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[INTJ] Common INTJ Issues

highlander

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A lot of issues that INTJs have relate to Ni taking an overly dominant role in their personality. Some examples of this:

Don't listen to other perspectives - At times, the INTJ can quickly dismiss things that others might say and have a tendency to come across like they think they are always right. Even if they do listen, they may not come across like they are. The explanation for much of this is that the INTJ can use Te to cut off new information rather than the more productive use of Te, which is to judge their insights against the external world.

Overly critical - INTJs are prone to finding fault in things and situations to an excessive degree. They can tend to blame others for things that go wrong or apply judgement towards others rather than themselves.

Don't know know how they come across to others - INTJs, especially when young can be pretty oblivious as to how they come across to other people.

Unrealistic expectations - INTJs can have excessive expectations of others as well as themselves. Nobody measures up.

Hard time communicating - They can have difficulty communicating what is in their mind to others. Sometimes, they are vague and cannot easily express the reasons for the way they think.

Occasional indecision - Though this is not usually a problem, at times the INTJ can be overwhelmed by all of the different pieces of information, scenarios and sides of an issue making it difficult to reach a decision.


Edit: So, a lot of this is standard INTJ profile stuff. Do you agree with this? Do you see other issues? The thread is targeted at both INTJs and non-INTJs to comment on.

I'm sure the non-INTJs should have plenty to say.
 
Last edited:

Nicodemus

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What prompted you to open this thread? Your post is mostly a redescription of the standard INTJ profile.
 
R

Riva

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Have found that INTJs are REALLY good at reading intentions of others' actions but aren't good at READING the feelings of others. (Am I being rude etc?) A common INTJ issue this is? Not sure. I find them generally to be concerned not to hurt others intentionally though.

Also as Nico the Visigoth said, this seems to be a standard INTJ description thread.

Maybe [MENTION=8936]highlander[/MENTION] you should ask other INTJs to include issues they believe they posses which they have realized?
 

Thalassa

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Have found that INTJs are REALLY good at reading intentions of others' actions but aren't good at READING the feelings of others. (Am I being rude etc?) A common INTJ issue this is? Not sure. I find them generally to be concerned not to hurt others intentionally though.

Also as Nico the Visigoth said, this seems to be a standard INTJ description thread.

Maybe [MENTION=8936]highlander[/MENTION] you should ask other INTJs to include issues they believe they posses which they have realized?

It depends on the INTJ. Some INTJs are so mature and balanced and full of pertinent information and insights, and others are convinced that the mother ship will land any day now, and that nothing that I know nor am good at measures up to their superior (but oblivious) preferences for thought.

I find that I really like INTJ wimminz, even, like on another forum I noticed that a couple of the females I converse with regularly are INTJs.

I don't know if it's my function order or what, but I find xNTJs in general to be very extreme, like I love them or hate them. I have very strong reactions to xNTJs for good or ill.

But anyway, sometimes they have really good insights into other people, and sometimes they are having Ni/Fi tunnel vision with Te oversimplification, and they are so used to being "right" that they can't see how wrong they are, or what they're missing,%
 

Andy

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What prompted you to open this thread? Your post is mostly a redescription of the standard INTJ profile.

Are you trying to demonstrate INTJs being over critical?
 

entropie

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Yes, only that.

I guess its the indirect attempt to talk about what the problems are for intjs and for starters the general profile is quoted so one doesnt take side too much.
(Thats at least the best interpretation I could come up with :D)
 

Rasofy

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I guess he wanted a sticky thread.
Within a year, he'll be called a visionary.
Legions of confused ENFPs will thank him for all the gathered knowledge.
Legions of INTJs will deny that they fit the description.
But, for now, we can call the thread useless/dumb.
 

highlander

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What prompted you to open this thread? Your post is mostly a redescription of the standard INTJ profile.

Somewhat yes - I did use the standard profile to gather some of those points. So say something insightful.

Maybe [MENTION=8936]highlander[/MENTION] you should ask other INTJs to include issues they believe they posses which they have realized?

I changed the OP to better articulate what I'm looking for. It's only the negative stuff though so not really completely like the standard profile description.

What's my motivation? I guess I got a lot out of the INFJ issues thread that was started a long time ago. I thought it was interesting. There were a lot of insights that go above and beyond the standard profiles. I'm hoping we can learn more about ourselves, how others perceive us and that others will learn something more about us. Maybe INTJs are not so interesting as INFJs but let's give it a try.
 

exact

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Why not bump one of the more detailed and better discussed threads?

I can believe this is stickied.
 

Nicodemus

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Somewhat yes - I did use the standard profile to gather some of those points. So say something insightful.
81099203-b361-429c-bc48-5ac998f196b6.jpg
 

Mia.

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It depends on the INTJ. Some INTJs are so mature and balanced and full of pertinent information and insights, and others are convinced that the mother ship will land any day now, and that nothing that I know nor am good at measures up to their superior (but oblivious) preferences for thought.

But anyway, sometimes they have really good insights into other people, and sometimes they are having Ni/Fi tunnel vision with Te oversimplification, and they are so used to being "right" that they can't see how wrong they are, or what they're missing,%

Yes to the above. A mature, balanced, well-developed INTJ to me is a veritable crown jewel of the type world, due to my own personal ideas on the nature, rarity, and teleology of Ni. To me one test of development is heavily indicated by a sum of the response others have to them– the less mature INTJs are often the ones most insistent that they are well developed, and everyone else/other person is the problem, or it’s not an issue of development, etc. Although I find even the immature ones are endearing in their own way, and their potential to be worth the investment of others, they just happen to not be as contributive at the moment.

Since highlander seems to want negative issues, keeping in mind these are generalities and each individual is different, I suppose other potential issues I’ve had occasion to notice and interact with over the years include:

1. Quick temper: Patience is not usually their gifting. The expression might vary from individual to individual in terms of whether it is silent glowering (not to be confused with their regular, non-angry glowering) up to yelling/throwing objects/tantrums, but they get pissed and you will know it.
2. Similar to INFJs, their paranoia can create self-fulfilling prophecies, that they then use as “exhibit A” to prove their rightness.
3. Related to #2, fear of rejection (yeah, I said it) which leads to them being an over-the-top ass in order to retain a sense of control over the situation.
4. Speaking of need to control… yeah, probably don’t even need to expound on that one.
5. I knew one with a preoccupation with revenge that did not serve him well.
6. Fear and denial of their own feeling, which can manifest in downright weird and regretful decision-making.

I guess he wanted a sticky thread.
Within a year, he'll be called a visionary.
Legions of confused ENFPs will thank him for all the gathered knowledge.
Legions of INTJs will deny that they fit the description.
But, for now, we can call the thread useless/dumb.

Awesome. lol
 

Nicodemus

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4. Speaking of need to control… yeah, probably don’t even need to expound on that one.
Control is not to be confused with command, though. One results from a need for self-preservation, the other from having a small penis (or none at all).
 

Usehername

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Have found that INTJs are REALLY good at reading intentions of others' actions but aren't good at READING the feelings of others.

I would agree with this. It's really tricky to be unevenly skilled with one part and almost useless with the other part.

It can give me false confidence because my skilled reads are missing critical information, or conversely (and what is more likely to happen as I become more mature, more humble, and more forgiving), it can make me waste a lot of mental energy and time trying to fully sketch out an outcome or injustice that I intuited was in-the-makings months earlier. Because I'm missing the feeling-evidence that other types can ascertain, I wait and wait and wait until the evidence abounds and it's a major problem, doubly frustrating because I was confident it was going to show up and I could've nipped it before we got into a big mess.

I find the remedy is to talk things through early on with a trusted person who sees things from a different perspective. I have to make sure I'm not just seeking out a friend who's going to frame the minimal evidence in the same way I'm prone to.

I've learned to ascertain that something is developing feeling-wise with others, but I can't do much beyond "let's pay attention here." And then I use other tools.
 

Thalassa

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the less mature INTJs are often the ones most insistent that they are well developed, and everyone else/other person is the problem, or it’s not an issue of development, etc. Although I find even the immature ones are endearing in their own way, and their potential to be worth the investment of others, they just happen to not be as contributive at the moment.

Some of them are endearing, others totally chap my hide. Of course I think this may be because of common issues with Ni/Fi and Fi/Ni...so it just turns into "no u."

Also, some of them think they're better at analyzing humanity than they are, which is what I mean by Te oversimplification, and may be what Riva meant about not getting the complete picture because of their lack of feeling, but an INTJ with more developed Fi tends to have a more holistic and less self-congratulatory view of human beings.

6. Fear and denial of their own feeling, which can manifest in downright weird and regretful decision-making.

Or very harsh, unfair decision making that looks like it's potentially being fueled by paranoia.
 

Fidelia

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When I started the INFJ Common Issues thread, I mostly did so because of the legion of "My INFJ is crazy threads" out there in combination with realizing that because different types use different functions, the same behaviours may be interpreted as having completely different motivations. I had observed some things that had come up with others throughout my life and attempted to explain why I thought they were issues or where the problem arose from. At the time, I wasn't sure if some of them were me specifically, or if they were generalizable to INFJs. In addition, EJCC's Ask an ESTJ thread, was extremely helpful to me when I first came to this site.

I don't really see this as highlander being negative, but rather as him attempting to explain things that seem to come up often when other types interact with INTJs. Maybe I just look at things from a negative side, but I like figuring out human puzzles. The positive points explain themselves more easily. It's the points of contention where I don't understand someone that interest me most. I'd love to see if some of the things that don't make sense to me about INTJs and their style of interaction may end up getting explained in here. I've found it interesting to see how differently the several other Common Issues threads have evolved, depending on what type they were started by.
 

Coriolis

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A mature, balanced, well-developed INTJ to me is a veritable crown jewel of the type world, due to my own personal ideas on the nature, rarity, and teleology of Ni. To me one test of development is heavily indicated by a sum of the response others have to them– the less mature INTJs are often the ones most insistent that they are well developed, and everyone else/other person is the problem, or it’s not an issue of development, etc. Although I find even the immature ones are endearing in their own way, and their potential to be worth the investment of others, they just happen to not be as contributive at the moment.
I for one hesitate to draw any conclusions about my development from the responses I get from others. I can see the results of my interactions, but get little direct feedback as to whether these or similar issues are a problem for me, and if I'm getting indirect feedback, I'm oblivious to it. Not much fodder for use in attempts at self-improvement.
 

Mia.

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I for one hesitate to draw any conclusions about my development from the responses I get from others. I can see the results of my interactions, but get little direct feedback as to whether these or similar issues are a problem for me, and if I'm getting indirect feedback, I'm oblivious to it. Not much fodder for use in attempts at self-improvement.

I probably wasn’t very clear with that statement, I apologize.

I was speaking mainly regarding the idea that Marmie expressed below:

It depends on the INTJ. Some INTJs are so mature and balanced and full of pertinent information and insights, and others are convinced that the mother ship will land any day now, and that nothing that I know nor am good at measures up to their superior (but oblivious) preferences for thought.

If this is the MO, people pick up on this, and reflect it back. The INTJ then has a choice about whether to declare that everyone else is the problem in this scenario, or whether they are the common denominator and perhaps it is their approach that needs refinement.

INTJs have a very unique process and perspective as well as a natural and in many ways admirable ability for detachment, and therefore it’s not unlikely that they will be misunderstood a great deal of the time. When talking about people’s reactions, it isn’t intended that people will be warm, fuzzy and “get” them all the time. But if people are consistently running away, avoiding, hostile, or completely checking out in the presence of the INTJ, this is useful information for them to take into consideration in development.
 
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