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“Sexts” from an ENFP

LillyRoar

Member
Joined
Mar 30, 2021
Messages
40
MBTI Type
ENTJ
And if you aren't a sexual person, that's fine, but you should make that clear.

I wouldn’t say I’m not a sexual person. But I don’t enjoy/find pleasure in writing long explicit sexual texts about where my hands should go and where he wants to put his thumb?

I’ve made it very clear to him but he can’t help himself still. I think he genuinely likes me, that’s why I’m wondering if this is part of how ENFPs bond.

However, it shows a level of disrespect so whether or not this is a type thing or an idiosyncrasy of his - it needs to be addressed in a serious manner.
 

Methylene

Now with less salt.
Joined
Oct 10, 2016
Messages
1,826
MBTI Type
LGBT
Enneagram
639
Instinctual Variant
so/sp
Not type related. Everyone lives sexuality in a different way.

Anyway, be aware of how he treats your sexual boundaries. If he doesn't respect them, just run.
 

Abcdenfp

Terpsichore
Joined
May 19, 2017
Messages
1,654
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
7W8
EDIT: Spoilered because this is more a response that explains my POV and where I'm coming from than a response to LilyRoar's OP.
I agree not type related. Being an ENFP and having been in long distance relationships sexting is in my wheel house because it (for me) creates intimacy with the other person. But I usually follow the other persons lead, it's like a dance both people have to be into it for it to be worth the steps.


Bottom line if your not into it. Your not into it but it is very clear that he is into it and you may not be compatible. This goes back to another conversation we had in another thread about people not being honest and upfront about the level of sexual (or type) of sexual relationships and compromising in a way that is uncomfortable for them just to please their partner in the initial stages, it sets up unrealistic expectations.
 

LillyRoar

Member
Joined
Mar 30, 2021
Messages
40
MBTI Type
ENTJ
I agree not type related. Being an ENFP and having been in long distance relationships sexting is in my wheel house because it (for me) creates intimacy with the other person. But I usually follow the other persons lead, it's like a dance both people have to be into it for it to be worth the steps.


Bottom line if your not into it. Your not into it but it is very clear that he is into it and you may not be compatible. This goes back to another conversation we had in another thread about people not being honest and upfront about the level of sexual (or type) of sexual relationships and compromising in a way that is uncomfortable for them just to please their partner in the initial stages, it sets up unrealistic expectations.

Great input. Thank you!
 

Lady_X

Active member
Joined
Oct 27, 2008
Messages
18,209
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
784
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
I would just tell him exactly as you told us.

I love that you are so expressive but I don't really have the same communication style. I like it when blank....
 
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