Help with tritype, please?

[Ayuhime]

Hello... I had a thread here when I was more certain of my tritype and later on asking about my head fix, but since a lot of my thoughts changed by now regarding myself and other stuff, I wanted to make a fresh thread for this? I am mostly certain of sp/so by now, as well as having 9-core (whenever I get really unhealthy, I start to isolate myself more than usual and just act pretty much like... someone who is dead while still being alive/narcotizing myself by meaningless things)

For head-fix, 6 seems most likely now, while I considered 5 being likely before as Ti-dom/Ti-base both fits rather well at first. But I am never as certain of my own thoughts (In fact, I doubt them as much as I doubt others', seeing everyone's reasonings distorted from what actually happens this was or another including my own) and I am not sure if fixes having wings actually makes sense? If we don't add wing stuff for fixes, 6 seems most likely, I think?

For heart-fix, this is the one I am most confused with since I saw different descriptions of sp 2 and the one with "wants to just loved for being themselves and acts childlike to draw love" description feels rather fitting for me? I considered sp 4 but despite liking some more depressing fictional series, I really don't have as much of a consistent sense of being "flawed". (I do feel like there is something wrong consistently, but not in exactly I am flawed way?) I also don't think I have any 3-fix as I am farthest from being good at chasing any success, in fact I often end up destroying any chance I have to be better because I don't feel like I deserve or want it (while it is actually more of a fear of success/fear of what would I do if I actually try and fail?)

I am not sure what else to add or say, so I would welcome any questions leading to clearer answers?

 

[Ashtart]

What do you think of 954? Seem a good fit based on your description.

 

[Ayuhime]

What do you think of 954? Seem a good fit based on your description.

That was first tritype I considered, from what I recall? I often would test as either 9 or 5, with no other type ever being stronger than those two at any given time, as well as had many people on any enneagram group type me as more likely to be a 4 or 5 than 9 at times. I am not sure if my views or thoughts/emotions are as removed from others, though. I really don't like being effected by other people's influence but in the end, someone else pointing even slightest thing can also make me doubt most things if I haven't spent long enough time thinking about said thing and sometimes even then?

I suppose I simply try to do whatever I want and be as honest as possible, just to not hurt others if I can and spend my time doing my own thing? (Also gushing about it to friends, haha.) I do have a consistent self-questioning attitude, ever since a young age though, not certain where that would fit with enneagram. (Ie. "Why do I do this? Why do I think this? Is it right? Why it would be right? Why it would be wrong? Would my actions be labeled/considered as X? Am I an X type of person? Or Y type of person?")

 

[Ashtart]

That was first tritype I considered, from what I recall? I often would test as either 9 or 5, with no other type ever being stronger than those two at any given time, as well as had many people on any enneagram group type me as more likely to be a 4 or 5 than 9 at times. I am not sure if my views or thoughts/emotions are as removed from others, though. I really don't like being effected by other people's influence but in the end, someone else pointing even slightest thing can also make me doubt most things if I haven't spent long enough time thinking about said thing and sometimes even then?

I suppose I simply try to do whatever I want and be as honest as possible, just to not hurt others if I can and spend my time doing my own thing? (Also gushing about it to friends, haha.) I do have a consistent self-questioning attitude, ever since a young age though, not certain where that would fit with enneagram. (Ie. "Why do I do this? Why do I think this? Is it right? Why it would be right? Why it would be wrong? Would my actions be labeled/considered as X? Am I an X type of person? Or Y type of person?")

I have a close friend who is 954 and your description matches her a lot. But what catches my attention is the fact that you are an INTP and LII. How confident are you about being a Thinker type?

 

[Ayuhime]

I have a close friend who is 954 and your description matches her a lot. But what catches my attention is the fact that you are an INTP and LII. How confident are you about being a Thinker type?

Hmmm... I would say fairly? I am rather bad at using Fe or Fi in both systems, regardless of how they are defined. For MBTI Fi/Fe, I am never as aware of how I feel nor have the ability and will to read how others feel. It never interested me what other people are up to and it took me years to realize I never really ask personal questions to people like if they even have a sibling. (...In fact, I just realized I still don't know if a girl I talk fairly regularly for years has a sibling. I think she mentioned that kind of thing a few times, but never an actual question that naturally pops into my mind?) I never know how to define myself, either. I pick up labels that fits most with how I act and think but feelings are often "??????" incomprehensible to me? I can figure out people's motivations from cause-effect but emotions themselves stump me pretty bad.

For Socionics Fe/Fi, I don't have an actual awareness of just how close I am to other people for most part (I am still "????" at psychological distance part of Fi descriptions there, as it all sounds pretty vague and I can only sort of get that theoretically?) nor again, an active interest or ability to make the atmosphere jolly. I really enjoy things going smoothly with everyone being accepting, warm and happy but do I suck at actually even attempting to make that atmosphere come true. Only reason I don't feel as inadequate about this in my daily life is because I have an ISTP mother who sucks at Fe too anyway and we both feel comfortable enough around each other to get childish low Fe-elsy.

At most I can see ENTP and ILE being possible but EP temperament still feels off to me, just like IJ temperament of MBTI and Ip temperament of Socionics. I am rather good at categorizing things in proper boxes in my mind, I am only ever stumped as badly when it comes to myself, since quickly it gets all "???????? ?????????????????" self doubt and endless circle of questioning inside.