Communication, Discussion and Listening Skills.

“We have two ears and one mouth. We should listen twice as much as speak.” and “When I speak I only repeat what I know. If I am silent I may learn something.”

If I practice active listening skills in my communication, I may learn something. Utilizing active listening is truest discussion. It is when two people speak and yet are heard. Validation and feedback is part of thought empathy.

There is a difference between communicating and talking “At” a person. It is far different to listen rather than hear only yourself. True communication is a two way street.

In an argument both parties are talking “At” another party and both are hearing only themselves. They are both operating on a one way street only repeating their own individual message.

The argument only grows more heated. As both parties are not communicating with each other, each of the arguers repeats their message. It is akin to throwing gasoline on a fire. Discussion yields results and growth.

As both parties listen to another’s viewpoint, there understanding grows. Their horizons broaden and the person can mature by having a much more broad perception of different problems.

Those that argue don’t grow. As they don’t broaden their horizons by being of closed mind set. They remain stagnant. This is like saying I know it all. I am right. You are wrong. There is no compromise between adults.” LightSun

“Do you know what the the term empathy means? What is the difference between compassion and empathy? There are different ways to communicate. Which is the most therapeutic approach?

Quotation:
“You truth is you can never truly understand something unless you have experienced it. This is why compassion is so important.”

I have amended this quote changing it from the original term of compassion to a more appropriate term of empathy.

Empathy is both compassion but just as important understanding. A person who has the true gift of empathy can get in the other persons phenomenological inner universe.

Those with this gift empathy can understand so that the other person feels validated. They finally feel that they are not alone.

They also feel that somebody else truly can understand what they are feeling and experiencing. This is a great asset for anybody, especially in the mental health field.

Those with empathy don’t say these statements. “I am so sorry.” and “I’ll pray for you.” People who make these well meaning statements are displaying compassion, and not empathy.

For someone who is truly empathic, statements such as these actually cause the other person to feel worse. It reinforces whatever emotional trial the person is experiencing and makes it come to the surface.

Another faux pau is the advise giver. This is a rhetorical question for the chronic advise giver. Before you give advise, think about this.

Don’t you think that the person you are giving the advise too since it’s so important to them, that they haven’t thought about the problem from 50 different angles?

Only give advise if it is sought out and asked for. Both the advise giver and the sympathizer are doing these behaviors unconsciously.

“The truth is you can never truly understand something unless you have experienced it. This is why “Empathy” is so important.” LightSun