stupidgirl
New member
- Joined
- Mar 20, 2018
- Messages
- 77
- MBTI Type
- IxFx
- Enneagram
- 614
Thank you for the questionnaire
[MENTION=18576]Sanjuro[/MENTION]
1. Establish a "baseline mood"--when you're at home with nothing to do, where are you at mentally and emotionally? What do you notice in yourself? (Note, this is not a mood you inhabit "frequently", but your psychological baseline).
I get anxious when I'm alone, because I remember the emotions I've retained and hidden. Then comes the memories of the past, in my childhood, where I found myself naive. I feel anger, sadness and incomprehension of the people who are around me, and this period of my life I was very fragile.
2. Describe yourself--
a. What's it like to be you?
To be like me is to be quiet and observe what is happening, and to draw conclusions of our own. Follow what you believe and do what is right. At times, be explosive and have unexpected attitudes, like a bomb. Have a sense of guilt, as if my personality was insufficient and small to deal with the world and people. Feeling guilty at times because of the self-awareness of being a better or different person, as if what I have now was not enough and should change.
b. What have others said about you?
The others say that I am a temperamental person, with rapid changes of emotions. Organized and systematic, she likes the right things. At times I am cold, as if I do not show emotions. Sarcastic and ironic about things and it makes me be funny. Intelligent and I like to classify people and things. Easy to notice when I'm angry, because I'm sincere in showing when something displeases me.
c. What do you think of yourself?
I feel insecure about myself, distrustful of what I feel and what others feel about me (as if someone could take advantage of my feelings) and then I raise my guard to avoid hurting myself, creating a considerable distance between the others and me. I was wrong to think that my relatives (godmother and godfather) liked me and followed their rules, and then I controlled myself to follow what they considered right, and repress many feelings (anger, cry and etc). So I realize that this attitude I had in the past was wrong and hurt my personality and contact with other people.
I consider myself intelligent but with inner conflict of my feelings, due to the guilt of thinking that I allowed them to hurt me.
3. You're not good at everything--
a. What personality traits and/or ways of being are impossible for you to adopt?
I can not negotiate, do long-term planning, lie to get something or someone, hold grudges or anger for a long time.
b. What are qualities you'd like to have, but can't seem to develop?
Being more extroverted, taking life less seriously, having more confidence about what I feel and showing more who I am and what I feel, not hiding.
4. Why have you left friends and other relationships in the past and/or why have they left you?
I think I had a dyssynchrony of time, when I started to have a friendship, it ended for no apparent reason. So I started getting used to it, and sometimes I let the others go. At times, it was for fear of deepening and linking the person, so I would fight with the person and move away.
5. They claim enneagram type is a hidden love need. What are your attitudes toward finding love?
I realize that I want to love and be loved, but I block it myself. I already fell in love and did not have the relationship, becoming a platonic love. So I felt anger and I do not want to love anyone anymore. I've been with other guys, but I did not continue.
Right now, I do not want to know about dating.
6. Determine your ego ideal--the way you strive to be and want others to perceive you. (Note, you may be consciously aware of failing at this, and you will be hard on yourself if you do. If someone else tells you you're NOT this way, it may make you feel hurt, violated, or angry.)
I want to be a generous, nice, intelligent person who likes to be with people and relaxed. Being happy and feeling that the world can be a good place, that even if we have defeats, we can win.
7. Determine your "felt sense" of life. To do this it may help to look at how you perceive events. Another way to do this is to look back at your childhood and think of all the things your parents did to you. How did you/do you feel about these events?
- I feel imperfect, not (good) enough
- I have been abandoned and I am inherently flawed
- I have felt weak and/or vulnerable to attack
- I've had a sense of being rejectible
I was happy beside my parents, and my godmother took care of me slowly. So when my parents divorced (I was 7), I finally moved in with my godmother and things did not go smooth. She was very controlling and authoritarian, scolding me excessively and making bad comments about me. She said that I was selfish and self-willed to be by her side, that my caresses were to achieve things. Then I began to isolate myself from people and the world, for feeling that I was imperfect and that my love was insufficient for her, I felt anger at it, so angry that I cried alone in my room. My biggest hurt is that the demonstrations of my feelings (caresses, hugs and etc) were like bad attitudes, so I tried to cut it out of my life, trying to become more rational and practical.
8. Core fears. You may have been aware of these fears even as a very small child, before anyone did anything to influence it. You'd be mortified to be in this position or have others perceive you this way.
Discuss which fears have played the greatest role in your life:
- A lot--everything and everyone to one degree or another. It's very generalized.
I remember little, but I know I thought if I would be able to sustain my life or how I could do those adult things alone
I took some questions from the quiz to not be repetitive.
Thank you if you read this far.
[MENTION=18576]Sanjuro[/MENTION]
1. Establish a "baseline mood"--when you're at home with nothing to do, where are you at mentally and emotionally? What do you notice in yourself? (Note, this is not a mood you inhabit "frequently", but your psychological baseline).
I get anxious when I'm alone, because I remember the emotions I've retained and hidden. Then comes the memories of the past, in my childhood, where I found myself naive. I feel anger, sadness and incomprehension of the people who are around me, and this period of my life I was very fragile.
2. Describe yourself--
a. What's it like to be you?
To be like me is to be quiet and observe what is happening, and to draw conclusions of our own. Follow what you believe and do what is right. At times, be explosive and have unexpected attitudes, like a bomb. Have a sense of guilt, as if my personality was insufficient and small to deal with the world and people. Feeling guilty at times because of the self-awareness of being a better or different person, as if what I have now was not enough and should change.
b. What have others said about you?
The others say that I am a temperamental person, with rapid changes of emotions. Organized and systematic, she likes the right things. At times I am cold, as if I do not show emotions. Sarcastic and ironic about things and it makes me be funny. Intelligent and I like to classify people and things. Easy to notice when I'm angry, because I'm sincere in showing when something displeases me.
c. What do you think of yourself?
I feel insecure about myself, distrustful of what I feel and what others feel about me (as if someone could take advantage of my feelings) and then I raise my guard to avoid hurting myself, creating a considerable distance between the others and me. I was wrong to think that my relatives (godmother and godfather) liked me and followed their rules, and then I controlled myself to follow what they considered right, and repress many feelings (anger, cry and etc). So I realize that this attitude I had in the past was wrong and hurt my personality and contact with other people.
I consider myself intelligent but with inner conflict of my feelings, due to the guilt of thinking that I allowed them to hurt me.
3. You're not good at everything--
a. What personality traits and/or ways of being are impossible for you to adopt?
I can not negotiate, do long-term planning, lie to get something or someone, hold grudges or anger for a long time.
b. What are qualities you'd like to have, but can't seem to develop?
Being more extroverted, taking life less seriously, having more confidence about what I feel and showing more who I am and what I feel, not hiding.
4. Why have you left friends and other relationships in the past and/or why have they left you?
I think I had a dyssynchrony of time, when I started to have a friendship, it ended for no apparent reason. So I started getting used to it, and sometimes I let the others go. At times, it was for fear of deepening and linking the person, so I would fight with the person and move away.
5. They claim enneagram type is a hidden love need. What are your attitudes toward finding love?
I realize that I want to love and be loved, but I block it myself. I already fell in love and did not have the relationship, becoming a platonic love. So I felt anger and I do not want to love anyone anymore. I've been with other guys, but I did not continue.
Right now, I do not want to know about dating.
6. Determine your ego ideal--the way you strive to be and want others to perceive you. (Note, you may be consciously aware of failing at this, and you will be hard on yourself if you do. If someone else tells you you're NOT this way, it may make you feel hurt, violated, or angry.)
I want to be a generous, nice, intelligent person who likes to be with people and relaxed. Being happy and feeling that the world can be a good place, that even if we have defeats, we can win.
7. Determine your "felt sense" of life. To do this it may help to look at how you perceive events. Another way to do this is to look back at your childhood and think of all the things your parents did to you. How did you/do you feel about these events?
- I feel imperfect, not (good) enough
- I have been abandoned and I am inherently flawed
- I have felt weak and/or vulnerable to attack
- I've had a sense of being rejectible
I was happy beside my parents, and my godmother took care of me slowly. So when my parents divorced (I was 7), I finally moved in with my godmother and things did not go smooth. She was very controlling and authoritarian, scolding me excessively and making bad comments about me. She said that I was selfish and self-willed to be by her side, that my caresses were to achieve things. Then I began to isolate myself from people and the world, for feeling that I was imperfect and that my love was insufficient for her, I felt anger at it, so angry that I cried alone in my room. My biggest hurt is that the demonstrations of my feelings (caresses, hugs and etc) were like bad attitudes, so I tried to cut it out of my life, trying to become more rational and practical.
8. Core fears. You may have been aware of these fears even as a very small child, before anyone did anything to influence it. You'd be mortified to be in this position or have others perceive you this way.
Discuss which fears have played the greatest role in your life:
- A lot--everything and everyone to one degree or another. It's very generalized.
I remember little, but I know I thought if I would be able to sustain my life or how I could do those adult things alone
I took some questions from the quiz to not be repetitive.
Thank you if you read this far.
