RadicalDoubt
Alongside Questionable Clarity
- Joined
- Jun 27, 2017
- Messages
- 1,847
- MBTI Type
- TiSi
- Enneagram
- 9w1
- Instinctual Variant
- sp/so
Hey, so recent research has suggested that I am a 9w1 6 3w4 sp/so, but I have my doubts. I feel like the 3 might be the odd one out. I did a questionaire, if anyone has any suggestions that'd be super cool.
0. What's making you unsure of your type? What research have you already done to determine type?
Probably either the overanalysis of my personality and my lack of distinct connection to any of the enneagram types or tritypes. I’ve been researching for a couple of years, typing myself as various tritypes. I seem to stagnate around type 5, 6, and 9w1. Recent suggestion is 6 (equal wings/phobic) 9w1 3w4, but the tritype description seems lacking my withdrawn nature. Definitely sx blind, and probably sp/so.
1. Establish a "baseline mood"--when you're at home with nothing to do, where are you at mentally and emotionally? What do you notice in yourself? (Note, this is not a mood you inhabit "frequently", but your psychological baseline).
Of course it varies depending on my mood that day, but usually I’m mentally busy, whether it’s playing with ideas and concepts or making stories. I guess I’d say I’m contemplative, although not about myself. Since I have a tendency to run high on anxiety for no apparent reason, I’m very bouncy and will unconsciously skip if not working to control myself or paying attention. Mood wise either indifferent or mildly unhappy.
2. Describe yourself--
a. What's it like to be you?
I feel like I am a constant push and pull and quite contradictory. I’m energetic and optimistic with a desire to obtain a large degree of knowledge. I enjoy to go with the flow, and lack distinct opinions. Still, I’m very nervous and hesitant, consistently withdrawing when I feel uncomfortable and constantly looking to figure out motivation in order to predict others and deal with them. Dispassionate.
b. What have others said about you?
To others I am “the nice and innocent child†but at the same time quite intellectual. I am passionate about my future, respectful, and weirdly memorable (it’s strange, but people who have only met me once remember my name whilst I cannot remember theirs). I come across very stiff and controlled and conscientious. I’ve been told I’d make the perfect immortal because I am nice and friendly with many, but make few connections.
c. What do you think of yourself?
I’m… Ok? I guess I don’t have the highest self esteem and am quick to put myself down before others. I don’t think that I am the same as others per say, although I don’t go out of my way to be different. I’m probably nice, but I feel my lack of identity and tendency to overwork makes me problematic.
3. What are the issues you've dealt with in life? List some recurrent themes, and tell us a little about each one.
I struggle making and maintaining relationships of any sort. As soon as feel discomfort with people of any sort, I will wall them off and disassociate from them in a slow manner. I have stopped talking to people/withdrawn from others for extensive periods of time
Indecision is another common theme. I do not have strong feelings of passion towards many things, nor do I have affinities for many things. Even when it comes to skills, I am good at many things, but great at none. It’s difficult to make decisions of any sort because of this.
Lack of identity is the final theme, which draws back to lack of passion. I cannot seem to introspect on my own personality in a successful manner, making me feel as though I lack a distinct identity.
4. You're not good at everything--
a. What personality traits and/or ways of being are impossible for you to adopt?
Organization skills- My mom has OCD, so I have tried to become more attentive to organization in order to make her more comfortable, but fail miserably every time. I’m a mess and I lose things all the time, but I cannot fix this for whatever reason
Decisiveness- I lean toward overanalysis, so decision making is something I haven’t been able to adopt
b. What are qualities you'd like to have, but can't seem to develop?
Organization, decisiveness, a relaxed nature, and attentiveness… Also relationship skills.
5. Why have you left friends and other relationships in the past and/or why have they left you?
As I mentioned before, I am outwardly distant so people assume I don’t want them around when I really do. It doesn’t help that I’m not always the most attentive. At times my energy level can be so high and optimistic that people find it annoying. Finally, since I am not the most in tune with pop culture, the lack of common interest can make me mildly boring to others. I leave others based on lack of connection or personal discomfort.
6. Which types do you identify with most?
5, 9, 6, and 1 (in no distinct order)
a. How do you relate to these types?
5: I am very withdrawn and dispassionate, with a lust for knowledge. I have a tendency to isolate myself when uncomfortable and indulge only in my imaginary world (likely to a disgusting level). I am a very hard worker, which connects because 5 is in the competency triad.
9: I’m stubborn, dispassionate, and indecisive. I’m not passive aggressive or conflict avoidant per say, but I’m definitely focused on tact. I have my moments of laziness, and again with the withdraw. I am somewhat complacent, and optimistically focused.
6: I run high anxiety and have lots of fears. I respond to this in a phobic manner. I am constantly looking at the motivations of others, am very responsible, and look to others in order to gain security.
1: I am stiff, rigid, controlled, and highly critical of myself. I have a high degree of self control, and constantly try to make my work the highest quality I can. I hate when people misbehave or are disrespectful, and am not afraid to tell someone when I believe they are in the wrong. I have a feeling this isn’t one of my main types, but definitely strong as a wing.
b. How do you NOT relate to them?
5: I’m not that aloof and I have a feeling I’m more withdrawn in a 9 way rather than a 5 way. I am introspective and reflective, but not on myself. 5w6 seems like to much of a “darkly colored†core type for me (My personality is too energetic) and 5w4 seems too emotionally introspective. I am not detail oriented.
9: I am not that harmony oriented, nor am I that lazy.
6: I am not loyal, and more naive than suspicious.
1: I’m not organized nor decisive, and I am not naturally critical of others.
7. Which types are least like you?
8 and the heart center in general (although I have one of them). I’d say 7 if it wasn’t suggested so many times as a possibility
a. Why specifically do you not relate to these types?
8: I may not be passive aggressive, but I’m not agressive agressive either. Immediately upon reading type 8 description I knew this one definitely wasn’t me. I’m not decisive, I don't relate much to the id, and I’m not domineering.
2: Seems too complacent and image focused. Unfortunately, I’m only a little bit accommodating and not relationship oriented. I do things for others because it makes me feel good, not just to be needed. I don’t like when others acknowledge when I do things for them.
3: I have no clue how I’m perceived and I’m not very image conscious. I also don’t have a natural competitiveness about me. I can become competitive if I become really good at something, but I am more laid back and would rather do the best I can do and give the best quality work I can give rather than be better than everyone else.
4: I’m not self indulgent, and I don’t have a strong sense of image. When upset, I fall into a state where I almost cannot discern my identity, which doesn’t sound like four either. I don’t think I’m that special or unique (although I guess I wouldn’t say I’m the same as everyone else), and I don’t go out of my way to be different.
7: I guess this one comes down to my relationship to boredness. In healthy states, I can sit for hours entertained by the ideas in my head, and I don’t easily become bored. I’m relatively patient, and I see myself as someone with a lot of self control. I like novelty and gaining new information, but I don’t seek out new experiences constantly.
b. What points (if any) DO you relate to?
8: I’m not a pushover, I confront problems and people when I have problems with them. I’m not passive aggressive (more aggressive passive if that makes sense). I like being in control and leading, and when pushed beyond my level of irritation, I guess my anger can be quite volatile. Mostly in a screamy sort of way. II have a long fuse though, which sort of balances this out.
2: I enjoy volunteer work and helping others. I am often not aware of my own needs. I will often overextend myself for the sake of others. At my worst I can be manipulative, but this is not a constant thing. I guess I’d like to be seen as a caring and friendly person, but this is not of paramount importance.
3: I am hard working and a workaholic. I’m am driven to succeed and be good at all I do. I’m pretty sure I repress shame in order to get things done and live life. I use work as a distraction from discomfort. I want to become something I will be proud of. I fear failure.
4: I’m definitely moody and creative. Admittedly, I am a bit self absorbed, as I am very aware of my ideas and inner world I’ve created, although not so aware of things like pop culture or the interests of others unless I go out of my way to pay attention. I guess I try to see myself for who I am, and I try to be honest when I am wrong and flawed.
7:I'm very curious and optimistic. I'm pretty versatile, in the sense that I'm decent at many things, but not fantastic at any. I do avoid pain by keeping my mind occupied and by working, but this mostly started with the decline of my mental health. I have never really lost my childlike curiosity, and my personality is sparkly and bright to onlookers. While I do go into depth when studying something I am interested in, I know a lot about a lot of things. I just have my obvious, glaring blind spots.
8. They claim enneagram type is a hidden love need. What are your attitudes toward finding love?
In a romantic sense, I feel like that will just happen eventually. I don’t really search for it, not do I actively seek it. I seek more for a “love†or a passion for an activity or a calling. I want to feel strongly about something else and have strong opinion. I want to love doing something so much that I don’t want to stop.
9. What is the message your superego tells you?
My superego tells me to control myself and my urges. I don’t like to indulge in myself, even though it would probably be healthy if I did a little bit.
10. Determine your ego ideal--the way you strive to be and want others to perceive you. (Note, you may be consciously aware of failing at this, and you will be hard on yourself if you do. If someone else tells you you're NOT this way, it may make you feel hurt, violated, or angry.)
I want to be perceived as intelligent and capable of solving problems for both myself and others on my own. At the same time, I want to be approachable to others and be perceived as nice and outwardly accepting towards everyone.
Which of the following ideals resonate with you the most, and why? Rank them.
- to be "okay", having it together (5)
- to be devoted and loyal to a person or cause (8)
- to be sensitive, original, unique, and creative (6)
- to be knowledgeable (1)
- to be powerful, strong, unassailable. (7)
- to be accomplished and successful (2)
- to strive to become/behave like a good person (3)
- to be a loveable person (9)
- to be loving and benevolent (4)
11. Determine your "felt sense" of life. To do this it may help to look at how you perceive events. Another way to do this is to look back at your childhood and think of all the things your parents did to you. How did you/do you feel about these events?
I don’t think I understand this fully, so I’m just going to rank what I’ve been given below
Here are some common "felt senses" of life:
- I must do everything to maintain my world (5)
- I have a sense of being unimportant, insignificant, and undeserving of attention (3)
- I feel imperfect, not (good) enough (6)
- I have been abandoned and I am inherently flawed (8)
- I'm outside the natural unfoldment of things (1)
- People have wronged and messed with me (9)
- I feel isolated, cut off, and ultimately separate (2)
- I have felt weak and/or vulnerable to attack (7)
- I've had a sense of being rejectable (4)
12. Core fears. You may have been aware of these fears even as a very small child, before anyone did anything to influence it. You'd be mortified to be in this position or have others perceive you this way.
I’ve always had this gross fear of being in physical pain, but I’ll rate the ones given
Discuss which fears have played the greatest role in your life:
- Creating conflict by making myself or my needs too obvious (2) → when I was younger I tried to become invisible and handle my needs on my own in order to not bother people. Obviously that’s immature and I get that now, but it played a huge role in my development.
- Rejection, being needy, and not being loved (4)
- Weak and not being on top of things (5)
- Failure (3)
- Being abandoned, sadness, feeling lost (6)
- Entanglements and losing what I have (9)
- Something is basically wrong with me--I'm not good enough (8)
- Boredom, grunt work, and being exposed as a charlatan (7)
- A lot--everything and everyone to one degree or another. It's very generalized. (1) → I’m a very fearful person generally, and run on high anxiety
0. What's making you unsure of your type? What research have you already done to determine type?
Probably either the overanalysis of my personality and my lack of distinct connection to any of the enneagram types or tritypes. I’ve been researching for a couple of years, typing myself as various tritypes. I seem to stagnate around type 5, 6, and 9w1. Recent suggestion is 6 (equal wings/phobic) 9w1 3w4, but the tritype description seems lacking my withdrawn nature. Definitely sx blind, and probably sp/so.
1. Establish a "baseline mood"--when you're at home with nothing to do, where are you at mentally and emotionally? What do you notice in yourself? (Note, this is not a mood you inhabit "frequently", but your psychological baseline).
Of course it varies depending on my mood that day, but usually I’m mentally busy, whether it’s playing with ideas and concepts or making stories. I guess I’d say I’m contemplative, although not about myself. Since I have a tendency to run high on anxiety for no apparent reason, I’m very bouncy and will unconsciously skip if not working to control myself or paying attention. Mood wise either indifferent or mildly unhappy.
2. Describe yourself--
a. What's it like to be you?
I feel like I am a constant push and pull and quite contradictory. I’m energetic and optimistic with a desire to obtain a large degree of knowledge. I enjoy to go with the flow, and lack distinct opinions. Still, I’m very nervous and hesitant, consistently withdrawing when I feel uncomfortable and constantly looking to figure out motivation in order to predict others and deal with them. Dispassionate.
b. What have others said about you?
To others I am “the nice and innocent child†but at the same time quite intellectual. I am passionate about my future, respectful, and weirdly memorable (it’s strange, but people who have only met me once remember my name whilst I cannot remember theirs). I come across very stiff and controlled and conscientious. I’ve been told I’d make the perfect immortal because I am nice and friendly with many, but make few connections.
c. What do you think of yourself?
I’m… Ok? I guess I don’t have the highest self esteem and am quick to put myself down before others. I don’t think that I am the same as others per say, although I don’t go out of my way to be different. I’m probably nice, but I feel my lack of identity and tendency to overwork makes me problematic.
3. What are the issues you've dealt with in life? List some recurrent themes, and tell us a little about each one.
I struggle making and maintaining relationships of any sort. As soon as feel discomfort with people of any sort, I will wall them off and disassociate from them in a slow manner. I have stopped talking to people/withdrawn from others for extensive periods of time
Indecision is another common theme. I do not have strong feelings of passion towards many things, nor do I have affinities for many things. Even when it comes to skills, I am good at many things, but great at none. It’s difficult to make decisions of any sort because of this.
Lack of identity is the final theme, which draws back to lack of passion. I cannot seem to introspect on my own personality in a successful manner, making me feel as though I lack a distinct identity.
4. You're not good at everything--
a. What personality traits and/or ways of being are impossible for you to adopt?
Organization skills- My mom has OCD, so I have tried to become more attentive to organization in order to make her more comfortable, but fail miserably every time. I’m a mess and I lose things all the time, but I cannot fix this for whatever reason
Decisiveness- I lean toward overanalysis, so decision making is something I haven’t been able to adopt
b. What are qualities you'd like to have, but can't seem to develop?
Organization, decisiveness, a relaxed nature, and attentiveness… Also relationship skills.
5. Why have you left friends and other relationships in the past and/or why have they left you?
As I mentioned before, I am outwardly distant so people assume I don’t want them around when I really do. It doesn’t help that I’m not always the most attentive. At times my energy level can be so high and optimistic that people find it annoying. Finally, since I am not the most in tune with pop culture, the lack of common interest can make me mildly boring to others. I leave others based on lack of connection or personal discomfort.
6. Which types do you identify with most?
5, 9, 6, and 1 (in no distinct order)
a. How do you relate to these types?
5: I am very withdrawn and dispassionate, with a lust for knowledge. I have a tendency to isolate myself when uncomfortable and indulge only in my imaginary world (likely to a disgusting level). I am a very hard worker, which connects because 5 is in the competency triad.
9: I’m stubborn, dispassionate, and indecisive. I’m not passive aggressive or conflict avoidant per say, but I’m definitely focused on tact. I have my moments of laziness, and again with the withdraw. I am somewhat complacent, and optimistically focused.
6: I run high anxiety and have lots of fears. I respond to this in a phobic manner. I am constantly looking at the motivations of others, am very responsible, and look to others in order to gain security.
1: I am stiff, rigid, controlled, and highly critical of myself. I have a high degree of self control, and constantly try to make my work the highest quality I can. I hate when people misbehave or are disrespectful, and am not afraid to tell someone when I believe they are in the wrong. I have a feeling this isn’t one of my main types, but definitely strong as a wing.
b. How do you NOT relate to them?
5: I’m not that aloof and I have a feeling I’m more withdrawn in a 9 way rather than a 5 way. I am introspective and reflective, but not on myself. 5w6 seems like to much of a “darkly colored†core type for me (My personality is too energetic) and 5w4 seems too emotionally introspective. I am not detail oriented.
9: I am not that harmony oriented, nor am I that lazy.
6: I am not loyal, and more naive than suspicious.
1: I’m not organized nor decisive, and I am not naturally critical of others.
7. Which types are least like you?
8 and the heart center in general (although I have one of them). I’d say 7 if it wasn’t suggested so many times as a possibility
a. Why specifically do you not relate to these types?
8: I may not be passive aggressive, but I’m not agressive agressive either. Immediately upon reading type 8 description I knew this one definitely wasn’t me. I’m not decisive, I don't relate much to the id, and I’m not domineering.
2: Seems too complacent and image focused. Unfortunately, I’m only a little bit accommodating and not relationship oriented. I do things for others because it makes me feel good, not just to be needed. I don’t like when others acknowledge when I do things for them.
3: I have no clue how I’m perceived and I’m not very image conscious. I also don’t have a natural competitiveness about me. I can become competitive if I become really good at something, but I am more laid back and would rather do the best I can do and give the best quality work I can give rather than be better than everyone else.
4: I’m not self indulgent, and I don’t have a strong sense of image. When upset, I fall into a state where I almost cannot discern my identity, which doesn’t sound like four either. I don’t think I’m that special or unique (although I guess I wouldn’t say I’m the same as everyone else), and I don’t go out of my way to be different.
7: I guess this one comes down to my relationship to boredness. In healthy states, I can sit for hours entertained by the ideas in my head, and I don’t easily become bored. I’m relatively patient, and I see myself as someone with a lot of self control. I like novelty and gaining new information, but I don’t seek out new experiences constantly.
b. What points (if any) DO you relate to?
8: I’m not a pushover, I confront problems and people when I have problems with them. I’m not passive aggressive (more aggressive passive if that makes sense). I like being in control and leading, and when pushed beyond my level of irritation, I guess my anger can be quite volatile. Mostly in a screamy sort of way. II have a long fuse though, which sort of balances this out.
2: I enjoy volunteer work and helping others. I am often not aware of my own needs. I will often overextend myself for the sake of others. At my worst I can be manipulative, but this is not a constant thing. I guess I’d like to be seen as a caring and friendly person, but this is not of paramount importance.
3: I am hard working and a workaholic. I’m am driven to succeed and be good at all I do. I’m pretty sure I repress shame in order to get things done and live life. I use work as a distraction from discomfort. I want to become something I will be proud of. I fear failure.
4: I’m definitely moody and creative. Admittedly, I am a bit self absorbed, as I am very aware of my ideas and inner world I’ve created, although not so aware of things like pop culture or the interests of others unless I go out of my way to pay attention. I guess I try to see myself for who I am, and I try to be honest when I am wrong and flawed.
7:I'm very curious and optimistic. I'm pretty versatile, in the sense that I'm decent at many things, but not fantastic at any. I do avoid pain by keeping my mind occupied and by working, but this mostly started with the decline of my mental health. I have never really lost my childlike curiosity, and my personality is sparkly and bright to onlookers. While I do go into depth when studying something I am interested in, I know a lot about a lot of things. I just have my obvious, glaring blind spots.
8. They claim enneagram type is a hidden love need. What are your attitudes toward finding love?
In a romantic sense, I feel like that will just happen eventually. I don’t really search for it, not do I actively seek it. I seek more for a “love†or a passion for an activity or a calling. I want to feel strongly about something else and have strong opinion. I want to love doing something so much that I don’t want to stop.
9. What is the message your superego tells you?
My superego tells me to control myself and my urges. I don’t like to indulge in myself, even though it would probably be healthy if I did a little bit.
10. Determine your ego ideal--the way you strive to be and want others to perceive you. (Note, you may be consciously aware of failing at this, and you will be hard on yourself if you do. If someone else tells you you're NOT this way, it may make you feel hurt, violated, or angry.)
I want to be perceived as intelligent and capable of solving problems for both myself and others on my own. At the same time, I want to be approachable to others and be perceived as nice and outwardly accepting towards everyone.
Which of the following ideals resonate with you the most, and why? Rank them.
- to be "okay", having it together (5)
- to be devoted and loyal to a person or cause (8)
- to be sensitive, original, unique, and creative (6)
- to be knowledgeable (1)
- to be powerful, strong, unassailable. (7)
- to be accomplished and successful (2)
- to strive to become/behave like a good person (3)
- to be a loveable person (9)
- to be loving and benevolent (4)
11. Determine your "felt sense" of life. To do this it may help to look at how you perceive events. Another way to do this is to look back at your childhood and think of all the things your parents did to you. How did you/do you feel about these events?
I don’t think I understand this fully, so I’m just going to rank what I’ve been given below
Here are some common "felt senses" of life:
- I must do everything to maintain my world (5)
- I have a sense of being unimportant, insignificant, and undeserving of attention (3)
- I feel imperfect, not (good) enough (6)
- I have been abandoned and I am inherently flawed (8)
- I'm outside the natural unfoldment of things (1)
- People have wronged and messed with me (9)
- I feel isolated, cut off, and ultimately separate (2)
- I have felt weak and/or vulnerable to attack (7)
- I've had a sense of being rejectable (4)
12. Core fears. You may have been aware of these fears even as a very small child, before anyone did anything to influence it. You'd be mortified to be in this position or have others perceive you this way.
I’ve always had this gross fear of being in physical pain, but I’ll rate the ones given
Discuss which fears have played the greatest role in your life:
- Creating conflict by making myself or my needs too obvious (2) → when I was younger I tried to become invisible and handle my needs on my own in order to not bother people. Obviously that’s immature and I get that now, but it played a huge role in my development.
- Rejection, being needy, and not being loved (4)
- Weak and not being on top of things (5)
- Failure (3)
- Being abandoned, sadness, feeling lost (6)
- Entanglements and losing what I have (9)
- Something is basically wrong with me--I'm not good enough (8)
- Boredom, grunt work, and being exposed as a charlatan (7)
- A lot--everything and everyone to one degree or another. It's very generalized. (1) → I’m a very fearful person generally, and run on high anxiety
