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Thought I was a Fi-Dom but now i'm not sure, advice?

Yay

New member
Joined
May 30, 2017
Messages
122
MBTI Type
INFP
I typed as IXFP and certain traits suit me well , but I can relate to almost every type.

I'm not super organized, with like desk work and things like that (the outer world items) but I like to have closure about deadlines and stuff like that. Going with the flow too much makes me feel anxious. I think about my future a lot and I always try and plan what i'm going to do days, months, and years from now.

I am very in touch with my own emotions and beliefs, (Fi) But at the same time, I care more about helping other people with their problems rather than my own. One of the most important things to me is honesty, it's one of my values (Is that Fi? ) But I concentrate more on being a shoulder for people I care about, one of the most important things to me is making sure they are safe, and happy. I feel like it's a personal responsibility to help people with their problems.

One thing that's really making me question my Fi VS Fe, is that Fi-doms are supposedly less outwardly expressive of their feelings through verbal communication. While I was like that in an unhealthy state, I am the kind of person overall who naturally wears my heart on my sleeve. I want people to know exactly how I feel and think, and i'm not afraid to express that to the world. I'm not shy about expressing how I feel, unless the situation really doesn't call for it

But on the flip side, I don't try to fit in anywhere. I suppose I do try to agree with people to get along sometimes, but I would never fake who I was or act insincere. I'm not looking for approval from everyone, although I do need it constantly from people i'm close too..
 

RadicalDoubt

Alongside Questionable Clarity
Joined
Jun 27, 2017
Messages
1,848
MBTI Type
TiSi
Enneagram
9w1
Instinctual Variant
sp/so
A lot of this could be explained by being a 9 core IxFP rather than a 4 core. The way you express feelings could be linked to an instinctual variant (so dom? perhaps, or even a 2 fix rather than a 4 fix. You still sound like an FP thugh, at least from this
 

Red Memories

Haunted Echoes
Joined
Jun 3, 2017
Messages
6,315
MBTI Type
ESFP
Enneagram
215
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
I feel like Fe and Fi are very misunderstood things.

Fi and Fe are both capable of caring for other peope's needs and being empathetic. By your commentary, I could very much see you as a feeler of either kind.
Feeling relates more to "ethics", and how you go about them.

Fe needs an external source to review its ethics with. At a young age, if Fe isn't taught a solidly moral base, they may not *have* one. Fe is focused on grouping peace. It prefers to surround itself with like-minded people so little conflict arises. Fe may express its values to others, or not.

Fi is an internal source to review ethics. Fi can grow up without a solid moral base and still find a moral base. Fi is focused on individual peace, inner peace. Fi may surround itself with like and unlike minded people. Fi also may express its values to others, or not.
 

Yay

New member
Joined
May 30, 2017
Messages
122
MBTI Type
INFP
I feel like Fe and Fi are very misunderstood things.

Fi and Fe are both capable of caring for other peope's needs and being empathetic. By your commentary, I could very much see you as a feeler of either kind.
Feeling relates more to "ethics", and how you go about them.

Fe needs an external source to review its ethics with. At a young age, if Fe isn't taught a solidly moral base, they may not *have* one. Fe is focused on grouping peace. It prefers to surround itself with like-minded people so little conflict arises. Fe may express its values to others, or not.

Fi is an internal source to review ethics. Fi can grow up without a solid moral base and still find a moral base. Fi is focused on individual peace, inner peace. Fi may surround itself with like and unlike minded people. Fi also may express its values to others, or not.

Thank you~ Based off of this, I'd say I have more Fi as I'm not concerned with being around like-minded people as much.
 

Peter Deadpan

phallus impudicus
Joined
Dec 14, 2016
Messages
8,883
I have the opposite problem; I have been wondering lately if I am actually Fi-dom.

If you have accurately identified your tritype, then your feelings are completely normal and to be expected and will probably be somewhat of a lifelong experience for you. The 469 tritype, in any order, is known as "triple doubt." They naturally question everything and their life's mission is to better understand themselves and others. They are known as "The Seeker."

I also agree that your description sounds an awful lot like a typical INFJ, so perhaps that is worth looking into.
 

prplchknz

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 11, 2007
Messages
34,397
MBTI Type
yupp
yeah don't go by stereotypes if that were true i'd be a blubbering selfish idiot. which i'm not i'm an idiot sometimes and sometimes selfish but i'm fi dom and i care a lot for others. I'm not saying you are or are not Fi dom.No one's gonna match the description 100% unless they're trying to be that type then it's obvious that they're trying to fool us.
 

BlackCat

Shaman
Joined
Nov 19, 2008
Messages
7,038
MBTI Type
ESFP
Enneagram
9w8
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
From what you've described you sound like a 9w1 Fi dom. Fi doms simply have to have context to express their emotions, while Fe is more blanketed. I don't think it means you're less likely to express them. Maybe the people who think that have no had those kinds of experiences with IXFPs. ;)
 

Peter Deadpan

phallus impudicus
Joined
Dec 14, 2016
Messages
8,883
The emboldened in your OP is a misconception. I only recently feel like I have a good understanding of Fe vs Fi.
 

SearchingforPeace

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 9, 2015
Messages
5,711
MBTI Type
ENFJ
Enneagram
9w8
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
As a Fe dom married to a ISFP. Here is my thoughts on the topic.

Fi is often mischaracterized as having strong personal values and Fe has holding group values. Both are wrong.

Fi users, and especially Fi doms, do have a deep sense of feeling internally, whether they have explored it or not.

Fi users users see themselves as islands in the universe. They see themselves as separate from others. Fi doms tend to be stubborn, especially when things hit their values.

Fi doms use inferior Te to communicate. That means, per one know former member, it is often a huge struggle to articulated these feelings tho others, to explain the reasoning behind their decisions.

INFPs have Ne, so they can and often do contemplate on their feelings and thus develop Fi, allowing them to reach great insights into themselves and others. This is process requiring them to explore deep in their Fi space and can be a challenge.

ISFPs lack Ne and have tert Ni. They tend not to explore their Fi as much, but act according to their feelings in the moment. They also get locked into a narrow vision of the future, unlike INFPs. They are more able to act in the moment.

Both fall into grips with inferior Te. Naomi Quenk put forth this idea in her work, Was That Really Me?. She based this upon thousands of records she had access to from the Official MBTI folks, where she worked wiring their manuals.

All IXFPs in the grip act in a manner that is contrary to their normal natures. They become hypercritical and overbearing and appear like a very unhealthy ESTJ.

Fe doms live in Fe space. They are directly keyed into the emotional environment, connected to all. Unlike Fi doms, they are not self-referential in understanding the emotional state of others.

Fe doms in the grip become highly self critical. It appears as a deep depression.

A Fe dom may hold strong personal values or they may not. They can be accommodating of others, or they can just feel enough about others do that they understand how they can work with others, in spite of their differences.

ISFPs tend not to be able to understand others except to how they understand themselves.

For example, my wife can't relate unless she can consciously think how she would feel in the situation someone else is in.

My wife struggles to separate her own feelings and look at emotional situations objectively.

Fe doms struggle to even look at their own feelings in a situation in the abstract.

Fe doms tend to have an easier time talking with others, expressing emotion, or getting the feel of a group and understanding their place.

I believe a lot of confusion for INFJs in particular in typing relate to enneagram.

INFJs in the grip fall into inferior Se, meaning they indulge in life, shopping, eating, reckless sex and partying.
 

Mal12345

Permabanned
Joined
Apr 19, 2011
Messages
14,532
MBTI Type
IxTP
Enneagram
5w4
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
I typed as IXFP and certain traits suit me well , but I can relate to almost every type.

You said "almost" every type. Which types don't you relate to?
 

Yay

New member
Joined
May 30, 2017
Messages
122
MBTI Type
INFP
You said "almost" every type. Which types don't you relate to?

3,453 light years later sorry lol

Any SJ type such as ISFJ, ESTJ, ESFJ, OR ISTJ, I don't really value tradition, I suck at making realistic plans and implementing them (I moreso think of several different ideas for the future, but I don't dig any further into them)

Also, maybe of the descriptions I have read about SFJ types claim that they are concerned with fitting in , following the rules and things like that... I don't really see life as something so black and white, I don't like following rules generally I prefer to make my own rules, and If I do have to follow rules, I would like to be given a good reason why I should.. I also consider myself more of a "social wanderer" I don't "fit" into any group and I don't have any desire to. I just see people as individuals.
 

Pionart

Well-known member
Joined
Sep 17, 2014
Messages
4,039
MBTI Type
NiFe
Fi-doms are supposedly less outwardly expressive of their feelings through verbal communication

Hmm... don't think of it so much as about outward expression, think of it in terms of whether the feelings are external or internal, by which I mean

Are the expressions a sincere expression of how you are feeling inside, or are they based on contributing to the movement of the external situation?

- Fe types tend to be out of touch with how they themselves are feeling, but they are very aware of the emotional dynamics at play within the situation around them, and when their Fe is working correctly, they are displaying the feeling manifestations that would move the situation in the direction they desire (note, I say that they desire, but part of Fe is consideration on what the whole group wants or needs, so don't take that too literally)

- whereas Fi is very aware of their own inner feelings, and are less deliberate in their expressions, as they are by comparison less in tune with how they are affecting the emotional dynamics of the situation

However, both Fe and Fi types (generally) value both the internal and external manifestations of emotion, however to focus consciously on one necessarily means that the other becomes unconscious
 

Yay

New member
Joined
May 30, 2017
Messages
122
MBTI Type
INFP
Hmm... don't think of it so much as about outward expression, think of it in terms of whether the feelings are external or internal, by which I mean

Are the expressions a sincere expression of how you are feeling inside, or are they based on contributing to the movement of the external situation?

- Fe types tend to be out of touch with how they themselves are feeling, but they are very aware of the emotional dynamics at play within the situation around them, and when their Fe is working correctly, they are displaying the feeling manifestations that would move the situation in the direction they desire (note, I say that they desire, but part of Fe is consideration on what the whole group wants or needs, so don't take that too literally)

- whereas Fi is very aware of their own inner feelings, and are less deliberate in their expressions, as they are by comparison less in tune with how they are affecting the emotional dynamics of the situation

However, both Fe and Fi types (generally) value both the internal and external manifestations of emotion, however to focus consciously on one necessarily means that the other becomes unconscious

Thank you by the way- sorry I responded so late (again)

I try to stay aware of how people around me are feeling, and I would say that I am extremely aware of how I feel at all times, I usually analyze how the person I'm talking to acts...like I closely observe their behavior.. and then I change my social demeanor based upon their personal needs. Like I get a "feel" for the people i'm talking to at the time and I try to automatically blend in with them and use what social skills I do have to "win them over" . I think this is part of the reason I'm "easy-going"

At the same time, I don't refrain from my opinions to bring comfort/peace to a group. I think somethings need to be said, and it's better to be honest with people around you, just out of respect.

A lot of people think i'm extroverted, however I'm not sure if I am or not. When there is dead silence in a group or one on one, I quickly come up with conversation ideas. I feel like it's a responsibility to keep a conversation going, or be a "social engineer" I guess. I like acting weird or sporadic sometimes though because of the reactions I get. I would say that I definitely feel "different" from everyone else and that is naturally a mindset I acquire.. but it's not in a "superior" way, it actually can be quite depressing. People tell me it's a good thing but it makes me feel like not many can relate to me. I'm also cynical of everyone I meet at first- and i'm paranoid about the motive of other people. Often, to the point that it makes me jump to negative conclusions.Most people don't seem torn up over whether or not they are introverted are extroverted , or their dominant function, but I am, because I switch between being extremely social and not social at all so often. I think I look too deeply into people sometimes- and I try to pick them apart and analyze them, so we can become closer. Without them knowing.
I get energy from being alone and with people.. crowds intimidate me, but I don't know if that makes me introverted..
 

Yay

New member
Joined
May 30, 2017
Messages
122
MBTI Type
INFP
As a Fe dom married to a ISFP. Here is my thoughts on the topic.

Fi is often mischaracterized as having strong personal values and Fe has holding group values. Both are wrong.

Fi users, and especially Fi doms, do have a deep sense of feeling internally, whether they have explored it or not.

Fi users users see themselves as islands in the universe. They see themselves as separate from others. Fi doms tend to be stubborn, especially when things hit their values.

Fi doms use inferior Te to communicate. That means, per one know former member, it is often a huge struggle to articulated these feelings tho others, to explain the reasoning behind their decisions.

INFPs have Ne, so they can and often do contemplate on their feelings and thus develop Fi, allowing them to reach great insights into themselves and others. This is process requiring them to explore deep in their Fi space and can be a challenge.

ISFPs lack Ne and have tert Ni. They tend not to explore their Fi as much, but act according to their feelings in the moment. They also get locked into a narrow vision of the future, unlike INFPs. They are more able to act in the moment.

Both fall into grips with inferior Te. Naomi Quenk put forth this idea in her work, Was That Really Me?. She based this upon thousands of records she had access to from the Official MBTI folks, where she worked wiring their manuals.

All IXFPs in the grip act in a manner that is contrary to their normal natures. They become hypercritical and overbearing and appear like a very unhealthy ESTJ.

Fe doms live in Fe space. They are directly keyed into the emotional environment, connected to all. Unlike Fi doms, they are not self-referential in understanding the emotional state of others.

Fe doms in the grip become highly self critical. It appears as a deep depression.

A Fe dom may hold strong personal values or they may not. They can be accommodating of others, or they can just feel enough about others do that they understand how they can work with others, in spite of their differences.

ISFPs tend not to be able to understand others except to how they understand themselves.

For example, my wife can't relate unless she can consciously think how she would feel in the situation someone else is in.

My wife struggles to separate her own feelings and look at emotional situations objectively.

Fe doms struggle to even look at their own feelings in a situation in the abstract.

Fe doms tend to have an easier time talking with others, expressing emotion, or getting the feel of a group and understanding their place.

I believe a lot of confusion for INFJs in particular in typing relate to enneagram.

INFJs in the grip fall into inferior Se, meaning they indulge in life, shopping, eating, reckless sex and partying.

I enjoy partying because I feel as if i'm living freely- not really big on reckless sex because I get attached to people quickly even when I try not to.
 

Metis

New member
Joined
May 2, 2008
Messages
2,534
One of the most important things to me is honesty, it's one of my values (Is that Fi? )

I don't think valuing honesty suggests anything about Fi-dominance. I think it's a good value to have, though.

I typed as IXFP and certain traits suit me well , but I can relate to almost every type.

I think you're an INFP, but that's my best guess.

both Fe and Fi types (generally) value both the internal and external manifestations of emotion, however to focus consciously on one necessarily means that the other becomes unconscious

I disagree with the bolded statement. I think you can be conscious of both your internal emotions and the external way that you manifest them and negotiate with others' emotions, and also of how you're affecting, and being affected by, the general "vibe" in a situation. I'm not saying it isn't a skill, or that anyone can do it with the same level of facility. I think people who work at it can do it, though. Especially if they already use F consciously almost all the time, in either E/I orientation, because then focusing on the opposite one would develop that one, while the one more natural to them would still be more or less conscious. Then you have a great, dynamic combo of function orientations to work with, and your use of them will be that much more effective, all around.

I think it's possible to do the same with Ti & Te, with focus and practice.

I think I look too deeply into people sometimes- and I try to pick them apart and analyze them, so we can become closer. Without them knowing.

LOL That sounds weird, but I think I know what you mean. If I like someone or find them interesting, I like to speculate about how their mind works, too.

:)
 

Yay

New member
Joined
May 30, 2017
Messages
122
MBTI Type
INFP
I don't think valuing honesty suggests anything about Fi-dominance. I think it's a good value to have, though.



I think you're an INFP, but that's my best guess.



I disagree with the bolded statement. I think you can be conscious of both your internal emotions and the external way that you manifest them and negotiate with others' emotions, and also of how you're affecting, and being affected by, the general "vibe" in a situation. I'm not saying it isn't a skill, or that anyone can do it with the same level of facility. I think people who work at it can do it, though. Especially if they already use F consciously almost all the time, in either E/I orientation, because then focusing on the opposite one would develop that one, while the one more natural to them would still be more or less conscious. Then you have a great, dynamic combo of function orientations to work with, and your use of them will be that much more effective, all around.

I think it's possible to do the same with Ti & Te, with focus and practice.



LOL That sounds weird, but I think I know what you mean. If I like someone or find them interesting, I like to speculate about how their mind works, too.

:)

I have a special talent for eating excessive amounts of doughnuts at a time and making things sound weird :D
 
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