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[Type 9] Becoming a Healthier 9

Luminous

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This thread is for sharing or asking for advice/tips/information on becoming healthier and dealing with common issues relevant to enneatype.

To start us off, here are some tips from the Enneagram Institute:
  • It is worth examining your type's tendency to go along with others, doing what they want to keep the peace and be nice. Will constantly acquiescing to the wishes of others provide the kind of relationships that will really satisfy you? Remember, it is impossible to love others if you are not truly present to them. This means that you have to be yourself, that you (paradoxically) have to be independent so that you can really be there for others when they need you.
  • Exert yourself. Force yourself to pay attention to what is going on. Do not drift off or tune out people, or daydream. Work on focusing your attention to become an active participant in the world around you. Try to become more mentally and emotionally engaged.
  • Recognize that you also have aggressions, anxieties, and other feelings that you must deal with. Negative feelings and impulses are a part of you and they affect you emotionally and physically whether or not you acknowledge them. Furthermore, your negative emotions are often expressed inadvertently and get in the way of the peace and harmony you want in your relationships. It is best to get things out in the open first, at least by allowing yourself to become aware of your feelings.
  • Although this will be very painful for you, if your marriage has ended in divorce or if you are having problems with your children, you must honestly examine how you have contributed to these problems. Examining troubled relationships will be extremely difficult because the people involved have been close to your heart. The feelings you have for others endow you with much of your identity and self-esteem. But if you really love others, you can do no less than examine the role you have played in whatever conflicts that have arisen. In the last analysis, the choice is simple: you must sacrifice your peace of mind (in the short run) for the satisfaction of genuine relationships (in the long run.)
  • Exercise frequently to become more aware of your body and emotions. (Some Nines run around doing errands and think that they are getting enough exercise.) Regular exercise is a healthy form of self-discipline and will increase your awareness of your feelings and other sensations. Developing body-awareness will help teach you to concentrate and focus your attention in other areas of your life as well. Exercise is also a good way to get in touch with and express some aggressions.
 

Luminous

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unknown.png
 

Luminous

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Luminous

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Recognize your strengths!

unknown.png
 

Luminous

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Vendrah

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[MENTION=35566]Luminous[/MENTION]
What are your thoughts about this:
"We have sometimes called the Nine the crown of the Enneagram because it is at the top of the symbol and because it seems to include the whole of it. Nines can have the strength of Eights, the sense of fun and adventure of Sevens, the dutifulness of Sixes, the intellectualism of Fives, the creativity of Fours, the attractiveness of Threes, the generosity of Twos, and the idealism of Ones. However, what they generally do not have is a sense of really inhabiting themselves—a strong sense of their own identity.

Ironically, therefore, the only type the Nine is not like is the Nine itself."
 

Luminous

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[MENTION=35566]Luminous[/MENTION]
What are your thoughts about this:
"We have sometimes called the Nine the crown of the Enneagram because it is at the top of the symbol and because it seems to include the whole of it. Nines can have the strength of Eights, the sense of fun and adventure of Sevens, the dutifulness of Sixes, the intellectualism of Fives, the creativity of Fours, the attractiveness of Threes, the generosity of Twos, and the idealism of Ones. However, what they generally do not have is a sense of really inhabiting themselves—a strong sense of their own identity.

Ironically, therefore, the only type the Nine is not like is the Nine itself."

I guess I think the bolded are two different things. I have a strong sense of my identity -about some things/values- but for less important, things, I do go more with the flow. And sometimes things that don't appear important in the moment affect the future - or I choose the present over the future. The inhabiting part speaks to me in that I need to work on asserting what I want onto the outer world, rather than withdrawing or going along.
 

Luminous

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Luminous

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Fivewingfour

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From The Wisdom of the Enneagram by Riso and Hudson:

Practices that help Nines develop

While real humility is an admirable trait in human beings, it is not one that you have to work at. Learn to discriminate between genuine humility and the tendency to discount yourself and your abilities. In other words, remember the Nine’s Social Role, Nobody Special, and notice when you are falling into it. You may feel overwhelmed by life’s problems and that you have little to offer others, but a quick look at the discord, violence, and pain in the world may guide you to a quiet wisdom about what you can do. If there is an energy that is needed to restore a balance on this troubled globe, it is certainly the calm, healing, reconciling energy of healthy Nines. Know that when you are truly connected to yourself, you have all the power and capacity you need for whatever situation you face.

Learn the value of the word no. It is quite natural to not want to disappoint others, but when you are presented with a proposition that you are uncomfortable with, it is better to make your misgivings known at the outset rather than silently acquiescing and regretting it later. Further, others are much more likely to be upset with you if you resist their plans passive-aggressively after you have initially agreed to them. Most people want to know what your real opinion or preference is—even if it seems unimportant to you at the time.

Learn to recognize what you want from a given situation. Often you will be so busy taking into account the positions and views of others that you will tend to neglect your own. Because of this habit of mind, you may not know what you want immediately. If necessary, do not be afraid to ask others to give you a moment to consider the options. And don’t be afraid to pursue the option you prefer when it arises. Remember that you are allowed to have wants.

Take a tip from healthy Threes and invest time and energy in developing yourself and your talents. There are many pleasant, perfectly valid ways to spend your time, entertaining yourself or hanging out with friends or loved ones—but make sure you do not shortchange yourself by neglecting your own development. The initial struggles may bring up many of your anxieties about yourself, but the rewards of persisting in your development will be much greater and more deeply satisfying. Further, investing in yourself will not lead you away from your connection with others: everyone will benefit from a stronger, more fully actualized you.

Notice when you are imagining a relationship with someone instead of actually relating with him or her. For most people, sitting on a couch with you while you daydream about a camping trip or a recent episode of your favorite TV show is not very satisfying. If you find that you are “checking out” with a particular person, you might well ask yourself if you are uncomfortable or angry with them about something. In any event, talking about it may help you reconnect with yourself and with them.

Learn to recognize and process your anger. For most Nines, anger is very threatening. Of all the emotions, it feels like the one that can most easily destroy your inner peace. Yet it is only through anger that you will connect with your own inner power—it is the fuel that will burn away your inertia. This does not mean, of course, that you need to go around yelling at people and being aggressive with strangers. But it does mean that if you feel angry, it is all right to tell others that you are upset with them. Learn to sense your anger in your body. What does it feel like? Where does it register most strongly in your body? Becoming familiar with it as a sensation can help you to be less afraid of it.
 

fatgurl

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Exercise frequently to become more aware of your body and emotions. (Some Nines run around doing errands and think that they are getting enough exercise.) Regular exercise is a healthy form of self-discipline and will increase your awareness of your feelings and other sensations. Developing body-awareness will help teach you to concentrate and focus your attention in other areas of your life as well. Exercise is also a good way to get in touch with and express some aggressions.

Anytime I mention to my mother that some part of my body hurts she proceeds to say it's cause I don't move the whole day. Then I proceed to tell her that I get up to go to the bathroom, to buy food or go to school and that's enough moving, so when I saw this I was dumbfounded, lol.
 

ceecee

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I can't agree with the exercise being a real benefit for the 9's enough. My 9 husband started seriously working out right before COVID - Echelon bike 3 days and weights 3 days. I don't think every 9 needs to do that much but I bet a couple days a week of weight lifting would help most.
 

Luminous

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I think exercising has been hugely beneficial to me over my life, though it does get complicated and some of it is universal benefit (stress relief, health boosting) not specific to 9s. But I can relate to it, along with time, helping me become more comfortable/grounded in my body. I was very uncomfortable with my body and movement after puberty started, and even before that, not very talented in movement/coordination, despite having some natural talent for some forms, like dance. Dance in particular has allowed me to feel more in my body. So I think I didn't really need it to become aware of my emotions or sensations, but it's helped me be more my actual physical self, along with expressing aggressions in a healthy way.
 

Hermit of the Forest

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Exercise is amazingly helpful, especially if done outside. It clears my head, helps me focus, and energizes me. It lifts my mood, helps me feel more capable and able to take command of myself and my circumstances.
 

fatgurl

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Exercise is amazingly helpful, especially if done outside. It clears my head, helps me focus, and energizes me. It lifts my mood, helps me feel more capable and able to take command of myself and my circumstances.

I think this is what I've been doing wrong. I exercise inside and it just makes me sleepy. I've exercised outside before (with another person, I won't do it otherwise) and that usually lifts my mood a lot. Just doing any activity outside significantly helps, but unfortunately, I don't go outside much.
 

Vendrah

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I can't agree with the exercise being a real benefit for the 9's enough. My 9 husband started seriously working out right before COVID - Echelon bike 3 days and weights 3 days. I don't think every 9 needs to do that much but I bet a couple days a week of weight lifting would help most.

Actually, 1-2 days a week of exercises helps anyone regardless of type.
I miss it, I did weight lifting 3 weeks a day but had to stop for more than a year now due to COVID.
In the beginning I didn't missed, I am actually lazy but I started to feel the benefits going away after a few months (in the first month it was a relief).
 

RadicalDoubt

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I always have trouble with exercise in general, it really does nothing for me. The best I can fathom is walks and maybe the occasional hike, but that's helpful because it gives me space to think. I did kickboxing/Ju jitsu for awhile and that really didn't seem to do much for me either. Trying to think of active things I can do that will engage me at the moment in hopes of improving this lacking skill though
 

KKB78

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What did it for me was accepting that I had been abandoned long ago/many times over
I realized I needed to start living for myself now and stand on my own two feet take control of my own life and take responsibility for becoming someone

I understand why they call my subtype tabula rasa and enjoyer among other things in some of the life path or archetype things
 

KKB78

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[MENTION=35566]Luminous[/MENTION]
What are your thoughts about this:
"We have sometimes called the Nine the crown of the Enneagram because it is at the top of the symbol and because it seems to include the whole of it. Nines can have the strength of Eights, the sense of fun and adventure of Sevens, the dutifulness of Sixes, the intellectualism of Fives, the creativity of Fours, the attractiveness of Threes, the generosity of Twos, and the idealism of Ones. However, what they generally do not have is a sense of really inhabiting themselves—a strong sense of their own identity.

Ironically, therefore, the only type the Nine is not like is the Nine itself."

I think what they were really getting at here is that in type 9 the loss of "true being" (gaining perspective on existence is close to what that means and a lack of it is kind of like a lack of perspective but it's more complicated than that and I'm having a hard time really explaining it right now though I did put it into words a while back but now I have forgotten lol) present in the background of the neuroses of every other type is at the forefront of the psyche
Hence the crown thing
I think that extra stuff about how it can have qualities of all the other types is basically because it's the catch all and paradoxically distinguished by over-adaptation which leads to a lack of strong definition in the personality so its like a stem cell once it gets into gear and begins actually developing into something a little more defined
 
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