• You are currently viewing our forum as a guest, which gives you limited access to view most discussions and access our other features. By joining our free community, you will have access to additional post topics, communicate privately with other members (PM), view blogs, respond to polls, upload content, and access many other special features. Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free, so please join our community today! Just click here to register. You should turn your Ad Blocker off for this site or certain features may not work properly. If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact us by clicking here.

Do you like to give advice?

Do you like to give advice?

  • INFP- Yes definitely

    Votes: 6 20.7%
  • INTP- Yes definitely

    Votes: 3 10.3%
  • ISFP- Yes definitely

    Votes: 1 3.4%
  • ISTP- Yes definitely

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • ENFP- Yes definitely

    Votes: 4 13.8%
  • ENTP- Yes definitely

    Votes: 3 10.3%
  • ESFP- Yes definitely

    Votes: 1 3.4%
  • ESTP- Yes definitely

    Votes: 1 3.4%
  • INFJ- Yes definitely

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • INTJ- Yes definitely

    Votes: 3 10.3%
  • ISFJ- Yes definitely

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • ISTJ- Yes definitely

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • ENFJ- Yes definitely

    Votes: 1 3.4%
  • ENTJ- Yes definitely

    Votes: 5 17.2%
  • ESFJ- Yes definitely

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • ESTJ- Yes definitely

    Votes: 1 3.4%

  • Total voters
    29

Pessimistic Hippie

New member
Joined
Jul 2, 2020
Messages
455
MBTI Type
ISFP
Enneagram
469
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
ISFP and yes, honestly. As long as it's in an area where I feel I have beneficial info to give. I like the chance to try and be an objective party for someone who can't think clearly while in their situation.
 

fatgurl

ARMY
Joined
Mar 4, 2021
Messages
452
Enneagram
9w1
Instinctual Variant
so/sx
No, I don't think I'm good at giving advice. Plus I don't want to be held liable if my advice messes up their life (which it might).
If someone directly asks me then I'm more likely to do it.
 

Siúil a Rúin

To the waters of the wild
Joined
Apr 23, 2007
Messages
13,267
MBTI Type
ISFP
Enneagram
496
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
I'm hesitant about it and can feel uncomfortable because I've personally known enough people in complex situations that get constant pat answers as a form of advice. I think the majority of times "advice" is a form of dismissal because a person will hear a problem for five minutes, snap to the grid a quick fix answer, share it like "problem solved, stop complaining". That can be the epitome of dismissal because a person with a complex, ongoing problem will have been ruminating about it for hundreds, maybe thousands of hours. Yes, they will have thought of the five minute pat answer, and they will also have heard many "insightful" people share it dozens if not hundreds of times.

Chronic pain is a big one to fall into this category. I have a couple of people in my family with extreme chronic pain, and the advice they get is stuff like, "Strawberries. It's strawberries. I stopped eating them and I no longer get migraines". Or "Well, I just go to work with the headaches". Or if it's a complex relationship, "Why don't you just leave?" Or else they will recite the toxic positivity phrases you can purchase on a poster with the picture of a kitten or puppy.

When it comes to advice, the first step is to have respect. The next step is to let the person talk about it, what solutions they have attempted, etc. Another person's problems is a complex system the advice giver is ignorant of and needs to learn about if they actually care. It is true that are are some instances where a fresh perspective can shed light when an individual has become caught in an endless loop in their problem instead of expanding to gain new information. However, I still stand by the notion that anyone with an ongoing problem has the most knowledge and data about it. Expert advice can help because the expert can have abstracted, theoretical knowledge that can be reapplied in a new concrete context and/or they can have amassed knowledge of a lot of different applied scenarios. A counselor has both of these in their knowledge base which can help when confronted with a new problem. A medical professional also has this when encountering someone with chronic pain.

To whatever extent the advice is a quick pat answer to try to make the person stop having a negative emotion and problem because the advice giver finds it annoying, to that extent "advice" can be some fo the most dismissive and hurtful forms of communication. When there is respect it can be an expression of compassion, but the respectful person will always let the person with the problem lead.

So as a result, I feel uncomfortable when I do it, so tend to limit it.
 

Burning Paradigm

Vibe Curator & Night Owl
Joined
May 16, 2020
Messages
1,969
MBTI Type
ENTP
Enneagram
731
Instinctual Variant
so/sp
Not particularly, because I'm hesitant to assume I know the full context of the situation or generalize, but I've been told I'm good at it. I guess a part of my hesitancy is that I, myself, seek advice very rarely for the same reason. But, if it's an area I'm familiar with, then I'm more enthusiastic about providing it.
 

тень

Eclipsing
Joined
Jun 20, 2018
Messages
5,851
MBTI Type
TiNi
Enneagram
649
Instinctual Variant
sp
Not particularly. I'm a problem solver, and most people seeking advice do it more out of garnering sympathy than wanting to solve the problem, and they already know what they want to do, and will just sit there and argue/refute your advice.
 

Tomb1

Member
Joined
Jun 15, 2011
Messages
831
I typically only like to give advice when the advice is not what the advice-seeker wants to hear and I like to do it fingers-steepled and with total indifference to the fact that the advice I'm delivering is raining down on them like a cold shower.
 

Frosty

Poking the poodle
Joined
Apr 6, 2015
Messages
12,361
Instinctual Variant
sp
Sometimes. It depends on the topic
 

fatgurl

ARMY
Joined
Mar 4, 2021
Messages
452
Enneagram
9w1
Instinctual Variant
so/sx
No, I think I'm terrible at it. But I might try sometimes.
 
Top