Norrsken
self murderer
- Joined
- Nov 27, 2015
- Messages
- 3,633
- MBTI Type
- ENFJ
- Instinctual Variant
- sx/so
Enneagram Tritype Questionnaire
1. What drives you in life? What do you look for?
I think, overall, I look for significance. It's vague and difficult to put into words, but I do think love is a driving force in my life. Not just in a romantic sense, but platonically as well. I seek to belong to someone, and to the right companions who sees me as the wonderful individual I am despite any flaws or shortcomings I have. I'm quite sensitive to my own weak spots, actually. I wish I can be like other people.
2. What do you hope to accomplish in your life?
Finding my own voice. Through writing or to create something that I can then put it out there for the world to see.
3. What do you hope to avoid doing or being? What values are important to you?
I hope to avoid being all alone and unloved. My values are hard to pinpoint, as they do change the older I become and the more I experience out of life, but one thing that remains consistence is me standing up and protecting/loving the forgotten ones. The underdogs.
4. What are your biggest fears (not including phobias)? Why?
Ending up alone and forgotten, or hated and never having someone to be there for me in all sense. Because even though I thrive in solitude and always need my time and space to decompress and such, I also do not enjoy knowing that I have no one to turn to when times get hard for me, emotionally.
5. How do you want others to see you? How do you see yourself?
I want others to see me as a breath of fresh air. I want to be seen as positive and light and sweetness though the offline me is more somber and surprisingly muted than what you may expect. I see myself as complicated.. never as one thing. Transcendent.
6. What makes you feel your best? What makes you feel your worst?
When I make a difference in someone else's life. When I am misunderstood or feel like someone else is going to take the things or person I love the most because they're 'better' than me. (And arguably, they may very well be better than me and that scares me.)
7. Describe how you experience each of: a) anger; b) shame; c) anxiety.
a) I get physical. First I get quiet and simmer inside of me until it boils and I either hit something or myself. I used to self harm but thankfully that's no longer the case.
b) I lock myself away from the world. I get embarrassed and refuse to face others.
c) I fiddly with my ears or bite the skin from the sides of my nails off. My heart beats faster and I try to soothe these weird mild panic attacks I get inside of me.
8. Describe how you respond to each of: a) stress; b) unexpected change; c) conflict.
a) I try to find a place, either literally or metaphorically, to be alone and to find my inner equilibrium to balance it. I like to just lock my door, put on headphones, and put on something very relaxing like nature sounds to zone out.
b) Depends, if it's worse than what was planned I just get annoyed but try to get over it, if it's better then I become even more relaxed and happy.
c) Very difficult for me in general. Sometimes I snap and face it head on, but it's not like I've ever been in a crazy fist fight before or anything.
9. Describe your orientation to: a) authority; b) power. How do you respond to these?
a) I mean, I respect it, but I don't get a hard on over it. It's just.. there.
b) I like it, in a strange sense that if I have enough power, I can use it for the right things. Like to make things right.
10. What is your overall outlook on life and humanity?
I think it is as every bit of complicated as it is beautiful. There is so much pain in this world and in people but I do believe that we all try our best to get through each day, even when our best isn't what society dictates as the best or the correct way to do it. In fact, there really is no one correct way to do it. Everybody is different, I especially am very different from many people, and for that, I'm happy. But we also must celebrate our similarities and to find the humanness in each other us to get along and to help each other when one of us tramples down and can't get up. There's more but it's too long to get into it, and it's starting to trigger something inside of me, and I don't like it.
11. Discuss an event that has impacted your life significantly; more importantly, how you responded to it.
Traveling internationally for the first time. I was treated badly because I am an American and many countries look down on me and my home country with heavy disdain. To this day, I still feel like I sometimes get ignored or have my foreign spouse's friends or family members treat me like I'm stupid or weird because I'm not worldly or sophisticated like they are. I reacted and still do react to it very badly, honestly. I wish they can just see me as who I am and not for the label on my passport. Judge me for the content of my character; everything else is just dumb to focus on.
12. Comment on your relationship with trust.
I can make others trust me easily but I cannot trust them just as easily. At least, not anymore. I used to trust others very easily, but now I'm much more cautious and slow with it.
13. List some of the traits you: a) like; b) dislike most about yourself.
a) My inner strength to get me through even the most hardest moments in my life. How my heart never hardened completely despite the bad events. How I never give up on helping others even when it's hard sometimes.
b) I still feel like an alien in a room full of people.
14. What do you see or notice in others that most people don't?
Their unspoken intentions.
15. If a stranger insults you, how do you respond/feel? What if they compliment you?
I hardly don't care if a stranger insults me or behaves rudely towards me. I'll never see them again, really. My heart does grow weak when they give me a genuine compliment, though!
16. What's something you are: a) thankful you have; b) wish you could have? Why?
a) The family and friends that I do have who love and care for me deeply. My health. I'm not that bad looking, though I wish certain things would be better.
b) I wish I could look better or at least differently than how I appear now. I wish I had way more social charisma in an offline setting like I do in the online world.
Instinctual Variant Questionnaire
Self-Preservation (Need to protect and preserve)
1. Do you tend to save money and are cautious about spending it?
When I had a job and my own money, I would flip flop between me loving to spend a lot of it and then I would suddenly penny pinch and try to save as much of it as possible. I'm still trying to find the right balance, but I do hope to one day find it. I love sales and coupons and finding out secrets on how to save money.
2. Are you security oriented? Ready to protect yourself, those close to you and your resources?
I'm security oriented only in a vague sense. I protect my relationships and from losing them more so than physical resources, though I do get highly upset if I lose a personal belonging or if I feel like I'm in danger.
3. Are you fairly consistent? Like things known and regular? No big changes?
I don't care. As long as it's safe, new changes are cool.
4. Do you dislike taking big risks unless it's a "sure" thing?
Yes.
5. Are you fairly private? Not revealing too much to strangers?
I'm very friendly with strangers and what not but I have learned to put my intensity away and learn how to do the "slow to a boil" approach instead. So much more boring but whatever.
6. Do you tend to be introverted?
Yes. I live inside my head and need my alone time to recharge. I think before I speak and act. Extended social activities drain me even if they are fun.
7. Do you understand money? Securities? Investments?
Yawn.
8. Do you tend to plan for the future? Ready for emergencies?
I'm always thinking about the future. I live in the future, as some would say. I try to prepare for what may come, and don't like to just "wing it".
9. Are you concerned about health? Safety? Comfort? Home? Hearth?
I love to talk about health and nutrition as well as studying the subjects and how it relates to my life. Safety is a big factor, even if I ruin other people's good times, better safe than sorry. I can be clumsy and have come close to getting hit by cars many a times, strangely enough. Comfort, well, I don't notice subtle temperature changes or textures as easily as other people do, but sure, I like being comfortable. Home is an interesting concept to me and I hope to create me own someday. Um, yeah, hearths are cool af, lmao.
10. Are you worried about what may go wrong? Tend to imagine worse case scenarios?
I worry about what may become dangerous more so than wrong. Like my husband would freak out about the details of a vacation but meanwhile I'm going OKAY BUT WE ARE BEING FOLLOWED AND WE NEED TO GTFO.
11. Do you like things spelled out? Details? Exact information? Guarantees?
Yes, especially when it comes to important things like medical details, business deals, things dealing with my hard earned money, and so on.
12. In relationships do you take care of others financially?
I don't mind paying the bills and I don't mind buying other people nice gifts or treats. I take care of others either with emotional and verbal support or by acts of service, really. I love to cook and serving people my grub.
Social (Need for Social Validation)
1. Do you need or really like social validation?
Yes!
2. Is social image important to you?
Not really, weirdly enough. I just want to be seen as valuable in the sense that I can retain my deep and personal relationships.
3. Do you have desires/fantasies of being rewarded in a social or public arena?
Nope.
4. Do you think about your affect on others, groups, organizations, and the world?
Yes to the others and groups, no for the organizations and the world.
5. Is it very important to you to look good in public, groups, work, and the world? Is name recognition important, either yours or others?
No.
6. Are you upset if you don't get enough validation, reward for the hard and creative work you do in a social context or for a social cause?
Oh God, yes. Please love me.
7. Are you involved in groups, organizations and team oriented activities?
Fuck no, never have, never will.
aintnobodygottimeforthat
8. Is belonging to special groups or being a leader of a group important to you?
Lmao. I switch the leader thing with two close friends right now and it's fun but I hardly find it important. It does boost my self esteem a bit, I won't lie.
9. Are you strongly upset if you feel not included or rejected by a group or family or not invited to a social event?
Extremely so, yes. I'm very sensitive to this.
10. Do you make your money through your association with groups affecting a large number of people?
No.
11. Do you get really upset if you make a social faux pas? Do you think about and plan out how you will be or present yourself in public?
Absolutely, sometimes I can laugh it off though.
12. Are you the social instigator and connector in your family?
Honestly? No.
Relationship (Need for 1 to 1 or Relationship Closeness)
1. Do you define yourself through a romantic or close partnership? Is closeness with another person of paramount importance?
Oh fuck yes, this is 100% me.
2. Do you like intense energy, particularly in relating to people? Are you energized when you have a revealing conversation or engagement with another, particularly a special other?
Yes! It's easy for me to become obsessed when I find a rare connection.
3. Do you tend to focus more attention on close relationships than money?
Hell yeah.
4. Does money relate to how a partner will see you more than security for yourself?
I relate it to both, honestly.
5. Are money and resources less for self and more to please an intimate other?
I'm quite balanced with this one. I spend it on myself and for the other person.
6. Does your attention go more to how well you relate to a partner or potential partner than to other concerns?
I'd say it's my central concern in my entire world, really. I'm an intense lover, I think.
7. Would others describe you as dramatic? Do you like to go deep with things?
Yes..
/blush
8. Do you tend to be in the moment and not think as much about the future or your future security?
Nope. Never.
9. Do you have an urge to merge? Do you "lose yourself" with an important other at times?
Yes. It has gotten me into trouble before.
10. Do you like risk taking? New experiences? Tend to get bored without enough stimulation particularly in the area of relationships?
Not really.
11. Are you focused more on connection with another and forget your own priorities?
Yes. I can sometimes forget to eat or sleep if I'm super in love with them.
12. Do you focus a lot on sexuality, romantic fantasies or mystical spiritual experiences?
Yes to all. I'd say my heart's ten times its average size to the next person, really!
1. What drives you in life? What do you look for?
I think, overall, I look for significance. It's vague and difficult to put into words, but I do think love is a driving force in my life. Not just in a romantic sense, but platonically as well. I seek to belong to someone, and to the right companions who sees me as the wonderful individual I am despite any flaws or shortcomings I have. I'm quite sensitive to my own weak spots, actually. I wish I can be like other people.
2. What do you hope to accomplish in your life?
Finding my own voice. Through writing or to create something that I can then put it out there for the world to see.
3. What do you hope to avoid doing or being? What values are important to you?
I hope to avoid being all alone and unloved. My values are hard to pinpoint, as they do change the older I become and the more I experience out of life, but one thing that remains consistence is me standing up and protecting/loving the forgotten ones. The underdogs.
4. What are your biggest fears (not including phobias)? Why?
Ending up alone and forgotten, or hated and never having someone to be there for me in all sense. Because even though I thrive in solitude and always need my time and space to decompress and such, I also do not enjoy knowing that I have no one to turn to when times get hard for me, emotionally.
5. How do you want others to see you? How do you see yourself?
I want others to see me as a breath of fresh air. I want to be seen as positive and light and sweetness though the offline me is more somber and surprisingly muted than what you may expect. I see myself as complicated.. never as one thing. Transcendent.
6. What makes you feel your best? What makes you feel your worst?
When I make a difference in someone else's life. When I am misunderstood or feel like someone else is going to take the things or person I love the most because they're 'better' than me. (And arguably, they may very well be better than me and that scares me.)
7. Describe how you experience each of: a) anger; b) shame; c) anxiety.
a) I get physical. First I get quiet and simmer inside of me until it boils and I either hit something or myself. I used to self harm but thankfully that's no longer the case.
b) I lock myself away from the world. I get embarrassed and refuse to face others.
c) I fiddly with my ears or bite the skin from the sides of my nails off. My heart beats faster and I try to soothe these weird mild panic attacks I get inside of me.
8. Describe how you respond to each of: a) stress; b) unexpected change; c) conflict.
a) I try to find a place, either literally or metaphorically, to be alone and to find my inner equilibrium to balance it. I like to just lock my door, put on headphones, and put on something very relaxing like nature sounds to zone out.
b) Depends, if it's worse than what was planned I just get annoyed but try to get over it, if it's better then I become even more relaxed and happy.
c) Very difficult for me in general. Sometimes I snap and face it head on, but it's not like I've ever been in a crazy fist fight before or anything.
9. Describe your orientation to: a) authority; b) power. How do you respond to these?
a) I mean, I respect it, but I don't get a hard on over it. It's just.. there.
b) I like it, in a strange sense that if I have enough power, I can use it for the right things. Like to make things right.
10. What is your overall outlook on life and humanity?
I think it is as every bit of complicated as it is beautiful. There is so much pain in this world and in people but I do believe that we all try our best to get through each day, even when our best isn't what society dictates as the best or the correct way to do it. In fact, there really is no one correct way to do it. Everybody is different, I especially am very different from many people, and for that, I'm happy. But we also must celebrate our similarities and to find the humanness in each other us to get along and to help each other when one of us tramples down and can't get up. There's more but it's too long to get into it, and it's starting to trigger something inside of me, and I don't like it.
11. Discuss an event that has impacted your life significantly; more importantly, how you responded to it.
Traveling internationally for the first time. I was treated badly because I am an American and many countries look down on me and my home country with heavy disdain. To this day, I still feel like I sometimes get ignored or have my foreign spouse's friends or family members treat me like I'm stupid or weird because I'm not worldly or sophisticated like they are. I reacted and still do react to it very badly, honestly. I wish they can just see me as who I am and not for the label on my passport. Judge me for the content of my character; everything else is just dumb to focus on.
12. Comment on your relationship with trust.
I can make others trust me easily but I cannot trust them just as easily. At least, not anymore. I used to trust others very easily, but now I'm much more cautious and slow with it.
13. List some of the traits you: a) like; b) dislike most about yourself.
a) My inner strength to get me through even the most hardest moments in my life. How my heart never hardened completely despite the bad events. How I never give up on helping others even when it's hard sometimes.
b) I still feel like an alien in a room full of people.
14. What do you see or notice in others that most people don't?
Their unspoken intentions.
15. If a stranger insults you, how do you respond/feel? What if they compliment you?
I hardly don't care if a stranger insults me or behaves rudely towards me. I'll never see them again, really. My heart does grow weak when they give me a genuine compliment, though!
16. What's something you are: a) thankful you have; b) wish you could have? Why?
a) The family and friends that I do have who love and care for me deeply. My health. I'm not that bad looking, though I wish certain things would be better.
b) I wish I could look better or at least differently than how I appear now. I wish I had way more social charisma in an offline setting like I do in the online world.
Instinctual Variant Questionnaire
Self-Preservation (Need to protect and preserve)
1. Do you tend to save money and are cautious about spending it?
When I had a job and my own money, I would flip flop between me loving to spend a lot of it and then I would suddenly penny pinch and try to save as much of it as possible. I'm still trying to find the right balance, but I do hope to one day find it. I love sales and coupons and finding out secrets on how to save money.
2. Are you security oriented? Ready to protect yourself, those close to you and your resources?
I'm security oriented only in a vague sense. I protect my relationships and from losing them more so than physical resources, though I do get highly upset if I lose a personal belonging or if I feel like I'm in danger.
3. Are you fairly consistent? Like things known and regular? No big changes?
I don't care. As long as it's safe, new changes are cool.
4. Do you dislike taking big risks unless it's a "sure" thing?
Yes.
5. Are you fairly private? Not revealing too much to strangers?
I'm very friendly with strangers and what not but I have learned to put my intensity away and learn how to do the "slow to a boil" approach instead. So much more boring but whatever.
6. Do you tend to be introverted?
Yes. I live inside my head and need my alone time to recharge. I think before I speak and act. Extended social activities drain me even if they are fun.
7. Do you understand money? Securities? Investments?
Yawn.
8. Do you tend to plan for the future? Ready for emergencies?
I'm always thinking about the future. I live in the future, as some would say. I try to prepare for what may come, and don't like to just "wing it".
9. Are you concerned about health? Safety? Comfort? Home? Hearth?
I love to talk about health and nutrition as well as studying the subjects and how it relates to my life. Safety is a big factor, even if I ruin other people's good times, better safe than sorry. I can be clumsy and have come close to getting hit by cars many a times, strangely enough. Comfort, well, I don't notice subtle temperature changes or textures as easily as other people do, but sure, I like being comfortable. Home is an interesting concept to me and I hope to create me own someday. Um, yeah, hearths are cool af, lmao.
10. Are you worried about what may go wrong? Tend to imagine worse case scenarios?
I worry about what may become dangerous more so than wrong. Like my husband would freak out about the details of a vacation but meanwhile I'm going OKAY BUT WE ARE BEING FOLLOWED AND WE NEED TO GTFO.
11. Do you like things spelled out? Details? Exact information? Guarantees?
Yes, especially when it comes to important things like medical details, business deals, things dealing with my hard earned money, and so on.
12. In relationships do you take care of others financially?
I don't mind paying the bills and I don't mind buying other people nice gifts or treats. I take care of others either with emotional and verbal support or by acts of service, really. I love to cook and serving people my grub.
Social (Need for Social Validation)
1. Do you need or really like social validation?
Yes!
2. Is social image important to you?
Not really, weirdly enough. I just want to be seen as valuable in the sense that I can retain my deep and personal relationships.
3. Do you have desires/fantasies of being rewarded in a social or public arena?
Nope.
4. Do you think about your affect on others, groups, organizations, and the world?
Yes to the others and groups, no for the organizations and the world.
5. Is it very important to you to look good in public, groups, work, and the world? Is name recognition important, either yours or others?
No.
6. Are you upset if you don't get enough validation, reward for the hard and creative work you do in a social context or for a social cause?
Oh God, yes. Please love me.
7. Are you involved in groups, organizations and team oriented activities?
Fuck no, never have, never will.
aintnobodygottimeforthat
8. Is belonging to special groups or being a leader of a group important to you?
Lmao. I switch the leader thing with two close friends right now and it's fun but I hardly find it important. It does boost my self esteem a bit, I won't lie.
9. Are you strongly upset if you feel not included or rejected by a group or family or not invited to a social event?
Extremely so, yes. I'm very sensitive to this.
10. Do you make your money through your association with groups affecting a large number of people?
No.
11. Do you get really upset if you make a social faux pas? Do you think about and plan out how you will be or present yourself in public?
Absolutely, sometimes I can laugh it off though.
12. Are you the social instigator and connector in your family?
Honestly? No.
Relationship (Need for 1 to 1 or Relationship Closeness)
1. Do you define yourself through a romantic or close partnership? Is closeness with another person of paramount importance?
Oh fuck yes, this is 100% me.
2. Do you like intense energy, particularly in relating to people? Are you energized when you have a revealing conversation or engagement with another, particularly a special other?
Yes! It's easy for me to become obsessed when I find a rare connection.
3. Do you tend to focus more attention on close relationships than money?
Hell yeah.
4. Does money relate to how a partner will see you more than security for yourself?
I relate it to both, honestly.
5. Are money and resources less for self and more to please an intimate other?
I'm quite balanced with this one. I spend it on myself and for the other person.
6. Does your attention go more to how well you relate to a partner or potential partner than to other concerns?
I'd say it's my central concern in my entire world, really. I'm an intense lover, I think.
7. Would others describe you as dramatic? Do you like to go deep with things?
Yes..
/blush
8. Do you tend to be in the moment and not think as much about the future or your future security?
Nope. Never.
9. Do you have an urge to merge? Do you "lose yourself" with an important other at times?
Yes. It has gotten me into trouble before.
10. Do you like risk taking? New experiences? Tend to get bored without enough stimulation particularly in the area of relationships?
Not really.
11. Are you focused more on connection with another and forget your own priorities?
Yes. I can sometimes forget to eat or sleep if I'm super in love with them.
12. Do you focus a lot on sexuality, romantic fantasies or mystical spiritual experiences?
Yes to all. I'd say my heart's ten times its average size to the next person, really!
