Do you get triggered and Blame people and life for your emotions or do you take self responsibility.

“He who is unhealed and blames reality or people for his emotions is unhealed. He or she projects their own unfinished business, unresolved conflict, emotional baggage, and unhealed psychic wounds out into others and reality.

They project their own pollution outward rather than take self responsibility for their own emotions. No one can make you feel an emotion, they can only tigger what is already inside.

To hold unto anger is to protect your ego. To react is to keep yourself unhealed. Triggers are opportunities for healing and self growth provided you do not react in the usual manner you are accustomed too.

Instead of getting angry or being under the power of another negative emotion, rise above your ego and refect plus deal with the situation in a more adult, healthy, sane, rational and responsible manner.” LightSun

“We are prisoners of our own thoughts, and our belief system. We all are a product of our times. We process all the societal, parental, and peer expectations, norms and notes into our belief system.

They all form a part of what is referred to as cognitive schema. People project their version of reality unto others. Real and external reality is the projection screen like in a movie theater.

We unconsciously and unknowingly project unto others our subjective values and ideals.
Ultimately what is inside is manifest outside.

That means if your soul, mind and heart is pure you keep a positive or at least an objective realism.

Those that are negative only project the phantoms of their own unresolved issues, unconscious conflicts, emotional baggage and unhealed aspects of a psychic wound.

They may fool themselves that that have self righteous indignity and have a right to be negative and disparaging.

They are triggered. There may be aspects of a real concern. But it is masked by cognitive distortions in the thought process.

This truth is camouflaged from the person spewing their pollution of unresolved issues unto others and reality.

I am responsible for my thoughts, feelings, speech, writing and actions. No one can force us to be negative.

Those who are negative are triggered. They blame the situation, reality or people for their emotions.” LightSun

Definitely used to when I was younger.
I don't think I do that a lot these days. At least I consciously try not to.

It's only human to do this, to some degree. It's only problematic when it prevents you from making connections or keeps you from functioning in day to day life.

LightSun said:

“He who is unhealed and blames reality or people for his emotions is unhealed. He or she projects their own unfinished business, unresolved conflict, emotional baggage, and unhealed psychic wounds out into others and reality.

They project their own pollution outward rather than take self responsibility for their own emotions. No one can make you feel an emotion, they can only trigger what is already inside.

To hold unto anger is to protect your ego. To react is to keep yourself unhealed. Triggers are opportunities for healing and self growth provided you do not react in the usual manner you are accustomed too.

Instead of getting angry or being under the power of another negative emotion, rise above your ego and reflect plus deal with the situation in a more adult, healthy, sane, rational and responsible manner.” LightSun

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An interesting topic. It is often hard enough for healthy people to own their own emotions rather than blame them on others. For someone struggling with trauma, mental illness, or a history of abuse, it can be even harder. It is fair game, of course, to find fault with the actions of others when justified, but our reactions, emotional and otherwise, are our own. Even when wronged, we can respond in many different ways: distance/detachment, forgiveness, justice, revenge/tit-for-tat, disproportionate response, etc. What we choose reflects more upon us than upon the other person(s). Understanding anger as a protective measure is a helpful perspective. It is hard to break out of established habits to grow and heal from those trigger states, especially when those habits have served you in good stead for self preservation. A good therapist can help.

Generally my approach is to see most happenings as being reactionary or inevitable. I’m not certain how much free will exists and the ability to make a choice is the foundation of responsibility and blame.

I can identify external environmental factors that cause my pain, but that doesn’t necessarily correlate with blame. I think all pain comes either from the present external moment, a past pain we get stuck reliving, or results from our genetics and nature.

I try to operate as though there is free will but maintain uncertainty about it. I can know someone outside myself caused me pain and harm but not be sure how much they had control over. So, I approach harm from people similarly as harm from a tornado. Yes, the tornado and not me destroyed the home but where is blame placed? It’s not relevant.

In dealing with people that view is balanced with the possibility of free will, so a little different but related.

"Do you get triggered and Blame people and life for your emotions."

That would be a pitiful way to live your life.
If, however, someone did something I do not agree with, my reaction is on me, and their deed is on them. Nothing personal. If I were to find myself a little biased in my judgment, I take a step back and sort through the fog. Ideally, letting emotions and sneaky prejudices that sleep in the back of one's mind take over is not what one should do to navigate conflict and other situations. Consequently, if you take responsibility for your emotions, you do not blame others for them.

Sacrophagus said:

my reaction is on me, and their deed is on them."Do you get triggered and Blame people and life for your emotions."

That would be a pitiful way to live your life.
If, however, someone did something I do not agree with, my reaction is on me, and their deed is on them. Nothing personal. If I were to find myself a little biased in my judgment, I take a step back and sort through the fog. Ideally, letting emotions and sneaky prejudices that sleep in the back of one's mind take over is not what one should do to navigate conflict and other situations. Consequently, if you take responsibility for your emotions, you do not blame others for them.

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I wish more people could see this distinction. It relates to the idea that two wrongs don't make a right, or put another way: someone else's bad behavior can never justify my own.

Laying objective blame for why you are feeling how you are feeling (and also devising ways to alleviating negative feelings) requires cause and effect analysis of what led to the feeling.

Feeling-dominant types are at the epicenter of their emotions so when they feel strongly about something, it will become their dominant method to make decisions about life. That means, if someone, some idea/suggestion, or some environment makes them feel bad, they would consider it bad and vice-versa.

Fe types will turn inward to refer to Si or Ni to compare the external agent to their traditional or spiritual values to decide whether the agent is good or bad.

Fi types will lashout using Se (aggressive body language, threat of bodily harm, anger) or Ne (sarcasm, sniping on self-esteem, projection/blame shifting) to thwart off the agent as bad. The opposite is also true, they might make physical advances on the agent or pamper the agents' self esteem if the agent makes them feel good about themselves, hence if they feel the agent is good.

Objective/logical cause-effect analysis however would require F types to develop T (realism), which is their weak/deficient faculty.

Coriolis said:

A good therapist can help.

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if you can afford one…

I. “My religion is I take personal responsibility for my own thoughts, feelings, speech, writing and actions despite external situations or people.”

II. “I will not repay negativity for negativity.”

III. “What the other person does is a reflection of them. What I do is a reflection of me.” LightSun

“Projections”
“Don’t take anything personally. Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.” Unknown

I have asked what is a good measure of good mental health? There are many answers, but one excellent barometer of excellent sense of self is not being so easily triggered by others.

Those that do, in a sense are spreading the pollution of their inner wounded souls unto others and the world.

“When one is triggered one unknowingly and unconsciously is reacting from their own, “Unconscious Issues, Unresolved Conflict, emotional baggage and what I deem an unhealed psychic wound.”

What they don’t know is they are throwing out the pollution of their inner selves unto other people and unto external situations. Those that blame, do not show clarity, using reason and are seemingly justified at their outburst.

Gary, I’ve said this so many times. The problem is that unless a person has some background and knows what I’m talking about, it’s just mere words and gets tuned out.

Nonetheless this is scientific fact coming from the psychology field’s research. All of these variables go hand in hand. Not one stands alone. It is a massive blind spot on the part of humanity.

1. Negative Emotion: A person experiences a negative emotion.

2. Cognitive Dissonance: The person experiences cognitive dissonance because their perceived notion of reality collides with Real Reality.

They experience emotional discomfort. They usually though don’t have the insight that their is an internal problem of their own which is yet unaddressed.

3. Cognitive Distortions: The person uses irrational thoughts in their speech which contain all manner of distortions of thought.

4. Defense Mechanism: This is because the irrational ideations are a defense mechanism from looking within and correcting an issue.

I have an analogy. A negative emotion is akin to a cars engine warning light. Their is something wrong.

Now, I’m not discounting a person’s right to be offended, or morally outraged for that matter.
The issue though is that they are not keeping a cool, rational and clear head.

5. Emotional Reasoning: Emotional Reasoning is one of the 10 cognitive distortions in the human thought process. This distortion is one of the main culprits of humanities travesties.

6. Self Righteous: I’m using this term in the strictest dictionary meaning. It is not meant as an insult. All manner of evil has been done in the name of love, of feeling moral superiority, and a self righteous belief of their actions.

7. Projection: Just as Carl Jung stipulated, people should work on their own issues and as he deems it their shadow self. If it’s hard for us to change, then it is statistically highly almost impossible to change another person’s subjective viewpoint.

8. Judgment: The person judges another from their own internal system of beliefs. These are cognitive schemas coming from 8.1 Societal mores and norms, 8.2 peer expectations and 8.3 parental expectations.

9. Argument: If things escalate and you have two irrational human beings, both are unknowingly and in an entirely unconscious manner projecting their own inner reality unfairly unto another.

10. Ego: If it comes to this point then usually both parties are trying to explain their point of view and convince the other of their own rightness of their position. They are in fact protecting a triggered, and wounded immature ego. This will never work.

It comes to a psychological, emotional and spiritual mature individual to walk away. Especially if the other person is coming from an irrational and volatile point of view. One can not reason with another human being, who they themselves are not using reason.

11. Subjective, Negative Language: Whenever a person uses subjective opinion and point of view with negative language, they are being irrational. Now the other person may be heinous and wrong as well. That’s not the issue.

12. Blind Spots; This is why humanity is blinded. They can see the twig in their neighbors eyes but not the plank in their own eye. The problem with humanity as a species is using Negative and Subjective language against other people.

If we are negative, chances are we don’t even realize we are projecting our own inner phenomenological universes unto another human being.

13. Objective: What do I mean by this? Stick to objective facts and reason in debate style to make the point.” LightSun

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