baked potato
New member
- Joined
- Aug 24, 2018
- Messages
- 2
WARNING: English isn’t my native language and I hardly ever use my writing skills, so I apology for all the possible grammatical errors and my clumsy wording.
I'm going to copy what I've already posted on PerC here:
I spend a lot of time alone and I’m basically okay with it, yet I’d like to contact with some people I know more. I need to recharge after socializing, even if I did enjoy the company of others. When I get into a new environment, I tend to be shy and reserved initially, and it takes me quite a long time to start feeling comfortable (I suppose it has a lot to do with my low self-esteem), but after I got used to that community, I become pretty outgoing and loud, and I’m not afraid to express my opinion freely (I usually don’t mind personal questions either). I’m scared of talking to strangers (e.g. shop assistants, bus drivers), I have phone anxiety, too. I tend to be straightforward and a little bit blunt when communicating with peers, though I don’t intend to hurt anyone’s feelings. I’m able to analyze/think logically and formulate objective critism, I’m cynical in most cases, I’m prone to use self-irony or black humor and I like sarcasm a lot. Although I love to entertain people, they don’t seem to realize that sometimes I feel like a sad clown.
I’m always lost in thought, my inner voice talks so much I frequently have trouble sleeping at night. I enjoy thinking while walking (both in my room and on the streets) and listening to music to exclude the outside world. I’m almost never aware of my surroundings. I have imaginary conversations all the time, and I also like to imagine a certain person is listening. When I talk to someone (IRL
) I often find myself jumping from one thought to another, I can’t always finish my own sentences and I usually gesticulate. I wouldn’t consider myself as someone who is full of creative/innovative ideas, but I really like people who have remote associations and an absurd sense of humor. I’m neither a blind rule-follower nor a born rulebreaker, I prefer to decide myself if a rule or norm makes sense or not, I absolutely hate social conventions. I believe that "change (itself) isn’t good or bad, it just is", so I accept and even support it when it’s needed, but I don’t necessarily strive for it. I rely on my experiences and my assumptions probably the same.
The use of alcohol and marijuana doesn’t fall too far from my lifestyle. I’m not an addict (I swear), I’m just less anxious and more cheerful in that way, and most importantly I feel much closer to others. I don't do this everyday, though. I’m not sure if it can be related to some Sensing function, or I’m just mentally unstable. Besides, I prone to binge on food from time to time.
I have a clear preference for speculating over acting, I want to understand almost everything as deeply as possible, I won’t rest until I find a logical, satisfying solution. While I don’t really care about natural sciences, I find history and literature interesting, I try to learn as much as I can about the structure and functioning of society, and the aspects of human nature. Whereas I value objectivity, I regularly find myself looking for something that goes far beyond common sense, I think it might be "the absolute/universal truth". I don't know whether what’s right and wrong is just a man-made concept, but I want to believe it's not. I have a hard time reconciling what’s reasonable and achievable, and what’s the ethical thing to do, I tend to be a little bit idealistic, and I’ve been struggling with existential depression for years now. In general, I feel my emotions intensely, I talk about certain things with a lot of passion, and therefore I might seem aggressive at times. I think I’m both rational and very sensitive, I can act like an a**hole sometimes, but deep down I have a little sympathy for everyone. I want to understand what motivates people and why they are who they are, I like to see situations from their perspective. Anyway, I recently recognized that I feel like I need acceptance and affection to survive.
If there’s one thing I am sure of, it’s that I can’t possibly be a J. I’m lazy, disorganized and scatterbrained as hell, I constantly forget about things, leave my belongings around and I'm always late for everything, literally. Ironically, I do show some symptoms of OCD, e.g. rewinding songs and series/movie scenes over and over again.
QUESTIONNAIRE:
0. Is there anything that may affect the way you answer the questions? For example, a stressful time, mental illness, medications, special life circumstances? Other useful information includes sex, age, and current state of mind.
I’ve been diagnosed with bipolar II disorder this year (though I doubt whether it’s the real problem with me), and now I’m under medical treatment but still feel depressed. This may be the reason why I’m so unmotivated for almost everything. As I said before, I might have obsessive-compulsive disorder, too. I’m a 20-year-old female, if that counts.
1. Click on this link: Flickr: Explore! Look at the random photo for about 30 seconds. Copy and paste it here, and write about your impression of it.
This little owl’s expression makes me associate to a grumpy old man (my grandpa when my grandma complains about something, lol) for some reason. It’s cute, though. I can see its wings as Bob Marley-ish rasta hair (it looks like it smoke weed after all), which makes this photo even funnier to me.
Owl is the only bird I can tolerate (because of its ’humanlike’ facial structure), I find all the others creepy.
2. You are with a group of people in a car, heading to a different town to see your favourite band/artist/musician. Suddenly, the car breaks down for an unknown reason in the middle of nowhere. What are your initial thoughts? What are your outward reactions?
I’d be extremely furious and I would probably start swearing and feeling sorry for myself. In situations like that, I tend to be a melodramatic idiot and to ask myself questions like "What have I done to deserve this?". A few minutes later, I’d try to find a solution to the problem.
3. You somehow make it to the concert. The driver wants to go to the afterparty that was announced (and assure you they won't drink so they can drive back later). How do you feel about this party? What do you do?
If there was a party where I could drink, I’d like to go there of my own accord (does this make me an ESFP?), and so would my friends. However, if the driver wouldn’t consume alcohol, I would also stay sober for the sake of expressing my gratitude to them for their help (it wouldn’t be too respectful of me to get into their car drunk). If the question is would I be bothered by the change in my plans, my answer is no.
4. On the drive back, your friends are talking. A friend makes a claim that clashes with your current beliefs. What is your inward reaction? What do you outwardly say?
I’d tell them openly that I disagree with them, and I’d hope we could have a calm, mentally stimulating discussion about the topic. I love a good argument. I don’t respect taboos, yet I’m trying to be civil and courteous to my talking partner in most cases. Nevertheless, I easily lose my temper when I’m confronted something that goes against my values.
5. What would you do if you actually saw/experienced something that clashes with your previous beliefs, experiences, and habits?
If this belief of mine is based on my intellect or moral sense, my ego hurts everytime I have to question it. I hate it when I’m not feeling good/smart enough to find "the answer to life, the universe and everything", and I’m willing to defend my "true" convictions at any time. If something just simply contradict my experiences, I can accept it more easily, I suppose. When I turn out to be ill-informed, I’m ashamed to admit my deficiencies. I don’t really have habits, or at least none of them are important to me.
6. What are some of your most important values? How did you come about determining them? How can they change?
If you don’t mind, I’d quote the words of others for this one.
Curiosity – "The future belongs to the curious. The ones who are not afraid to try it, explore it, poke at it, question it and turn it inside out."
Truth – "I will never compromise Truth for the sake of getting along with people who can only get along when we agree."
Enjoyment – "Life is too short to not have fun; we are only here for a short time compared to the sun and the moon and all that."
Compassion – "I have no idea what's awaiting me, or what will happen when this all ends. For the moment I know this: there are sick people and they need curing." AND "The assumption that animals are without rights and the illusion that our treatment of them has no moral significance is a positively outrageous example of Western crudity and barbarity. Universal compassion is the only guarantee of morality."
Being able to laugh at yourself (and life in general) – "[…] wasting what little breath he did have laughing at himself. Because sometimes, that’s all you could do. You make a f*cking stupid mistake, and you could only call yourself an idiot and then snap back before you screwed up again."
I determined them by looking for something permanent and eternal in a world of uncertainty, therefore I don’t think they can change, though this list may expand over time.
7. a) What about your personality most distinguishes you from everyone else? b) If you could change one thing about you personality, what would it be? Why?
a) I don’t find myself particularly interesting or special, but I have to admit that I can be quite witty or even quirky IRL compared to the most of my acquaintances (especially to females). I let people see my goofy side and I love my own sarcasm. From what I experience, I can say that I’m more benevolent to others than people I know, my antipathy needs to be earned (it doesn’t mean I can’t be rude now and then).
b) Just one thing? I’ll rather give you a few: my lack of confidence and motivation, my laziness, my pessimism, my propensity for lateness, and I don’t know whether this is a personality trait, but I want to be smarter than my current self, and also imaginative/talented enough to write good novels and short stories (they say I express my thoughts pretty well in Hungarian). I’d like to change these simply because I’m dissatisfied with the way I am, and I want to become a better version of myself one day.
8. How do you treat hunches or gut feelings? In what situations are they most often triggered?
I’m not sure what "hunches" and "gut feelings" are supposed to mean, but when I have an impression about something or somebody, I accept it, yet I’d trust it more if I had a logical explanation for it.
9. a) What activities energize you most? b) What activities drain you most? Why?
a) Do that ’thinking while walking’ thing and talking about interesting (for me) topics passionately count as activities? Oh, and I truly love to watch thought-provoking series and movies.
b) It’s a funny thing, but I kind of enjoy monotonous work (in the short run) as long as it doesn’t require concentration and I can daydream during it. What really drains me is probably training and activities I have to focus on but not interested in, e.g. accounting. Too much socializing and wild partying do the same.
10. What do you repress about your outward behavior or internal thought process when around others? Why?
I joke around while dying inside because this is my best way to cope with the pain.
I’m uncomfortable with showing the ones I care about my love for them because I can’t stand being vulnerable. (I don’t cry in front of people for the same reason.)
I don’t admit if I think I’m good at something because I don’t want others to have high expectations for me, I don’t want to prove anything to anyone.
I think that’s it.
I'm going to copy what I've already posted on PerC here:
I spend a lot of time alone and I’m basically okay with it, yet I’d like to contact with some people I know more. I need to recharge after socializing, even if I did enjoy the company of others. When I get into a new environment, I tend to be shy and reserved initially, and it takes me quite a long time to start feeling comfortable (I suppose it has a lot to do with my low self-esteem), but after I got used to that community, I become pretty outgoing and loud, and I’m not afraid to express my opinion freely (I usually don’t mind personal questions either). I’m scared of talking to strangers (e.g. shop assistants, bus drivers), I have phone anxiety, too. I tend to be straightforward and a little bit blunt when communicating with peers, though I don’t intend to hurt anyone’s feelings. I’m able to analyze/think logically and formulate objective critism, I’m cynical in most cases, I’m prone to use self-irony or black humor and I like sarcasm a lot. Although I love to entertain people, they don’t seem to realize that sometimes I feel like a sad clown.
I’m always lost in thought, my inner voice talks so much I frequently have trouble sleeping at night. I enjoy thinking while walking (both in my room and on the streets) and listening to music to exclude the outside world. I’m almost never aware of my surroundings. I have imaginary conversations all the time, and I also like to imagine a certain person is listening. When I talk to someone (IRL
) I often find myself jumping from one thought to another, I can’t always finish my own sentences and I usually gesticulate. I wouldn’t consider myself as someone who is full of creative/innovative ideas, but I really like people who have remote associations and an absurd sense of humor. I’m neither a blind rule-follower nor a born rulebreaker, I prefer to decide myself if a rule or norm makes sense or not, I absolutely hate social conventions. I believe that "change (itself) isn’t good or bad, it just is", so I accept and even support it when it’s needed, but I don’t necessarily strive for it. I rely on my experiences and my assumptions probably the same.The use of alcohol and marijuana doesn’t fall too far from my lifestyle. I’m not an addict (I swear
), I’m just less anxious and more cheerful in that way, and most importantly I feel much closer to others. I don't do this everyday, though. I’m not sure if it can be related to some Sensing function, or I’m just mentally unstable. Besides, I prone to binge on food from time to time.I have a clear preference for speculating over acting, I want to understand almost everything as deeply as possible, I won’t rest until I find a logical, satisfying solution. While I don’t really care about natural sciences, I find history and literature interesting, I try to learn as much as I can about the structure and functioning of society, and the aspects of human nature. Whereas I value objectivity, I regularly find myself looking for something that goes far beyond common sense, I think it might be "the absolute/universal truth". I don't know whether what’s right and wrong is just a man-made concept, but I want to believe it's not. I have a hard time reconciling what’s reasonable and achievable, and what’s the ethical thing to do, I tend to be a little bit idealistic, and I’ve been struggling with existential depression for years now. In general, I feel my emotions intensely, I talk about certain things with a lot of passion, and therefore I might seem aggressive at times. I think I’m both rational and very sensitive, I can act like an a**hole sometimes, but deep down I have a little sympathy for everyone. I want to understand what motivates people and why they are who they are, I like to see situations from their perspective. Anyway, I recently recognized that I feel like I need acceptance and affection to survive.
If there’s one thing I am sure of, it’s that I can’t possibly be a J. I’m lazy, disorganized and scatterbrained as hell, I constantly forget about things, leave my belongings around and I'm always late for everything, literally. Ironically, I do show some symptoms of OCD, e.g. rewinding songs and series/movie scenes over and over again.
QUESTIONNAIRE:
0. Is there anything that may affect the way you answer the questions? For example, a stressful time, mental illness, medications, special life circumstances? Other useful information includes sex, age, and current state of mind.
I’ve been diagnosed with bipolar II disorder this year (though I doubt whether it’s the real problem with me), and now I’m under medical treatment but still feel depressed. This may be the reason why I’m so unmotivated for almost everything. As I said before, I might have obsessive-compulsive disorder, too. I’m a 20-year-old female, if that counts.
1. Click on this link: Flickr: Explore! Look at the random photo for about 30 seconds. Copy and paste it here, and write about your impression of it.
This little owl’s expression makes me associate to a grumpy old man (my grandpa when my grandma complains about something, lol) for some reason. It’s cute, though. I can see its wings as Bob Marley-ish rasta hair (it looks like it smoke weed after all), which makes this photo even funnier to me.
Owl is the only bird I can tolerate (because of its ’humanlike’ facial structure), I find all the others creepy.
2. You are with a group of people in a car, heading to a different town to see your favourite band/artist/musician. Suddenly, the car breaks down for an unknown reason in the middle of nowhere. What are your initial thoughts? What are your outward reactions?
I’d be extremely furious and I would probably start swearing and feeling sorry for myself. In situations like that, I tend to be a melodramatic idiot and to ask myself questions like "What have I done to deserve this?". A few minutes later, I’d try to find a solution to the problem.
3. You somehow make it to the concert. The driver wants to go to the afterparty that was announced (and assure you they won't drink so they can drive back later). How do you feel about this party? What do you do?
If there was a party where I could drink, I’d like to go there of my own accord (does this make me an ESFP?
), and so would my friends. However, if the driver wouldn’t consume alcohol, I would also stay sober for the sake of expressing my gratitude to them for their help (it wouldn’t be too respectful of me to get into their car drunk). If the question is would I be bothered by the change in my plans, my answer is no.4. On the drive back, your friends are talking. A friend makes a claim that clashes with your current beliefs. What is your inward reaction? What do you outwardly say?
I’d tell them openly that I disagree with them, and I’d hope we could have a calm, mentally stimulating discussion about the topic. I love a good argument. I don’t respect taboos, yet I’m trying to be civil and courteous to my talking partner in most cases. Nevertheless, I easily lose my temper when I’m confronted something that goes against my values.
5. What would you do if you actually saw/experienced something that clashes with your previous beliefs, experiences, and habits?
If this belief of mine is based on my intellect or moral sense, my ego hurts everytime I have to question it. I hate it when I’m not feeling good/smart enough to find "the answer to life, the universe and everything", and I’m willing to defend my "true" convictions at any time. If something just simply contradict my experiences, I can accept it more easily, I suppose. When I turn out to be ill-informed, I’m ashamed to admit my deficiencies. I don’t really have habits, or at least none of them are important to me.
6. What are some of your most important values? How did you come about determining them? How can they change?
If you don’t mind, I’d quote the words of others for this one.
Curiosity – "The future belongs to the curious. The ones who are not afraid to try it, explore it, poke at it, question it and turn it inside out."
Truth – "I will never compromise Truth for the sake of getting along with people who can only get along when we agree."
Enjoyment – "Life is too short to not have fun; we are only here for a short time compared to the sun and the moon and all that."
Compassion – "I have no idea what's awaiting me, or what will happen when this all ends. For the moment I know this: there are sick people and they need curing." AND "The assumption that animals are without rights and the illusion that our treatment of them has no moral significance is a positively outrageous example of Western crudity and barbarity. Universal compassion is the only guarantee of morality."
Being able to laugh at yourself (and life in general) – "[…] wasting what little breath he did have laughing at himself. Because sometimes, that’s all you could do. You make a f*cking stupid mistake, and you could only call yourself an idiot and then snap back before you screwed up again."
I determined them by looking for something permanent and eternal in a world of uncertainty, therefore I don’t think they can change, though this list may expand over time.
7. a) What about your personality most distinguishes you from everyone else? b) If you could change one thing about you personality, what would it be? Why?
a) I don’t find myself particularly interesting or special, but I have to admit that I can be quite witty or even quirky IRL compared to the most of my acquaintances (especially to females). I let people see my goofy side and I love my own sarcasm. From what I experience, I can say that I’m more benevolent to others than people I know, my antipathy needs to be earned (it doesn’t mean I can’t be rude now and then).
b) Just one thing? I’ll rather give you a few: my lack of confidence and motivation, my laziness, my pessimism, my propensity for lateness, and I don’t know whether this is a personality trait, but I want to be smarter than my current self, and also imaginative/talented enough to write good novels and short stories (they say I express my thoughts pretty well in Hungarian
). I’d like to change these simply because I’m dissatisfied with the way I am, and I want to become a better version of myself one day.8. How do you treat hunches or gut feelings? In what situations are they most often triggered?
I’m not sure what "hunches" and "gut feelings" are supposed to mean, but when I have an impression about something or somebody, I accept it, yet I’d trust it more if I had a logical explanation for it.
9. a) What activities energize you most? b) What activities drain you most? Why?
a) Do that ’thinking while walking’ thing and talking about interesting (for me) topics passionately count as activities? Oh, and I truly love to watch thought-provoking series and movies.
b) It’s a funny thing, but I kind of enjoy monotonous work (in the short run) as long as it doesn’t require concentration and I can daydream during it.
What really drains me is probably training and activities I have to focus on but not interested in, e.g. accounting. Too much socializing and wild partying do the same.10. What do you repress about your outward behavior or internal thought process when around others? Why?
I joke around while dying inside because this is my best way to cope with the pain.
I’m uncomfortable with showing the ones I care about my love for them because I can’t stand being vulnerable. (I don’t cry in front of people for the same reason.)
I don’t admit if I think I’m good at something because I don’t want others to have high expectations for me, I don’t want to prove anything to anyone.
I think that’s it.
