faithhealing
New member
- Joined
- Dec 20, 2017
- Messages
- 2
- Instinctual Variant
- sp
Hi! I'm brand new to the forum but I've been lurking for awhile!
I'll preface this by letting you know that I have been diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder. One key feature of BPD is an having an 'unstable sense of self'. Which, in short, means that I have a difficult time accurately assessing myself in any context, including in regards to the MBTI. I've typed frequently as INFJ, ISFP, ENTP, INTP, it's seemingly random. I've read that assessments (or tests, whatever you prefer to call them) are not also accurate. But, reading descriptions about the types and applying them to myself is not guaranteed either for me! I feel like an entirely different person depending on the day. Sometimes it depends on the hour, or what I'm doing. So, if anyone who is more knowledgeable than me could guide me in the right direction than I'd really appreciate it!
I'm not exactly sure what I should say about myself. If you have any questions that may help you with typing me then I'd be more than happy to answer them, of course. But, I'll start by saying that I'm reserved around people unless I know them well but I can be super talkative around anyone really. I'm sure there are people who would say I'm excessively cheery and prone to rambling. I have my quiet days too. It really depends on my mood, which is always cycling. It may be important to note that I am also working on recovery from depression. So, there are days were I stay in bed and turn away from the world, for sure. But, I'm not sure if my low moods are indicative of my personality type. It's hard for me to say. But, anyway. I think of my behavior as bold, I have a lot of nervous energy and I would say I'm introspective. But I still like attention and standing out from the crowd usually. I can be flamboyant but I generally think that I'm easy to get along with. I'm only combative with people who I feel are infringing on the rights of others! I wish more people would offer one another compassion more readily. I have a mutual friend who regularly shows a lack of respect for the homeless and he tends to look down on people who drink a lot. An attitude like that is very off putting to me and I wouldn't hesitate to speak my mind in such a situation!
I have only a few close friends but a wider circle of friends who I see every once in awhile. I like my alone time but it often leaves me feeling empty too. Like, life isn't fulfilling without frequent adventures and nonrestrictive freedom. I guess I like to think of myself as someone who is analytical. My sister, who is an INFP, knows whether or not she likes something instinctively almost. Whereas I want to dissect everything I take it. From movies to the way people interact with each other. With that being said, I think she may be more sensitive to how other people treat her and how her actions may effect others than I am. Which I admire in her. I have an INTJ friend too. He's an angel at his core but his judgmental nature is something I cannot understand. I always tell him how it's important to treat others how THEY would like to be treated. Everything is relative (even if I have a hard time seeing that myself sometimes) and people are dealing with enough of their own issues to add to their individual struggles. Talking behind people's backs and gossip makes me uncomfortable. I'm not a saint obviously! But I try my best to live how I feel is right and respectful. By giving other's space and making them feel valued.
I'm not as 'peace on earth' as I'm making myself come across here though haha! I have my hot streaks! My temper and attitude can be volatile. I'm a work-in-progress. I have a tendency to be hard on myself. Self-conscious too. I think I may come across as selfish sometimes. Fixating on my own life before other people's. But, I'm a big proponent for self-love and self-respect. I hated school high school and stopped going for awhile because I felt like the structure and pressure forced students to conform to the ideals of their teachers and their peers. Individualism is key and everyone is special in their own way. Deep down, I really do believe that. Day-to-day life is boring! I can be excitable about small things, like eating out with friends, a cathartic therapy session, a new episode of my favorite show. But, I'm more focused on what's happening tomorrow than what's happening today usually. Even if I may come across as lackadaisical. I feel like a walking contradiction in so many ways! I'm slowly starting to understand that you cannot paint yourself with a thin brush though. We're all complex and capable of both thoughts and acts of great kindness and selfishly imposing ourselves on others. Often the distinction between good and bad is nothing more than a matter of perspective.
I could keep going but I better keep this short (yes, this is what I consider "short" when talking about myself). Like I mentioned, I'd be happy to answer any questions you might have about me. I'm open to suggestions and comments too. Please, don't hold back! I've been stressing about this a lot more and for a longer period of time than I've probably needed to. Thanks in advance for any response I may get!
I'll preface this by letting you know that I have been diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder. One key feature of BPD is an having an 'unstable sense of self'. Which, in short, means that I have a difficult time accurately assessing myself in any context, including in regards to the MBTI. I've typed frequently as INFJ, ISFP, ENTP, INTP, it's seemingly random. I've read that assessments (or tests, whatever you prefer to call them) are not also accurate. But, reading descriptions about the types and applying them to myself is not guaranteed either for me! I feel like an entirely different person depending on the day. Sometimes it depends on the hour, or what I'm doing. So, if anyone who is more knowledgeable than me could guide me in the right direction than I'd really appreciate it!
I'm not exactly sure what I should say about myself. If you have any questions that may help you with typing me then I'd be more than happy to answer them, of course. But, I'll start by saying that I'm reserved around people unless I know them well but I can be super talkative around anyone really. I'm sure there are people who would say I'm excessively cheery and prone to rambling. I have my quiet days too. It really depends on my mood, which is always cycling. It may be important to note that I am also working on recovery from depression. So, there are days were I stay in bed and turn away from the world, for sure. But, I'm not sure if my low moods are indicative of my personality type. It's hard for me to say. But, anyway. I think of my behavior as bold, I have a lot of nervous energy and I would say I'm introspective. But I still like attention and standing out from the crowd usually. I can be flamboyant but I generally think that I'm easy to get along with. I'm only combative with people who I feel are infringing on the rights of others! I wish more people would offer one another compassion more readily. I have a mutual friend who regularly shows a lack of respect for the homeless and he tends to look down on people who drink a lot. An attitude like that is very off putting to me and I wouldn't hesitate to speak my mind in such a situation!
I have only a few close friends but a wider circle of friends who I see every once in awhile. I like my alone time but it often leaves me feeling empty too. Like, life isn't fulfilling without frequent adventures and nonrestrictive freedom. I guess I like to think of myself as someone who is analytical. My sister, who is an INFP, knows whether or not she likes something instinctively almost. Whereas I want to dissect everything I take it. From movies to the way people interact with each other. With that being said, I think she may be more sensitive to how other people treat her and how her actions may effect others than I am. Which I admire in her. I have an INTJ friend too. He's an angel at his core but his judgmental nature is something I cannot understand. I always tell him how it's important to treat others how THEY would like to be treated. Everything is relative (even if I have a hard time seeing that myself sometimes) and people are dealing with enough of their own issues to add to their individual struggles. Talking behind people's backs and gossip makes me uncomfortable. I'm not a saint obviously! But I try my best to live how I feel is right and respectful. By giving other's space and making them feel valued.
I'm not as 'peace on earth' as I'm making myself come across here though haha! I have my hot streaks! My temper and attitude can be volatile. I'm a work-in-progress. I have a tendency to be hard on myself. Self-conscious too. I think I may come across as selfish sometimes. Fixating on my own life before other people's. But, I'm a big proponent for self-love and self-respect. I hated school high school and stopped going for awhile because I felt like the structure and pressure forced students to conform to the ideals of their teachers and their peers. Individualism is key and everyone is special in their own way. Deep down, I really do believe that. Day-to-day life is boring! I can be excitable about small things, like eating out with friends, a cathartic therapy session, a new episode of my favorite show. But, I'm more focused on what's happening tomorrow than what's happening today usually. Even if I may come across as lackadaisical. I feel like a walking contradiction in so many ways! I'm slowly starting to understand that you cannot paint yourself with a thin brush though. We're all complex and capable of both thoughts and acts of great kindness and selfishly imposing ourselves on others. Often the distinction between good and bad is nothing more than a matter of perspective.
I could keep going but I better keep this short (yes, this is what I consider "short" when talking about myself). Like I mentioned, I'd be happy to answer any questions you might have about me. I'm open to suggestions and comments too. Please, don't hold back! I've been stressing about this a lot more and for a longer period of time than I've probably needed to. Thanks in advance for any response I may get!
