absurdist1010
New member
- Joined
- Feb 4, 2021
- Messages
- 11
- MBTI Type
- INFJ
- Enneagram
- 5w4
- Instinctual Variant
- sp/sx
I just now realized I could also post this questionnaire on this forum, so I hope that's ok. I've been trying to type myself for a while now but I just keep getting more confused ahaha.
1) Context:
a) What is your age range and general location (Country so that cultural values can be taken into account)? Do you have any impairments that may affect the way that you answer this questionnaire? Any religious or political beliefs (or anything else along those lines) that also might have an effect?
I’m a teenager (turning 16 on the 13th of February) and am from São Paulo, Brazil. I’d say that the culture here (specifically in my state) is pretty strict regarding school and education; we have to take 12 compulsory subjects in high school, which has more of a negative impact on students than positive. I really value quality over quantity and have seen the effects of workaholism in both myself and other people, so I think I’m pretty opinionated concerning this country’s school system. Also, our culture »in my city/state« resembles the american one quite a lot, so for reference I recommend you picture a typical american big city in order to avoid stereotypes (which, by the way, drive me crazy, but I won’t get into it).
Yes, I have depression and autism (I’m in the process of getting diagnosed). I also think I have social anxiety and body dysmorphia, but I don’t think I’ll ever get diagnosed with them because I really can’t open up to anyone.
I’m not really knowledgeable about politics (I wish I was), but my political alignment is liberal-left. Hmm, I also approve the right to have euthanasia, am pro-choice and against the death penalty.
b) Which types are you currently considering? Why are you considering them and why haven’t you decided on one?
I can say for sure that Se, Te, Ne and Si are not my base function, so that leaves me with ESE, LII, IEI, EIE, LSI, ILI, ESI and EII. I know it’s a lot, but my understanding of socionics is pretty bad, so I think that’s the furthest I can go with narrowing down my type. I’m considering all these types because I’m very aware of the fact that my feeble sense of identity will definitely influence my self-typing, so I’d like to have an external, objective opinion before ruling out any other sociotype.
2) What do you deem as your purpose in life?
I’ve thought a lot about this ever since I was little, and ultimately reached the conclusion that humanity does not have an intrinsic purpose. I guess I subscribe to nihilism, since theoretically speaking, I can’t just ignore the fact that concepts such as morality, religion, personal purpose and the like are not essentially objective. While I do acknowledge this fact, I also think that we all are free to do what makes us happy. In my case, I just want to spend the rest of my life refining my knowledge in topics that interest me. I wish I would care more about social issues, but I hate to admit that deep down, I don’t feel that “urgency†to change the world. I still do want to help people and contribute to a better planet, but that’s more out of social expectations than genuine interest in such matters, probably because they don’t directly affect me, resulting in some sort of apathy from my part. I don’t want to sound like a bad person, people don’t *control* what catches their attention and what doesn’t. Despite being quite apathetic towards such matters, I still wish to do my part to improve the world’s situation and help people in bad circumstances, since that would have at least a tiny bit of positive impact on the planet.
I also really want to move to another country and I’m planning to do that after finishing high school. I hate the direction this country is going and the weather here makes me feel bad, so I decided I wanted to move out when I was very young. I’ve been pretty obsessive regarding this matter in the past few years, especially because of currency devaluation, which makes it harder and more expensive to move abroad. I was freaking out a bit this past week because my mom suggested I get a summer job to earn money for university, and insofar as I’d like to help my parents with that, I currently have very poor mental health and I’m afraid it would deteriorate even more. Now I’m a lot calmer because my parents said I can get a student loan (I plan to go to either Portugal or Germany).
3) Of the seven deadly sins, which one(s) do you relate to the most and the least and why?
I can’t decide between envy and sloth. I definitely feel envious of many people simply because most of the time I don’t acknowledge everything good in my life and tend to focus on either all its negative aspects or what is missing, or even on both. I am very pessimistic and that naturally makes me prone to envying literally anyone. I also relate to sloth since I absolutely cannot do what I don’t like. I struggle a lot with getting things done at home and finishing assignments because these things do not interest me whatsoever. Sometimes I’m too lazy to even eat, since I don’t find much joy in it. This is more of a recent problem though, probably because of depression, but I think it still counts.
4) Analyzing your relationships with others, briefly describe:
a) The type of people you are drawn to
Usually people I can relate to and are some sort of outcast, just like me. I really struggle making friends, but I’m usually drawn to people who seem to be interested in niche topics and have some kind of mysterious vibe going on, with few to none friends (perhaps because I’m somewhat possessive). Although that doesn’t mean I do befriend them, since even though I know I have interesting things to say, when I actually have to talk to people my mind goes blank and I just hope they can carry the whole conversation.
b) The type of people who are drawn to you
Hmm, this one is hard to answer. I think I’ll just describe the friends I’ve had over the years.
I currently have one friend in real life, and he seems to be pretty easygoing and relaxed. I think he just wants to play games in peace while still keeping up with school. He also usually asks me questions like “what superpower would you like to have?†or “what time period would you like to visit?†(I think he’s an ISTP in MBTI but I’m not completely sure).
I also had 2 friends at my last school 2 years ago (I moved schools last year and we drifted apart). One of them had another friend group and usually hung out with them. She didn’t do well at school and was pretty artistic and used to draw a lot during classes (she was probably an ISFP in MBTI). The other one was as introverted and shy as me and we got along pretty well, she also wasn’t the best at school and I think she struggled with depression. She used to hand me letters that basically consisted of her venting, and I would try to comfort her with words and convince her to consult a therapist. As opposed to those two, I put a lot of effort into learning and getting good grades; by virtue of that I was known as the “nerd†and “genius†among people and teachers in my class. I only consider myself a nerd, but I’m nowhere near being a genius. I actually think I’m very stupid.
c) The type of people you are repulsed by
People that only care about things I consider “superficial†such as makeup, dating, parties, etc. and people who have many friends. As I said before, I’m kind of possessive and the thought of sharing someone with so many people and potentially not being their “ultimate†friend isn’t very pleasant to me, so I’m naturally repulsed by those who seem to go out every weekend and have more than 2 close friends. I think this stems from my desire to be able to strongly identify with whoever happens to be my friend, and so I naturally expect them to be like me.
5)What are the traits in others that you admire but you cannot emulate yourself? Elaborate.
Hmm, wittiness, I’d say. Most people would consider me “boring†or at least too restrained, since I truly cannot open myself to others. It’s not even that I want to be like that, it’s just physically impossible for me not to be extremely introverted and shy, to the point where I frequently don’t know how to even interact with the “funny†kind of people. I really wish I could be less inhibited, but that is so deeply rooted in me that I think it’s impossible, which is unfortunate.
6) Describe your relationship with the following:
a) Anger
I’m a very negative person, so I’m always in a bad mood and it comes with anger most of the time. It isn’t really justified, I usually just hate everything and everyone solely because I’m not mentally healthy and I start blaming them. My anger is more like passive-aggressiveness, hence my strongest enneagram fix being 9.
b) Shame
I definitely struggle with it to a great extent, especially after socializing. I usually think I was too pretentious and obnoxious and start loathing myself. It also happens when I’m proven wrong in an argument; the thought of being exposed as ignorant in front of others deeply frightens me and is a major source of shame in my life. Despite that, I still engage in discussions (usually concerning typology) quite often.
c) Fear
I wouldn’t say I fear many things. My biggest fear is not being able to accomplish my goal of moving out, and I’ve been feeling it frequently in the last year. I also constantly fear being overwhelmed by school or work; I really desire to be free to pursue my real interests, but I know this is rather hard to accomplish and am coming to terms with it.
d) Love/passion
I don’t experience it much. I recently realized that I’ll only be invested in a friendship if the other person is also interested in it. If they lose interest, the same happens to me and I just don’t care. I’ve never been in a romantic relationship, but I believe it applies to that as well.
e) Conflict
Hmm, I don’t really know how to interpret this. I’d say I seldom feel conflicted, but I can sometimes engage in arguments with my parents and even have emotional outbursts.
7) What are some of the themes that have played a prominent role in your life (ie. A struggle you’ve been unable to conquer, ect)?
My solitude. My parents always tell me it would be good for me to make friends, but I don’t want to, especially in real life. I’ve tried many times before, and it didn’t work. I would either get into abusive friendships or the person wouldn’t really care about me, so after some time the concept of “friendship†lost its spark. I really just want to pursue my interests and be left alone. Also, I usually avoid physical education classes because I’m always picked last and when I do participate, people make fun of me, and I think that is embarrassing. I also hate school due to cliques - they are so harmful, yet will forever exist.
I’ve also always struggled with my appearance, despite not showing it; I was chubby when I was little and people would frequently make remarks about it, and I think it influenced how I turned out to be. I suffered from anorexia in the past and now I’m still very insecure, and I also think I might have body dysmorphia.
8) Answer only one of the following:
a) [College aged and above] What is your area of work/study? Why did you choose this and would you change it? If so, what would be your ideal?
b)[Under college aged] What do you plan on studying/working as in the future? How did you go about deciding this? If this is not your ideal area of pursuit, what would be?
I plan on studying Computer Science and working with technology. I’m not that interested in it, but I’ll still pursue it because I want to have a stable income and not be overwhelmed by too much work, debts, etc. The fact that I’ll be living abroad also influenced my decision, since it will be better for me, as a foreigner, to pursue a career that is in-demand. Yes, I would change it. I think I’d like to study English literature, since I love reading and writing.
9) When meeting a new person, what do you tend to focus on?
I try not to appear too strange but usually fail miserably. I’m often so nervous that I forget to ask simple questions like “what’s your name?†and just keep staring awkwardly to the void hoping the other person asks me questions and continues the conversation. When I have to choose a topic to discuss, I usually select hobbies or any subject commonly found in small talk because I’m too unoriginal to think of something that would appeal to us both.
10) How do you feel about humanity as a whole? What do you feel are some of the biggest problems the human race faces and why?
I have a misanthropic worldview, which is quite unfortunate but I can’t deny it. It saddens me that so many people are too self-absorbed to even heed the needs of the oppressed and minorities, choosing instead to place them below their own selfish desires.
I’d also say that I hate the concept of international borders and nationalism. People do not choose where they are born and I don’t think it is fair to judge them based on trivial criteria such as nationality (this is coming from someone whose country is commonly known for rather negative stereotypes). It is a toxic habit that is deeply rooted in humanity’s early tendency to pivot on social groups to survive the wilderness of life. However, it is not necessary anymore, since our society has greatly developed and now nationalism has only brought negative contributions to the world as a whole.
11) What are some of your hobbies and interests?
I really like learning typology. I’ve been interested in it for about 8 months now; my parents bought Michael Pierce’s book Motes and Beams for my birthday and I’m really looking forward to reading it. I used to love reading fiction books, but now I feel like they have lost their spark. I’m much more interested in nonfiction now. I also like to write poetry, it helps me cope with my feelings and express everything I have repressed deep inside me, which I cannot articulate otherwise. I also love classical music and the somewhat nihilistic, melancholic atmosphere it creates, which makes me feel surprisingly good. Oh, I love philosophy, too. I greatly resonate with Plato’s Theory of Forms, which I learned at school, and am now looking forward to learning more about the different philosophical schools of thought. I also sometimes watch anime. I’m currently watching Monster and I really like it - the plot is good, it does not develop too quickly or slowly, and its gloomy undertone is very pleasant for my senses.
13) How do you usually “hang out†with your friend(s)? When answering, think about what activities you tend to choose, whether you hang out with one person at once or many, whether or not you initiate the interaction.
I’m not very fond of “hanging out with friendsâ€. I don’t even have any friends in the first place. The only times I hung out with people besides my parents, I went to the cinema to watch Star Wars and to an anime convention (about 3 or 4 times). Now I don’t have any close friends and the world is undergoing a pandemic, so I stay at home all the time. And no, it is always other people who invite me to hang out, since I don't really see the appeal of it.
Also, I’ve always hated the idea of hanging out with a big group of people. As I said before, I like to befriend people who don’t have many friends, if they have any at all, just like me. The relationship feels more genuine.
14) What is more important, actions or words? Why?
Actions. An action is worth a thousand words. Or rather, promises. What is the point of promising something, if you will not do it? I feel like I am being quite hypocritical here, since I have a tendency to accept party invitations and the like, only to cancel plans at the last minute, since I hate going out. Oh well.
15) Oh dear, you’ve been cursed by a witch! It’s ok though, you get a choice on which curse you will receive. Will you choose….
a) To never be able to experience the sensation of taste
b) To be immortal
c) To lose your memories
d) To be poor for the rest of your life
e) Or to never experience passion
Elaborate on why!
Option a: to never experience the sensation of taste. Options b, d and e would result in constant depressive episodes, which I am already struggling with and don’t wish to exacerbate. It would also be stupid to pick option c over a. Why would I prefer to lose my - already weak - sense of identity, all the knowledge I’ve accumulated over the years, and biggest goals in order to preserve my sense of taste? I’d even wager that losing my sense of taste would be a blessing rather than a curse - I’m an extremely picky eater and my diet would surely become healthier.
16) What do you hope to avoid being? If it helps, describe a person who embodies what you avoid/you as a villain, ect.
This question is the hardest one so far, but I’ll give it a shot. I really don’t want to become the kind of person I described as “the type of person I am repulsed by†in the 4th question.
17) How do you relate to obsession? Do you tend to "merge" with others or your interests? How do you feel about the idea of doing this?
I tend to be very obsessed with topics I am interested in at the moment and therefore tend to isolate myself in order to pursue my interests (hence my core enneatype 5 typing). I’d say it depends. I will try to accommodate others, but not to the point of “merging†with them. No, I don’t like the idea. I just want to be left alone.
18) Organized or messy? Plans and blueprints or impulse and surprises? What are your preferences and tendencies?
Organized. I usually have a daily to-do list to manage all the tasks I have to complete. It depends, if it’s related to my future, then plans and blueprints, otherwise I don’t care. I just want to finish all my chores and be able to do what I really like. I’m not a clean freak (although my mom definitely is, and it pisses me off).
19) How do you subjectively view comfort and how do you create comfort in your life and surroundings?
I have to like the emotional atmosphere in order to be comfortable. I think it is obvious, but my ideal ambience is that of a rather melancholic undertone. Too much clarity and the “sunshine and rainbows†type beat makes me feel depressed, for some unbeknownst reason. I also like cold weather, since it also contributes to my preferred emotional atmosphere and just feels more comfortable, in my opinion. It is usually my mom (ESE) who gives me advice regarding comfort, e.g. when it’s too hot (gotta love the summer /s) and I’m mumbling complaints, she tells me to do something to make the place colder. This is just a hypothetical instance, but it’s exactly the kind of advice that she gives me.
Thanks in advance. ^^
1) Context:
a) What is your age range and general location (Country so that cultural values can be taken into account)? Do you have any impairments that may affect the way that you answer this questionnaire? Any religious or political beliefs (or anything else along those lines) that also might have an effect?
I’m a teenager (turning 16 on the 13th of February) and am from São Paulo, Brazil. I’d say that the culture here (specifically in my state) is pretty strict regarding school and education; we have to take 12 compulsory subjects in high school, which has more of a negative impact on students than positive. I really value quality over quantity and have seen the effects of workaholism in both myself and other people, so I think I’m pretty opinionated concerning this country’s school system. Also, our culture »in my city/state« resembles the american one quite a lot, so for reference I recommend you picture a typical american big city in order to avoid stereotypes (which, by the way, drive me crazy, but I won’t get into it).
Yes, I have depression and autism (I’m in the process of getting diagnosed). I also think I have social anxiety and body dysmorphia, but I don’t think I’ll ever get diagnosed with them because I really can’t open up to anyone.
I’m not really knowledgeable about politics (I wish I was), but my political alignment is liberal-left. Hmm, I also approve the right to have euthanasia, am pro-choice and against the death penalty.
b) Which types are you currently considering? Why are you considering them and why haven’t you decided on one?
I can say for sure that Se, Te, Ne and Si are not my base function, so that leaves me with ESE, LII, IEI, EIE, LSI, ILI, ESI and EII. I know it’s a lot, but my understanding of socionics is pretty bad, so I think that’s the furthest I can go with narrowing down my type. I’m considering all these types because I’m very aware of the fact that my feeble sense of identity will definitely influence my self-typing, so I’d like to have an external, objective opinion before ruling out any other sociotype.
2) What do you deem as your purpose in life?
I’ve thought a lot about this ever since I was little, and ultimately reached the conclusion that humanity does not have an intrinsic purpose. I guess I subscribe to nihilism, since theoretically speaking, I can’t just ignore the fact that concepts such as morality, religion, personal purpose and the like are not essentially objective. While I do acknowledge this fact, I also think that we all are free to do what makes us happy. In my case, I just want to spend the rest of my life refining my knowledge in topics that interest me. I wish I would care more about social issues, but I hate to admit that deep down, I don’t feel that “urgency†to change the world. I still do want to help people and contribute to a better planet, but that’s more out of social expectations than genuine interest in such matters, probably because they don’t directly affect me, resulting in some sort of apathy from my part. I don’t want to sound like a bad person, people don’t *control* what catches their attention and what doesn’t. Despite being quite apathetic towards such matters, I still wish to do my part to improve the world’s situation and help people in bad circumstances, since that would have at least a tiny bit of positive impact on the planet.
I also really want to move to another country and I’m planning to do that after finishing high school. I hate the direction this country is going and the weather here makes me feel bad, so I decided I wanted to move out when I was very young. I’ve been pretty obsessive regarding this matter in the past few years, especially because of currency devaluation, which makes it harder and more expensive to move abroad. I was freaking out a bit this past week because my mom suggested I get a summer job to earn money for university, and insofar as I’d like to help my parents with that, I currently have very poor mental health and I’m afraid it would deteriorate even more. Now I’m a lot calmer because my parents said I can get a student loan (I plan to go to either Portugal or Germany).
3) Of the seven deadly sins, which one(s) do you relate to the most and the least and why?
I can’t decide between envy and sloth. I definitely feel envious of many people simply because most of the time I don’t acknowledge everything good in my life and tend to focus on either all its negative aspects or what is missing, or even on both. I am very pessimistic and that naturally makes me prone to envying literally anyone. I also relate to sloth since I absolutely cannot do what I don’t like. I struggle a lot with getting things done at home and finishing assignments because these things do not interest me whatsoever. Sometimes I’m too lazy to even eat, since I don’t find much joy in it. This is more of a recent problem though, probably because of depression, but I think it still counts.
4) Analyzing your relationships with others, briefly describe:
a) The type of people you are drawn to
Usually people I can relate to and are some sort of outcast, just like me. I really struggle making friends, but I’m usually drawn to people who seem to be interested in niche topics and have some kind of mysterious vibe going on, with few to none friends (perhaps because I’m somewhat possessive). Although that doesn’t mean I do befriend them, since even though I know I have interesting things to say, when I actually have to talk to people my mind goes blank and I just hope they can carry the whole conversation.
b) The type of people who are drawn to you
Hmm, this one is hard to answer. I think I’ll just describe the friends I’ve had over the years.
I currently have one friend in real life, and he seems to be pretty easygoing and relaxed. I think he just wants to play games in peace while still keeping up with school. He also usually asks me questions like “what superpower would you like to have?†or “what time period would you like to visit?†(I think he’s an ISTP in MBTI but I’m not completely sure).
I also had 2 friends at my last school 2 years ago (I moved schools last year and we drifted apart). One of them had another friend group and usually hung out with them. She didn’t do well at school and was pretty artistic and used to draw a lot during classes (she was probably an ISFP in MBTI). The other one was as introverted and shy as me and we got along pretty well, she also wasn’t the best at school and I think she struggled with depression. She used to hand me letters that basically consisted of her venting, and I would try to comfort her with words and convince her to consult a therapist. As opposed to those two, I put a lot of effort into learning and getting good grades; by virtue of that I was known as the “nerd†and “genius†among people and teachers in my class. I only consider myself a nerd, but I’m nowhere near being a genius. I actually think I’m very stupid.
c) The type of people you are repulsed by
People that only care about things I consider “superficial†such as makeup, dating, parties, etc. and people who have many friends. As I said before, I’m kind of possessive and the thought of sharing someone with so many people and potentially not being their “ultimate†friend isn’t very pleasant to me, so I’m naturally repulsed by those who seem to go out every weekend and have more than 2 close friends. I think this stems from my desire to be able to strongly identify with whoever happens to be my friend, and so I naturally expect them to be like me.
5)What are the traits in others that you admire but you cannot emulate yourself? Elaborate.
Hmm, wittiness, I’d say. Most people would consider me “boring†or at least too restrained, since I truly cannot open myself to others. It’s not even that I want to be like that, it’s just physically impossible for me not to be extremely introverted and shy, to the point where I frequently don’t know how to even interact with the “funny†kind of people. I really wish I could be less inhibited, but that is so deeply rooted in me that I think it’s impossible, which is unfortunate.
6) Describe your relationship with the following:
a) Anger
I’m a very negative person, so I’m always in a bad mood and it comes with anger most of the time. It isn’t really justified, I usually just hate everything and everyone solely because I’m not mentally healthy and I start blaming them. My anger is more like passive-aggressiveness, hence my strongest enneagram fix being 9.
b) Shame
I definitely struggle with it to a great extent, especially after socializing. I usually think I was too pretentious and obnoxious and start loathing myself. It also happens when I’m proven wrong in an argument; the thought of being exposed as ignorant in front of others deeply frightens me and is a major source of shame in my life. Despite that, I still engage in discussions (usually concerning typology) quite often.
c) Fear
I wouldn’t say I fear many things. My biggest fear is not being able to accomplish my goal of moving out, and I’ve been feeling it frequently in the last year. I also constantly fear being overwhelmed by school or work; I really desire to be free to pursue my real interests, but I know this is rather hard to accomplish and am coming to terms with it.
d) Love/passion
I don’t experience it much. I recently realized that I’ll only be invested in a friendship if the other person is also interested in it. If they lose interest, the same happens to me and I just don’t care. I’ve never been in a romantic relationship, but I believe it applies to that as well.
e) Conflict
Hmm, I don’t really know how to interpret this. I’d say I seldom feel conflicted, but I can sometimes engage in arguments with my parents and even have emotional outbursts.
7) What are some of the themes that have played a prominent role in your life (ie. A struggle you’ve been unable to conquer, ect)?
My solitude. My parents always tell me it would be good for me to make friends, but I don’t want to, especially in real life. I’ve tried many times before, and it didn’t work. I would either get into abusive friendships or the person wouldn’t really care about me, so after some time the concept of “friendship†lost its spark. I really just want to pursue my interests and be left alone. Also, I usually avoid physical education classes because I’m always picked last and when I do participate, people make fun of me, and I think that is embarrassing. I also hate school due to cliques - they are so harmful, yet will forever exist.
I’ve also always struggled with my appearance, despite not showing it; I was chubby when I was little and people would frequently make remarks about it, and I think it influenced how I turned out to be. I suffered from anorexia in the past and now I’m still very insecure, and I also think I might have body dysmorphia.
8) Answer only one of the following:
a) [College aged and above] What is your area of work/study? Why did you choose this and would you change it? If so, what would be your ideal?
b)[Under college aged] What do you plan on studying/working as in the future? How did you go about deciding this? If this is not your ideal area of pursuit, what would be?
I plan on studying Computer Science and working with technology. I’m not that interested in it, but I’ll still pursue it because I want to have a stable income and not be overwhelmed by too much work, debts, etc. The fact that I’ll be living abroad also influenced my decision, since it will be better for me, as a foreigner, to pursue a career that is in-demand. Yes, I would change it. I think I’d like to study English literature, since I love reading and writing.
9) When meeting a new person, what do you tend to focus on?
I try not to appear too strange but usually fail miserably. I’m often so nervous that I forget to ask simple questions like “what’s your name?†and just keep staring awkwardly to the void hoping the other person asks me questions and continues the conversation. When I have to choose a topic to discuss, I usually select hobbies or any subject commonly found in small talk because I’m too unoriginal to think of something that would appeal to us both.
10) How do you feel about humanity as a whole? What do you feel are some of the biggest problems the human race faces and why?
I have a misanthropic worldview, which is quite unfortunate but I can’t deny it. It saddens me that so many people are too self-absorbed to even heed the needs of the oppressed and minorities, choosing instead to place them below their own selfish desires.
I’d also say that I hate the concept of international borders and nationalism. People do not choose where they are born and I don’t think it is fair to judge them based on trivial criteria such as nationality (this is coming from someone whose country is commonly known for rather negative stereotypes). It is a toxic habit that is deeply rooted in humanity’s early tendency to pivot on social groups to survive the wilderness of life. However, it is not necessary anymore, since our society has greatly developed and now nationalism has only brought negative contributions to the world as a whole.
11) What are some of your hobbies and interests?
I really like learning typology. I’ve been interested in it for about 8 months now; my parents bought Michael Pierce’s book Motes and Beams for my birthday and I’m really looking forward to reading it. I used to love reading fiction books, but now I feel like they have lost their spark. I’m much more interested in nonfiction now. I also like to write poetry, it helps me cope with my feelings and express everything I have repressed deep inside me, which I cannot articulate otherwise. I also love classical music and the somewhat nihilistic, melancholic atmosphere it creates, which makes me feel surprisingly good. Oh, I love philosophy, too. I greatly resonate with Plato’s Theory of Forms, which I learned at school, and am now looking forward to learning more about the different philosophical schools of thought. I also sometimes watch anime. I’m currently watching Monster and I really like it - the plot is good, it does not develop too quickly or slowly, and its gloomy undertone is very pleasant for my senses.
13) How do you usually “hang out†with your friend(s)? When answering, think about what activities you tend to choose, whether you hang out with one person at once or many, whether or not you initiate the interaction.
I’m not very fond of “hanging out with friendsâ€. I don’t even have any friends in the first place. The only times I hung out with people besides my parents, I went to the cinema to watch Star Wars and to an anime convention (about 3 or 4 times). Now I don’t have any close friends and the world is undergoing a pandemic, so I stay at home all the time. And no, it is always other people who invite me to hang out, since I don't really see the appeal of it.
Also, I’ve always hated the idea of hanging out with a big group of people. As I said before, I like to befriend people who don’t have many friends, if they have any at all, just like me. The relationship feels more genuine.
14) What is more important, actions or words? Why?
Actions. An action is worth a thousand words. Or rather, promises. What is the point of promising something, if you will not do it? I feel like I am being quite hypocritical here, since I have a tendency to accept party invitations and the like, only to cancel plans at the last minute, since I hate going out. Oh well.
15) Oh dear, you’ve been cursed by a witch! It’s ok though, you get a choice on which curse you will receive. Will you choose….
a) To never be able to experience the sensation of taste
b) To be immortal
c) To lose your memories
d) To be poor for the rest of your life
e) Or to never experience passion
Elaborate on why!
Option a: to never experience the sensation of taste. Options b, d and e would result in constant depressive episodes, which I am already struggling with and don’t wish to exacerbate. It would also be stupid to pick option c over a. Why would I prefer to lose my - already weak - sense of identity, all the knowledge I’ve accumulated over the years, and biggest goals in order to preserve my sense of taste? I’d even wager that losing my sense of taste would be a blessing rather than a curse - I’m an extremely picky eater and my diet would surely become healthier.
16) What do you hope to avoid being? If it helps, describe a person who embodies what you avoid/you as a villain, ect.
This question is the hardest one so far, but I’ll give it a shot. I really don’t want to become the kind of person I described as “the type of person I am repulsed by†in the 4th question.
17) How do you relate to obsession? Do you tend to "merge" with others or your interests? How do you feel about the idea of doing this?
I tend to be very obsessed with topics I am interested in at the moment and therefore tend to isolate myself in order to pursue my interests (hence my core enneatype 5 typing). I’d say it depends. I will try to accommodate others, but not to the point of “merging†with them. No, I don’t like the idea. I just want to be left alone.
18) Organized or messy? Plans and blueprints or impulse and surprises? What are your preferences and tendencies?
Organized. I usually have a daily to-do list to manage all the tasks I have to complete. It depends, if it’s related to my future, then plans and blueprints, otherwise I don’t care. I just want to finish all my chores and be able to do what I really like. I’m not a clean freak (although my mom definitely is, and it pisses me off).
19) How do you subjectively view comfort and how do you create comfort in your life and surroundings?
I have to like the emotional atmosphere in order to be comfortable. I think it is obvious, but my ideal ambience is that of a rather melancholic undertone. Too much clarity and the “sunshine and rainbows†type beat makes me feel depressed, for some unbeknownst reason. I also like cold weather, since it also contributes to my preferred emotional atmosphere and just feels more comfortable, in my opinion. It is usually my mom (ESE) who gives me advice regarding comfort, e.g. when it’s too hot (gotta love the summer /s) and I’m mumbling complaints, she tells me to do something to make the place colder. This is just a hypothetical instance, but it’s exactly the kind of advice that she gives me.
Thanks in advance. ^^
