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Seeking Insight to My Enneagram Type

LucieCat

New member
Joined
Aug 2, 2017
Messages
665
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
6w7
Instinctual Variant
sp/so
Hello, I am really confused about my Enneagram type. So, I filled out this survey and would like people to read it and comment on what type they think I sound the most like.

As of right now, I am pretty sure I have an sp/so or so/sp instinctual variant. I'm definitely sx last.

0. What's making you unsure of your type? What research have you already done to determine type?

I have listened to a few podcasts and done some readings on websites. I think I might be a 7w6 with the sexual instinct last, but I am not entirely sure. I suppose it’s easy for me to doubt. I also really identify with a lot of aspects of 6 as well. I haven’t delved too deeply mainly because of my frustration with trying to figure out type. I don’t really want to rely on personality tests as they can be inaccurate. I went from thinking I was a 9 to thinking I was a 4 to thinking I was a 6 to thinking I was a 7, and that’s only the short version of the thoughts that have flown through my mind. Oh, and I also have some 3ish qualities. Overall, I can be very indecisive.

1. Establish a "baseline mood"--when you're at home with nothing to do, where are you at mentally and emotionally? What do you notice in yourself?

Well, I tend to get a bit restless. I have to find something to do. I hate just sitting there with nothing to do unless I am going to sleep. I also tend to notice how vulnerable and alone I am at times. It’s nice to be alone, but every once in a while there will be this lingering sort of sadness and fear of missing out.

My brain is also generating ideas left and right. I am in a constant state of thought and internal dialogue—mostly about “What if?” scenarios. These can be fun and fantastical, preparing myself for something that could or will come up, or just plain anxiety-inducing.

2. Describe yourself--
a. What's it like to be you?

I suppose it’s hard to separate what it is like to be me, as I have never been anyone but myself. I feel as if I am a very complex and complicated person who very few people know entirely.

I can be a bit goofy and eccentric. I’m an individual and I don’t see a need to “blend” in with the crowd on most occasions. I do have a philosophical, deep, intellectual side. I love learning about anything and everything. Friendly debates are extremely energizing for me.

I also have an even temper. I never get offended, and rarely am I ever truly angry. The few times I have publically blown up at someone has usually been because the person had either been cruel to someone I care about. The only exception I can think of is when, in high school, a peer went around telling people he had had sex with me. I had never been alone in the same room as this guy, let alone have sex with him. It just dug under my skin. Anyways, sometimes I look back and realize that I needed to be more confrontational in a way while I faced issues. I don’t exactly want conflict, but if it’s necessary—then so be it.

I do frequently get frustrated at myself. In many ways, I am my own worst critic.

Sometimes I can be a bit shy. I get nervous sometimes when talking to people I really admire and/or want to get to know better. I’m usually social, but at times I can be a bit withdrawn and reclusive. A lot of this comes from my nerves. I tend to also float around social groups, forming connections everywhere. I might not have deep friendships everywhere, but I at least make an effort to get to know all sorts of people.

I have a strong desire to make a positive impact in the world. I have always been driven to do something important.

b. What have others said about you?

There seems to be two dominant ways people see me:

The first is as a light-hearted, silly, youthful, and funny girl. These are all qualities of me to some degree. I like to make people laugh and have a good time. When people view me this way, they underestimate my capabilities. I am seen as indecisive and flighty and irresponsible. This side of me seems to be the reason why no one has ever thought of me as leadership material. I would like to lead something though! I might not have a straight path forward, and I may be a bit improvisational, but I want to prove myself.

The second is as a serious, hard-working, and responsible intellectual. This side is the one people seem to believe in and trust. I show this side whenever possible, but fear it is missing another core part of who I am.

I think both are true yet an unrealistic picture of me. I’m a combination of both really.

I am often seen as younger than I am—because of my looks as well as the fact that my extended family only really ever knew me as a young girl and refuse to acknowledge that I am a young adult. This frustrates me as I have always had a wisdom beyond my years and an intellectual capacity greater than most adults’. I may have had too low of an IQ to get into seminar program in school, but that number misses out on how I have always been light years ahead of my peers.

I’ve been described as an optimist on many occasions. I honestly see myself in between optimistic and pessimistic. Though I suppose my encouraging attitude towards others and sincere belief in them makes me seem like an optimist.

c. What do you think of yourself?

I think I’m a very complex, unique person. I don’t really seem to fit the “mold” of many things. In the moment, I often frustrate myself and wish I could be different. Overall, however, I am pretty content with the way things are. I believe that I can achieve great things.

I also have a knack for getting along with people no matter who they are. I’m open-minded and non-judgmental. I can also detect people’s good qualities. For some reason, I also am great at lifting people’s spirits. It seems to be natural. Much with my sense of humor, it is not something I actually try to do. However, I seem to just make people feel better. There’s been many times where someone has remarked how much better they felt after just talking to me.

3. What are the issues you've dealt with in life? List some recurrent themes, and tell us a little about each one.

Rejection: As a child, I was really good at impressing adults with my wits and knowledge. I didn’t realize this wouldn’t translate well into my peers’ minds. Thus, I had trouble making and keeping friends. I unknowingly scared the other children away at times. This has continued off and on, but it was the worse in middle school when I had some terrible friends who made me feel inferior.

I was not outright rejected by my family per say, but I ended up coming to a place in life where I had to ultimately disregard nearly everyone except my parents. There’s a lot of toxicity on both sides of my extended family. Most of my relatives do not take me seriously in any respect. I also have a maternal grandmother who has blatantly made it clear that I am her least favorite grandchild. This hurt a lot, and I was often bitterly envious of friends who had strong familial relationships in my younger years. Towards the end of puberty, I really just realized that I hate how most of them treat my parents to begin with, and it just is not worth the toxicity. I have left it up to them to decide whether or not they want to have a relationship with me. I’ll hear from one of them every once in a while, but it’s mostly like they don’t exist. Although it sounds harsh, I don’t care for them in any special way. I see them as I see every other person in this world (which is not a negative thing at all).

Feeling inferior: I have always felt like the least smart of the smart people. Whatever I did was not the best, so it was not good enough. There was always someone better than me. To protect myself from feeling this, I convinced myself that I was average and completely unremarkable. I’m starting now to unbox my potential that I denied for so long, and what I find often makes me a bit uncomfortable. I don’t want to come across as arrogant at all.

Anxiety- I have generalized anxiety disorder. It’s controlled much better now. However, I have always been afraid of everything almost. Anything can technically cause an anxiety attack—current events, natural disasters, social events, etc. It’s hard to say I have any specific fears. I don’t have frequent problems with anxiety as much anymore, but it’s still there.

4. You're not good at everything--
a. What personality traits and/or ways of being are impossible for you to adopt?

Well, I am never going to be an athletic or a coordinated person. I was born with terribly weak muscles. So, it’s pretty much impossible for me to anything that is more than moderately athletic. It’s not to the point where I am considered physically disabled, though I was when I was younger.

It’s also difficult for me to finish projects I have started. If it doesn’t have a deadline and is not for work/school/someone I care for, I will get distracted and run off and do something else.

I also really can’t see myself as the “settle down and live a traditional life” type. Nor can I ever see myself living a life just because it is expected of me. This is my life, after all, not theirs.

b. What are qualities you'd like to have, but can't seem to develop?

I want to be taken seriously and have some sort of important prominent position. Time and time again I have been rejected, tossed aside, and faced with people who just do not believe in me. Lately, this has begun to change, but it’s still been a HUGE theme.

I would like to become a better listener as well. If you get me talking, I don’t stop. However, I want to be more attentive to what other people have to say and do not want to dominate the conversation. Sometimes I think I do.

I also tend to tell people what they want to hear and overcomplicate rather simple answers. It’s usually not out of an attempt to deceive, but it’s a flaw of mine and a pattern I have been trying very hard to correct.

I’m also super forgetful and have a terrible short-term memory. My long term memory is pretty formidable though.

5. Why have you left friends and other relationships in the past and/or why have they left you?

Well, as explained above, I left my very slim relationships with my extended family because it was not worth the toxicity. I wasn’t taken seriously or valued, and I came to terms with the fact that most of them are never going to change.

I sometimes accidently let friends float away. This makes me sad, I’m terrible at keeping up with people. Even if I haven’t seen someone I care about in a long time, I still keep them in my heart and thoughts.

I also have left friends who have treated me horribly. I wanted to give them more chances, but they ruined them every time. So I decided to cut my losses. This at times would leave me with no friends, but honestly, I didn’t need those jerks anyway.

I’m not one for dating and relationships. The closest thing I have had to one (which was really a complicated, convoluted mess that I’d rather not get into) technically “ended” when I rejected the guy’s proposal. It was right out of high school, so I wasn’t ready to get married, which I told him (he’s a great person who I care for tremendously so I felt bad). What I didn’t say is that we would make each other miserable in the long run. One of us would end up getting dragged down, and I would hate for that to happen. I want to live an exciting life where I can travel and explore and not be tied down, and I he is more of someone who would like to live a quiet life more akin to settling down.

6. Which types do you identify with most?

For me that would be Type 6, Type 7, and possibly Type 3
a. How do you relate to these types?
Type 6- A lot of my decisions are primarily driven by fear and anxiety. I also want support, and it makes me extremely happy when people express that they believe in me. I also see myself as rather responsible. I also doubt myself frequently, this is both a trait I have noticed in myself and something that others have commented.

Type 7- I am energetic and upbeat, like most people tend to picture 7s. I often find myself distracting myself. Sometimes I skirt around problems and try to avoid them. I hate this quality about myself though and I strive not to do this. I’m also a free-spirit, a bit scattered, and want to preserve my happiness.

Type 3- I have a strong, burning desire to succeed and prove myself. Being worthless and never accomplishing anything important is a terrifying prospect to me. I am motivated by the encouragement of others.

b. How do you NOT relate to them?
Type 6- I wonder how much of my relation to Type 6 is connected to my anxiety disorder and if they can be connected. Am I mistaking a mental illness for the enneagram type? Or are they one in the same. I’m also very independent, and I do not necessarily need authority—I’m rather distrusting of it at times unless I have taken a long enough time to analyze the person.

Type 7- I do not really relate to the fear of being deprived, it is there, but it is minor.

Type 3- I am not competitive, and when I am it is usually because I am in a very bad state of mind. I’m also much more of a “feeler” than the typical three. Plus, I feel like my 3 qualities might not be the driving force in my life. I’m really not sure about this type. It is very likely part of my tritype though (granted, if that part is not 4).

7. Which types are least like you?
Type 8
a. Why specifically do you not relate to these types?
I am rather indecisive, only confrontational when pushed to my limits, and I am not domineering at all. I also have very little natural talent for leadership, people never look at me as a leader for some reason. I feel 8s are very leader-like people.
b. What points (if any) DO you relate to?
I do want to be in control of my own life and preserve my independence. I enjoy challenging myself as well.

8. They claim enneagram type is a hidden love need. What are your attitudes toward finding love?

I am an aromantic asexual. The ideas of romantic and sexual relationships only incur apathy within me. Granted, I think romantic things are cute and enjoy the occasional fictional ship. However, the idea of myself personally involved in such a relationship makes me very apathetic at best, and uncomfortable at worst.

I do want to be loved and express love though. Most of the love I express is platonic towards those I care about. I also have a love for knowledge and information and I want to express my own love for the world by making it a better place. I am a staunch advocate of there being many kinds of love.

I never go out intentionally looking for love.

9. What is the message your superego tells you?

My superego essentially tells me that I am worthless, stupid, and incapable of even the most basic things. It says I will never be important or find the purpose in life that I desire. Occasionally, it also claims that people hate me.


For the following, rank the issues in the order they apply and give a brief description of why and how you relate.

10. Determine your ego ideal--the way you strive to be and want others to perceive you. (Note, you may be consciously aware of failing at this, and you will be hard on yourself if you do. If someone else tells you you're NOT this way, it may make you feel hurt, violated, or angry.)

Which of the following ideals resonate with you the most, and why? Rank them.

1. to be "okay", having it together
2. to be knowledgeable
3. to be accomplished and successful
4. to strive to become/behave like a good person
5. to be devoted and loyal to a person or cause
6. to be sensitive, original, unique, and creative
7. to be loving and benevolent
8. to be powerful, strong, unassailable
9. to be a loveable person


11. Determine your "felt sense" of life. To do this it may help to look at how you perceive events. Another way to do this is to look back at your childhood and think of all the things your parents did to you. How did you/do you feel about these events?

Here are some common "felt senses" of life:
- I have a sense of being unimportant, insignificant, and underving of attention
- I feel imperfect, not (good) enough
- I feel isolated, cut off, and ultimately separate
- I have felt weak and/or vulnerable to attack
- I've had a sense of being rejectible

All of these describe me in some way. I think they are due to the social rejection I have suffered as well as constantly being underestimated in pretty much everything I have ever cared about or tried to do.


12. Core fears. You may have been aware of these fears even as a very small child, before anyone did anything to influence it. You'd be mortified to be in this position or have others perceive you this way.

A lot--everything and everyone to one degree or another. It's very generalized.

This sentence really sums it up in my opinion. This might be because of my generalized anxiety disorder, but it is still there.

Thank you in advance!
 
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