A girl said she was an INFJ but I have doubts

[ABluePlanetian]

So, I've known this girl and has seen her communicate with other people. I have tried viewing her type via motives and reactions, but really, this girl strikes me as either a non-INFJ or at least, if she was, she's probably an unhealthy one.

I guess sometimes the description of INFJ portrait tends to be a little bit... abstract. I mean, anyone who was dealing with critical emotional state and psychology can totally related to terms like "unique", "fragile yet strong-willed", "spiritual and developmental seeking" and sometimes even "compassionate, coorperative" - they can be misinterpreted by readers (and they were also being hooked by the reputation that INFJ rare percentage in population - though I think the population charts are quiet ridiculous and unrealistic, for who would ever know personality types of all people, including ones who did not even know what MBTI was). That's why she identify herself being one.

But so far when I watched some videos about classic INFJs, examples are Carey Mulligan and Adrien Brody, they all look quiet calm and composed during interviews. They have this sort of ease and soft aura surrounds them, they are eloquent and can be stereotyped as a spiritual teacher/philosopher.

No, this girl is not an INFP. She might have snowflake syndrome - but she's too aggressive and authoritative to be one. I have already had enough Fi-dominant people in my life: my father (INFP), my ISFP super-best cousin and the other INFP best-friend/partner in crime - they are nothing like this girl at all.

1. She's always getting angry if someone says anything that slightly provoked her - not yet offended her, just slightly suggestive that she should do her creative work in a different way (that pleases them).

Basically, she was right when refusing others who want to take advantages and manipulate her. But at least, I think the best way to react is to ignore them or reject their ideas politely. You don't have to be so expressively frank by putting comments like "stop controlling me, bitches/jerks, I will do what I want and your opinion is invalid". That's just plainly rude, not to mention, the people who asked her for things was initially quiet polite and put their suggestion in a subtle way, but she's just explode everything up for no reason.

2. She sometimes coorperates with other people, as long as they were like-minded people who working to contribute to her ideas, her work and let her being in charge.
The good point is, she's extremely ambitious and hard-working, in a positive way. She puts lots of her efforts to make her dream come true, that's why everyone thinks she was admirable and even, charismatic. But there's also many people who envy with her and want to destroy her works by saying nasty things, which makes me feel bad for her since she did not deserved that. However, at the same time, I think she was somewhat trying to dictate her friends - it's just they were too carefree and naive to acknowledge it. She was self-centered and even dramatic sometimes, that's why she never felt comfortable when one of her co-worker contributed a different idea that might break her "inner vision", and she preferred to be alone instead.

3. She never cares to be well-dressed or nicely-presented in public.
She likes fashion and aesthetic things, books and arts, but still wears boyish shirt and jeans on daily basis. Girlish things were the worst gifts for her. But deep down inside, she's still delusioned herself as a victim who needed to be noticed - not saved, by noticed, appreciated and praised, but acted tough on outside so nobody could clearly see that - then, seeing it's not working, she started to blamed the whole world for neglecting and not caring enough for her.

4. Oh, and one more thing, when she's depressed or bored, she will actually come up with quiet a lot of ideas which I found disturbing and "indulgent".
She acted like a sophisticated and complicated character, but also harbouring fantasy for sexual fetishes and will actually be open about it, more than twice or three-times, on social media. Which... I found sort of disturbing... It's just like you found out that a person who tried to show a "creator" image could be openly crack him/herself as being emotionally delusioned and sexually-indulgent sometimes. I know everyone has faults and crazy ideas, but talking about them like "yeah, it's my unique character. I'm so paradoxical," is not actually a good point.

5. She likes to correct me in an indirect, sarcastic and cold way.
If I've done something wrong that portrait details about her wrongly, she will make something that disprove/correct those details, and would never say thank you, instead of being actually appreciated that I was a fan of her work. That's make me really upset because I think I have tried my best to make friend with her. But she constantly pushed me and others away, stating that nobody could understand and accept her.

I don't really think she's an INFP who tries to "impose" an INFJ. She's not a Si-user at all and was occasionally showing her sign of using Se in an unhealthy way.

But she does not use Fe. I can see that because she was struggling with her own identity and falling into sadness whenever she thinks no one will accept her true person. But what if it was due to her oversensitivity and insecurity that society has badly influenced her?

Any opinion?

 

[SearchingforPeace]

Not everyone who claims to be a type is a type, something that is especially true with rare types. Often, people will explore MBTI in an attempt to understand someone else, even before exploring themselves.

Most people lack true self-awareness and so mistype on questionnaires. In my own case, when I first took the official MBTI at 18, I got ISTP, which would be an extremely ridiculous result to anyone who knows me IRL. But it fit my conception of myself until many years later when I found my true type with the help of others.

One tool I like is using the work of Naomi Quenk. She wrote a book called Was That Really Me?. She wrote for the official MBTI folks for a long time and had full access to all their data. She found that people can be typed by looking at them under severe pressure.

Under JCF theory, the opposite of our dominant function is our inferior function and it comes out while we are under stress.

For example, as a ENFJ, my inferior function is Ti (internal thinking) and so, when I get under severe stress I fall into the abyss of inferior Ti, a deep pit of despair similiar to depression. To escape this, I need to engage my tertiary function, Se, by engaging in physical active things, such as outdoor activities, sex, movies, video games, physical labor, etc.

My wife is a ISFP, and so she falls into inferior Te, becoming hypercritical of others, among other things. INFPs are similar.

You can find the chapters for each type by searching up on google "[MBTI TYPE] in the grip."

I don't know this girl's type, as I only have your representation of her, which comes from your perception, which may be incorrect.

As to her type, INFJ might fit. INFJs fall in the grip of inferior Se. They get indulgent, engaging in risky behavior, wild spending, and sensation seeking.

Here is section on INFJs in the grip, [INFJ] “Was That Really Me?” – How Stress Brings Out the INFJ's Hidden Personality

See if it fits her.

MBTI is about cognitive patterns. Enneagram differences can radically alter a MBTI type, so a INFJ e1 and a INFJ e6 will behave very differently.

 

[Population: 1]

A girl has no type.

Sorry. Sorry the title just makes me think of this every time I see it.

Carry on.

 

[Jaguar]

"stop controlling me, bitches/jerks, I will do what I want and your opinion is invalid".

Too funny. I'd laugh in her presence. I thought of Marm who is ISFP. (A former member.) But just because someone says something similar to someone else, doesn't mean they are the same type. Also, just because someone might seem rude to you, different from you, or isn't stick-up-the-ass proper in public, doesn't make them "unhealthy."

 

[ABluePlanetian]

Thank you guys. Yes, it's true that my perception could be pretty biased... somehow, so you guys could have different interpretation or portrait from the description. But I'm appreciated your advices .

As for she's being healthy or not, now I understand that I could not just make assumption. I only think she was haunted by the idea of being a victim of social prejudices that she became depressed so easily.

However, I still doubt that she was an ENTJ or NTJ something. I don't know why she comes out as an introverted on tests. Mostly because NFs people treated their feelings very tenderly, they cherished and appreciated their emotions, but this girl - she constantly yelled and attacked her feelings with harsh words and posted on Internet as if it was an alarm, or accusation of how badly people has treated and neglected her, or even, just to attract others' attention.

People with Ti, I think, always have this sort of pleasure in discovering their thoughts and analyzing their inner world. They intellectualize their heart, something like a Japanese style of approaching spirituality and earthly desires. It almost feels like a cerebral way, utterly interesting yet disturbing. For exmple, this is my general perception about INFJ actors: they were just like pulling strings behind masks with calculated intentions that audiences felt trapped and fooled, but never actually realized it. While ENFJ are just simply nice and adorable and sexy and elegant, hating them would be a crime but they said, "It's fine, people are entitled to their opinions," anyway, INFJ actors generally seem to have this sort of incredibly make-believe talent that affected you mentally - that's why it's disturbing.

It's similar to a vision that you came across as perfect and sweet, but immensely interesting at the same time, yet then you discovered and "cracked" the surface, you realized inside such unrealistic vision were full of spiders and scorpions, cruel and struggling thoughts all coming out.

http://https://youtu.be/oMg_qEF7EFI

This is Kasaneteku, a Japanese commercial which features a lady in white-laced dress who I think is a skillful and manipulative ISFJ. This is what I called a Fe and Ti combination: diplomatic, sweet and calculating. The INFJ featured people on Celebrity Types page also possessed some sort of this "tricky" aura. It seems to me that they know where is the delusion and reality parts, and somewhat enjoyed in tricking people into delusions, the "dreams" they created - while they themselves would smirked and whispered, "Now I know your secrets," as if they knew what were in our hearts already from the first sight.

Just like a honey-trap plus people-chess.

But this girl is different from that tricky and honey-trappy thing. I think that's why there's a quote about INFJ on a Youtube parody video, "I'm no one except half the Internet." Everyone who were attracted to arts, constantly on suicidal thoughts because society refusing to understand them, felt like fish out of water, combo with some degrees of God-complex, can assume themselves (and by tests) that they were rarest INFJs. While in reality, you can be anyone you want to become, but don't mix between yourself as a person and the image you inspired to be.

I thought myself was an INFJ once, but actually, I just misunderstood myself, probably at that time I was figuring out how to come closest to the girl-image whom I idolized when I was young, "All the women whom I idolized seem to be INFJ, so I must be an INFJ myself because I was naturally attracted to them." No, apprently, it's not working that way. It's a matter of nolstagia and connection. Later I came to realize that I was an Fi-user: although I cared deeply about people, I just cannot understand why they constantly tricked and backstabbed each other on daily basis. To love or to hate, that is an illogical and beautiful matter, but at least people should put it in a more subtle way, like put emotions into literature or something. Why do they have to actually take "literally barbaric actions" on it? To me, the art of communication equals the guide of how to survive in this world. If the society and haters cannot kill you by swords, they will slowly torture and murder you by sweet words - and get away with it.

I don't know, but I think Te-Fi combination usually earned the reputation of frequently correcting people. Like J. K Rowling (INFP), for example. Yes, I know you guys could be fans of her, but Rowling has shown habit of correcting her fans for details, "I know Harry Potter was famous and everyone has their own interpretations, but seriously, girls who fancied Draco should think again..." Her Fi and Ne helped her to enriched her inner world, and came out unexpected facts from nowhere, the classic example being Prof. D. was gay.

And then there were INTJs who constantly felt people making silly mistakes.

This girl (in the title) would actually smacked anyone if they sparked some assumptions or (mis)interpretations which go against her original idea. She is very private and has a clear distinction of what is "her world" and what is others' private world, but could not differentiate what is reality and what is "only her vision and images she's drowned herself into". Also, she's never learnt how to please people, and even worse, she acknowledged their existence and perceived them negatively. She makes friends because she felt bonded to them by feelings (which was a plus point, considering she was very honest but keep saying brutal things to her true feelings, just like when you gave self-punishment and reminded daily that, "I'm an idiot and not deserved to have pretty and nice things").

But then again, who knows. Maybe an INFJ e1 who had some problems with her childhood and was treated badly, that now she felt so insecure and protected herself from any criticism and attempted manipulation? Could be. Or maybe not.

 

[SearchingforPeace]

Fe does not mean accommodating. It means in tune with the emotional environment, the space between people. FJs are often out of touch with their own internal emotional environment, at least until they develop internally.

Some people find Fe users "cold", because they can distance their own emotions and feelings. Most descriptions of Fe relate SFJs more than NFJs, so it can be confusing.

Again, I haven't seen her behavior, or yours. I don't know how healthy either of you are. I don't know her enneagram or yours, and that is crucial to understanding either of you.

INFJs have been called chameleons.

She could be a ENTP. My ENTP brother is very in touch with his Fe and is a very personable person. His Ti and Ne often would get in difficulty with his nasty and bitter quick wit when he was younger, going wherever his Ti would take him, uncaring of the emotional cost to others.

How well do you know her? Did she have any childhood trauma? Does her family have any mental illness?

And what is your goal or purpose here? Are you intrigued by her, bothered by her, enthralled by her, or dating her?

In life, we are generally pulled to people that can help us grow through interacting with them. It is worth exploring for you.

 

[1487610420]

I too have many doubts.

 

[ABluePlanetian]

Uhm... Probably I have mistaken Fe here. My bad then.

I have not yet met an Fe that I could call "cold". In my university, there are my ESFJ and ISFJ friends who actually feel lonely. But they all seemed quiet sad when talking about their "single status" (especially ISFJ one) and talked about how they want to have a job and take care of their family, or build a family in the future, and sometimes they really need a friend who can "help" them. The ESFJ one will actually drag me into everywhere she thinks., "It's good for you to go."

To me, Fe are not cold. They're just sad when they realize their loneliness and secretly feel happy when someone regconize their "effort" and give them some candies, saying, "Thank you, you've done a great work!" I've noticed my ESFJ friend, without me, she's still fine and carry on her work perfectly. Yet she manifests her need of friends caring and wanting admiration in a sweet and nearly cheesy way.

I'm 21 years old and a university student. Basically, I'm kind of lazy and have certain mood-swing, but considers myself to be healthy enough to keep on with my life and have good relationship with my family and distant yet decent communication with people around me. It's okay if you found difficult to type her. She used to be my social friend and I admired her creative work. However, she abandoned everything and I tried to communicate her, not because I want her to get back to old works, but because I really felt bad that she constantly said she wanted to die, and she did not deserve people's admiration and how she was not even qualified as a good human being.

She said a lot of things that brings people's mood down, and I was also affected. And it really disturbed me at that time, since her works are great, and being influenced by her, I myself also became a cynical and dramatic person, because I thought I (and the society) have neglected people like her a lot. Then I grew up and realized it's not always my fault, but I used to admire her, and I want to have at least a definite insight of her character, that's all.

It's a habit of mine that I want to study all of people who had come to my life and made impacts on my inner world. I believe that by this method, I could finally reach total realization of my personal development. You do not know whether you were following your heart, or actually just being influenced by certain foreign intentions that others bring to you, right?

Personality is just to be re-discovered, only identity can be created. That's why we have multiple identities which can either please or irritate us.

Her family, at least in the photos, seem to be a happy one, no mental illness or whatsoever. Like I said, she's very exposed about her feelings on the internet, talking about her feelings and put them into works. She thinks nobody understands her motives, her actual intention, and once posted that "no one in this world cares enough for me." But at the same time, she does not let anyone tap into her private issues. Her family definitely love her but the problem is that she was keeping too much to herself, not openly communicated with them although they were the closests.

Judging by that, I think she might have used her Fe, in a violent and negative way...

I am an INFP or INTJ, I don't know. But I've already abandoned the idea of being an INFJ myself. I don't know my enneagram... I was related to E4, E5 and E6 to a lesser extent. But lately I've tested to be E1 .

She never stated her enneagram anywhere. But my guess could be either 4w3 (being dramatic and self-driven) or E6 (overwhelmed by insecurities).

 

[Luminous]

No, this girl is not an INFP. She might have snowflake syndrome - but she's too aggressive and authoritative to be one.

3. She never cares to be well-dressed or nicely-presented in public.
She likes fashion and aesthetic things, books and arts, but still wears boyish shirt and jeans on daily basis. Girlish things were the worst gifts for her. But deep down inside, she's still delusioned herself as a victim who needed to be noticed - not saved, by noticed, appreciated and praised, but acted tough on outside so nobody could clearly see that - then, seeing it's not working, she started to blamed the whole world for neglecting and not caring enough for her.

Hear this INFP aggressively and authoritatively tell you that if you threaten some value or someone I hold dear, you will see the claws come out. To my own shock, I have physically intimidated at least one person who was taking advantage of me. When I melt, it's out of positive feelings, not negative.

So she wants to be judged by the content of her character and talents and not her looks? You make this sound like a horrible thing.

 

[LucieCat]

Many people get their type wrong. It's common. I know a girl who is insistent that she is an INFP. And there is just no way. My best guess for her is actually ENTP (though maybe ENTJ is a possibility). Two of my good friends are INFPs, and she is vastly different than them in means of thought process and approach to life (they still all use Ne though). While INFPs are all different, there is just no fathomable way that she is the same type as them. Her justification for being a feeler is also "I have strong emotions" which doesn't really mean one is a feeler.

I do think her identification of her Enneagram as a 2 is accurate though. Although I could see 8, but 2's go to 8 when under stress. One of my best friends also seems like an 8 at times because of stress despite being a 2. I feel like you probably don't see a lot of ENTP 2s, but that's what I suspect she is. Albeit, I don't think she's a very mature, self-actualized ENTP, and there is certainly a good amount of Ne-Fe looping going on for her.

I also wouldn't call Fe cold. My mom is an ESFJ and she isn't cold in the slightest. In fact, she's rather hospitable, respectful, friendly, talkative, and all around likeable to most.

 

[ABluePlanetian]

Hear this INFP aggressively and authoritatively tell you that if you threaten some value or someone I hold dear, you will see the claws come out. To my own shock, I have physically intimidated at least one person who was taking advantage of me. When I melt, it's out of positive feelings, not negative.

So she wants to be judged by the content of her character and talents and not her looks? You make this sound like a horrible thing.

Did I make it sound like a horrible thing ? I'm sorry for not putting any emoticons there. No, it is not a horrible thing, at all. I tried to express what I can describe through standard English, and if this sounds too prejudiced for you, then my bad, I'm sincerely apologized . I stayed up late writing after finishing my homework, that's why my brain was not working smoothly and probably I was frustrated to find the right word from my limited vocabulary to to describe another person.

My father is an INFP too and he is authoritative. He's learning to classical guitar in his spare time (something he missed during his youth), admires Don Quixote and have read Jules Verne. But at the same time, he was the general manager of a building and construction company... sounds INFP to you? Not really . But he is very charismatic in his lazy and put-off way, and always holds up his high ideas, that's why everyone likes him. He does not care about his well-presentation at all, he is just his own person, and still people admire him because of that.

He is so much of an authoritative and sincere person of my home that even my ExSJ mother has to scared of him. But he was a sweet, decent and tolerant man, and only yelled when there was something TRULY inappropriate and disrespectful happened.

I know there is a difference between a person who is "so hurted that they are now easily to be offended" and the other is just simply a "berserk button".

I used to turn on a "berserk button" too when I was in high school, when I was bullied the point I cannot tolerate it anymore and had to stand up, but prior to that I was pretty much easy-going. In my opinion, it is very much different from "being easily offended by people who just said silly things" .

Trust me, I say everything with a smile. English is my second language so sometimes it's hard to process my feelings through it .

 

[ABluePlanetian]

Thank you [MENTION=34748]LucieCat[/MENTION]. I actually posted this thread because I used to have some connection with this girl. But now I've lost her contact. She was the person who made me wondered what MBTI was, and as she said she was an INFJ, for a long time I used to see her as a model for INFJ in my imagination when reading this type description.

I just want to re-define what I have known from the first impression with MBTI . Although I think only her can know her true personality, and I only described her from a third-person point of view.

I have seen people who said they are related to INTJ description, or INFJ or even INFP, INTP descriptions, but were they correct? As you said, if someone is having struggle with dealing his/her emotions, it does not mean they are "feelers" in an objective definition. Maybe they were actually INFJs, or maybe they were just tertiary or inferior-Fi who had emotionally-overwhelming problems.

But at least now I can detach from her being an absolute INFJ a bit and can consider her as another type, as well as anyone who stated their MBTI but can (potentially) prefer another cognitive functions .

Edit: I have seen Fe-people were naturally blended in the crowd. Everybody seems to accept Fe as part of them... or at least they're faking it so easily, lol (this was supposed to be a joke). But Fi was different: they're spaced out in their own world. My ISFP cousin always seemed to be a spaced-out little kitten whom people just simply adored. And if that "private world" was theatened, Fi will pull out the claws.

I mean, does, "I'm miserable and have to listened to music all day long because I don't want to deal with people who do not get me," sounds Fe? I thought Fe's natural quote sounds like, "I sometimes feel hopeless because there were too much responsibility on my shoulder. Can somebody understand my effort and help me a little bit?"

Also, INFP and INFJ, even the offensive and "authoritative" ones, will handle others' feelings like fragile petals. That's why they're "sensitive" - they cared and handled about their and others feelings. Lol, believe me, my first ever high school crush was a quirky INFP too and he would never do anything that hurt you physically or even, verbally. If he found your presence is such an offense, he would just silently spaced out. It's like to say, "I don't want to be close to this person. He/she makes me feel uncomfortable somehow." And only expressed his disagreement/anger when you invaded his privacy, insulted his Pikachu costume and pushed the limit too far.

But this girl only cared about her work is being fairly judged by others and she, being a person, can be accepted by others despite her flaws and frequent amotional outburst and strangely paradoxical natures, but if there is someone who is just being silly - and cruel - to her, she will stand up and speak at their face, in a confrontational, professional and frank way.

Oh, and she's also quiet materialistic too. She used to say that she wanted to be surrounded by fine things and expensive cars, majestic houses and fine manners. She also admired with aesthetic bodies of human and liked high-tech machines. I don't know about Fe and Fi part, that depended on her mood swings, but she is definitely an Se-user to begin with.

 

[Luminous]

I'm sorry I misread your tone, [MENTION=35678]ABluePlanetian[/MENTION].

I'm not experienced enough in typing to be able to help you. But I think you're correct in not using her, or any other specific person, as a model for a specific type, since everyone is going to have their own unique combination of functions, moods, fears, histories, etc.

 

[GirlSmartStreet]

Whatever mbti type that she has, something is off about her temper. i think sociotype can define her more. Her cognitive might be INFJ. I mean, if her frame of references are that small, she can be a bit radical and judgemental. She thinks the best way to treat people are like that. I know a person with the similar symptoms.

She probably seeing nice people as fake, and not sincere. But she never learn that she actually don't have to be that rude. It is hard to type unhealthy people.

If it is true that she is an unhealthy INFJ, i can consider as self-righteous. She thinks she is in the right path to some vision that she wants. She stifle her guilt and hurt people and blame the others for her righteousness.

And yes, we are familiar with some wise eloquent INFJ. but mbti types doesn't define any ESQ or cleverness. In her case, all of the patterns only means that she uses certain cognitive functions. I mean, don't even talk about nicole kidman or jon snow. They r only share the same cognitive functions, not the patterns.

May i ask if she frequently tell you her problems? Because if yes, i want to know if she is more likely ask for solutions but also doesn't like the fact that you are giving her solutions. In the end she will blame other people who have problem with her.

She has a really bad temper, yet she probably can see through people. It made her showing her true disgusts towards people. She can't try to be nice to fake people just only to cope for some teamwork. This impractical issues might occur to INFJ.

My guess is she is actually an INFJ. but i always can be wrong. It will take some times to know her official type.

 

[ABluePlanetian]

[MENTION=37244]GirlSmartStreet[/MENTION]. Yes, she did open to me about twice or three times something. But then again, she was quiet a "self-righteous" person, if that the correct word to use. Like, she considered being honest to the point shoving truth into people's throat is more of a moral thing than a nature-based trait she possessed.

I used to have a e-mail described her being a dreamy and lovely and... basically everything's nice, which made her silently disagree with. She then did not say anything to correct me, but indirectly show that I was wrong by putting out a self-portrait character which is a polar opposite: full of rebellious streak, "not-that-cute" and more realistic. But then again, I was a polite person to her at that time and she might not think I was a threat, that's why she did not fight back by saying, "How? All the presentation were wrong!"

But still, the correctness and sarcasm. Sometimes it's similar to J.K. Rowling's overprotective-ness over her work, but she is more...fair and realistic, I guess. I don't know. My ISFJ friend would *love* me to portrait her as a sweet, lovely and sympathetic character in stories and pictures - though she's sometimes manipulative and "fake" too, but yeah.

Like I said, I have only interact one-to-one with her twice or three-times. But she was very open about her struggles and feelings on the Internet, to the point it seemed like nobody in real life cared enough for her, and that's why she came to the Internet and literally yelled through it: "I'm a sad b****y piece of crap garbage and sorry but my life is just so disapponting and overwhelmed!"

I toned it down to PG-13. In reality, she publicly posted lots of swear words and used them like a solution for her real-life anxiety. But when I personally talked to her, I noticed that she did not use much of swear words. But maybe because I was "nice" at some point to begin with.

We valued authencity, but I think she abused the word so much. She literally exposed her emotional struggling on Internet so clearly that it was not hard to find her real motive: she wanted help, that's all, but apparently was too "prideful, tough, sarcastic, realistic and interesting" for everyone's own good. Everyone wanted to help, but nobody was able to, so she brushed us aside.

I don't know, but I am actually quiet good at reading other people's motives in real life, it's just I did not bother myself to do that because I have plenty of things to do, so I distract myself from it. But when I do, it's usually correct.

Also, she transcended lots of personal issues in real life towards the characters. It's easy to see character A. has gone through distress and pressure of schoolwork, character B. "seemed" to have a personality disorder because she interpreted herself having some symptoms, female character C. seemed to be a Mary-Sue, although she stated "her character being average looking and having average academic grade", but Char C. was also bearing lots of traits and interests which she (the author) had, also her insecurities and unexpectedly received care and attention from others who viewed her as being "a cute and helpless little candy." Character D. is a hard-core troll, whom she took him as a token of her madness and rebellious streak.

Basically, she would not develop any character who was not relatable to her. She used her characters and her words like a place where she could hide her emotions, obsession and dreams, emotional life and pressure, insecurities and self-actualization, and each character will bear some exaggrated traits she possessed, or of the men/women she found as ideal.

The rest were just a whole bunch of two-dimensional side-characters which she did not even care to enrich and follow the development. They were either rich kids who was kind enough to help the cute Character C, or just "poor, lower social standard" people she could not care less.

I don't know why I read her when I was younger. Seriously, I read lots of goofy things when I was young, so it's okay. It's fine.

I quit talking to her because she drowned my emotions too much. It's hard because I used to admire her, but then I would not want to talk to her again. She has shown no sign of improvement and two years after she quit her work, when I asked personally, she still held that grudge and anxiety. It just felt like she's drowned herself in her own sadness and at least, I did not want to be the person who did anything wrong and she will blame later on. So I decided to let her go.

 

[GirlSmartStreet]

actually, we share a very common story. Girl who drained us so much to the point i once hating myself for not capable change anything. And yes, we become more cautious about her. We carefully tell our opinion, and still got cruelled on. The difference is, the one who i acquintaned, tell me frequently she is an INFJ. But she changes her own mbti frequently too to the point i feel like she only want to become the best type she thinks in that exact time.

She said, "oh, i'm an isfj. I'm an istp. I'm an isfp. I'm an intj. Ok, actually i am infj. I was right at the first." the labels poisoned her. I mean, does people really changing their types that easily? It goes naturally as we are comfortable with certain cognitive functions.

This indecisiveness, self righteousness, and really bad temper, this kind of person probably have some mental illness that only professional can help them to the maximum. We could only give moral support, but yeah. It's exhausting, i understand. So you made a good choice for letting her go. otherwise, i don't know how far u can take the drain and the results are not very significant either.

And btw, thanks for sharing the stories. I learnt a lot.

 

[ABluePlanetian]

[MENTION=37244]GirlSmartStreet[/MENTION], it 's okay .