I am quiet in most situations, events, and even disasters, but this could be due to extreme social anxiety as much as it could be due to extreme introversion. (still can't decide which of the two)
The best expression of my extroversion is through action. I like to overexert myself physically, whether it's when I'm squeezing someone's hand during a handshake, or hugging someone, or throwing something, or walking too forcefully and quickly, or needlessly breaking everyday things like pens or other items while messing around with them during work or my thinking-process. When I'm angry, I tend to channel my anger into physicality as well, which manifests in confident and prolonged shouting and scolding my offender. As a rule of thumb, since childhood, and still today, I never throw the first punch, and start defending myself through means of physical violence only if the offender is the one to start a fight. But generally, despite having some deep instinctual need to express myself through physical violence, I tend to successfully suppress it most of the time, because I perfectly understand the consequences it can lead to.
Despite my excessive expressions of physical force, I'm skinny and not sporty at all, as I don't feel like I need to engage in a routine exercise scheme. My "physicality" tends to be dormant 90% of the time, and then suddenly explodes in the other 10% occasions. Usually when it explodes, I try to squeeze out more power out of my body, than my body actually can provide, which sometimes leads to self-imposed injuries.
A similar 90%-dormant / 10%-active situation can be observed in the realm of work and achievement. Either I do absolutely nothing to carry out my responsibilities or to achieve my goals, or I do too much, to the point of diving deeper into work and reaching further, than any of my peers. You could say I'm a very "everything or nothing" person.
For whatever reason, I always feel like I'm being challenged by the entirety of my environment (both, by people, and by physical objects/happenings.) And my first response to all challenges is always the same - I see to counter-challenge them. Because of this, I can either appear as too aggressive/judgemental towards people who didn't even deserve it, or too aggressive/forceful towards objects, needlessly. (hence why I sometimes break stuff... needlessly)
I tend to be very responsive to people's needs, and try to earn their trust/investment in me, by doing favors for them. I dislike handling other people's emotions, and am absolutely the type of person who'd prefer to bring someone a glass of water (help out physically) instead of offering him a shoulder to cry on (help out emotionally). My disposition towards supporting people, is that they should sort their emotions out themselves, while I'll provide them with whatever physical requirements/needs they have in the process.
Even though I highly respect laws, rules, hierarchies, and authority in theory, and could write a dissertation on why all laws, morals and hierarchies should be followed/imposed... in practice however, I often experience impulses to break not only laws/rules, but to also go against other people's expectations and hopes, and to go against authority just for the sake of it (just because it's fun!). I have such sadistic streaks, and had them since childhood. Whenever I am faced with a person who's ranked higher than me - on a basic instinctual level, I completely disregard his high position, and treat him as someone who stands on equal ground with me (which sometimes annoys such people). If a person wants to enjoy the perks of higher-ranked social standing, he has to prove to me, in our 1-on-1 interaction, that he really deserves to be up there.
I tend to put a lot of emphasis on how I dress, on developing my unique style. But in practice, the result tends to be a mix between messy and elegant (which by itself actually isn't a bad cocktail, I grew to like it, and so did everyone around me).
I enjoy inventing rules, structures, explaining step-by-step processes, fixing problems, troubleshooting, investigating. I am most excited to be presented with a problem which nobody else in the group had been able to solve yet. Somehow I'm always preliminarily convinced that I will be able to solve it, even if nobody else could. This conviction comes out of my knowledge of my common tendency to dive into every problem with my head and body, and reach deeper into it than anyone else ever has the patience for.
Since childhood my idols were James Bond, Jackie Chan, as well as fictional characters who had slight aristocratic hints in their behavior/ideals, and were very good at asserting themselves, asserting their independence of mind and body, and good at reaching their desired goals, regardless of whether the world perceived those goals as bad or good, moral or immoral. And needless to say, I spent many of my childhood/teen/adult years trying to imitate those traits to my greatest ability, on a daily basis.
A phrase I came up with yesterday, which describes my view of morality perfectly is: In the real world, the differentiating line is truly drawn not between those who do good or evil, but between those who do smart and stupid things. And I don't know whether conquering the world is smart or stupid, but it sure takes one hell of a smartass to achieve it.
I want to and enjoy being seen by others as someone who is confident, efficient, uncaring, slightly stuck-up, and a bit of an asshole. But also as someone who's dependable, intelligent and insightful, stylish, independent.
Lastly, I prefer not to approach people, but to force them to come to me instead. And it's definitely a smart position to take, if you're able to implement it properly. Because in war, whomever is forced to move his army first, always finds himself in an inferior position. And undeclared mini-wars are present in everything in life, be it in relationships at work, friendships, walks in the park, or [insert any activity that involves effort, people and challenges]
The best expression of my extroversion is through action. I like to overexert myself physically, whether it's when I'm squeezing someone's hand during a handshake, or hugging someone, or throwing something, or walking too forcefully and quickly, or needlessly breaking everyday things like pens or other items while messing around with them during work or my thinking-process. When I'm angry, I tend to channel my anger into physicality as well, which manifests in confident and prolonged shouting and scolding my offender. As a rule of thumb, since childhood, and still today, I never throw the first punch, and start defending myself through means of physical violence only if the offender is the one to start a fight. But generally, despite having some deep instinctual need to express myself through physical violence, I tend to successfully suppress it most of the time, because I perfectly understand the consequences it can lead to.
Despite my excessive expressions of physical force, I'm skinny and not sporty at all, as I don't feel like I need to engage in a routine exercise scheme. My "physicality" tends to be dormant 90% of the time, and then suddenly explodes in the other 10% occasions. Usually when it explodes, I try to squeeze out more power out of my body, than my body actually can provide, which sometimes leads to self-imposed injuries.
A similar 90%-dormant / 10%-active situation can be observed in the realm of work and achievement. Either I do absolutely nothing to carry out my responsibilities or to achieve my goals, or I do too much, to the point of diving deeper into work and reaching further, than any of my peers. You could say I'm a very "everything or nothing" person.
For whatever reason, I always feel like I'm being challenged by the entirety of my environment (both, by people, and by physical objects/happenings.) And my first response to all challenges is always the same - I see to counter-challenge them. Because of this, I can either appear as too aggressive/judgemental towards people who didn't even deserve it, or too aggressive/forceful towards objects, needlessly. (hence why I sometimes break stuff... needlessly)
I tend to be very responsive to people's needs, and try to earn their trust/investment in me, by doing favors for them. I dislike handling other people's emotions, and am absolutely the type of person who'd prefer to bring someone a glass of water (help out physically) instead of offering him a shoulder to cry on (help out emotionally). My disposition towards supporting people, is that they should sort their emotions out themselves, while I'll provide them with whatever physical requirements/needs they have in the process.
Even though I highly respect laws, rules, hierarchies, and authority in theory, and could write a dissertation on why all laws, morals and hierarchies should be followed/imposed... in practice however, I often experience impulses to break not only laws/rules, but to also go against other people's expectations and hopes, and to go against authority just for the sake of it (just because it's fun!). I have such sadistic streaks, and had them since childhood. Whenever I am faced with a person who's ranked higher than me - on a basic instinctual level, I completely disregard his high position, and treat him as someone who stands on equal ground with me (which sometimes annoys such people). If a person wants to enjoy the perks of higher-ranked social standing, he has to prove to me, in our 1-on-1 interaction, that he really deserves to be up there.
I tend to put a lot of emphasis on how I dress, on developing my unique style. But in practice, the result tends to be a mix between messy and elegant (which by itself actually isn't a bad cocktail, I grew to like it, and so did everyone around me).
I enjoy inventing rules, structures, explaining step-by-step processes, fixing problems, troubleshooting, investigating. I am most excited to be presented with a problem which nobody else in the group had been able to solve yet. Somehow I'm always preliminarily convinced that I will be able to solve it, even if nobody else could. This conviction comes out of my knowledge of my common tendency to dive into every problem with my head and body, and reach deeper into it than anyone else ever has the patience for.
Since childhood my idols were James Bond, Jackie Chan, as well as fictional characters who had slight aristocratic hints in their behavior/ideals, and were very good at asserting themselves, asserting their independence of mind and body, and good at reaching their desired goals, regardless of whether the world perceived those goals as bad or good, moral or immoral. And needless to say, I spent many of my childhood/teen/adult years trying to imitate those traits to my greatest ability, on a daily basis.
A phrase I came up with yesterday, which describes my view of morality perfectly is: In the real world, the differentiating line is truly drawn not between those who do good or evil, but between those who do smart and stupid things. And I don't know whether conquering the world is smart or stupid, but it sure takes one hell of a smartass to achieve it.
I want to and enjoy being seen by others as someone who is confident, efficient, uncaring, slightly stuck-up, and a bit of an asshole. But also as someone who's dependable, intelligent and insightful, stylish, independent.
Lastly, I prefer not to approach people, but to force them to come to me instead. And it's definitely a smart position to take, if you're able to implement it properly. Because in war, whomever is forced to move his army first, always finds himself in an inferior position. And undeclared mini-wars are present in everything in life, be it in relationships at work, friendships, walks in the park, or [insert any activity that involves effort, people and challenges]
