OK... Before I start answering questions I would like to share two informations with you, guys. I am 35 years old and I think that it is hard to type person in my age cause most of the functions may be developed (that is just my subjective opinion or maybe I just explain my indolence in that matter?
) Second thing is I am not native English speaker so I apologize for some funny mistakes I will probably make. Ok, let's start
1) What is something that you dislike? What bothers you about it and why?
I dislike when someone is giving me advices or criticize me. I think people are free species and they should have a choice which they make by their own (ofc I'm not saying about the cases where f.e. someone is going to commit crime; if you doing good and you don't want to harm others, just let it yourself and others be).
I also dislike disloyalty. I am veeeery loyal to my family and friends and sometimes I feel harmed that some of these ppl are not so loyal. I mean if you are my friend - you can count on me. Like always. When I was younger I was trying to repair relationships even if someone disappointed me. Nowadays I am more keen to cross this person from my life, kick him/her out and forget.
I dislike stupidy. I seriously cannot stand it. My anger at stupidity is very visible.
I dislike memories when I hurt someone. I can think a lot about it, like over and over again. And I regret it. The thing I cannot make anything now to repair it makes me so fucked up sometimes. I hate this feeling.
I dislike routine but I also dislike sudden change. I am somewhere in between.
I dislike speaking about uninteresting stuff. I mean, Ok I can understand that we can talk about weather a bit but then please, let's have nice conversation about stars (and I'm not talking about celebrities now
)
I dislike when there is stagnancy in my life. I like when something is going on. And after that I like to rest in quiet, tranquil atmosphere with books, movies, favourite youtubers etc.
I dislike being misunderstood. And I feel like that many times. Like I am an alien. I really don't have these intentions that I am sometimes accused of.
I dislike me being bad to someone. I can be very mean. Sometimes I don't even think what I am saying. The words are just there. Hate it.
I dislike being lazy. Few years ago - I was like master procrastinator.
Now I am more driven to do stuff. More - the better. I think since I became mother I really started to know how to organize my time. And I see the point in life (and it is not only motherhood). My daughter gave me strength to do things (f.e. I started my dream psychology studies lately
).
This list may go on and on and on but I don't want you to fall asleep or drown in negativity
2) Was there any time that you behaved in a manner that was atypical of yourself? If so describe this?
I was. I was like sared of my own shadow. It happened few times actually. One time it was when I was growing up (15 years old) - I suddenly became quiet, shy girl. Many bad things happened to my family that time but it was something more I think.
Other time was when I broke up with my big love (22 y.o.). I think I was depressed that time. I was planning suicide even but I gave up this idea.
When I was finishing studies (around 25 y.o.) and I started very toxic relationship. I felt numb most of the time. I became really closed, very much into music (listening) and living basically in my head. I didn't know what to do in my life, I was spending too much time on internet... Now, when I'm thinking of this time, it was kind of magic. Dark magic, but still...
I also went abroad and I was living there like 8 years...
Last time I felt really depressed it was when I came back to my country after living abroad. I had to attend therapy as I couldn't deal with the new/old reality. I was missing old places, friends etc. I couldn't find myself in the new reality. I got paranoid and almost broke up my relationship with my partner and father of my child. I was also feeling that my family is not happy with me and I wanted to be accepted by my parents, I thought I disappointed them as I am not like them (it was before I got a child and had family). I was never good enough. Very dark times.
3) What are some of the negative behaviors you exhibit when under a large amount of stress? How do you counter this?
I can be really pain in the ass. I just see the things I have to do. The world around me doesn't exist just this thing that I am obligated to finish. Few weeks ago there was a great example of that: I was passing my exams. I was stressed af. All the things that weren't planned (i.e. my partner couldn't tae care of our child as we planned so I could study like 2 hrs) - I was freaking out. I am like fixated on these exams - thanks God I've passed them
There is this warrior inside me and I just have to fight - that is what I visualize when I'm dealing with stressful situation.
Also: if I start dealing with things straight away - I am satisfied more. When there is a deadline like tomorrow and I have nothing - I'm drowning in the details... But I stay awake late at night until I finish this shit.
4) What people do you like to be around and why? What type of people do you tend to avoid and why?
I like many kinds of ppl. My favourite ones are those who can share with me their knowledge on some topic. The topics may be very various: psychology, philosophy, spirituality, science, news, some interesting fact about every day life etc. I'm really attracted to intelligent ppl.
Also sense of humour is important to me: the dark one, the sarcastic, situation one ... I like to laugh. Sometimes I laugh at stupid things also.
I like the ppl with passion. I really admire ppl who know what to do in life and they are good at things, they have skills. I like professionals.
My friends are different ppl, I don't mix them with each other usually
I can talk with them about literally anything but I noticed I was much more opened when I was younger. I like to listen to ppl (if they saying interesting stuff).
I like the ppl who are not angry when I disappear sometimes. They don't push me to contact... I lie it when we can talk easily, eventhough we didn't talk for ages.
I like ppl who inspires me, who have original ideas.
I like rebels also (but in some frames, having some borders
).
I like cheerful ppl.
I like calm ppl cause I have a hope their calmness will infect me
5) What sort of people do you admire/aspire to be like and why? Real life examples are welcome.
As I wish to become writer one day I mostly admire writers. I like to watch interviews with them and read articles about their lives. One of my favourite writer is Gabriel Garcia Marquez - father of magic realism - my beloved genre of literature.
I admire ppl who achieved their goals. I am curious how they did it. I like to read about their way to success.
I admire calm ppl. I wish to be like that. I wish to be calm... I think was much more calm when I was younger.
I like strong women. I am really attracted to them. Their charisma is something so amusing and nice. I don't know why but to my head just came Meryl Streep. So let it be: Meryl Streep I admire
6) Describe semi-descriptively why/why you don't relate to each of the cognitive functions (optional)
I will try... I also can describe dichotomies if you don't mind. And please, my understanding of cognitive functions may still be shallow... Or I may misunderstood them. Let's see.
Fe:
why yes - I can influence mood around me. I'm coming somewhere and if I am in good mood - the party is also good, if bad... Well.
why no - I'm not really into harmony when there is something going on. I can't shut up and swallow bullshit just because we have to be nice to eah other. Fuck no.
Fi:
why yes - I have my own morals. I'm into ethics very much. I can like or dislike something just because of my subjective feeling.
why no - I can be too fiery with my emotions (almost like in Brasilian dramas
). I hide some of them but mostly you can see how I feel today.
Te:
why yes - I like organization? I like to put my thoughts in kind of order? It is hard to explain. I am reasonable.
why not - I can be very chaotic in speech which already contradicted previous statement.
Ti:
why yes - I think I have my own logic and sometimes it is really hard to explain my way of thinking. For me T functions are the hardest to describe.
why not - ?
Se:
why yes - I love aesthetics as I already wrote in my previous post. But: it may be influence of my mum who loves to wear nice clothes and have really good taste (home decorating etc.). I'm wondering if I would develope my style if I had different mum
I enjoy nature very much. I like exercising (especially now. When I was young - I hated gym classes at school especially team playing arghhh).
why not - I can be really clumsy. I don't really live in the present time. I rather live in the future or past. I can eat the same stuff all the time. I enjoy nature but I daydream there. With the headphones in my ears and plenty thoughts in my mind...
Si:
why yes - I can be very sentimental at times. I don't show it but many things make me like this. I can watch the same movies, listening music from few years ago and trying to feel same way as I felt that time... When I listening to music from my older times memories coming back to me and I can watch them as movie. // I notice details. I can notice little spot at the table and things which "changed" their place.
why not - I like to live in the future. I also dislike when someone is saying the story with unimportant details. I want them to hurry up and get to the point asap. I want to know the clue and general picture first and then go into details.
Ne:
why yes - I'm having many ideas passing my head every day. Sometimes this is tiring though. I jump from topic to topic sometimes. But I did it more as young person.
why not - I don't like when someone is jumping from one idea to another... I like to dig into ideas. Ask questions. Go deeper.
Ni:
why yes - my strange "hunches", visions of future... In metaphoric way. Very vivid dreams. My daydreaming.
why not - I have plenty ideas per minute sometimes. I create endless possibilities in my head... One idea after another.
Dichotomies:
E:
why yes - I can be very talkative, sometimes I have the feeling I'm getting thought while I'm speaking. I am energized by ppl but only the ones who I feel good with. I'm not open to everyone.
why not - I need a lot time for myself. To think of the stuff, to be in my head... To rest.
I:
why yes - I like to be in my head. I don't mind when there are no plans with ppl for a while. I like silence around me. I like to go into my hobbies, getting new informations, searching interesting things. Sit in silence and just be. I like Autumn and Winter when you get cosy clothes and blanket, candles around, good book.
And you can be lazy without remorses. I can be shy from time to time.
why not - I am not shy in general. I can speak out for others and for myself. I heard from some ppl that I am strong willed and charismatic. I am very talkative in environment I know. I don't hide many feelings.
N:
why yes - I like speaking in metaphoric way. I feel many things and sometimes I don't understand why. I don't really like tradition. I like brainstorming (but not always). I'm bored of every day topics. I like unusual things to talk about.
why not - I really don't know why not...
S:
why yes - I feel shallow sometimes. I like simple etertainment: cinema, popcorn, good food, good coffee on my table... Simple life. I try to enjoy it. I think happiness lies in simple ativities and our appreciation towards them.
why not - I'm bored of small talks. I like mysteries and comlicated things. But after digging into deep topics I need rest and read or watch something really simple and based on reality.
F:
why yes - I am emotional. Sensitive. I cry a lot but I don't show it.
why not - not always considering others while making decisions.
T:
why yes - I am rational eventhough I read about really strange and unbelievable stuff I still need some logic and rational value to swallow it. When I don't get it I treat it as entertainment. I don't consider others while making decisions sometimes. I may be really rude and don't care about harmony if something is fake or there is something wrong going on around me.
why not - I'm too emotional. I wear my emotions on sleeve very often.
P:
why yes - laziness, doing things on the last moment. At school I was studying night before exams. Now it is a bit different.
why not - I can be very organized. I always finish what I started. I like finishing projects and I feel the best when they are finished.
J:
why yes - I can't relax when there are things to do. I like to finish my projects. I like environment I know. I don't like new places too much although I need a change once in a while.
why not - I am changing my mind often. I have problems with making decision. I like changes.
Ufff...
Looking forward for your analysis.
Cheers to ppl who read whole essay
