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Apology preferences?

N

NPcomplete

Guest
4 Expressing Regret
3 Accepting Responsibility
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7 Genuinely Repenting
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I'm not very surprised. In those situations, I prefer knowing that the problem will be solved and that the person will try to rectify their behaviour. Apologies can be meaningful if they are meant but they can be empty as well, and there's no real way for me to know except to have faith in the person. However, if the wound is still very fresh, I won't have much faith (if at all) in that person. A desire to change can (perhaps) make me reconsider my stance.

But, really, it depends.
 

redacted

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Redbone

Orisha
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I'm one of those that don't like excessive apologizing. I'm also not likely to notice when I need to apologize either. I have no problem admitting that I was wrong and trying to correct things.

Acceptance of responsibility, genuinely repenting, making restitution...those all point to one thing to me. Mistake? Acknowledge it and then fix it. I need to know what went wrong, express and have an understanding of why it upset me, and why so it can be prevented in the future. That is vital to me. Especially if a little forethought would have prevented the upset in the first place.

I never liked the forgiveness thing. I think a moderate amount of people hear forgiveness and think it means "free pass".
 

Silveresque

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chickpea

perfect person
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OrangeAppled

Sugar Hiccup
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For me, accepting responsibility is HUGE. I don't want to hear excuses. An excuse just angers me more. It's one thing to give an explanation that there was no intentional bad motive, but it's another to place blame on something/someone else as if you had no control over it. I also like to hear regret expressed so they acknowledge the hurt they have caused (it shows they understand the weight of their actions) & to hear that they will try their best not to repeat the mistake. I know someone is truly sorry if they express that they don't intend to do it again and stick to that promise as best they can. Otherwise, "I'm sorry" just rings hollow.

I generally don't need acts of restitution or to hear a request for forgiveness. I assume a sincere apology & promise to not do it again is asking forgiveness.
 

FireShield98

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Southern Kross

Away with the fairies
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CrystalViolet

lab rat extraordinaire
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Oct 24, 2008
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I appreciate it when people take responsibility for thier actions. I've had so many people in my life who blame others, that it makes me really sit up and notice if some one owns up to thier part.
 

miss fortune

not to be trusted
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holy shit... the wording on those apologies was so dreadful that I would just assume anyone saying any of those things was mocking me :laugh: they sound like a therapist wrote them!

if you want to say that you're sorry to me you'd better prove it... words are cheap and I tend to doubt that anyone's sorry who doesn't actually put some effort into setting things right. If I'm actually sorry I go out of my way to correct the situation to prove that I'm sorry action-wise :)

needless to say, words of affirmation are NOT one of my love languages either :cheese:
 

Randomnity

insert random title here
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lmao, I stopped after a few questions because those answers are ridiculously over the top. Unless you killed my pet or burned my house down, any of those are way way way overkill. What on earth is wrong with a genuinely felt "I'm sorry - I won't do it again"?! If it doesn't count as an apology unless you're flogging yourself, I guess I never apologize....but that seems pretty stupid to me.
 
T

ThatGirl

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