had mentioned as well.

You could be a emotional ENTJ, that is possible.