Am I an ISFJ, INFP, or ISFP?

[mandmin]

Hello! I am sure on my I and F but I am always confused about S vs N and P vs J, more so on the P vs J. While ISFJ descriptions seem to fit me well, I am confused on some things. Here are some of my characteristics:

1. Music brings me all kinds of emotions. I enjoy listening to music a lot, but sometimes I can't listen to my favorite songs because they remind me of the times when I broke up with my boyfriend, lost a friend, etc. If I used to listen to the song during that time, I can't listen to it now, because I associate it with the hard times and it brings me back memories.
2. I am kind of lazy and my room is always a mess and I feel comfortable that way. I really like it when I have free days where I do nothing for the whole day other than just relax at home. Whenever I read about an ISFJ type, it says they are very organized, and always doing houseworks even on their free days, etc. I do it only when I have to, so I thought maybe I am not an ISFJ..
3. When something comes up unexpectedly I do it, but I don't welcome it at all. I have to plan things out before meeting up with a friend. But if a friend calls me up unplanned, I would still go out because I feel bad if I don't.
4. While I tend to plan things out in detail for a trip, I don't particularly enjoy doing it.
5. I tend to worry a lot about possible consequences before doing something or making a decision (a lot of 'what if's).
6. I am really bad with paperwork. I can do them, but sometimes they overwhelm me..keeping up with 'grown-ups stuff' like tax forms, etc I really don't enjoy them. I was thinking if I am an ISFJ I should be better with these..?
7. It's hard for me to see the big picture. (this is why I think I am most likely an S type..)
8. I love reading fictions or self-help books. I like romance and mystery genres. I love discussing about psychology, philosophy, and social issues. I like personality tests and MBTIs and I heard INFPs tend to find it more interesting than other types do? Also I tend to analyze things.
9. While ISFJs are known to be the most outgoing type out of the introvert types, I don't relate to this as I am awkward in social situations. I can fake it but it drains me a lot when I am with people, especially with people that I am not close to. Also It's really hard for me when I am in an unwelcoming environment. I like 1:1 interactions.
10. I get hurt easily by people's expressions and words. I hate this about myself so I try not to be now as much as before, but it still affects me. I am also guilt-prone and tend to think things happen because of me. For example, when my sister seems down, I begin to wonder if it's because of something I did.
11. I tend to remember things about people okay, like the details about what we talked about or what they like./dislike. I do remember the situations, but not the specifics, only the important details that were meaningful to me. For example, I remember the time when my crush looked at me and his face and the look in his eyes, but I don't remember what he was wearing or any other specifics. I never remember what people wore or their hair, etc. I remember people's expressions or words well though..Do INFPs tend to remember it like this, or is it an ISFJ thing?
12. When I was younger I think I was definitely an ISFP. I didn't judge others at all, or more so, I just didn't have strong opinions about things and just went with the flow. But now in my mid 20's I do have some opinions, but I am wishy washy sometimes and I tend to change my mind easily usually. If my friends dislike what I like, I tend to rethink whether I should continue to like it, etc. I think I am judgemental sometimes but I am confused because sometimes I am not. Usually my first impression about people seem to be correct as I get to know them. I like to compliment people and I am not too shy about it lol..
13. I like to keep things to myself except if it's with someone I really trust. I say "I am not sure" or " I don't know" a lot because I really don't know sometimes, especially about what I want. I don't have very strong standards..or I do, but I don't express it to people.
14. I have a hard time opening up to people. Do INFPs and ISFPs tend to be very open-minded about meeting new people or opening up to them soon? I have a new friend who I think is an INFP, maybe she's an ISFP, and she opened up very easily to me. I am not sure if they tend to do that with everyone. I really like her and adore her because I feel like she really gets me. I opened up to her too which I usually don't do so quickly. She also is kind of bubbly. Which of the three types are more bubbly out of the three? I would say I am definitely not bubbly.
15. When I am having a hard day, I need to talk it out with someone in order to be comforted. Sometimes I get very anxious because I have a hard time recognizing exactly what I am feeling.
16. I am a completely different person when I am with my family and friends vs with an acquaintance or a stranger. I get more talkative and more expressive.
17. I am timid but if someone wrongs the ones I love, I can stand up for them and I am kind of protective about people I love. And I usually stay in the background, but if I have to, I can speak up.
18. I write long texts with a lot of emojis. I like emojis because they make texts not so bland or matter of fact. I am usually the one who writes the last text saying good night or bye or with an emoji.
19. I like writing and I am better at expressing myself through writing than talking. I hear a lot that I am quiet. My family and close friends know that I am not though haha
20. I am not rebellious at all and I follow rules well, but I get stressed in a very strict or structured environment. It kind of suffocates me.
21. I play the piano, but other than that I am really bad with working with my hands (making something or decorating a cake, etc). (I read that ISFPs are the artist types and they are good with hands, so maybe I am not?)

Do I definitely sound like an ISFJ? I like any of the types but I wonder if we could have mixed types too. I feel like some things are contradictory in my case..Thank you in advance!

 

[notmyapples]

I'm going to say ISFJ. Most of your answers indicate a strong preference for Si and you seem a lot more Fe/Ti than Fi/Te.

I tend to worry a lot about possible consequences before doing something or making a decision (a lot of 'what if's).

Worrying about possible consequences seems indicative of lower Ne rather than higher.

I get hurt easily by people's expressions and words. I hate this about myself so I try not to be now as much as before, but it still affects me. I am also guilt-prone and tend to think things happen because of me. For example, when my sister seems down, I begin to wonder if it's because of something I did.

The tendency to 'take responsibility' for other's negative emotions, wonder how you could've had a direct effect on them and feel guilt-prone seems very Fe to me, an IXFP wouldn't struggle with these qualities because of Fi dominant.

I am kind of lazy and my room is always a mess and I feel comfortable that way. I really like it when I have free days where I do nothing for the whole day other than just relax at home. Whenever I read about an ISFJ type, it says they are very organized, and always doing houseworks even on their free days, etc. I do it only when I have to, so I thought maybe I am not an ISFJ..

How I love housewife XSFJ stereotypes. No, how much you love cleaning doesn't indicate whether or not you are ISFJ.

I tend to remember things about people okay, like the details about what we talked about or what they like./dislike. I do remember the situations, but not the specifics, only the important details that were meaningful to me. For example, I remember the time when my crush looked at me and his face and the look in his eyes, but I don't remember what he was wearing or any other specifics. I never remember what people wore or their hair, etc. I remember people's expressions or words well though..Do INFPs tend to remember it like this, or is it an ISFJ thing?

Both ISFJs and INFPs remember this way because they both use Si and Si is all about paying attention to specific details that are of importance to the user.

When I was younger I think I was definitely an ISFP. I didn't judge others at all, or more so, I just didn't have strong opinions about things and just went with the flow. But now in my mid 20's I do have some opinions, but I am wishy washy sometimes and I tend to change my mind easily usually. If my friends dislike what I like, I tend to rethink whether I should continue to like it, etc. I think I am judgemental sometimes but I am confused because sometimes I am not. Usually my first impression about people seem to be correct as I get to know them. I like to compliment people and I am not too shy about it lol..

Fi wouldn't do this, this is Fe placing consideration in other's judgement. An Fi user may back down from a confrontation about their opinions or let it go to keep the peace, but they will not reconsider their likes or values because someone disagrees. The habit of offering compliments often also seems more like an Fe user's behavior, Fi in IXFPs is naturally uncomfortable with vocalizing such inner judgement.

I have a hard time opening up to people. Do INFPs and ISFPs tend to be very open-minded about meeting new people or opening up to them soon? I have a new friend who I think is an INFP, maybe she's an ISFP, and she opened up very easily to me. I am not sure if they tend to do that with everyone. I really like her and adore her because I feel like she really gets me. I opened up to her too which I usually don't do so quickly. She also is kind of bubbly. Which of the three types are more bubbly out of the three? I would say I am definitely not bubbly.

IXFPs either have Se or Ne in an auxiliary position therefore they interact with the world around them more freely, either through sensory or intuitive means. Ne often does come across as bubbly and quirky, so I'd say that INFPs are the most likely to give such an impression. Opening up may have more to do with enneagram, but I notice that strong Si users have more of a self-preservation instinct and are much more reserved than those who prefer extroverted perceiving functions.

When I am having a hard day, I need to talk it out with someone in order to be comforted. Sometimes I get very anxious because I have a hard time recognizing exactly what I am feeling.

Fe.

I advise that you read up on functions and try to avoid relying solely on personality descriptions to confirm your type, although fun they are often filled with stereotypical or sometimes even inaccurate information. Much of what you listed that made you doubt an ISFJ typing is based upon these inaccurate stereotypes and has nothing to do with the actual functions of an ISFJ.

 

[mandmin]

Thank you for your detailed answer! Hmm I guess I am an ISFJ. Its descriptions do seem to fit me the most, but I can also relate to a lot of the INFP and ISFP descriptions. But based on the Fe descriptions I guess I relate to ISFJ more. I read about Fi and Fe, but it's a little confusing for me, because I guess I don't know myself very well or how I feel. Is being brave when I need to be and stepping up an ISFJ thing? To me, I guess it's more about my own personality rather than my type, but I really don't know about myself well. I can be really stubborn about my decisions too and it's just confusing because I care about other people's opinions which is Fe. My enneagram tests 6 or 9. It changes, but it's between those always. I was a peace lover and more easy going when I was younger, but I think as I grew up I became more stubborn or cautious as I got hurt from some people. My INFP friend I talked about above (she could also be ISFP, I am really not sure) seems a lot less guarded about things, because she opened up easily to me who was like just an acquaintance at that time. She doesn't smile a lot though and I guess she could seem kind of distant from a far, but she was very easy to talk to from the moment we started talking. She seemed a little hesitant and shy to initiate things though and I initiated our interactions at first. I really wonder what type she is and whether we could be compatible as friends if she is an INFP/ISFP and I am ISFJ. She's really sweet and warm and funny. She tells me things in detail even when I don't ask about it, which was very refreshing and entertaining to me, because sometimes conversations with other people can be dry and awkward and I worry about that. She's a great listener and I feel like she heals me whenever I talk to her. She's very genuinely caring too. I am more guarded I would say and it takes me a while to trust someone, but I could trust and open up to her immediately. Would an ISFJ feel that way about INFPs or ISFPs and find it easy to open up and feel drawn to them as friends? Does she sound like an INFP? She cares about the less fortunate and she loves babies. She seems unassuming and she doesn't seem to have a lot of prejudice or stereotypes about people. She seems more outgoing than me and she likes going out and can't stand staying home the whole day whereas I don't mind it at all. She's definitely an introvert and shy and she says it herself too. She uses a lot of emojis like me and she seems adaptable because she follows the way I say things since we got close. Maybe I do too, but she uses the phrases I use. And her eyes are so deep. I probably sound like I am crushing on her, but maybe I really am haha, she's such a good friend and I wish I was like her. I don't know if the reason why I am so drawn to her and we click is because we are similar and I met someone like me or if it's because we are different and complimentary. Even though I am guarded, I consider everyone as good and nice people usually. I tend to find good things in people first rather than their weaknesses. But I don't open up still, maybe this is just a personal thing and social anxiety that I might have. I can tell who likes me or not easily, and whether someone is being fake and I thought this had to do more with intuition than sensing, but I am not sure. I tend to distance myself from people who are fake and I try to be a genuine person myself because I don't like fakeness. I tend to procrastinate a lot too, and I don't think this is a very ISFJ like thing either. I was hoping I was an ISFP, it sounds more appealing to me personally than ISFJ because I want to be an easygoing person. Maybe this is a stereotype also but I want to be a P, because all my worries tire me out sometimes haha..When I took the official test years ago, it was not ISFJ, but I can't remember what it was, it was IxxP. but I heard it could change over the years and I am probably an ISFJ now.

 

[notmyapples]

Is being brave when I need to be and stepping up an ISFJ thing?

It's a basic human thing, not a type thing. The reasoning behind why they do so can be related to type.

My enneagram tests 6 or 9. It changes, but it's between those always.

Your OP struck me as more 6, specifically when you said that you prefer to keep things to yourself unless you're around someone you trust. 6s and 9s both value peace and harmony, but 9s are very trusting whereas 6s trust their immediate support system (family, close friends, etc) while adopting a natural distrust towards those outside of that. Instinctual variants can also come into play, but that is the sense I got from your post.

I really wonder what type she is and whether we could be compatible as friends if she is an INFP/ISFP and I am ISFJ.

Any types can be compatible with each other.

Would an ISFJ feel that way about INFPs or ISFPs and find it easy to open up and feel drawn to them as friends?

IXFPs have that effect on most people, Fi focuses on listening, being emotionally honest and making others feel understood so people typically open up to them easily. ISFJs can feel like kindred spirits to the IXFPs, more specifically the INFP because they share the Ne/Si axis. I can't draw a conclusion based on what little I know of her, but she does sound like an Fi user.

I don't know if the reason why I am so drawn to her and we click is because we are similar and I met someone like me or if it's because we are different and complimentary.

Likely different and complimentary but similar enough to bond, for an ISFJ and INFP. They share the same perception functions and both have a preference for feeling so they can appear slightly similar upon first glance, but the differences are apparent and the reasoning behind the similarities they share often differ.

I can tell who likes me or not easily, and whether someone is being fake and I thought this had to do more with intuition than sensing, but I am not sure.

The ability to read others has much more to do with Fe, not either of the intuition functions. INFPs are good at understanding the values and experiences of others but they falter when reading them in the immediate enviornment because they lack Fe.

I tend to procrastinate a lot too, and I don't think this is a very ISFJ like thing either.

I don't see why not, I've met many ISFJs who procrastinate. Si is a function concerned with the comfort of the user, tweaking things in the current environment to match their already decided perception of what they prefer. Creating memories rather than experiences. This process can lead to tons of procrastination, unconcerned with moving forward in their pursuits but rather chasing and then staying in an eternal state of tranquility, never extending outwards in fear of discomfort.

I was hoping I was an ISFP, it sounds more appealing to me personally than ISFJ because I want to be an easygoing person.

Personality traits have next to nothing to do with MBTI. I've met INFPs who are absolute lunatics, I've met ESTJs who are the coolest cats you'll ever come across. MBTI is about the functions you naturally prefer. You shouldn't hope to be anyone else other than who you are, and if who you are happens to be an ISFJ then great. Attaching an ISFP label to you wouldn't change anything, you're still the exact same person.

Maybe this is a stereotype also but I want to be a P, because all my worries tire me out sometimes haha..

Yes, but the catch about being a P is that you then lose any advantages you had as a J and gain all of the P's disadvantages, then you're right back to where you started.

When I took the official test years ago, it was not ISFJ, but I can't remember what it was, it was IxxP. but I heard it could change over the years and I am probably an ISFJ now.

The test is inaccurate a large portion of the time, everyone in my family has taken the test and only one of them was typed accurately. The official test only checks for dichotomies (T vs F, N vs S, I vs E, J vs P) and not functions which creates a huge mess of stereotypes. I've tested as INTJ, INTP, INFJ, and INFP but the only thing that changed about me each time that I took the test was my mood, my functions have remained the same.

 

[mandmin]

Thank you! Ohh I see, I think I am a 6 then. I do trust only the ones in my close circle. I am distrusting of strangers especially and I am very cautious. Yes, I don't know if she's an INFP or ISFP but I really like her. She makes me feel understood on a deeper level. I think I am still different from her as I think about it and I think she's more of an N. It just feels similar between us because I think we both are empathetic and we try not to hurt each other and that's why it's so nice. She sometimes complains about some people or things and I empathize with her and also give her some insight why I think they might act that way because I sometimes see things in a more objective way. But I definitely make sure she's understood and that she knows I am on her side. On the other hand, I tend to whine about why life is so hard sometimes and she's there for me to comfort me and reassure me lol She gives really good, practical advices too. I just think we understand each other pretty well although not perfectly. It's really easy to understand her point of view for me and I think it is for her too. It's kind of weird though because I feel like it should be the other way around based on the "typical" typing of ISFJ and INFP. I should be more practical and grounded but I feel like she is more like that, even though I don't think she's an ISFJ and I don't think I am an INFP. But I guess it works out still lol Oh I didn't know reading other people's emotions was a Fe thing. I have a lot of studying to do about the functions. I tend to read emotions well but I am bad at recognizing the dynamics between two people lol I am only able to read emotions of people who are talking to me at the moment or who are interacting with me. Maybe this is kind of a selfish ability in my case lol I generally understand well how people feel in a given situation though. Yes, you are right. I guess I can't just change my type, because that won't change who I am.Thank you for your insight and answers! Which type do you identify as? I think it's more clear that I am an ISFJ now. And no matter what type, I guess it's more important to appreciate things and better myself as a person Thank you again!