Yeah, I think my emotional stuff is mostly in the realms of anger and anxiety though. Once a long time ago I told my sister I was a peacemaker and she laughed at me! I don't relate to that e9 archetype of "peacemaker" at all, but someone suggested that's because I have a line to counterphobia. When I do act like a pushover I obsess over it and I feel like I can't be fine until I "redeem" myself to myself. So basically that 5% counterphobia link won't let me exist comfortably, it's fun. I do get tired of fighting though and am in the end perhaps too willing to sue for peace. I also think fighting over certain things is stupid and too much work so I will let them go. Anyway, I think "seeker" would be a better title for e9 but they apparently just named every type after their coping mechanism.
I actually think being depressed during the 2 year phase of catatonia helped me learn not to be so dramatic, as bad as that sounds lol. Before that I was more like that. So now I'm not usually like that but I still generally have trouble controlling my emotions too well. But right now I'm more inbetween the overly emotional of before depression and the flat, zombie quality of depression. As I mentioned in one of our convos before, I don't really indentify with the indifference a lot of 9's exhibit. It's more like I usually don't know how to express some things.
But I also think it's because my stronger emotions tend to be "disembodied" and almost guttural. I don't have the refinement you guys have, I'm more basic and I also think I hold these values almost instinctively because I don't understand myself or who I am.
But yeah, I do think it's my second strongest fix because I relate to the head triad types least of all. The way I exist seems so different from the way they do.
Thank you for the typing, you mentioned some really insightful things.