0. Is there anything that may affect the way you answer the questions? For example, a stressful time, mental illness, medications, special life circumstances? Other useful information includes sex, age, and current state of mind.
Yeah, I’m all sorts of stressed out right now. I’m in my 20s, I’m a male, and I’m still figuring life out. I’ve become rather jaded over the last few years. I used to be a doormat and so willing to please others but I’ve been backstabbed and betrayed so many times that I learned my lesson. I still am the same giving person but I am much more exclusive now until someone is loyal.
Look at the random photo for about 30 seconds. Copy and paste it here, and write about your impression of it. (its a pic of a bunch of birds on a cliff and there is one bird in the air flying weird)
Sure here’s a story
Grindle the low flying lived on a tall cliff surrounded by friends that overlooked his deformed wings. The wings allowed him to merely flutter before falling back to the ground but no one judged him for them. One day while walking in the woods, Grindle was pulled aside by a soothsayer and was warned that all of the birds in the area were in terrible danger and that they would all die of a terrible curse unless he warned them to fly away and never return. Grindle realized that due to his condition, he would be unable to fly with them and he would die there alone on that cliff. As he returned home, he felt a great fear and a terrible sadness at the thought of being abandoned. On arrival, his friends all looked at him and greeted him warmly. Hey, we missed you! Wanna play a game Grindle? One of them said. “I love them too much to tell themâ€, Grindle said to himself as he joined in.
2. You are with a group of people in a car, heading to a different town to see your favourite band/artist/musician. Suddenly, the car breaks down for an unknown reason in the middle of nowhere. What are your initial thoughts? What are your outward reactions?
First of all, though I am embarrassed to admit it, I don’t like going to concerts. I also disliked music until I was like ten and then I realized some music is good but I still don’t know how to make a decent playlist and I always pass the aux cord because I will listen to one good song on repeat and then switch genres but I don’t know how to make playlists for normal people. I know it’s cool to be a concert person so I sometimes pretend like I like it but I would never travel to one personally unless I was going with friends I liked talking to and they wanted to. So let’s change that and say that I am heading home from said concert and my car breaks down. I need to get home! I’m so tired. Under stress I can become negative but I’m also great at solving problems. I usually only complain if I am actually unable to do anything at all but if there is hope to solve the issue I stay positive and quiet and get to work quickly. I do react and make decisions on my own very fast.
3. You somehow make it to the concert. The driver wants to go to the afterparty that was announced (and assure you they won't drink so they can drive back later). How do you feel about this party? What do you do?
Oh hell naw. I will definitely be affected by their asking me to come but I usually will do what I need to. I have an inner war between choosing to connect deeper with friends and my raging need to be alone. One time I went to a party with my sis who drove me and loves talking and she said I can’t leave until she’s done. It’s just a work get together so I’m thinking home by 10 right? You would be right if you were talking about everyone else. My sister stayed till 1 am and only the house owners and one other person were there. I literally had to walk to the other side of the room and hide on the couch. I kept asking to leave because I needed space. I literally got to the point where I was openly asking to leave and she said “no, you agreed to this†so I sat there in torment and what’s funny is that I finally got home and I think I stayed up by myself after. I can be really really loud and social. Not anymore, but when I was in middle school I was that guy who would do any prank and I actually openly lead a rebellion against a controlling teacher and you wouldn’t believe the stuff we got away with. But it’s weird, that really social version me comes out like once every while and then it’s done for a long time. So yeah I can party but I’m not always in the same state of energy and I have been known to down energy drinks to artificially increase my social skills. Which works oddly enough about half the time.
4. On the drive back, your friends are talking. A friend makes a claim that clashes with your current beliefs. What is your inward reaction? What do you outwardly say?
People that I don’t know well might do that and I would just ignore it. Its like, do I really wanna reality check this person and everyone will get mad. If it’s someone that will get raging and start yelling, why would I waste my time. It’s funny, my good friends know better than to drop the gauntlet on me. I usually ignore stuff because I don’t want to disturb the peace but here is my contract....You can remain ignorant around me and I will try to ignore that and just be nice but if you are gonna step into the arena and call me out when I have held myself back from speaking for so long.... game on. I will openly call them out jokingly but sincerely. Usually, I satirical state their entire worldview to make the point. Somehow, I manage to pull this off while getting laughs. I only know one friend that can take me on in a debate and we are infamous in our friend group. They see our debates coming from a mile away and they actively try to prevent it lol. Good friend. We learn a lot from each other. I’m very competitive in the social realm but if someone knows more than me, I admit that. For example, this friend is knowledgeable in politics which I don’t care about. If I state something political, I will honor his knowledge by saying it lightly and with the disclaimer that I am not well educated in politics.
5. What would you do if you actually saw/experienced something that clashes with your previous beliefs, experiences, and habits?
I’m a very aggressive defender.
Well like for example, one time in high school a kid in my class came in with a bad haircut. Real insecure guy and we’ve all been there. The guy looked like he wanted to cry and some bully laughed at him and kept saying it looked stupid. I walked up to him and looked him in the bully in the eye saying, “His hair will grow back and it’s not that bad. When you make fun of him it just shows how small and insecure you are. Don’t make fun of him, it makes you look weak and we can see you.†He didn’t do it again.
Another time I was a very little kid and I saw a big kid beating up a little kid on the playground and my dad said I ran up to the kid twice my size and started fighting him.
Or the time when two big bullies took my ball from me when I was a little kid and my grandpa said I grabbed them both by the neck and told them that the ball was mine and they ran from me.
6. What are some of your most important values? How did you come about determining them? How can they change?
Values? My values come mostly from outside sources but I feel very strongly about them. I would say it’s like an integration kind of thing. I would say my top principles are fairness, passion, and selflessness. I believe inherently people are equals to some extent. You’ll never see me freak out about a celebrity. I talk to the most beautiful girls and the less attractive ones exactly the same. I have a hard time telling who I like or what I like so to me people are just people. I grew up in church and I definitely saw a ton of ignorant people but I also saw some very intelligent people. I was reading and watching theological materials at the age of 10 by my own volition. I was told to value church and God and the Bible but I couldn’t really until I could defend them. Now that I understand the arguments behind it and it’s a genuine position , I believe it very strongly. I’ve attended certain churches that could not defend the positions they took and I left them even though I really liked the church. Inconsistency is a huge problem for me.
7. a) What about your personality most distinguishes you from everyone else?
My parents said I was like an adult as a kid. I was concerned about what I would do and what my plans were. I was the type of kid that would prefer talking to older people and I would actually give work advice to my mom while I was in elementary school. People say I’m really weird but I don’t think so. I don’t enjoy going places and seeing concerts. I do really like fine food and drinks though. No amount is too expensive for me to experience the highest quality at least once. Mostly though, I feel like I’m watching the world from the sidelines. It’s like I’m not a player in the game but I’m seeing it all go down and occasionally I jump in to correct something that has gone wrong and I can be rather aggressive when that happens. I think I see more than most people and it’s frustrating because very few people I meet understand me. Most people look shallow to me but it’s like I see them from a zoomed out perspective and I can understand why they are the way they are. Mostly I look at things detached and zoomed out. It less like things happen to me and more like I watch them happen to me. I’m in my 20s but people in their 40s tell me I’m an old soul and when I go to church theological discussions people are shocked by my thoughts. Usually I just try to share wisdom with others which is what I love to do but I feel lonely. Often I want to talk about stuff that matters but people that are surface level drive me crazy. Even though I’m trying to stop, I will sometimes say something inflammatory because I desperately wanna talk about something that doesn’t bore me.
b) If you could change one thing about you personality, what would it be? Why?
Hard question. I guess I’d want to be regular. It must be so much easier to not be treated like an outcast that doesn’t care about all the common every day stuff. At the same time, would I be willing to lose my piercing perspective? No, absolutely not. But if someone recreated me as an everyday person against my will I’m sure I’d be much happier version of myself.
8. How do you treat hunches or gut feelings? In what situations are they most often triggered?
I respect my instincts by exploring them. Hunches I kind of ignore but I can almost feel like a pressure in my chest if I don’t explore my doubts. The people that trigger me are people that get triggered. I get mad when people try to contain me or control me. When I accept you but you don’t accept me. If someone makes an emotional statement about God it pisses me off to no end. To mess with me some people will tell me something horrible about God that is 100% just an emotional thing and I cant defend it. The outrage I have is similar to above. You are too afraid to debate me legitimately on this topic so you are gonna resort to emotional slights at my values? One person specifically tried to debate me and lost so they said they don’t wanna debate ever again. But then they would make negative comments about God to make me mad since I knew they where aware of the logical flaws of their own beliefs. I usually change my demeanor by the aggressiveness. Someone can come up to me asking questions and believe Hitler was good and I’ll calmly have that conversation even if we disagree. But if you come at me all emotionally volatile and unwilling to learn I will not be as gentle with my statements, I wills say right out what I think. It’s a flaw, I know.
9. a) What activities energize you most? b) What activities drain you most? Why? 10. What do you repress about your outward behavior or internal thought process when around others? Why?
I love playing strategy games like Battle for Middle Earth 2 or Dota or Heroes of the Storm. I love talking about stuff that I know about. Teaching. It’s all about getting perspective. I really enjoy stuff like paintball and I have taken on 20 people with my friend and won. It’s weird, I don’t really plan on thinking and I don’t realize how much I do it but if something happens I’ll connect it to a general principle. When we went to the fair, I watched my friends and quietly made sure they were safe the whole time. I’m not one to run away from a problem and I’m pretty sacrificial. People may not realize how much I care about them but I do. I often get called judgmental because when people say something that pisses me off, I kind of get very intense. I hold back the tidal wave of stuff I’d like to say but unfortunately they still call me judgmental because they can see it in my eyes. I really hold back on my emotional state. I can feel it building but I don’t deal with it until I’m with someone close and I can finally vent. I restrain myself a lot and hold back on chasing things I want. I’ll give you the bigger slice if cake. You know it’s not really an inferiority complex, I just have a really strong desire to look out for other people. I am really loyal and sensitive but only people that know me see me as sensitive. I will do anything for you until you show yourself to be a fake friend.
Yeah, I’m all sorts of stressed out right now. I’m in my 20s, I’m a male, and I’m still figuring life out. I’ve become rather jaded over the last few years. I used to be a doormat and so willing to please others but I’ve been backstabbed and betrayed so many times that I learned my lesson. I still am the same giving person but I am much more exclusive now until someone is loyal.
Look at the random photo for about 30 seconds. Copy and paste it here, and write about your impression of it. (its a pic of a bunch of birds on a cliff and there is one bird in the air flying weird)
Sure here’s a story
Grindle the low flying lived on a tall cliff surrounded by friends that overlooked his deformed wings. The wings allowed him to merely flutter before falling back to the ground but no one judged him for them. One day while walking in the woods, Grindle was pulled aside by a soothsayer and was warned that all of the birds in the area were in terrible danger and that they would all die of a terrible curse unless he warned them to fly away and never return. Grindle realized that due to his condition, he would be unable to fly with them and he would die there alone on that cliff. As he returned home, he felt a great fear and a terrible sadness at the thought of being abandoned. On arrival, his friends all looked at him and greeted him warmly. Hey, we missed you! Wanna play a game Grindle? One of them said. “I love them too much to tell themâ€, Grindle said to himself as he joined in.
2. You are with a group of people in a car, heading to a different town to see your favourite band/artist/musician. Suddenly, the car breaks down for an unknown reason in the middle of nowhere. What are your initial thoughts? What are your outward reactions?
First of all, though I am embarrassed to admit it, I don’t like going to concerts. I also disliked music until I was like ten and then I realized some music is good but I still don’t know how to make a decent playlist and I always pass the aux cord because I will listen to one good song on repeat and then switch genres but I don’t know how to make playlists for normal people. I know it’s cool to be a concert person so I sometimes pretend like I like it but I would never travel to one personally unless I was going with friends I liked talking to and they wanted to. So let’s change that and say that I am heading home from said concert and my car breaks down. I need to get home! I’m so tired. Under stress I can become negative but I’m also great at solving problems. I usually only complain if I am actually unable to do anything at all but if there is hope to solve the issue I stay positive and quiet and get to work quickly. I do react and make decisions on my own very fast.
3. You somehow make it to the concert. The driver wants to go to the afterparty that was announced (and assure you they won't drink so they can drive back later). How do you feel about this party? What do you do?
Oh hell naw. I will definitely be affected by their asking me to come but I usually will do what I need to. I have an inner war between choosing to connect deeper with friends and my raging need to be alone. One time I went to a party with my sis who drove me and loves talking and she said I can’t leave until she’s done. It’s just a work get together so I’m thinking home by 10 right? You would be right if you were talking about everyone else. My sister stayed till 1 am and only the house owners and one other person were there. I literally had to walk to the other side of the room and hide on the couch. I kept asking to leave because I needed space. I literally got to the point where I was openly asking to leave and she said “no, you agreed to this†so I sat there in torment and what’s funny is that I finally got home and I think I stayed up by myself after. I can be really really loud and social. Not anymore, but when I was in middle school I was that guy who would do any prank and I actually openly lead a rebellion against a controlling teacher and you wouldn’t believe the stuff we got away with. But it’s weird, that really social version me comes out like once every while and then it’s done for a long time. So yeah I can party but I’m not always in the same state of energy and I have been known to down energy drinks to artificially increase my social skills. Which works oddly enough about half the time.
4. On the drive back, your friends are talking. A friend makes a claim that clashes with your current beliefs. What is your inward reaction? What do you outwardly say?
People that I don’t know well might do that and I would just ignore it. Its like, do I really wanna reality check this person and everyone will get mad. If it’s someone that will get raging and start yelling, why would I waste my time. It’s funny, my good friends know better than to drop the gauntlet on me. I usually ignore stuff because I don’t want to disturb the peace but here is my contract....You can remain ignorant around me and I will try to ignore that and just be nice but if you are gonna step into the arena and call me out when I have held myself back from speaking for so long.... game on. I will openly call them out jokingly but sincerely. Usually, I satirical state their entire worldview to make the point. Somehow, I manage to pull this off while getting laughs. I only know one friend that can take me on in a debate and we are infamous in our friend group. They see our debates coming from a mile away and they actively try to prevent it lol. Good friend. We learn a lot from each other. I’m very competitive in the social realm but if someone knows more than me, I admit that. For example, this friend is knowledgeable in politics which I don’t care about. If I state something political, I will honor his knowledge by saying it lightly and with the disclaimer that I am not well educated in politics.
5. What would you do if you actually saw/experienced something that clashes with your previous beliefs, experiences, and habits?
I’m a very aggressive defender.
Well like for example, one time in high school a kid in my class came in with a bad haircut. Real insecure guy and we’ve all been there. The guy looked like he wanted to cry and some bully laughed at him and kept saying it looked stupid. I walked up to him and looked him in the bully in the eye saying, “His hair will grow back and it’s not that bad. When you make fun of him it just shows how small and insecure you are. Don’t make fun of him, it makes you look weak and we can see you.†He didn’t do it again.
Another time I was a very little kid and I saw a big kid beating up a little kid on the playground and my dad said I ran up to the kid twice my size and started fighting him.
Or the time when two big bullies took my ball from me when I was a little kid and my grandpa said I grabbed them both by the neck and told them that the ball was mine and they ran from me.
6. What are some of your most important values? How did you come about determining them? How can they change?
Values? My values come mostly from outside sources but I feel very strongly about them. I would say it’s like an integration kind of thing. I would say my top principles are fairness, passion, and selflessness. I believe inherently people are equals to some extent. You’ll never see me freak out about a celebrity. I talk to the most beautiful girls and the less attractive ones exactly the same. I have a hard time telling who I like or what I like so to me people are just people. I grew up in church and I definitely saw a ton of ignorant people but I also saw some very intelligent people. I was reading and watching theological materials at the age of 10 by my own volition. I was told to value church and God and the Bible but I couldn’t really until I could defend them. Now that I understand the arguments behind it and it’s a genuine position , I believe it very strongly. I’ve attended certain churches that could not defend the positions they took and I left them even though I really liked the church. Inconsistency is a huge problem for me.
7. a) What about your personality most distinguishes you from everyone else?
My parents said I was like an adult as a kid. I was concerned about what I would do and what my plans were. I was the type of kid that would prefer talking to older people and I would actually give work advice to my mom while I was in elementary school. People say I’m really weird but I don’t think so. I don’t enjoy going places and seeing concerts. I do really like fine food and drinks though. No amount is too expensive for me to experience the highest quality at least once. Mostly though, I feel like I’m watching the world from the sidelines. It’s like I’m not a player in the game but I’m seeing it all go down and occasionally I jump in to correct something that has gone wrong and I can be rather aggressive when that happens. I think I see more than most people and it’s frustrating because very few people I meet understand me. Most people look shallow to me but it’s like I see them from a zoomed out perspective and I can understand why they are the way they are. Mostly I look at things detached and zoomed out. It less like things happen to me and more like I watch them happen to me. I’m in my 20s but people in their 40s tell me I’m an old soul and when I go to church theological discussions people are shocked by my thoughts. Usually I just try to share wisdom with others which is what I love to do but I feel lonely. Often I want to talk about stuff that matters but people that are surface level drive me crazy. Even though I’m trying to stop, I will sometimes say something inflammatory because I desperately wanna talk about something that doesn’t bore me.
b) If you could change one thing about you personality, what would it be? Why?
Hard question. I guess I’d want to be regular. It must be so much easier to not be treated like an outcast that doesn’t care about all the common every day stuff. At the same time, would I be willing to lose my piercing perspective? No, absolutely not. But if someone recreated me as an everyday person against my will I’m sure I’d be much happier version of myself.
8. How do you treat hunches or gut feelings? In what situations are they most often triggered?
I respect my instincts by exploring them. Hunches I kind of ignore but I can almost feel like a pressure in my chest if I don’t explore my doubts. The people that trigger me are people that get triggered. I get mad when people try to contain me or control me. When I accept you but you don’t accept me. If someone makes an emotional statement about God it pisses me off to no end. To mess with me some people will tell me something horrible about God that is 100% just an emotional thing and I cant defend it. The outrage I have is similar to above. You are too afraid to debate me legitimately on this topic so you are gonna resort to emotional slights at my values? One person specifically tried to debate me and lost so they said they don’t wanna debate ever again. But then they would make negative comments about God to make me mad since I knew they where aware of the logical flaws of their own beliefs. I usually change my demeanor by the aggressiveness. Someone can come up to me asking questions and believe Hitler was good and I’ll calmly have that conversation even if we disagree. But if you come at me all emotionally volatile and unwilling to learn I will not be as gentle with my statements, I wills say right out what I think. It’s a flaw, I know.
9. a) What activities energize you most? b) What activities drain you most? Why? 10. What do you repress about your outward behavior or internal thought process when around others? Why?
I love playing strategy games like Battle for Middle Earth 2 or Dota or Heroes of the Storm. I love talking about stuff that I know about. Teaching. It’s all about getting perspective. I really enjoy stuff like paintball and I have taken on 20 people with my friend and won. It’s weird, I don’t really plan on thinking and I don’t realize how much I do it but if something happens I’ll connect it to a general principle. When we went to the fair, I watched my friends and quietly made sure they were safe the whole time. I’m not one to run away from a problem and I’m pretty sacrificial. People may not realize how much I care about them but I do. I often get called judgmental because when people say something that pisses me off, I kind of get very intense. I hold back the tidal wave of stuff I’d like to say but unfortunately they still call me judgmental because they can see it in my eyes. I really hold back on my emotional state. I can feel it building but I don’t deal with it until I’m with someone close and I can finally vent. I restrain myself a lot and hold back on chasing things I want. I’ll give you the bigger slice if cake. You know it’s not really an inferiority complex, I just have a really strong desire to look out for other people. I am really loyal and sensitive but only people that know me see me as sensitive. I will do anything for you until you show yourself to be a fake friend.
