Hello,
I am seeing a therapist who uses Enneagram, and am having trouble typing myself. Every week I go in and tell her I think I am a different type and I'm starting to get frustrated and feeling like she might think I am crazy. I bought Wisdom of the Enneagram and Personality Traits. I have also read Enneagram Institute website and done the RISO. I scored highest in 9, 5, 4, 7 (in that order). At first I thought I was a 9 because I am uncomfortable being assertive to very dominant types in some situations, but my husband, mom, and sister all read the descriptions and said there's no way I am 9 (I am very assertive and dominant with those I am closest to). My therapist thought I was a 4 after our first session (which was an hour), but I am completely oblivious to my emotions most of the time and don't see much of 4 in myself. I can be moody and temperamental if I feel like my freedom and autonomy is being encroached upon, or I feel controlled in any way, but that's about all I identify with. I identify with a few aspects of 5 - I can become obsessive about certain subjects and completely immerse myself in research and planning... until I get bored or frustrated or distracted and then will completely abandon). I also thought about 1 for awhile because I can be highly critical of myself and others (again, only those closest to me) when under stress and I become a perfectionist about my environment, food, etc. But, I have terrible self control and have been very impulsive throughout most of my life. I think the perfectionism may be an overcompensation for being aware of my own imperfection and lack of personal control.
Then I did some free tests online and got 7 on every one. I relate to a lot of 7 - impulsive, constantly changing plans / career paths, future oriented, optimistic, can be fun and spontaneous... but my therapist did not seem super convinced and she suggested I look at 6. I relate to some of 6 as well - I tend to be a bit contradictory about many things, I worry, at times can have irrational fears, self-doubt, indecision. I think I am having issues typing myself because 1) I was emotionally abused for 3 years (age 19-22 - developmental years) by an alcoholic / addict and during that time I abused alcohol as well and was a pretty heavy stoner. Through my childhood and up until this point I can see many aspects of 7 (w6) - I was very outgoing, didn't think much about consequences, with a rebellious streak, took a lot of chances and opportunistic, always looked on the bright side (but could still be temperamental), made friends easily but always remained independent, was the "life of the party", always out to entertain even to my detriment, felt everything would work out, didn't take much too seriously, with strong aversion to commitment but also prone to obsession. I also am still very creative and pick up many things easily, tend to see the "big picture" and am good at synthesizing many ideas. The emotional abuse hurt my confidence and now I am much more unsure of myself and have fear in being assertive to dominants (pretty sure my x was an 8). I became much more introspective (but feel stuck and my head and miss being more uninhibited) and tend to avoid social situations, although I am still very outgoing if I am in a social situation and get excited by new experiences, it just takes a little convincing to get me out. I have a hard time showing my whole self to others though. 2) I saw a man get shot several times during this same time period and since I have also developed (or became acutely aware of) anxiety and fear about potential threats (which I know is a 6 thing). Again, the anxiety and fear can at times keep me from getting out, but once I am out I am fine. Post both of these events I travelled solo through Europe and Morocco for several months and took (probably too many) risks and had a great time being independent, but also felt guilty for being irresponsible. 3) I had an unplanned pregnancy and have had some postpartum depression and anxiety. We are very happy with our baby, but stressed about finances and the future. I also lost my job during my pregnancy and am in the midst of trying to figure out a new path, and am dealing with a lot of indecision and commitment phobia in doing so. I have a million creative ideas, business ideas, project ideas all day but change my mind about pursuing any of them as soon as I tell anyone about them
Anyway, if anyone has any insight into what might help me pin down my type it would be greatly appreciated. I am trying (very hard) to keep my commitment to this counselor! It would especially help to understand if reactions to trauma are devolving within a core type, moving in path of disintegration, or if trauma can be something completely different and unrelated to enneagram. Thank you!
I am seeing a therapist who uses Enneagram, and am having trouble typing myself. Every week I go in and tell her I think I am a different type and I'm starting to get frustrated and feeling like she might think I am crazy. I bought Wisdom of the Enneagram and Personality Traits. I have also read Enneagram Institute website and done the RISO. I scored highest in 9, 5, 4, 7 (in that order). At first I thought I was a 9 because I am uncomfortable being assertive to very dominant types in some situations, but my husband, mom, and sister all read the descriptions and said there's no way I am 9 (I am very assertive and dominant with those I am closest to). My therapist thought I was a 4 after our first session (which was an hour), but I am completely oblivious to my emotions most of the time and don't see much of 4 in myself. I can be moody and temperamental if I feel like my freedom and autonomy is being encroached upon, or I feel controlled in any way, but that's about all I identify with. I identify with a few aspects of 5 - I can become obsessive about certain subjects and completely immerse myself in research and planning... until I get bored or frustrated or distracted and then will completely abandon). I also thought about 1 for awhile because I can be highly critical of myself and others (again, only those closest to me) when under stress and I become a perfectionist about my environment, food, etc. But, I have terrible self control and have been very impulsive throughout most of my life. I think the perfectionism may be an overcompensation for being aware of my own imperfection and lack of personal control.
Then I did some free tests online and got 7 on every one. I relate to a lot of 7 - impulsive, constantly changing plans / career paths, future oriented, optimistic, can be fun and spontaneous... but my therapist did not seem super convinced and she suggested I look at 6. I relate to some of 6 as well - I tend to be a bit contradictory about many things, I worry, at times can have irrational fears, self-doubt, indecision. I think I am having issues typing myself because 1) I was emotionally abused for 3 years (age 19-22 - developmental years) by an alcoholic / addict and during that time I abused alcohol as well and was a pretty heavy stoner. Through my childhood and up until this point I can see many aspects of 7 (w6) - I was very outgoing, didn't think much about consequences, with a rebellious streak, took a lot of chances and opportunistic, always looked on the bright side (but could still be temperamental), made friends easily but always remained independent, was the "life of the party", always out to entertain even to my detriment, felt everything would work out, didn't take much too seriously, with strong aversion to commitment but also prone to obsession. I also am still very creative and pick up many things easily, tend to see the "big picture" and am good at synthesizing many ideas. The emotional abuse hurt my confidence and now I am much more unsure of myself and have fear in being assertive to dominants (pretty sure my x was an 8). I became much more introspective (but feel stuck and my head and miss being more uninhibited) and tend to avoid social situations, although I am still very outgoing if I am in a social situation and get excited by new experiences, it just takes a little convincing to get me out. I have a hard time showing my whole self to others though. 2) I saw a man get shot several times during this same time period and since I have also developed (or became acutely aware of) anxiety and fear about potential threats (which I know is a 6 thing). Again, the anxiety and fear can at times keep me from getting out, but once I am out I am fine. Post both of these events I travelled solo through Europe and Morocco for several months and took (probably too many) risks and had a great time being independent, but also felt guilty for being irresponsible. 3) I had an unplanned pregnancy and have had some postpartum depression and anxiety. We are very happy with our baby, but stressed about finances and the future. I also lost my job during my pregnancy and am in the midst of trying to figure out a new path, and am dealing with a lot of indecision and commitment phobia in doing so. I have a million creative ideas, business ideas, project ideas all day but change my mind about pursuing any of them as soon as I tell anyone about them
Anyway, if anyone has any insight into what might help me pin down my type it would be greatly appreciated. I am trying (very hard) to keep my commitment to this counselor! It would especially help to understand if reactions to trauma are devolving within a core type, moving in path of disintegration, or if trauma can be something completely different and unrelated to enneagram. Thank you!